"You give me a thousand reasons not to love you," I blurt out."And I'm well aware of that. Believe me Magnus, I spent hours imagining what it would be like to see you again. I was a coward and I hurt you. I'm sorry for that." Alec's honesty and the look in his eyes make me swallow hard. I watch him as his fingers gossamerly graze the green of the table. Sighing, he disengages and strides elegantly toward the arrangement of assorted delicacies. A finger glides over the neck of the bottle, the green of the glass darker than Jonathan's eyes, and I can't help but give a moment to the man who walked by my side for many years. Only briefly, he is there in my thoughts and I feel the cold vibrating creeping over my skin. Countless hours of therapy, conversations with the most renowned traumatologist in the country, and still I felt small, a worm under the boot of a being who hates me. I feel his fingers on my skin and the pressure on my throat. Heaviness grips me and breathing heavily I cling to the dark wood of the table, the green is suddenly too bright and hurts my eyes, the music too loud, even though Alec's friends wanted to create a cozy atmosphere for the two of us. I hate metal and the screaming of the always angry singers, hard guitar riffs and beats pressing in the stomach.

"Would you like a sip?" asks Alec, bringing me out of my stupor. I don't feel like drinking. Or talk. We've said so much and haven't taken a step forward. I need to regain control of my body, banish thoughts of Jonathan, blood, and a dark alley."No," I answer quietly, swallowing down the panic. As so often in my life after a fateful night. Indifferently, Alec pulls his shoulders up, wraps his hand around the body of the wine bottle, and gasping, I watch as blood-red liquid trickles over his full lips. A trickle of fruity grape juice flows down his chin and neck. Alec drinks, swallows, his Adam's apple bouncing incessantly, and I have only one thought. I want to feel him, to kiss the taste of wine from his lips.

"Alexander," I hear myself say, but my words are surrounded by fog and the noise in my ears. It could be so simple. "A sip of wine after all?" he asks, licking the remains from his lips."You...", I try to say, but it's hard for me to speak. What is this guy doing to me? "What?" Slowly, he strides toward me. His steps resemble a panther on the prowl. Silent, creeping, lurking, focused. A predator on the prowl never takes its eyes off its prey, never, not for a second. Neither does Alec let me out of his sight. The closer he gets to me, the more clearly I see the deep blackness in the center of his storm-soaked irises. The intensity of Alec's gaze, a fiery caress with the silent promise of turning the low hum in my body into tingling desire. A single bright spot amid his blue irises. The stormy sea surrounded by millions of exploding stars. No painter could capture that singularity. I remember the moment I first saw Alec. When I look at him, I see the man who took my heart by storm, the person I needed. I see him and that's all that matters. The same desire penetrates from every fiber of his body steeled by hard training. He is sex on two legs and the images of that time overlap with my dreams, in which I took refuge in countless nights. Then as now, he is the beginning of our personal apocalypse. Inexorably, temptation tickles my tongue. Sensory memory is a wonderful thing. Why does my heart ache so much at the thought of our last night?

Nevertheless, a bad idea. A very bad one, but who would I be if I didn't meet his gaze with the same intensity."I know exactly what you're thinking." Silently, I reach for the bottle in his hand, and though a soft voice inside me whispers not to, my lips hover close to the round opening. The hungry look from his eyes veiled with lust. I wish he wouldn't turn me into a begging insect. Alec follows my every move, and the greed in his gaze doesn't escape me as my lips lasciviously curve over the rim of the bottle's neck and the storm in his irises gives way to cosmic darkness. We are far from finished with each other. One look into his crystal eyes says more than a thousand words. In my veins tob a firestorm of unimagined proportions and the starry sky in his eyes, blurs all guilt, our sin.

The wine runs indecently slowly down my throat and Alec's tongue against my skin makes me shudder. My lips tingle in joyful anticipation of tasting Alec's sweetness. One ghostly movement and my cock reacts as if his lips and tongue have long since pushed me down the abyss. Velvet soft, his tongue strokes my throat and I swallow, feeling the pressure, a sinful promise of more. More of Alec's caresses, more of Alec's heat and the unbridled passion of two souls contorting after each other. I feel the tingle on the back of my neck, light and intoxicating. Sharp teeth slide across my neck, sinful lips suck at my throat, my breath catches and my heart threatens to burst the bony barrier in my chest. Damn this turns me on so much. First drops of pleasure are released from my cock, hard pressed against my jeans. In search of relaxation, I press my pelvis against Alec. Forgotten is the world around us, forgotten his words and I'll be damned if I ever forget the happiness and madness he gives me. Alec's fingertips wander gropingly over my nipples and I wish he would expel the offending fabric from my body. I need more, much more. "Fuck, you're amazing," Alec whispers. Still his lips glide over my neck. One hand demanding on my hip, I moan loudly as he complies with my urging and my hard penis presses greedily against his. I suppress the urge to come in my pants - like a horny teenager or in Jonathan's highly praised coming-of-age books where every other guy spreads his seed as soon as another guy peels his pants off his body and touches his dripping glans with his lips.

"How long has it been since your last test?" asks Alec. Frustrated and surprised, I open my eyes and look questioningly at him, and I don't have to think long to know what he means. "A while," I reply honestly. I owe him that much. Nothing is worse than waking up after a hot night with the horrors of a possible infection.

"We need to-""No," I stop any backtalk."Jonah and I have always used birth control, and my last test was negative. There was no one else but you." Alec's intense gaze makes me swallow hard. I miss his lips on my skin and the beguiling pressure against my throat. He fools me into thinking I can feel his cock in my throat. I remember that colorfully, too. My tongue snaking around Alec's pulsing muscle, his glans soft and demanding against the roof of my mouth and the junction with my windpipe. My desperate gasps for air and tears of pleasure on my cheeks. His hand on my throat, pressure and ecstasy. He can be so tender and at the same time it feels like he's devouring me. With everything I have. He is the predator and I am his prey.

Alec closes his eyes and I watch the shadow play of his long black lashes on the silky soft light skin. He is too beautiful, hard to believe that he binds his heart to just one person. His fluttering lids intensify the need to kiss every ache, every uncertainty, every little emotion from his face. Tentatively sliding my lips over the bridge of his nose, Alec sighs at the unexpected caress. I feel his breath warm against my throat. Not enough pressure. Strong hands clasp my hips, pressing our bodies tightly together. My lips continue to roam over feathery lashes and prominent cheekbones. The excited beating of his heart against my chest matches mine."Keep going. That's nice," he whispers. Gently, my lips glide over his skin, taking in every inch of this incredible man. How I wish I could show the world.... I forbid myself this thought. Alec doesn't belong to me."Magnus," he breathes, and again I feel his breath on my neck, his lips and teeth. Possessively, he bites into my skin and I moan at the urgent feeling in my chest, my cock, and every molecule deep inside me.

"Alexander," I reply, and with one fluid motion his hands slide under my shirt and before I can utter a word of dissent, I stand exposed before him. With frantic breaths and vibrating desire, Alec's eyes glide over my body. His warm fingertips lightly touch my shoulder and I close my eyes, chasing the feel of his strokes on my skin. Alec's presence is overpowering. His fingers write invisible words on my skin. He follows the path of muscle and sinew and I almost wish his lips would follow them. I would be lost in him, his kisses and the intoxicating feeling of happiness. Alec's touches are tentative, caressing. Almost as if I were the most precious thing in the world. As if it's the last time he'll be close to me. Teasingly, his fingers cup my nipples, my muscles tense as he lightly pinches the hard bud and the sound from my throat resembles animalistic lust."Still so sensitive," he says."Why are you torturing me like this?", I ask, managing to suppress a frustrated growl. His hands leave my body and I miss the warmth of his skin. Damn it, how could it have come to this?

"We should get the bottle to safety and my shirt. You're shivering. Are you cold?" he asks innocently. As if he doesn't know."I'm horny, Alexander," I counter, opening my eyes. Why was I doing this? From the first moment, the color of his eyes captivated me. Blue. I've never seen a man with such an intense hue. Midnight blue swirls fight with the brilliant light blue, which resemble lightning bolts in front of jet black storm clouds. My head is spinning and my heart is beating way too fast. Again his fingers caress my shoulder, sliding into the hollow of my collarbone, with light pressure up over my throat. He lingers on a spot behind my ear, massaging the spot with circular motions."Can't you just fuck me?", I ask, dropping my head to the side, giving him space and closing my eyes with a moan as his lips take the place of his fingertips. He sucks on the sensitive skin and I wish he would never stop."Where's the fun in that?" he mumbles hotly against my skin. Alec's lips move over the contours of my jaw followed by his tongue, which pushes between my parted lips unbidden. Sighing, I receive what he has to give me.

Our tongues dance together, as intimately and familiarly as if they had never done anything else. This sensation causes the world to realign and we merge with the center of the universe. Alec's warm hand on the back of my neck, gentle pressure and the other demanding on my back. It could be so simple. I remember our first night. The only one with urgent kisses, heated desire and clothes that couldn't leave our bodies fast enough. Today is different. Alec is different. Gentle, yet demanding. Paying homage to the sublime elegance of my body with breathy kisses and teasing tongues. Removes layers of fabric and exposes every inch of my quivering body with intoxicating calm. It is beguiling, arousing. The gentle foreplay an auspicious messenger for the lurking intensity of his lust. Alec's warming body moves away from me, and with fever-soaked gaze his eyes glide over my womb. My lover's covetous gazes ignite the thunderstorm we've long been at the center of, sending fresh waves of lust, shaking the very foundations of my existence.

"You're beautiful," he murmurs, fixing my gaze with voluptuous fervor as layer after layer leaves his body and transforms me into a whimpering creature dripping with horniness. Alec's body, steeled by training, is the epitome of aesthetics. The vibrations between us are literally palpable, the muscles on my legs tremble with arousal and Alec's body also sends clear signals. Heavy breathing raises and lowers the chest covered with light dark fluff, his nipples stretch towards my fingertips and I enjoy the moment when the tip of my finger gently plays around the bud and Alec falls into longing moans. Firmly, he claws his hands into my sides, pressing against me and my manhood. Teasingly, hands wander over my buttocks, fingers sliding into the sensitive crevice between my cheeks as my lips kiss Alec's taste of every inch of his skin. My tongue wanders over the sinewy strands of his neck, and the memory of Alec's deep gasp as my lips played around an erogenous zone pushes brashly into my thoughts.

"Are you still sensitive at this point?", I ask lustfully, licking once over the shell of his ear before hot breath sends a shockwave through his body. I feel the shock of his body, smell the aroma of his lust and the wetness between our bodies. His body is a rotten traitor, so close to the threshold of ecstasy a true gift. Greedily my lips slide over his ear, gossamer soft and Alec softens in my arms."Yes you are," I breathe, and Alec rewards my eagerness with gushing devotion."And you?" he presses out between several frantic breaths."You're playing unfair babe," he retorts. Inwardly I curse his trained strength, but my body rejoices joyfully at the animalistic turn and his dominance. My former misgivings fully dissolve as my hand satisfyingly strokes through Alec's soft hair, his lips gently caress my neck and shoulder, and a flaming trail of bottomless desire gives way. Hectic breath and fiery desire, Alec's hands caressing on my skin I feel the intoxicating fall. Bliss expands my chest, triumphant hot adrenaline rushes through my veins and the staccato of my heart booms loudly through the silence of the day.

The friction of his glans on my hole, so damn horny. It's paradise on earth and Alec my sin made flesh. A fever dream come true. Alec's kisses, swirl after swirl chase like surges of electricity through my body, eliciting blissful sighs and tingling shivers on my skin. The desire for more of Alec and his lips crashes over me like a thunderstorm in the vastness of the American desert. It's sweet torture and at the same time his lips feel like heaven on earth. His kisses are so familiar to my lips, his touches I have sorely missed. I need it, him, everything from this incredible man."Are you still into rimming?" asks Alec, immediately embarking on a journey down into the center of my lust. Intoxicating is the feeling of his sinful tongue at my entrance as it plunges deep inside me, eliciting throaty sounds. Wetness surrounds me and fiery desire whips through my body. The interplay of nibbling teeth and loving licks, choked sounds full of lustful noises and I'll be damned if I ever want anything but this indescribable feeling of deepest intimacy and wild greed again.

For a moment I surrender to the illusion, the intoxicating images in my head, Alec's hot breath beguiling on my skin and the sinful lips, my downfall. I feel the euphoria as it flows through my veins in wild long spurts, adrenaline and endorphins mix and Alec's fingers greedily penetrate my most intimate."You go right under my skin.""You're perfect," Alec whispers, kissing my shoulder and neck, flying caresses, light and gentle. His promise of infinity."And you're radioactive," I reply."Is that good or bad?" he asks. His warm breath tickles my skin and, moaning, I bury my hands in his hair. Bad, deadly, definite."You're going to be the death of me Alec Lightwood." Sensually we melt, dancing, surrendering to the lightheartedness of the moment and never have I enjoyed the gentle dab of lips on my skin as much as I do with him. Alexander Lightwood. I feel Alec's hands all over my skin and every molecule breaks into a million stars as the tip of his finger grazes my prostate.

I want this so much, everything, him, Alexander with the divine fingers. Every caress, the curling of the finger links and his breath in my neck. Nibbling teeth and my clawing fingers in his hair. Not to enjoy it would be foolish. Call me a fool, I am. My senses are tense, every fiber of my body begging for Alec's cock and imminent release."This one's my favorite moment," he croaks, and bittersweet pain envelops me as Alec's glans breaks through my ring of muscle, slowly sinking into me inch by inch. He doesn't even stop, shakily holding his breath, and his subsequent drawn-out moan makes me forget everything. He does not prevent, penetrates deep into me and at this moment I could not be more indifferent. No disturbing barrier between us and our lust, only trust and desire, Alec's tongue caressing my earlobe and his fingers clawing painfully into my hips. He takes me deep, shaking the foundations of my existence with his thrusts and taking full possession of me.

The intensity of his thrusts awakens the spark inside me to life and a blink of an eye later my body is on fire while his lips devour me and I whimper, seeking support in the soft splendor on his head. His lips on my neck are pure sin. The fire of ecstasy threatens to burn me. Headlong I plunge into the flames, receiving heat and smoke and floating.

"I love you," Alec moans close to my ear, biting lightly into the heated flesh."Magnus." My heart explodes. Contracts, shatters into singular little molecules, and I'm aware that no superpower in this universe can put it back together. His fingers at my throat, whispered words drenched in love and affection and the tingling sensation in my loins is entwined with hot adrenaline released by the explosion inside me."Feeling you inside me feels way too good," I say, gasping."You feel incredible. Tight. Hot. You exude a sense of calm and..." Alec moans loudly as my fingers bury themselves painfully in his hair."Still, the storm is unstoppable," I complete his words. Every inch of my body is on fire. A glistening inferno rushes through me as Alec's tip hits my prostate and we melt together in the maelstrom of desire.

Greedily I press my butt against Alec's thrusts, taking everything from his desire."That's it... Good, so good and tight. Yes, fuck you on my cock," he says in a throaty voice, between frantic breaths."I wish I could take you like I did in London.""Then do it. Fuck me Alec." The pressure on my prostate is not enough and so incredibly fulfilling at the same time. The throbbing sensation of his cock, frantic breaths and sinful promises of velvety words. Chaos in my nerve endings and hot tears on my heated skin. He pulls me with him into the abyss and I enjoy the feeling of freedom and the throbbing adrenaline in my veins.

The vibration of his moans presses against my back, sending electrifying shivers through the vertebrae and muscles of my spasming body. My skin is on fire and I want to come so badly. With each thrust, each sound from his mouth, I melt into our animalistic lust. Alec catches me and I give him everything, my body, my lust, me. My love for Alexander shakes the very foundations of my being. It towers over us. My name only a hoarse cry from his throat, my orgasm a combination of yearning ecstasy and fiery greed.