Was I so desperate for satisfaction that I would sleep with this broken version of the man I loved? How could I trust myself? How would I know it wasn't just my coping mechanism tricking me into falling back into old habits? 

Glancing at my watch, we only had a few short hours left before it would be time for the shift. Cas would be brought down here, chained up, and preparations would be made. What if we got caught? "Don't go back on a promise like that..." he pulls me out of my musings, slipping his thigh between my legs to brush against me as he catches my gaze with his own. "You really are loyal, aren't you."

"You realize you're encouraging me to cheat on yourself, right?" I mumble, pushing his shirt up to attack his chest. My warm tongue against his chilled skin causes him to gasp, catching his lower lip in his teeth as he shudders under my fingers. The raw enthusiasm of youth made me shudder, I'd never been with a younger man, and by the time I'd gotten to Randy he'd been around the block and back again. 

While I was the first man he'd been with, I appreciated all the years of experience. 

Now I was dealing with a hormonal body, close to going through a supernatural change and overcharged with the full moon, quivering under my fingertips with anticipation. Chuckling, I trace my tongue over his nipple, grabbing one of his thighs to seat over my hip. While he was a lot taller than me, this could work. He couldn't hide from me, he'd be completely at my mercy. My wolf rejoiced, I struggled to keep a clear head. 

"I'm a real bitch like that." he manages, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth to stifle any encouragement. 

"You sure did switch fast for a man who was so against anything 'gay' when I met you." Both times I'd met him, he wanted me as far away from him as possible. 

Flinching, he glances down at me as I grind my hips against him, his free hand knotting in my hair with a firm tug. "This feels different than it's ever felt. It's instinct, I just trust you." Embarrassed, he sighs, rolling his eyes as I sink my teeth into his pectoral. "Gods you're driving me insane."

I knew him too well. I knew how much he liked pain. "You like it rough," I respond shortly, shoving my hips against him as he stifles a sound. Painfully hard against my pants, I grab his wrist, taking his hand to plunge it between us. "Don't just sit there. Do something." I growl, receiving a flustered look in response as he fumbles with the zipper of my pants. 

"Do you know what I really like?" 

I stretch on my tiptoes to kiss his neck, sinking my teeth into his collarbone. My wolf was on pins and needles, dominant gone wild, as if the moon had an effect on me too. He smelled different, Alpha was rising to the surface as he growls low in his throat. The taste of his blood on my tongue, the way he responded each time my teeth plunged into him. "The way I feel against you?" I manage an airy gasp as he slides his cool hand up and down my length. 

"Don't kill my hard-on with talk like that. I'm not your girlfriend." He grits his teeth as I run my tongue over the bite mark. Hesitant for a moment, he swirls his thumb around the tip of my manhood. I curse under my breath, in a sharp move, I break away from him, pulling him roughly to his knees in a way that crushes his cheek against my groin. I expect him to fight, but his lips immediately part as those large clear eyes look up at me. 

I fist my hand in his hair, shoving my cock into his mouth with a low moan. It was different with him, the air was that of someone who wanted to be dominated, a part of him that wished to be had. I remember him telling me that at one point, he was introduced to the lifestyle and found his salvation through it. 

I rock my hips against him, cursing at the feel of his tongue on me, shuddering at the intensity with which he sucks as if his only goal was to please me. Pinned between me and the cage, he was at my mercy. I release him, I can't lose myself yet, I wasn't nearly done with him. As I hover over him, he pants, red-cheeked as he watches me from his position at my feet. "I like when you treat me like I deserve it."

Blinking, I'm taken aback. "Deserve what?"

Running his tongue over his upper lip, he straightens to grab my hips. "Everything. Your torment. Your pleasure. Take it out on me, I want to feel something. Anything. Pain is how I do that, define my worth by how my body serves you." He brushes his lips over my length and I stop, panting as I watch him. 

He was me. 

I did what I had to to survive, but this version of him was a sharp reminder of what I looked like when I was in school. While we used our abilities in different ways, we were cut from the same cloth. Verando was intelligent, he knew his looks could get him what he needed in life if he allowed it to happen. Treated like crap by his father, and allowing others to do it and sexualizing it lessened the blow of total emotional decimation every time the man came around. 

It was all about control. 

Was he truly here with me, or was he putting on an act? He was too good, how could I know? It was so easy to get lost with him, to forget this was a person before me, to use him based on how he responded so perfectly to every touch I offered him. I knew this because I'd done the same dance with him when we first met. 

"You knew me so well... right when we met because you'd done the same thing your whole life..." I chuckle, shaking my head in disbelief. Randy tilts his head, curious as he rocks back onto his heels, kneeling before me. He had stopped, in this exact moment with me, and demanded of me to tell him what I wanted. 

"Not what I expected you to say, I'll give you that." He mutters, disappointed as he glances towards the ground. My wolf surges past me and I'm on the ground with him, between his legs as I shove him back against the cage and my hands rest on either side of his head. Wide-eyed, he watches me, and I crush my lips against his in a slow kiss. As if I could somehow read his intentions through such a gesture. 

"I love you so much." I respond before I can stop myself, once more I'm kissing him, his hands grip my shirt as he pulls me into him and I slide him to the cool concrete floor. Hovering over top of him, I deepen the kiss, supporting myself with my hands as Randy wraps one of his arms around my neck. "I'm just trying to figure out if I'm going to become another person who's fallen for this persona you put up."

With a sad laugh, he breaks the kiss to breathe as I move to his neck once more. "Don't tell me that, baby, because we both know it ain't true. Not right now at least. Do you know how many people say they love me?" Rolling his hips against mine, I use my thighs to spread his legs and pin him beneath me. "I'm here, I want you, isn't that good enough? Why does everything have to mean something?"

Everything did mean something to him, perhaps he was just sick of thinking it did and being proven wrong. 

I clutch his face in one hand, before capturing his hand and pinning it over his head. "Everything I do with you means something to me. In this time or the one before. Damn.. we're going to have a conversation about this and you're going to be so upset with yourself." I can't help but giggle as I brush my nose against his. 

"Talk dirty to me." He rolls his eyes as I fumble with his pants. In an act of defiance, he pushes me off of him, rolling so he was straddling my hips. "Pretty sure you're not the one on top in this relationship, sweetheart."

"I am when I'm the more experienced," I respond, flipping us once more, flinching when he grunts as he hits the ground. Wincing up at me, I kiss his cheek apologetically. 

"Alright.. maybe you have a point there. Or I have a concussion. I admit, despite your constant talking, this is pretty hot." Reaching over his head, I hook his hand into one of the clamped chains on the floor. Randy shudders at the cool concrete, I struggle not to check on him as my wolf switches into overdrive. I wanted him, desperately, opportunistic creature that I was. This Randy was so much more submissive, it drove my Alpha side to practically out-of-control proportions. 

Sliding down his body, I shove his pants up his thighs, leaving them around his knees as I push his legs up. Collecting his lower body in my arms, I lift him just as Verando often did to me, putting him in an exposed position as I attack his entrance with my mouth. Randy's body trembles, fighting against the one chain as he squirms and writhes. "What're you doing?!" He demands. 

I can't help but smirk, the poor unknowledgeable youth. I could tell by the raging erection that he wanted me just as I wanted him, using my tongue to prepare him was my best gauge of his real interest in such an act. Surely he could only perform for so long, yet judging by the way he arched and writhed, I was in awe of just how much my version held back. 

Verandow as the picture of control, yet broken Randy could hardly contain himself. 

"You're going to have to be quieter." I challenge, taking his length in my fist as I slowly move my hand.

Putting his free hand over his mouth, he meets my gaze and I smirk down at him. "You really are something, you like to watch. Look how hard you are, I didn't realize you were such a pervert." Shivering, he moans as I plunge a finger into him. Who was I? When did our roles reverse? I was imitating my warlord and I was thriving in the role. "It's like it's not enough. You act like you've done this before." 

Shaking his head, he grips the chain, I can't tell if he's trying to get away or just trying to respond. I hold him tighter to me, meeting his gaze as I move my fingers. Running my tongue up his thigh, I sink my teeth in the junction below his knee. 

"Ah!" he manages, tilting his head back as he fights to stay quiet. I press my cheek to his calf, placing it on my shoulder as I lower his hips to rest against my waist. A panting, sweating mess beneath me, I was completely taken by him, and yet, my mind kept going back to how it felt like the ultimate betrayal. 

My wolf gives me the nod from the back of my mind, that this was the strongest way to create a bond with Alpha on the other side. I couldn't force him to love me in this short amount of time, but I could tap into his instincts and create a bond with a creature that had chosen me time and again. Alpha was my friend even when Verando wasn't. 

"Please don't stop." He begs, shivering from the cold and from desperation. I press my lips to his calf, grazing the skin with my teeth. He was riddled with bite marks, Verando had been so gentle with me when we first met, I'm hardly able to keep from devouring him. I force a small smile and see the glimpse of humanity there. "Hey. It's alright."

"Is it?" I manage, "Because I feel like I'm admitting my husband is dead, even if you're right here in front of me. This is just making me realize that... I'm not going to make it without you." I whisper, shaking my head in disappointment with myself. "I'm not this guy... I'm not a dominant.. I'm copying you and you're so... damned gorgeous.. and I'm not even able to enjoy it because this isn't me."

Taking a slow breath, he watches me, waiting for me to breathe evenly. "You sure know how to kill a mood."

"You're such an asshole." I manage with a heavy sob, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. "How am I going to do this? How am I going to help you if you're possessed by Fenrir? How am I supposed to save you and Xaiver?"

I see it as I say the words, my warlord had begun on the path of righteousness. Watching me with those intense eyes, he pulls his lips into a thin line. "You don't. You take me out and you save that kid."

"Randy-"

Pinned by the chain, he can't move, yet I feel the weight of his gaze as if he were inches from my face. "I'm telling you it's going to be ok, Nic. Put me where you need to, do what you must, that kid is our priority. If there's anything I've learned from my time here, it's that... we... love those children. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him.. not then.. and not now. I'm begging you. If it comes down to it, you don't hesitate."

Leaning over him, I brace myself on my hands as I kiss him, brushing my nose against his. 

"You won't." He reassures me. 

"Now you sound like my warlord," I murmur, kissing him once more. "You're going to be such a good dad. Those kids love you so much, and you're funny.. and charming." I sniffle with another muffled sob. "You're selfless and brooding, you love a good english tea and you have absolutely no patience for small talk." I want to tell him everything, I want to make my pitch to the life he would lead if he could just make it back to me. 

Kissing him again, he chases my lips and I slide into him. The intensity is just as it was, nearly pushing me over the edge immediately. Gasping, he curses under his breath and I sink my teeth into the crook of his neck. "Go slow or you're going to finish instantly," he warns me.  "I don't want to make fun of you."

"You already did," I mutter, taking his advice as I fill him. His body is tense, I'm not sure I'm any better at it this time around. 

"Are you a virgin?" He manages as I fill him once more, shutting his eyes tightly as he tilts his head back. I pinch one of his nipples, rolling it between my thumb and index finger as I kiss his cneck up to his ear. 

"You've let me do it once before." I retort, moaning low in my breath and he curses in response. 

"Keep doing that." He pleads, relaxing as I moan his name. "Don't get so quiet, let me hear you."

I leave his nipple in favor of his length, stroking slowly, twisting my hand as it moves up and down. Verando liked foreplay, I shouldn't imagine this one was any different. "Like that?" I murmur, shivering at the intensity. He felt so good, my body was ignited and it took everything in me to keep my pace so deliberately slow. 

"Mmm." He manages, contorted in discomfort and foreign pleasure. I knew it well, "I could make some recommendations."

I shove into him, making him cry out as he arches off the concrete. "You talk too much." I insist, I wanted to hear him, see him writhe beneath me. I wanted to know what it would look like, so that when it happened again, I would be able to insight the same response out of my version. Randy was so much more open, so much more willing to tell me what he needed. "You're taking it like you like it. Maybe you aren't a dominant after all."

Rolling my hips against him, I feel my body threatening to betray me. I was getting close, I grab his free hand, spreading his fingers apart so that he could feel me using him while I entangle my own fingers in his trapped hand. "You're mine." I growl, hearing the low rumble in response as his body starts to climb. 

Crying out, it's a more desperate sound than I'd ever heard him make. "Ah! Please, I can't bear it!" He begs, shaking, trembling beneath me as I find his sweet spot, focusing on the place that makes him gasp and plead for me. 

"Come for me," I demand, moaning against his neck as I struggle to ward off my completion. Randy shakes his head defiantly. 

"I won't. Not for a man." he spits back, panting, breathless as I ravish him. 

"You will." I snarl, ceasing my assault on his manhood as I grip his face, thrusting into him to my entirety as he meets my gaze. "You belong to me." I thrust into him again, gasping along with him as I crush my lips to his, invading his mouth with my tongue. "Your completion belongs to me. Your ecstasy belongs to me." I fill him, over and over, holding his gaze with my own. "When I call you, you will come."

"Nic." He whimpers, red-faced, hair matted with sweat, body trembling. "I'm so close."

So was I, it was an act of pure refusal that I'd lasted this long. "Finish. Or you can let the entire family see what a shameless whore you are." I retort, he cries out as he finishes, sending me over the edge with his body reacting to mine. I finish right behind him, panting heavily, face buried in his neck as I listen to him ride it out. 

What seems like an eternity passes, with us both desperate to catch our breath. I kiss him once more, withdrawing to pull my pants up just in case someone came to investigate what had to have sounded like wild animals fornicating. Pulling out my phone, I snap a quick picture of the exposed man lying in a heap before me. 

"What was that?"

"Insurance," I smirk. 

"Oh, fuck you...." He rolls his eyes heavily, flinching as he yanks his pants back up. "You really are a manipulative little shit." 

Shrugging, I chain his other wrist in quick work before helping him to finish fastening his pants. "With an hour to spare."

"You need to check on Cas, it should be starting soon, it'll be hard to move him once it begins."

Bending once more, I kiss him again, helping him sit up. There was just enough room to stand, but not enough to get much motion beyond that with the way his wrists were bound. "It's going to be alright." I wasn't sure if I was trying to reassure him or myself. Cas enters the bar, storming into his cage to slam the door behind him. 

"Maybe the next time you two decide to fuck, consider who might be listening. "