I had found an abandoned house after a long flight. I had made refuge there for the night and slept in a little for the morning. I remained an owl to be undetected until I awoke.

I sat on the couch and stared out the dusty window. Multiple tears fell and holding them back was almost impossible.

I didn't know what had done. Shelly was a close friend of mine, she was my only friend. Now, she was sending James to an orphanage where I wouldn't be allowed to get close to. I was now seen as dangerous and disgraceful amongst all of New York, most likely the entire works.

The work to build my status was even more now that Shelly had a new opinion of me. She was bound to convince James while she was at it.

I leant my elbows upon my knees as I pressed my forehead into my palms. My life was far different on earth than it was on Asgard. If only Loki hadn't of controlled my mind, I would've been fine. None of the chaos would've happened.

I couldn't change it though. Everything had been done. There was no if only, or what ifs. I just had to prove myself harder now. How I was going to do that, I didn't know. I just knew it would happen one day or another. Whether that was I sacrificed my life to save the world or saved many people. Whatever it was, I was going to do it.

I knew one thing though. I wasn't going back to Asgard just to hide away again. I was going to face everything on earth.

I sat in deep thought, running over all the possibly ways I could approach this catastrophe. I thought about doing a public speech again, but I felt I could do better. However, after hours of thought and pacing and gradually getting hungrier, I had no more plans.

Where I was supposed to get food from to fuel my brain, I didn't know. In fact, I dismissed my hunger and ignored the pain in my stomach. No one would be willing enough to share their food with someone like me, and I was certain that I didn't want to just take it from strangers.

I actually didn't even feel pike eating for the next fee days. I slept to try and escape the problems I was facing, only to wake up hungry and thirsty, but felt like doing neither.

I stayed within that abandoned house for a week, scared of the world. I knew I was a coward, but it was incredibly hard to stay strong in a time when everyone in the world literally hated you, like you were some monster and murderer. Not that they were wrong when at one point I was being controlled by the mind. But after that I was not, and how did it not get around that I was controlled by Loki and couldn't change my actions? Why couldn't everyone see that?

Second of all, my family disowned me and that was the worst part of it all. The entire world could hate me, all but my family. I relied on their trust and I had broken that and shattered their hearts. They were the only ones who believed me. Now Shelly had called me a witch, a fraud, and harshest of all, a monster. I said that one word to Loki and I knew it was harsh, but I completely understood how he felt.

He was misunderstood by everyone around him, and now matter how hard you tried to gain someone's attention or trust and loyalty, it was always misdirected for sick acts of a mad person. However, I had done wrong things that I would never do. I wouldn't kill an innocent person, but I had done that many times over, under the influence of Loki's mind control.

The difference between Loki and I was that he misused the need for attention. He thought he would have to do it in a harsh way just to gain something that wouldn't happen in the way he wanted it.

Although I had noticed Loki was off. When I faced him in his cell, he didn't seem so hungry and blind to what he had done. He seemed less insane and more himself. Though he was in a cell where he couldn't do anything in the first place, but he just seemed less like he was going to go on another rampage.

I couldn't confirm any of my thoughts though. Loki was Loki, and that was a tough thing. There was definitely something more to Loki's behaviour than just wanting a throne.

I hadn't known how Loki entered my mind yet again. I was going to forget about him and act like he doesn't exist, because he basically doesn't anymore. Yet I can't help but wander to think about him.

Everything had piled up. I let a few tears escape and roll down my cheeks before they fell to the ground, meeting the wooden floor and stirring the blanket of dust. Whenever I walked in that place, my feet would cause the dust to swirl in the air, and the more that happened, the more stuffy the air got. I coughed often and felt like I was going to die at occasions. I sometimes had to stand outside just to catch a breath of fresh air.

I had decided that I wasn't getting absolutely anywhere by hiding away in the abandoned house. I rose to my feet, feeling a little uneasy, but I pushed on and marched out of the rotting from door.

I shape shifted into a falcon and headed for where I thought was the direction of the city. When I saw the tall buildings in the distance, I knew I was heading in the right direction.

I observed the view as I realised I had flown quite far outwards that night I came back to earth. The house Shelly and James were staying at was far out as it was.

My muscles were weak and I staggered in the air. The world was a little blurry and my wing muscles were beginning to burn, but I pushed on.

I finally reached Central Park where I his behind a tree and shape shifted back into my Aesir form. I stepped out from behind the trunk and made my way towards the fountain. I walked down the stairs before crossing the pavement to stand on the edge of the fountain.

I gained a few people's attention even before I stood upon the fountain.

My mind was a little dizzy and the sound of the water splashing made my mouth feel drier than the desert.

I swallowed and ensured I had a steady and clear voice for enough people to hear. 'I know you may not have wanted to see me again.' I paused and held a hand to my head. It began to spin, but I forced more words. 'But I came here to say...' My breathing hitched and I began to shake. 'To say, that what I did, with the destruction of family's and New York's City, was not me. I'm sure you know that Loki controlled people's minds, and I fell victim of that and killed innocent people which I would never do.' Sweat was beaded on my forehead and palms. 'I hope...' I took a breath, trying to ease the dizziness. 'I hope that you all can...' The world was spinning. 'Can see...' I trailed off and tried to step down. I reached out for anything near me. My body fell and hit the pavement. Darkness overtook me.

__________________________

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

A continuous rhythmic beeping sounded to my left. The air was could and fresh.

Low whispers sounded further to my left. 'I don't want to deal with her, she's a monster.' There was a pause as though someone had said something in reply. 'Who cares if she said those things? How can we trust what she says? I know you're trying to find glimmers of hope that its okay, but if she's awake, how can we know she won't try to kill us.'

I had opened my eyes and saw that I was a white room, full of machines and a TV. The voices came from the door on my left where two women in blue shirt and long pant uniforms stood.

They both looked towards me and jumped a little. Fear was clear on their faces as they both exchanged glances and had a mental debate between the two before the right woman with straight brunette hair cautiously approached me.

I spoke first since she wasn't going to. 'Where am I? What happened?'

The woman frowned. 'You're in a hospitality.' She took the opportunity to say something nasty. 'A place where many people died and suffered the injuries that you placed upon them. And second of all, you pulled a great act of dehydration and malnourishment.'

I raised my eyebrows in shock from both her accusation and the reasons I was in the hospital.

I understood she was angered, but everyone was taking it too far. 'Please understand me. I didn't-

'Don't try and make another useless speech. I won't fall for it, because you were a monster. Once a monster, always a monster.' She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Now as my job I am meant to check up on you. You are awake now and I can infirm you that you may be able to leave the hospital in a few days since you are both dehydrated and malnourished. Now, my job is done here, time to leave.'

She turned without another word and left the room. I brought my hand to my eyes and cried my heart out. As she had said, it was clear no one would believe me. The speeches I tried to make were a waste if breath. It hurt deeply.

I heard a voice. 'Citizens believe a murderer of innocent people had faked her fall for attention as a trap, while others believe that her words were the same falsifications.'

I quickly dried my eyes and looked at the TV on the wall. There was a shirt video of me giving my speech and falling. Residents explaining to the woman that 'it was all fake'. 'She will never be forgiven and will remain who she is, a murderer.' 'She's a horrible person. I don't even know how she's not in prison yet.'

That was the last of the residents words and the news reporter moved onto a different topic. I had thought to myself that the last resident made a fair point. Wouldn't I be in jail for killing all those innocent people? Maybe they just didn't know what to do in such a situation where they didn't have full evidence that I was mind controlled.

Either way the video where I fell was shocking. I hit the ground quite harshly and my head started to throb as I saw the fall.

I wasn't taking it anymore. I couldn't let myself lay in a hospital bed and let people step all over me. I couldn't let Shelly think of me as she had. I didn't care how much it took, I was going to let Shelly know first before anyone, that I wasn't who she though I was.

I let the next few days heal my body as the nurses had informed. They checked up on me and gave me my clothes to change into to go home since it was after midday. When I had, I exited the hospital and was flooded with cameras. People kept their distance but questions had been thrown at me from all directions.

'Was your words in your speech fake?' 'Did you faint to make people have sympathy for you?' 'Why are you doing all of this?' 'Do you think people could ever forgive you?' 'Residents think you should be in jail, why do you think you aren't yet?'

I shape shifted into a falcon again and zipped into air as cameras flashed and snapped behind me. I beat my wings as hard as I could to reach Shelly quicker. It was difficult to fly over without using roads as my guidelines, but when I saw the dirt driveway, I followed it and ended up at the front of the house.

I shifted into my true form and raced to the front door. I knocked on the hard wood and breathed heavily. I heard the handle twist and the door open just a fraction.

Shelly peeked out and rolled her eyes. She shut the door instantly.

I whimpered. 'Shelly please just listen to me!'

I heard her angry voice from behind the door. 'I don't want to hear a word from you!'

I furrowed my brows. 'I understand and I know you don't want to see me, but Shelly you need to know that everything has been so crazy and I have made grave mistakes. I was in Asgard and regretted not saying goodbye. I was beating myself up, and still do, about it. I am ashamed for not doing that when I very well know it could've been the last time I saw my family.' I took a deep breath, hoping it would sink in. 'I know I lost your trust and I can understand that too, but I need you to know that I can't lose my family. I've been a coward and was hiding out. I've been disgraceful and horrible. I've been foolish, evil, cruel.' Tears were rolling aggressively down my cheeks. 'I've been a monster.' I knew that word would change Shelly's mind a little.

The door slowly opened and I hazed upon watery eyes. Shelly was crying and I knew I had really hurt her.

I sniffled. 'I know I've deeply hurt you, and I don't know how to regain your trust, but I can't lose another family to something so horrible as this.'

Shelly seemed as though she was having an internal battle.

I looked away. 'I promise that I'll never leave without saying a word, and I promise to not hurt you and James again.'

'Well about that, James isn't here anymore.' She looked up at me. 'He's at an orphanage and I think its best that he doesn't go through these sort of things.'

I nodded in agreement. 'I guess so. I only presume that him being around me will be a bad idea. People of the public probably would fight and argue to have him away from "a murderer".'

Shelly opened the door fully and pulled me in for a very gentle hug. 'Just don't expect things to be as they were before. Over time it could, but not soon.'

We broke our hug and wiped our eyes. 'I understand.'

I had gotten somewhere. Shelly was the first and only person I every really needed to accept me.

She invited me in and we had dinner. I updated her on absolutely everything that happened from Asgard, so it was a long discussion over dinner and desert. I was grateful that my planning of words and the scenarios that I played in my mind had turned out to be similar.

When we headed to be, I was glad to be in a comfortable home and to have everything of mine untouched and just as the way it was when I left. Sleep overtook me as everything caused me fatigue.