IMPORTANT NOTE FOR TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM ASHAANGIANS

(Don't skip. Chapter is below)

We all know what happened to AK. We all know why it happened. Ipo indha situation la epdi nadandhukanumo apdi nadandhukuvinga nu namburen. 

For Twitter people, nammaku namma hashtag precious dhan aana atha vida nammaku Ashwin and Sivaangi precious nu namburen.

Advice panren nu ila, enoda one big request, for a month or even two, please namma Hashtag use panathinga, Ashwin Sivaangi sendhu iruka pictures podathinga, purple hearts ah podathinga HT la. Intruders and media are looking out for content. Movie release agi verdict lam vandhu pogatum.

 Avangala neenga admire paniyoh appreciate pani podratho thappa picture panni what bond Ashwin and Sivaangi shares, atha asinga padutha neraya chances iruku. Sivaangi ah slut shame panranga. Ongaluku andha ponna pidikum na, mariyathai vachurukinga na, please yosichu panunga ethu naalum.

Ashwin has placed his feet in Cinema industry. Ini avaruku fame n support kuda hate um neraya irukum attention um neraya irukum. Avaruku vara hate Sivaangi ah affect pana kudathu, Sivaangi ku vara hate Ashwin ah affect pana kudathu.

Kastam ah dhan irukum aana avanga concern na avanga individual Hashtag matum use panunga.  Sivaangi ku Sivaangi Ashwin ku Ashwinkumar, Ashaangi include panathinga.

Ashaangi Hashtag ku koncham leave vidunga. This doesn't mean we have lost or its over for us. I still ship them but I respect them as humans first. Romba negativity spread avaguthu avanga rendu per kum. Athunala solren.

If they say they are friends, they are friends. Apdi avanga kula ethachum irundha avanga oru naal soluvanga (Just yesterday VK n Kat got married aana avanga pathi yarukum theriyathu because they want their privacy from media and people)

HT la potu dhan ship pananum nu ila. Groups la onga friends kuda pesikonga. Oru platform la open ah potinga na atha neraya per thappa aaka chance iruku. Even Ashwin and Sivaangi patha awkward aga chance athigam.

Ashwin post panratha Sivaangi kum Sivaangi post panratha Ashwin kum relate panathinga, paninga naalum tweet podathinga atha pathi. Ipolam enn avanga ona iruka mathiri endha pics, avanga meet up story vara matenthu na, athu credit goes to media and namma dhan. Dhamu appang function la meet pana video ah namma evlo edits potrupom. Oru oru vishayam um media namma ta irundhu content edukuranga. 

Namma group kula pesikurathu different, tweet or social media la open ah podrathu different. Let's give them privacy. Avangaluku ula sanda naalum ena ethu nu avanga dhan avanga kula sort panikanum. Avaru en ipdi panaru ava en ipdi panla nu kekathinga.

In this time Sivaangi ah Ashwin kuda irundhu pathuko nu vandha tweet athuvum avala tag pani vandhadhu lam romba thappu. Namma thangachi ta namma apdi soluvom ah. Namma elarum panrom nu solala, panravanga vendam nu solren.

En Sivaangi Ashwin ku support pani podala nu nenakathinga. Indha situation la pota thappagirum. Avaluku poda pidikala naalum ava decision ah respect panunga. MM Interview apo Sivaangi ku prachana vara apo enn Ashwin support ku varla nu yarum kekala, athayeh ipovum pana nala irukum.

For both twitter and instagram people, koncham nalaiku edits page oh fan pages oh private ah vachukonga. Neenga podra edits ah MCs thappa project pani video podranga.

Insta, Twitter, You Tube, engayum Ashwin pathi negative ah patha silent ah block panitu vandhrunga, sandai podathinga. Athe mathiri Ashwin ku supportive video pota like panitu share panitu vanga. Anga poe avara appreciate pani podathinga. Namma troll panatha pathu sirikala, general audience dhana pananga. That's for them. Anga poe sandai pota prachana perusu agirum. Over hype panathinga prachanaya.

Ithellam oru request ah kekuren. Avanga rendu per mukiyam. Mudincha panunga. And as for Fan Fictions, it is fiction. Always keep that in mind. Thank you.

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Disclaimer

This story is a piece of fiction based on the author's imagination and has nothing to do with the actual life of characters mentioned in the story. I've casted Ashwin Kumar and Sivaangi Krishnakumar as leads. Thank you.

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Ashaangi TS Heart's Musings 

Part Two

(Past)

Ashwin first met Meera during his fifth standard. She was not his first crush but one look at her and he felt his heart skip a beat. Of course, at that age it was nothing and she changed her school the very next year. But when she joined his school again after three years, he befriended her. They shared good friendship. He was pulled with thoughts of fate and destiny that his friends filled his ears under the influence of movies and dramas. He was just thirteen back then. So, he took a leap of faith and expressed his feelings to her.

Meera didn't accept it at first but when Ashwin had to leave from Coimbatore to Theni as his father got transferred to Trichy and he was left at outside hostel, she expressed that she missed him and accepted his feelings but as they were very young, they decided to keep it to themselves. It was just a commitment, not a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. She joined a residential school at Namakkal for ninth. They barely met but took time to meet whenever they could. When they entered eleventh grade, she was up for their relationship and so, they announced it to his friends.

It took everything in Sivaangi for her to behave normally with her friends who talk behind her back but be pleasant in front of her face. She didn't want to leave their gang as moving away from them would mean two things. First is she would just give more space for them to openly spit things at her face which both she and Ashwin doesn't want and second is she doesn't have heart to stay away from Ashwin.

What started as a plea from Sivaangi started to blur the lines between Ashwin and her. He was guilty big time for encouraging her and giving her hope but to shrug her away, hurt her and break her... he doesn't have it in him to do it.

Moreover, to see Sivaangi smile, to know that the twinkle in her eyes is because of him...Ashwin is no saint, he likes and takes pride that it's because of him. He was hesitant but she was just she, his Sivu. So, he let loose and went with flow and so, their equation evolved.

On some days Ashwin would question himself whether he really likes Sivaangi. Out of control, his heart goes to her instinctively that sometimes he wondered why he gave commitment to Meera. He loves her, yes, but sure things have changed. He loves her but he wasn't sure of the definition of love anymore.

Ashwin couldn't break free as well because he wouldn't do that to Meera and he couldn't and wouldn't love Sivaangi as well. For a sixteen-year-old, that's the best level of maturity he could show.

Sivaangi, on the other hand, loved Ashwin the same. May be even more than before although she knew she said she'll leave his life in a year. Whenever she mentions this, they end up arguing. She's an important part of Ashwin's life that he doesn't want her to leave but be friends.

But Sivaangi couldn't do that to herself. She doesn't want to get hurt. She doesn't want to suffocate herself on watching Ashwin with Meera or anyone else. She loves him way too much but she would rather live with his memories than stay by his side and die little by little.

Every month the gang meet up with Meera when she comes to Theni. Apart from Ashwin's relationship with her, she became good friends with his friends. Sivaangi would skip most of times. Their friends didn't reveal about her liking Ashwin to Meera and whenever she skips, they don't fail to back bitch her.

And when Sivaangi does come to meet up, she would just sit by Grace sipping her cool drink and try not to watch Ashwin and Meera sitting side by side. It broke her heart every single time when that happens. An unexplainable heart ache which she has to endure wordlessly because she doesn't have right to get hurt, to feel bad and so, she suffered in silence.

One of their friends Pari takes a strange pleasure in hurting Sivaangi. She would tease Ashwin and Meera wantedly and pull Sivaangi into that conversation. Ashwin refrains from anything that would hurt Sivaangi but Pari makes sure she's hurt.

And when it was just gang, Pari would keep mentioning about Meera and Ashwin just to see Sivaangi getting hurt. Although Sivaangi tries to mask it, she couldn't on most occasions. That became a content of ridicule for the bullies in name of her friends.

Sivaangi knew she had no right over Ashwin. She wasn't his girlfriend. She wasn't sure if she's just his friend and she wasn't sure if there's any tag that best describes their bond. She's by his beside and he by hers. But at times, she does break down to Ashwin.

On the night before Meera's birthday on a Saturday night, when Ashwin updated special status for her and kept her childhood pic as DP, Sivaangi knew she had no right to be upset, no right to feel broken but she did.

Ashwin, instead of spending his time talking with Meera ended up talking to Sivaangi the whole night, not giving false hope, not assuring her that he's by her side but explained his side and comforted her by the best way possible – he listened to her while she cried and vented out.

"Ithellam paathu aluga, kastam pada, unakaaga yenga, odanchu poga enaku endha urimai um ila. Unn pakathula iruka, unn kuda okara, unn tholula saaya unn kai ah pidika enaku urimai ila. Aana enoda kann la unakaga kadhal iruku. Dhurama irundhu kai ku ettadha nila mela aasai pattu kedaikala nu varutham irundhalum athoda poliva dhurathula irundhu pathutu nesichu vazhrathu enaku pothum"

Sivaangi told Ashwin that night and ended the call without another word. That night Ashwin didn't have a blink of sleep. He shivered under the intensity of her words and feelings. At one point he couldn't help but tremble thinking what he did to deserve her love.

There was only four months left for their board exam and school days to end. Ashwin and Sivaangi's equation evolved a little.

Ashwin kept his guilt on bay as he saw the way she kept degrading herself, feeling inferior and insecure. In that month for the first time when Sivaangi broke saying she's a bad person, a bad girl like her friends talk and portray, Ashwin said,

"It concerns us both. Unakaga naan iruken. Enakaaga nee. Sila vishayam Sivu, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. Seri, thappu, ithu rendukum nelai aana meaning ila. Namaku ethu seriyoh athu thappavey irundhalum athu seri dhan. Enaku thappa thonala. Unaku?"

She replied no in a heartbeat.

"Good. We have chosen our right then"

Two weeks later, on an inter school cultural event that lasted till 7 pm, Sivaangi stayed by Swetha, one of her classmates at the auditorium and watched all students dancing at one side and glared at Ashwin at other who's dancing with juniors who have bad reputation.

Their gang were dressed in colour dress as Ashwin, Rakshan and Pugazh performed group dance while Pari, Grace and Mani performed group dance save for Sivaangi who sang and now Sivaangi's watching everyone dancing off stage to songs playing for performance.

Their juniors eleventh batch is filled with brats. Sivaangi, she knows they drink and even though they aren't drunk now, she didn't want Ashwin to be dancing with them leading to staffs having bad impression of him after last time incident. A part of her was happy that he's dancing his heart out but not happy with those who are keeping his company.

When the event was over with dance events, it was dark and students started to scattered. Ashwin, Pugazh and Rakshan were hooting along with the boys as they moved out while Sivaangi, Pari, Manimegalai and Grace stood in a corner side of school lawn waiting for the boys by stone benches.

Sivaangi was siting on a stone bench with her bag beside her while rest three were sitting in one. When the boys came, Ashwin dumped his tired body on the stone bench where Sivaangi was and placed his head on her bag while Pugazh and Rakshan dumped themselves on the chair around that stone bench.

Pari, Mani and Grace pulled chairs and sat around too. The only source of light was a dim light that's few meters away and moon light. Sivaangi's heart flipped a beat when Ashwin dumped his tired body next to her, the heart radiating from his body warming her up.

Ashwin was sweaty and took deep breaths to catch up with his breathing. He knows Sivaangi's angry at him and smiled. While the rest indulged in conversation, taking advantage of the darkness, he tugged on Sivaangi's dupatta making her eyes grow wide.

On sensing Sivaangi making no movements, Ashwin grinned to himself and playfully tugged again but she, to show her anger, dumped her dupatta on his face. He was laughing to something Pugazh said and so, he wasn't expecting that and jerked a little. But realized couple of seconds later, grinned and pulled the dupatta to himself, hugging it.

Sivaangi gasped a little on seeing Ashwin's action, her heart racing. He was trying to apologize to her. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself composed. He, in the name of talking to Grace, spared a quick glance at her before smiling and wounding her dupatta around his neck as he spoke with their friends.

"Dei Ashwin! Yenna da ithu kaluthula? Lusu kalatu" Grace said while rest were listening to something Pugazh was saying.

Grace tried to remove the dupatta from Ashwin but Sivaangi was quick to react and placed her hand on Grace, stopping her.

"Yenna panra?" Sivaangi asked trying not to twist Grace's hand in anger. Why can't these people let them alone?

"Avan yetho kaluthula potrukan paru" Grace said but still Sivaangi held her hand. Ashwin sighed at the situation.

"Enoda akka oodathu Grace. Bag la irunchu" Ashwin said gently pushing both their hands and wrapped the dupatta around himself as he sat up.

They heard security shouting from far asking everyone to leave. When Ashwin was about to leave, he casually walked by Sivaangi and dropped her dupatta on her shoulder and walked ahead as if nothing happened making her smile. That night he heard an earful from her.

Another two weeks later, a trip to Ooty was announced for students of tenth, eleventh and twelfth for them to relax ahead of board exams. It was supposed to be Kodaikanal but seniors as in Ashwin and boys demanded Ooty as Kodai was just a day trip but Ooty was three days.

A total of three bus with each standard in a bus was booked. Ashwin and Sivaangi by now talks freely with each other, tease and borderline flirt. It just happened in flow. One moment they were pulling each other and the next moment they end up teasing each other leading to borderline flirting. But they kept themselves within their limits.

Their friends, on the other hand, they did speak behind their back. Ashwin couldn't shrug them off or defend Sivaangi. So, he just nodded his head to their words, spoke accordingly and kept mum. He didn't convey any of that to Sivaangi as he doesn't want her to be hurt. He convinced himself that he's just protecting her from hate.

Sivaangi broke out of her thoughts when she felt a tug in her hand. She turned towards Ashwin and noticed that he has his eyes closed but a playful smile was dancing on his lips.

Fighting the wide smile that's threatening to escape her lips, Sivaangi looked at Ashwin before averting her gaze. His smile made butterflies summersault in her stomach while a tingle of excitement shivered through her petite frame.

During one of their conversations regarding the trip, Sivaangi asked Ashwin to come sit by her and he promised that he would. She didn't think he would as he was sitting with Pugazh but he kept his promise and came to sit with her leaving Pugazh to sit with Pari while Mani sat with one of their classmates as Grace and Rakshan didn't come to tour.

Sivaangi turned, looked around before looking straight at Ashwin. They were seated at the very first double seat. As they were travelling at night, the weather was chill. She leaned back on the seat completely before leaning on him.

Ashwin's lips curled but he kept his eyes closed without making any move. Sivaangi poked his arm,

"Yenna panra, Ashwineyy?" Sivaangi whispered.

Ashwin was chewing a bubble gum with his eyes closed. He raised his single eyebrow at her as he looked down at her leaning on his arm.

"Kulu kulu nu iruku la" Sivaangi said as she wrapped her hands around Ashwin's bicep with a smile before adding, "Athan pidichuruken, kudatha yenna?"

Ashwin looked at Sivaangi in the darkness of the bus and just smiled, nodding his head while his eyes twinkled under the passing life in the road. That smile .... That smile took her breath away. His eyes and his smile, they both just takes her to a whole different world. Before she could come out of that trance, she felt him gently pushing her off him making her frown.

Before Sivaangi could say anything,

"Enaku window seat venum. Ingutu va" Ashwin leaned down and whispered against her ear making her heart skip a beat. His hot breath and base voice made her shudder and melt.

In a trance, Sivaangi stood up and Ashwin moved towards window. Wordlessly she sat down and stared front, not knowing what to say or how to react. Her heart was still racing and her body was tingling with excitement.

Ashwin placed his backpack on Sivaangi's lap pulling her out of trance. When she looked up at him, he gave her a wink before leaning down and placing his head on her lap. She froze for a moment, her breath hitched but her one hand instinctively held his head while the other wrapped around him for grip.

It took couple of minutes for Sivaangi to regain herself and when she did, she looked around first before smiling down at Ashwin as she caressed his locks softly. She randomly once said in a call that on the cultural day when she saw him dumping himself on the stone bench, she thought he was about to lay his head on her lap and Ashwin said he'll one day.

Sivaangi was cautious of people but it was already late and almost all are sleeping due to tiredness of singing and dancing. So, she relaxed and looked down at Ashwin.

Sivaangi could feel Ashwin's soft hot breath. He was so near, so within her reach and her heart raced with each passing second, filling her soul with nothing but pure bliss. At that very moment, all Sivaangi wanted to do is to imprint that moment in her heart, mind and soul. If she had power to freeze time, she would have. For someone who longed for care and attention throughout her life, his care, his love and his presence brought happiness she longed, prayed and wished for.

Ashwin sat up after few minutes. As he sat up from her lap, Sivaangi immediately missed the feeling of him on her, a tinge of emptiness crossing her heart. He asked her to change seats and went back to his same position.

Sivaangi again turned around and looked at him. Shaking her head on seeing him smiling widely, she leaned back on his arm.

"Enaku bore adikuthu, Ashwiney"

Ashwin looked down at her the darkness through the light emitting from the window of the moving bus. His brown orbs had a glint of excitement.

"Yenna panlam nu solunga madam. Paniruvom"

'Indha kulur ku katti anachukita nala dhan irukum' Sivaangi thought, shaking her head.

Sivaangi wanted to hug him tight, bury herself in his arms. placing herself against him and listen to his heartbeat, feel the way his heart beats under her fingers but she stopped herself from thinking further. She looked at him and blinked, pretending to have no clue.

Ashwin smiled and signalled Sivaangi with his eyes. She followed his gaze and found him extending his hand on the gap between them. Her lips curled into a smile. They had handshakes, pushed each other, dragged each other before but hand hold?

For the first time in her entire sixteen years, Sivaangi's going to live her most memorable moment - holding Ashwin's hand. Holding hands is something very beautiful, very filled with love and care and she holding his hand would mean everything in the world to her.

Sivaangi took a moment, looked around, making sure no one's watching and placed her left hand in his right ones. Ashwin laced their fingers together intertwining them, both their heart racing as they stared at each other. A song was playing at the background but they were too immersed in each other's eyes that they turned deaf to it.

En veral idukkula
Un veral kedakkanum
Nasungura alavukku irukki
Na pudikkanum
Naan kanna thorakkaiyil
Un mugam theriyanum
Usurulla varaikkumae
Unakkenna pudikkanum
Kadal alai pola unkaal thottu orasi
Kadal ulla poravan naan illa di
Kadal manna pola un kaaloda otti
Kara thaandum vara naan irupenadi

Sivaangi remember her father holding her hand, taking her along with him everywhere when she was young. That care and love ...That feeling can't be just defined and with holding his hand now, she felt the same care and love. She felt that undefined emotion at that moment, that's why it's her most memorable moment.

They both, leaning on their seat and resting their face facing each other, just stared at each other. A smile on his lips and her heart flipped a beat. She looked at him as if he's the most precious thing in world at that moment and in real, she felt he's indeed her secret treasure.

Ashwin squeezed their joined hands and tugged Sivaangi closer before leaning down to her ear.

"Onnu solata?" Ashwin whispered and she shivered slightly.

"Hmmm" Sivaangi hummed knowing what Ashwin will say. If he uses these words then he'll always say love you. Its unwritten thing between them.

With her heart racing and soul smiling Sivaangi looked up at Ashwin. And then he said,

"Love you" in his deep base voice with a soft smile

Sivaangi couldn't hide her smile as well. Her heart was going crazy. Her heart, mind, eyes and soul... an undefined happiness seeped through her. An undefined love. She has heard his love you a lot but this one sounded different... felt different.

"Ashwineyy" Sivaangi whispered, her breath hitched.

"Hmmm" Ashwin looked at Sivaangi with those same mesmerizing eyes.

"Onnu solata?" Sivaangi breathed her words and a grin plastered on Ashwin's face as he nodded.

Sivaangi moved closer to Ashwin a bit as they held their eyes in a lock.

"Love you"

Ashwin turned the other side as he blushed and smiled before turning back to look at Sivaangi. Holding her gaze, he tightened his grip on her hand, a smile on his lips and she fell in love with him all over again.

They couldn't hold hands for longer because of light but she held his arm and placed herself against his shoulders. He was tall and strong and she could feel all that. she didn't sleep that night at all, fearing that these moments would leave her when the day comes. Instead, she watched him sleep the rest of time.

When Ashwin woke up, Sivaangi closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. When he woke her up, saying they're about to reach, she just holds his arm tighter, saying she's sleepy.

Ashwin just smiled and ruffled Sivaangi's hair softly.

"Endhrichuko di chellamma" Ashwin coaxed Sivaangi to wake up.

With every inch of strength Sivaangi could gather, she moved away from Ashwin with a pout and sat up while he chuckled at her. He pinched her cheek but winced when she bit his finger and she chuckled at him.

And that's how Sivaangi lived the most memorable night of her life. Even though it's just for a limited period of time, that's what she would live with, that's what her soul would remember forever and when time comes, she would leave him without turning back.

Sivaangi know they were never meant to be. She knows she have hurt Ashwin lot of times. She knows she don't deserve him .... But this lost soul has loved him, a little too much.

They say feelings makes you weak and it does make her weak for a particular time but she's stronger now even if she has to leave him. She would face herself for him. She can overcome her pain and leave him for good because she knows even distance can't change what she feels for Ashwin.

Meeting you was my destiny which even my fate can't rewrite.

Sivaangi once wrote this quote for Ashwin. Destiny made them meet. Fate will tear them apart but one truth will remain the same.

Sivaangi loves Ashwin.

She did, she does and a part of her would always do no matter where life takes them.

(Story continues)

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Hey guys, elarum epdi irukinga? Are you guys okay? I was supposed to update the next part on Audio launch day. It was supposed to be our happy day aana prachana things la, I was very down. I know most of you would be in the same state. Cheer up and chin up, Ashwin Kumar will get through this for himself and for us. All is well.

I hope you enjoyed reading the chapter. What do you guys think about the story? What do you think about Ashwin and Sivaangi in this one? Do let me know.

Thank you Nishu_3 for the beautiful book cover. Loved it. Lots of love to you.

Will post the last chapter soon. Thank you for your response on the story.

Thank you for reading.

Nan ~