Disclaimer

This story is a piece of fiction based on the author's imagination and has nothing to do with the actual life of the characters mentioned in the story. I have casted Ashwin Kumar and Sivaangi Krishnakumar as leads. Thank you.

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Ashaangi TS Heart's Musings

Part Three

"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever" (500 Days of Summer)

Sivaangi closed her diary with a thud. Wiping her tears with a bitter smile, she shook her head and placed the diary on the bed next to her. Burying her face in her palms, she heaved a deep sigh.

Despite whatever happened, Ashwin remained to be a beautiful chapter in Sivaangi's life. He made her feel what no human has ever made her feel. Even after all these years, though she has managed to stay away from him, she knew in her heart that she loves him and will always do.

It wasn't easy. Sivaangi was broken by everyone including Ashwin's love. Sure, took her time to pick herself back and piece herself together but she did it and she had made terms with her life.

Placing the diary back inside her cupboard, Sivaangi closed that cupboard door and opened another one. She bent down to the lower section and pulled out a cloth. It was the dupatta which Ashwin used on the cultural day that she kept safe and unwashed.

Breathing in the material and wrapping it around her, Sivaangi walked out of her room and went to kitchen, washed her face in the sink and had a glass of water. Wiping her itchy tired eyes, she walked towards the balcony side.

As Sivaangi sat by the balcony door breathing in the dupatta and enclosing herself in its warmness, with a bitter smile she couldn't help but reminisce how they enjoyed themselves at the tour as best as they could and what happened post that. 

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(Past)

Sivaangi still remember the time they sat down to watch 3 D show in amusement park at Ooty tour. They were seated side by side. Ashwin was shouting at the screen and enjoyed while Sivaangi was mum, overwhelmed and just smiled at the screen. As their seats were shaking, their fingers brushed couple of times.

Sivaangi's breath hitched when Ashwin grasped her finger in his when it brushed. They had their eyes on screen yet the smile and laughter in their face belonged to their moment. He only left her finger when the show end.

Even when they came back from the tour, they sat with each other on the bus. After that tour they did became close but then their friends and classmates started to gossip a lot. Their own friends spoke the whole thing in bad light and they only blamed Sivaangi for this, not Ashwin.

Few days after the tour when their gang decided to go to Rakshan's house to spend time as a gang, Sivaangi was the last one to come. Rakshan's mother let her in and asked her to meet her friends at upstairs.

Sivaangi climbed up humming a song in good spirits but froze on her spot when she saw her friends circled around Ashwin and speaking ill of her while he had his head down and remained mum.

"Ava panrathellam nee encourage panatha Ashwin. Unakum Meera kum dhan aprm prachana" Pari advised.

Sivaangi's eyes darted towards Ashwin from Pari and a part of her broke when Ashwin heaved a deep sigh and nodded. She knew he can't stand up for her in front of anyone. She knew she can't get upset at him for this but it still hurts.

"Naan pathukuren"

"Nee dhan ava panrathu pidikala nu neraya thadava engata solirukiyeh da. Neradiya ava ta solira vendiyathu dhana?" Pugazh said and Sivaangi felt the ground slipping beneath her legs. She knows he must have said that to protect them but she felt taken aback and hurt.

"Yenna ma Sivaangi, valilayeh ninnuta, mela polaya?" Rakshan's mother asked and everyone jerked.

Ashwin stood up followed by everyone.

"Naan irukalam nu nenachen aana kelambura neram vandhruchu, aunty. Poetu varen" Sivaangi said with a forced smile, glanced at her friends once save for Ashwin and went out.

None of them approached Sivaangi to explain themselves or convince themselves. When Ashwin couldn't bring courage to face her for two days and then came to her apologizing for hiding this from her, Sivaangi turned her heart cold and suggested that they remain classmates who are friends stating she doesn't want to ruin whatever that's left of her bond. He wasn't okay with it but she couldn't care. There was barely two weeks left for board exams anyway. So, most were busy with exam preparations.

Sivaangi had to pretend to be friends with Ashwin. She had to turn blind eye and be friends with her friends whom back bitch her till she completed her twelfth because few days later their friends made up a story and she, even though she knows they're lying accepted and stayed. Ashwin tried his best to talk be normal with her but she couldn't pretend too much and so, she kept her distance from him.

On the last day of school life, when Ashwin enthusiastically waited for Sivaangi, she watched him from far and left. The first thing she did when she went home is to leave from school groups, block her friends including Ashwin, delete her social media profiles and left to her grandma's. Years rolled, things changed, she changed but what remained constant was her feelings for him and she made peace with herself that come what may, a big part of Sivaangi would always love Ashwin.

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A loud thunder cracked in the sky pulling Sivaangi out of her thoughts. Rain has reduced but wind was blowing. She shook her head trying to push those thoughts away. Yes, living with these hurtful memories are tough but she could never bring herself to hate Ashwin despite everything. Wiping her tears with a bitter smile, she stood up and stretched her arms before walking towards her bedroom to catch up on good sleep.

But Sivaangi jumped on her feet when she heard someone knocking the main door. It was around 11:30 pm. She was scared for a moment but knowing how secure her apartment building block is, she grabbed her mobile and flashlight and went to the door thinking it must be one of her neighbours.

"Varennn" Sivaangi grumbled as she moved towards main door.

When Sivaangi opened the door, no one was in front of her making her frown. But she jerked when she felt a tug in her pants making her show the flashlight down. Her neighbour's daughter Charu was standing there.

"Hey rowdy baby. Ipdi irutu la thaniya yenna panitu iruka? Onga amma enga?" Sivaangi asked as she bent forward towards the girl.

"Amma Appa ooruku poerukanga, Rowdy. Pati kuda irukanga" Charu explained.

"Seri inneram nee matum thaniya inga yenna panra?"

"Athu-"

"Charu"

Sivaangi scrunched her eyebrows in confusion on hearing a male voice and lifted her flashlight. A man in his mid-twenties was standing there holding a candle.

"Rowdy, ithu dhan ennoda Raj mama" Charu introduced when Raj came and stood by Charu, "Mama, ithu enoda friend, Rowdy"

"Rowdy ah?" Raj chuckled while Sivaangi pouted at Charu before looking at Raj.

"Athu suma nickname. Naan Sivaangi" Sivaangi introduced herself and added, "I would have shake hands but your hands are clearly busy"

"Athellam prachana ila. I'm Raj" Raj said shifting the candle in other hand.

Sivaangi smiled at him and shook his hand.

"Rowdy, unta extra flash light iruka? Pati vangitu vara sonanga" Charu said.

"Haan, enta iruku. Ula vaanga" Sivaangi invited them.

"Ila nga irukatum. Neenga eduthutu vanga" Raj said.

"Veetuku vandhavanga la ipdi nikka vaikurathu nala irukathu" Sivaangi said.

"Athellam prachana ila, Rowdy. Nee po, naanum Raj mama um railing pakkam ninnu malai ah pathutu irukom. Takkunu eduthutu va, po" Charu said gently pushing Sivaangi in.

Sivaangi rolled her eyes at Charu, pinched her cheeks and went inside while Raj and Charu moved towards the railing balcony to see rain. When Sivaangi came back, she saw the duo standing by the railing and talking. She walked towards them.

"Indha Charu" Sivaangi said as she stood behind Charu.

"Machan?"

Just as Sivaangi was extending the flash light to Charu, they heard a voice behind.

"Dei machan, iruta iruku, apdiyeh nillu" Raj said as he stepped forward.

Sivaangi's grip on the dupatta went loose and due to wind, it flew from her making her panic. It wasn't just a piece of cloth for her. Thrusting the flash light in Charu's hand, Sivaangi turned back and searched for her dupatta, her eyes tearing up with the mere thought that she might lose it. Charu looked at her confused.

"Yenna achu Rowdy?" Charu asked.

"Enoda dupatta va kanom Charu ma" Sivaangi panicked as she turned on her flash light.

When Sivaangi lifted her flash light up, she jumped on her spot on seeing her dupatta stuck on a figure's face. It took her couple of seconds to realize it was a guy standing because Raj was beside him.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Sivaangi walked towards them to grab her dupatta but when she was few metres away, light came back. The guy pulled the dupatta from his face and she paused on her tracks when she saw a familiar face, his face; Ashwin's face.

Sivaangi's breath hitched as she gasped, her lips parted, eyes wide and tears pooled her black orbs. Ashwin Kumar, her Ashwineyy was standing in front of her after all these years. Was she imagining? Was she dreaming?

Raj's friend Ashwin, who came to accompany his friend for the night pulled the dupatta from his face and looked at Raj.

'Dei machan, yenna ithu-" As he talked, Ashwin's eyes fell on the figure standing meters away from him making him dumbfounded. Was this her, standing there in front of him all these years? His breath hitched as he stared at her, his Sivu. It may have been years since they saw them. They have grown physically but they didn't fail to recognize each other.

"Machan, ithu avangalodathu da" Raj said taking the dupatta from Ashwin and moved to a stunned Sivaangi who's staring at Ashwin, "Sivaangi, indhanga"

When Raj didn't get any response from Sivaangi, he snapped his fingers in front of her grabbing her attention. She jerked and looked at Raj. Swallowing her tears, she took her dupatta and lowered her gaze, not meeting Ashwin's eyes while he wordlessly kept staring at her, trying to process the whole thing.

"Nee flash light kudukura kula current eh vandhruchu Rowdy, indha" Charu said thrusting flash light in Sivaangi's hand, "Thank you. Naanga veetuku porom. Good night Rowdy"

"Good night Sivaangi" Raj said with a smile.

Fighting her tears, Sivaangi lifted her gaze and nodded at them mumbling a good night. Her gaze fell on Ashwin who's still staring at her. Heaving a deep sigh, she averted her gaze and moved inside her apartment as Raj pulled Ashwin along with him.

Just as she closed her apartment door, Sivaangi leaned against it and broke into tears. She slid down to the floor and cried as she clutched her dupatta close to heart. To see Ashwin all these years, her uncontrollable desire to run towards him, bury herself into his embrace and cry killed her from within as she knows she has lost her right on him long ago. Heck, she wasn't even sure if she had any right at first place.

Burying her face into her palms, Sivaangi cried to herself as her heart grew heavy. Why among all other days her eyes fell on her diary today? Why when she was breaking thinking about him, he came in front of her? What game was fate playing with her?!

Was she sad seeing Ashwin after all these years? Was she happy? Was she overwhelmed? Sivaangi couldn't think. She couldn't process anything. She couldn't breathe. And so, she cried helplessly.

Half an hour later, Sivaangi sprawled across her couch as she stared out of the balcony door, blankly staring at the sky. Dried tear marks were visible on her cheek, her eyes puffed while she held the dupatta close to her.

Sivaangi broke out of her trance when she heard the doorbell. Her heart raced as her eyes went to the wall clock. It was 12:45 and she knew who would be there. Swallowing her tears, she heaved a deep sigh before standing up.

Making her mind to face him, Sivaangi walked towards the door. With trembling hand, she opened the door and found Ashwin with tears in his eyes. Her own tears which she held until now broke as she took in his red swollen eyes.

Ashwin opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He gulped helplessly as he cried more, his body shivered. He heaved a deep sigh before he asked in cracked voice,

"Was I not enough reason to stay, Sivu?"

Sivaangi didn't bother to wipe her tears as she stared at Ashwin. He lifted his hand hesitantly and wiped her tears making her cry more. She pushed his hand gently before looking up at him.

"I had to leave... enta irundhu unna kaapatha... enta irundhu ennayeh kapatha. I'm a mess Ashwin" Sivaangi cried as she hung her head.

"But you're my mess, Sivaangi. How can you make a decision on my behalf? You are my boon but If you think you are my doom then I don't want to be saved at all"

When Sivaangi looked up, her eyes met with Ashwin's teary one's making her take a sharp intake of breath. What she saw in his eyes startled her. Pain, longing, care, love... she gave up.

Sivaangi opened the door wider and moved aside. Ashwin stared at her for a brief moment before walking inside her apartment and she closed the door behind them.

~ * ~

Sivaangi cursed under her breath as she hurriedly stuffed her things inside her hand bag. Thanks to talking to Ashwin until 5:30 am, she's now late for office. When he came in last night, they kept staring at each other until he broke down and hugged her. Once initial crying, comforting passed, they both apologized to each other and spoke their heart out.

Ashwin, after Sivaangi left tried his best to search for her and was still doing until he met her last night. He joined engineering and after studies, joined a well reputed software company and working at Chennai. His relationship with Meera ended when he was doing first year college. Their relationship wasn't working with Ashwin lost all the time and Meera, well, she felt she was the only one in the relationship. They realized they were never meant to be and so, they parted their ways.

Sivaangi gulped a glass of juice, took her bag and closed her apartment. She has to reach office within an hour as she has an important meeting. She hurried towards the lift and only then remembered that lift wasn't working.

Sighing, Sivaangi hurried towards the staircase and paused on looking at the stairs. Her phobia kicked in and she frowned at the stairs. She's getting late but her fear put her on fix. She cursed herself in mind for choosing seventh floor apartment.

Sivaangi took a hesitant step forward but held the stair railing in panic. Her sleepless tired form making her fear resurface.

"Aiyo oru maadi padi eranga bayam nu veliya therincha asingama poerumey" Sivaangi mumbled to herself.

Her mobile rang making Sivaangi sigh. Her team member has been calling since last fifteen minutes. Pulling her courage, she hesitantly brought her leg forward but paused when she felt an arm wounding around her shoulder making her look up.

Ashwin held Sivaangi's shoulder as he smiled down at her and blinked his eyes. A smile crept on her lips as her eyes met with his.

"Inum bayama unaku" Ashwin chuckled earning a glare from Sivaangi, "Seri, seri. Moraikatha. Ena pidichuko Sivaangi ma"

"Venam venam, Ashwineyy. Vituta vilundhruven. Enaku inum bayam pogala" Sivaangi held the railing as she looked at Ashwin, her eyes reflected a tinge of fear. It wasn't just her fear of staircase she was talking about.

"Ena oruka nambi kai ah pidichu va di. Enn Sivu ah naan ini batharama iruki pidichupen. Epovum vila vida maten" Ashwin said with a soft smile as he tightened his grip on Sivaangi and extended his right hand in front of her.

Something in Ashwin's eyes spell bound Sivaangi that she placed her one hand on railing and another in his as she nodded at him. He smiled at her and clasped their hands together before taking her downstairs.

Ashwin and Sivaangi doesn't know where life would lead them now. They have friendship between them, yes, but the possibility of more than that, only time will answer.

Their meet was destined, fate separated them but they have met again as universe itself rewrote their fate. One lived with hope while other lived with belief and when there's hope and belief, magic would follow for sure.

THE END

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Hey guys, hope you all are doing good. I hope you enjoyed reading the story. This one's too long and I have narrated most parts yet many said they felt connected to this one. Thank you for your overwhelming response on the story. It means a lot to me.

How was the story? Bit dramatic towards the end? Sivu place la neenga irundha yenna panirupinga with Ash Meera relationship and towards the end? You all wanted a happy ending. I wasn't sure if they could have one and so, ended the story in open note.

Stream Adipoli and their songs whenever you could. Stay calm and don't engage in any conversation with strangers while defending Ashwin or Sivaangi, just report, block and move on. This too shall pass.

Take care of yourself everyone. Thank you for reading.

Nan ~