Just as I did in June I sit in the conference room, my parents and grandfather sitting in front of me. Grandmother was preoccupied with her women's group and unable to attend today's meeting. 

I'm almost glad about her absence. She makes me soft and vulnerable. I don't have room for that, not around my parents, not around anyone. Anyone but her.

My mother folds her hands and rests them on the table. Her hair is the same as mine, a golden blonde that falls to her waist, but the color grey seeping through her roots is undeniable.

Bobby and I were the only ones to receive our mother's hair. Marcus, Sloan, and David got our father's black locks instead. Juliet has brown hair, no one knows why, and after she turned four no one bothered to care.

"Emmalyne," my mother says. Her voice is sweet and calm. "As you know, your trail drew to an end yesterday. The Court spent all of last night coming to our final decision."

I wait for the devastating blow. I know my fate, but they aren't aware of that. I paint a face of innocence and intrigue as my mother rubs her thumb against her forefinger.

"The Court has deemed both Sir Gregory and Sir Johnathan fit for your hand in marriage." My mother finishes quickly.

As I nod my parents' exchange glances, wondering why I haven't blown up and demanded Logan be my husband. I'm still going to blow up, I'm just trying a different angle today.

"Could you please explain why Sir Logan was deemed unfit?" I question keeping my face placid and unreadable.

They all still look confused and are unable to come up with an answer quick enough, but I don't give them much time. But then against, that was the point.

"Is your reason that Logan is not well connected? He doesn't benefit the family in any way if we marry. Is that the reason?" My voice is eerily calm as I speak to them.

"Uh-uh no." My grandfather stumbles over his words. "That is not the full- well that's not entirely the reason. I uh- We-"

I hold my hand up to silence him. "Or is it the fact that his parents cut hair to make a living? Could you just not imagine dirtying the lineage with a commoner? Need I remind you where you came from, Mother?"

"Absolutely not!" My father growls. He lays a protective hand over my mother's tightly clasped fingers.

I don't listen. "The daughter of one of the lowest government official in the poorest region on Legibus. Only considered for the trial after her mother begged on her knees. Only accepted for exceptional, fleeting, beauty. A visit to Mrs. Ryans' salon might do you some good.

I know I jabbed my mother in a sore spot. If I have to learn my place, I shall remind her of where her's is.

"You are aware that this decision is final." My grandfather states. "There will be no changing our minds."

"Oh, I know," I say my voice going soft once more. I pretend to examine my nails before speaking once more. "I just want you to think about a life that you could have made better and actively chose to make it worse."

Without waiting to be excused I push away from the table. The life I was talking about was Logan's, but I very well could have meant mine.

As I step into the tele-lift I turn back to face my parents. My father has his arm around my mother, she's looking down at her lap and he is consoling her softly.

I hope I made her cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's all I can do to keep my hands from shaking as I rap my fingers against the door to Logan's room. It's in the north wing and in the guest corridor. For three excruciating seconds, I stand alone in the hallway before a servant opens the door. 

Bowing immediately the servant opens the door wider. "Princess, we were not expecting you."

"It's not a problem," I reply walking past the servant. "Sir Logan is here, correct?" 

"Yes, Your Highness. He's just inside."

I open my door to the bedroom on my own and step inside. The first thing I notice is how much smaller it is than my own chamber. There is no fireplace or study. The bed is pushed into a corner, although something tells me that was Logan's doing. 

On one there is a small area of the wall there are photos pinned to the wall. I look around for Logan and assume he must be in the bathroom. I walk closer to the pictures and my eyes find a photo of Logan, Gregory, and John sitting in the palace library drinking tea. 

Logon is even wearing a bonnet, I haven't a clue where he found it. I haven't worn a bonnet since I was eight. He holds a small china teacup in the air with his pinkie pointed towards the sky.

I laugh out loud at the other's expressions. Gregory's head is thrown back and John is smiling at them with what was calculated bemusement. Giggling I run my fingers over Logan's face which holds the expression of a sassy toddler.

I hear the door to the restroom and turn around my smile wide. "When did you take this?" 

Logan stops short upon seeing me and his eyes widen slightly. "Oh, now I'm embarrassed. Bonnet Logan is strictly only to be seen at tea parties."

"That's so funny," I chuckle turning back to look back at the photo. "I haven't been to the library in years."

Logan shoves his hands in his pocket and gives a sheepish shrug. "The guys and I always took lunch together, we usually eat in the gardens but it was raining so we had to eat inside."

"That sounds fun," I say. "It must have been boring this whole time, I'm glad you and the others were able to become friends."

Logan sighs the same time I do. A pregnant pause filling the air.

"I know why you're here," Logan says at last. "The trial's over."

Nodding I guide him to the two armchairs in the opposite corner of his room. We sit down and a sudden bout of fear comes over me.

"I just came from a meeting with the Elders," I force out. "They informed me of the decision they made." 

Logan nods and looks down at his lap. "It's not me, is it?"

I squeeze my lips together to stop my shaky breath from escaping. The disappointment in his voice was so genuine. 

How could they do this to him?

"I'm so sorry," I say, barely keeping my voice even. "If it were up to me-"

"Emmalyne, stop," Logan commands looking up at me. Tears swim in his eyes and I can see him chewing the inside of his cheek. "It's not up to you. The Court said no. That's that. I tried but in the end, I wasn't good enough."

"You are more than enough!" I snap. "The Court is blind! I wanted to marry you. If you take anything away from this you need to know that the princess wanted to marry you. The future queen wanted you to be her king. I wanted you. You were good enough for me."

"Thank you, Emmalyne," Logan whispers. My words did nothing for him, but he thanks me nonetheless. "When do I need to leave by?"

"Servants will be by tomorrow to help you move your things back home," I tell him. I stand and start for the door. "It was a privilege knowing you."

I stick my hand out to shake his, but changing my mind I sweep my right food behind my left and lower my head. Bending my knees I fall into a low curtsy.

As I rise Logan looks surprised. I see him go to bow but I shake my head. "Don't."

Logan holds the door open for me. "It was an honor, Emmalyne."

Squeezing my eyes shut I nod. "Goodbye, Logan."

"Goodbye. Your Highness."

The door to the corridor shut behind me. Collapsing against and nearby wall I look up at the ceiling. "How fucking dare they?"

My chest heaves as I even my breathing. The sound of his voice will haunt me forever. Never have I heard someone sound so broken. 

We could have been happy. I know that, and Logan knows that. Damn the Court for taking that away from us. Damn them all. Especially my brother. 

Damn him most of all. 

Pushing myself away from the wall I smooth my navy blue suit back into place and straighten my black tie against my neck. My hair is straight as an arrow and is pulled back. I can't afford to look or feel anything but power today. I don't have the strength. 

As I walk down the empty halls my mind juggles my options. Gregory was my safety net, and I have a guess his mother will use his status to lift herself up. That woman is a snake, this place has enough of those as-is. 

I guess my only choice is to marry John. 

It could be worse. But it could be better. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John was ecstatic when I told him. He was so happy he even asked to hug me, and as his future wife who was I but to indulge him. 

After dealing with Logan and John both I had no energy to go dismiss Gregory. I sent a guard in my place. 

Climbing the final steps to the children's tower the only thing I can think of is my desire for a hot bath. But fate would seem to have other plans.

Bobby stands in front of my bedroom door when he hears me coming he looks up. Gasping audibly I step back. My fist did a number on his face. His left eye is a deep purple color and swollen to where he can only open it a slit. 

He tracks me with his eyes as I stop in front of him. I stand away from him in case he says something that might get him punched again. "Move, Bobby."

He answers by shaking his head. 

"If you've come looking for an apology you're not getting one." I snap crossing my arms across my chest."

"I'm not looking for an apology,' Bobby shrugs.

"Excellent!" I beam. "Move." 

He shakes his head again.

My patience is thin and my temper short. I refuse to waste what little of my manners are left, on this man.

"Do you want to be blind in both eyes?" I demand. "Get out of my fucking way."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't punch me," Bobby says calmly. 

"Well, you're not making a very good case for yourself." I chuckle darkly. "I had to send Logan home today because of you. Don't test me right now Bobby."

"I'm sorry," Bobby concedes. "I came to apologize for what I did to Logan." 

"You're sorry?" I question hysterically. He nods. "Well 'I'm sorry' isn't good enough! It's too little too late, you asshole."

"Emmalyne please be rational," He's speaking to me like I'm a child. If anyone is the childish one here it is him. "If I could take is back I would-"

"Well, you can't!" I shout cutting across him. "You made a decision, the damage is done and now you have to live with that!"

"I messed up!" Bobby cries his voice growing desperate. "I messed up terribly."

"No shit, Bobby!" I cry out. "Are you just figuring this out? Or is this somehow new information to you?"

My chest heaving I stare my brother down. It matters not that he's taller than me, and that he has been for many years, he leans against my door like an abused child. Looking down at his feet he refuses to make eye contact with me. 

Pathetic. 

"Forgive me."

The sheer audacity. Who does he think he is to ask me for forgiveness. I spent six years begging him to love me again after I was given the crown. Six years! 

Yet, Bobby expects me to forgive him within a day. 

I think not.

"Get out of my house."

Bobby's eyes snap up. "What?"

"Get out," I repeat. "Leave! You're twenty-almost twenty-one, mother and father can't provide for you anymore. Take your inheritance and get out of my palace."

"Your palace?" Bobby questions. "I am still a prince of Legibus. The eldest son of Joshua the Good. You have no right to order me from my home!"

"You can't pull rank with me," I sneer. "I am the crown princess of this Kingdom. I am to be your Queen!"

My voice echos thought the tower and something shifts in Bobby's eyes. My arms quake with rage as I take one threatening step towards him. 

"Leave now or my first official act will be putting you on the first train to the Exile."

At those words Bobby studders and makes a vague motion towards his chamber. "But my stuff..."

Fast as lighting I am toe to toe with him. My finger in his face nearly jabbing his eye out. "Either you're gone by next Friday or I will banish you." 

There is no lie in my face or bluff in my words. I mean everything I say, down to the last syllable. 

Frozen Bobby nods, by his feet seem to have fused with the floor and he doesn't move.

"Get out of my sight," I sneer. 

Tripping out himself Bobby shuffles to his room like the pathetic coward he is. 

Once he's gone I take a deep breath and lay my hands on the back of my neck in an attempt to cool the agitated skin. 

I lost my temper. I know that. But at least it was here and not in public. No one saw. No know will ever know.

Turning my head to the left and right I come to the realization that people did see. Marcus and Sloan both stand in their doorways only half their bodies visible. 

For a moment their poked out heads just stare at each other, then they look at me. I wait for one of them to speak, they say nothing. Then in a silent conversation, their eyes flick back to the other and they close their doors. Drawing themselves inside their rooms I am left truly alone. 

I always knew being Queen was going to be hard. But I never could have anticipated losing my siblings in the process. 

Go figure.