The diner was busy, even for a Friday. Pippa was largely ignoring her tables while Cassie redoubled her efforts to pick up the slack. She was suffering a bit from cold and fever, but only dared cough when she was off the main floor, away from customers in the back. It never failed, Cassie often came down with something when stress was high, and mid-terms was definitely one of those times. Still, she couldn't afford to miss her shifts. Run off her feet, Cassie sat for a few minutes at the table in the corner of the kitchen that staff could use when having a break, just to catch her breath. Wordlessly, Luke set a plate of roast chicken and vegetables in front of her and a large orange juice. She gave him a weak smile, unable to keep up her cheerful appearance when not around the customers, then began to eat. Cassie would only be able to take a few mouthfuls of food before she had to go back out to check her tables. Pippa couldn't be counted on to keep Cassie's patrons happy and she needed those tips. Cassie knew Luke needed them, too.

After the first day studying together, Cassie actually joined Luke in the library more than a few times. He was usually at the same spot, and the rest of the table remained empty unless Cassie claimed the other seat. Luke didn't mind. He thought he would, but she didn't press him for conversation, content to work in peace. She also brought food. After the first day of sharing her sandwich, on days Cassie intended to study, she always brought extra to make sure that Luke had something more to eat, too. He never mentioned it, but he always ate whatever was offered, and in his quiet way, she knew he was thankful.

Luke had taken to returning the favour by making Cassie special food when they were working together. The first time after their strained conversation in the car, he'd made sautéed onions for her burger and she'd eaten them all, happily. He had a knack for picking foods that suited Cassie's moods and he liked doing it. Tonight it was obvious she wasn't feeling well, so he prepared the closest thing to homemade chicken soup he could. It was a kind gesture that Cassie acknowledged by eating his offerings, the same as he did for her. Luke had just put down a second plate—his own, but returned to the fryer to lift the basket and prepare an order of fries.

Cassie's brief respite was broken by the kitchen door being swung open in a fury. "I can't do everything myself, unless you want me to take all your tips." Pippa's ponytail flicked in annoyance as she cracked her gum.

"Sorry, Pippa. I'm on it." Cassie wearily rose from her seat, plastered a smile on, and went back out front to deal with her tables.

"Really, Luke? Roast chicken? Where's mine?" Pippa's hands rested on her hips, her foot tapping angrily. Luke realized Pippa was mostly upset that Cassie was getting his attention.

"Want some?" Luke offered Pippa his plate stocked with the same meal as Cassie's.

"No, I want a burger. Make me one?" Although she phrased her request like a question, he knew better. Leaving his food, Luke returned to the grill.

Pippa moved swiftly behind Luke, leaning against the prep station, watching him work. "So, one of these days are you going to show me just how much of a man you are?" Luke ignored her taunt and continued to work the flat-top. "I know you like what you see. Maybe you'd like to see more?"

Turning to face Pippa, Luke leaned in close, too close really, reached above her and grabbed a plate. If Pippa moved even a fraction, she could have fully pressed up against Luke. He hoped to unnerve her.

It didn't work.

"Ohhh, a tease." Pippa grinned. "Mark my words, Luke, you won't be able to resist me forever."

To be honest, Luke did find Pippa arousing, but not the slightest bit to his taste. He knew she was trouble and he had spent far too much time avoiding those kind of problems to become embroiled in something now. Instead he plated her burger and shoved it towards her, then went back to his chicken, sad that Cassie's was getting cold.

Luke knew women intimately. It was hard going through the foster system without learning a thing or two about the female form, and a few males, too--attentions wanted or unwanted. Kids in his situation often sought out inappropriate and tumultuous relationships young, looking for acceptance and love. But sex wasn't love; Luke learned that the hard way and had the scars to prove it. After an exceptionally difficult experience when he was seventeen, he eschewed romantic relationships entirely—they only caused pain.

An hour later, the number of customers dwindled and Pippa clocked out. Pippa seldom worked the last shift because she had far more exciting things to do and hated spending the late evening hours working when she could be partying. Tossing her apron under the counter at the cash register, she pocketed a wad of bills after peeling off a few.

"Here Lukey, tips." She thrust her hand into the front pocket of Luke's pants, depositing the bills in her hand. "Oh, and this." She took his hand in hers, turned it palm up and dropped a warm clinking pile of coins on to it.

Luke controlled a growl rising in his throat, he hated that Pippa made him feel cheap, but he needed the cash no matter how it was delivered. Cassie cringed while observing the exchange, just as she had several times before. She tried confronting Pippa about it a few weeks ago but Pippa just laughed and said Luke expected it, it was their 'thing.' Cassie could see Luke was uncomfortable, and she realized that Luke only put up with Pippa for the same reason she did, he needed the money and Pippa came with the job.

After Pippa left, the diner slowly emptied until there were no customers left a full half hour before closing. Cassie was feeling somewhat better and she was sure it was because of Luke's carefully chosen meal. He brought her a steaming mug of chamomile tea. On a whim, she broke the silence. "Thank you for the chicken and veggies. I think they helped, I'm feeling much better." Her voice sounded funny to her, echoing in the empty room. She blew, self consciously, on her cup of tea to cool it.

"I'm glad. Sorry you didn't get to eat it when it was hot."

"That's okay." She shrugged. "Part of the job."

Cassie looked towards Luke and their eyes locked for a second. He noticed that her eyes had flecks of gold in them that matched her hair. He shook his head to clear it and got back to cleaning the grill; Cassie filled the napkin holders while sipping her beverage.

After she handed him his portion of the tips in her customary envelope, she asked, "Can I give you a ride? It looks like there's frost."

Luke was sorely tempted to say no, but the cold was something he really detested. He'd spent far too much time in his life being cold. "Thanks."

Cassie smiled at his acceptance, "I'll just go and warm up the car."

The roads were slippery with a thin sheen of ice and Cassie drove with extreme caution. She couldn't afford to damage her car and the balding tires made maneuvering difficult. Luke could see her hands gripping the wheel tightly, stressed, and he felt bad for adding to the length of her drive.

"I can walk if you want," he offered.

"No you can't," she eyed his clothes; jeans and a hoodie were inadequate for the freezing weather, "but could you just talk to me to keep me calm?" Cassie asked. She knew he didn't like to talk, but the roads were making her exceedingly nervous and she needed distraction. He nodded and thought for a second.

"So, chemistry, huh?" Luke asked. He had no clue what to say.

"Uh, yeah." Cassie supposed he has seen her books when they studied.

"Why?"

"I want to help people, develop medicines and cures. Make people better."

"Noble."

"Why psychology?" she asked, remembering the giant book he was reading.

"Social work, actually. Psychology is just one of the required courses."

"Oh. Why social work?" Cassie was surprised, Pippa's information had actually been correct.

"I want to help people, keep kids out of bad situations, make things better."

His answer mimicked hers and she thought he might be teasing, so she tried to tease him back, "Noble."

He smiled, happy that she'd caught his joke. He looked at her, but her eyes were fixed on the road ahead, still worried, her brows furrowed. He went back to talking, for her, "Not really, more like self-serving. I want to keep kids from having the childhood I had. Protect them." Luke was surprised by the admission. Something about Cassie made him say things he never talked about. Although the government was paying his way through school, as they did for all wards of the court, he never brought up how he was raised. To anyone.

Cassie knew well enough not to probe Luke about his upbringing. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, so she let the comment pass without questioning, although the questions were there. "That still sounds pretty noble to me, brave in fact," she responded quietly, truthfully.

The back end of the car fishtailed slightly as Cassie rounded a corner. She was driving slowly, so it was easily corrected, but she was still thrown. He could see that her anxiety was growing.

"Take a deep breath, Cassie, you're doing well." Luke realized that the longer she had to drive the more apprehensive she became. "Remind me to walk next time."

"No Luke, this isn't your fault. I was supposed to get new tires, or at least used ones, but I had to spend the money on an alternator instead."

"Why do you have a car if you can't afford it?" He hoped his question didn't come off as rude. It sounded harsher than he meant.

"I can't have school without the job, and I can't have a job without the car. I can't walk home from the diner at one am by myself. Plus it's my grandma's and she gave it to me, so I'd feel guilty if I got rid of it."

"Fair enough. I wouldn't want you walking home, either. Where do you live?"

"I have an apartment over by the Snappy Convenience in one of those old walk-ups." Not too far from campus, but on the other side of the school from the diner, and a good 10 minute drive from his room. Not great for driving in this weather, especially since she wasn't at all confident on the slippery roads.

"Roommate?" he asked.

"No, it's a one bedroom."

"Where does your family live?" Cassie was unsure where the questions were going, but Luke wasn't one for frivolous words, so she answered.

"A small farming town about two and a half hours from here."

"Oh." Luke was worried, but said evenly, "You need to call me then, when you get home. To make sure you're okay."

"It's not necessary. I'm sure I'll be fine," Cassie said, not too convincingly, as she skidded up to the curb outside Luke's place of residence.

"Call anyway. But don't rush." Luke grabbed a pen from the console and wrote the number for the payphone in the hall outside his room on a piece of paper he tore from the tips envelope. Handing her the paper, their fingers brushed for a second and Luke started from the contact. He quickly climbed out of her car and slammed the door behind him, careful not to slip on the slick walkway to the front door. He stood at the entrance and watched Cassie cautiously drive away.

Twenty-five minutes later, Luke was pacing the dingy hall outside his room. The trip, even with the weather shouldn't have taken so long. He was chiding himself for not getting her number to call in case she'd forgotten, berating himself for worrying, angry with himself for caring. This was not in his plan, she was not an option for him, and he was definitely not getting attached, involved, or in any sort of complication, no matter how nice she was. He was not a nice boy and did not have a nice life. Finally the phone rang and Luke was flooded with anger, relief, and embarrassment. How could he be so worked up over someone he barely knew? After this call, he would avoid her, he didn't need this kind of trouble.

"Hello?" he barked into the phone.

"Luke?" Cassie said tentatively, softly, unsure of the angry voice at the other end.

"Yes." His voice was calmer, but still tight.

"I made it home okay," she offered.

"Good."

"Good night Luke, and thanks."

"Good night Cassie, thank you."

Cassie listened as Luke hung up the phone and sighed. She was sure he was angry with her, but not sure why. Either way, his many acts of kindness earlier had been touching—the food and talking in the car. He had to know she would never breathe a word of his confidences to anyone, besides who would she tell? The people in her program were mostly students with enough money and a secure enough upbringing that Cassie couldn't relate. That's not to say there was anything wrong with her parents, they loved her very much, but they didn't really understand her need for higher education. They both lived simply in the same town they'd been born in, and had never really gone anywhere. Mr. Martin worked at the job he'd had since high school until the dairy closed last year, and Mrs. Martin worked in the local high school in the cafeteria. Cassie's success in school had been a pleasant surprise for them and they supported her as best they could, but they didn't really get it. After Cassie's father got laid off in her second year of university, Cassie's grandmother moved in with them, effectively taking Cassie's room, further highlighting her separation from her family. She loved them, but home wasn't home anymore, and the small town a few hours away was stifling.

.......................

The next few weeks were strange. Cassie could feel Luke pull away, even though there hadn't really been a closeness per se. He still acknowledged her presence in the library at what she'd come to think of as their table, but what little conversation they had ended. When they worked together, he still made her a meal, but didn't eat with her, nor did he accept her offers for a drive home. She didn't say anything, just treated him the same as normal, but it did bother her after the closeness they'd shared.

Luke on the other hand was bothered all the time. He wanted to be rude to Cassie, he wanted to push her away, he really wanted not to care, but he did and it irked him. He longed to touch her again, even for a second, to feel that spark, that vibrancy, that current of life well through him. Although he was driven in his classes and worked hard at his job, Luke was going through the motions of having a life without really having one. He was experienced, far too experienced for his 22 years, but he craved a different kind of experience, even if he tried to keep that want hidden. Far too many times he'd worn his heart on his sleeve when he was young and it only resulted in heartache. Cassie had cracked his carefully cultivated shell and it pestered him. She pestered him simply by her presence, but he couldn't say anything, couldn't be purposely mean—it would be too cruel and she didn't deserve it.

Cassie couldn't afford to go home over Christmas. The car repairs depleted her funds for a bus ticket, the bald tires made the drive too treacherous, and besides, she could pick up extra shifts, even if the diner wasn't too busy. To save money, Cassie had taken to walking everywhere except when she had the late shift, and one day on her way to school, she passed a craft sale where elderly ladies were hocking all manner of knitted goods. The weather had turned and more often than not, the frost was staying, so Cassie purchased a woollen hat and scarf. On a whim, she also got a hat for Luke. The lady who sold it to her reminded Cassie of her grandmother and when she told her so, the lady gave her a good deal. "I'm sure you know someone who could use this," she'd said. "Please take it." Her paper thin hands pressed the cap into Cassie's hands. Cassie wasn't sure Luke would accept it, but she knew it was needed, especially when he walked home after work.

On Christmas Eve, Cassie handed the hat to Luke wordlessly, his tip envelope inside. She was already wearing her coat and hat, and was out the door before Luke could refuse. Staring down at the present in his hands, Luke could feel his chest tighten and he closed his eyes. This wouldn't do, wouldn't do at all. But he still put the hat on and wore it home, after closing up, warmer than his usual trek.

......................

Christmas Day was depressing for Cassie. She opened the presents her family had sent, then called them to wish them well. She attended a church service just to pass some time, then returned back to her mostly vacant student building to read a novel and watch something online as a distraction from her thoughts.

Luke had somewhere to go at Christmas—not family, but the most stable person in his life for the past 18 years, his caseworker, Bryan's house. Bryan and his partner, Steve, lived in a better part of town, and had no children of their own but the ones Bryan had through work. On Christmas day Bryan and Steve did an open house inviting any or all of the kids Bryan worked with over the years. Luke had gone every year since he turned 18 and aged out of the system. Until then holidays had been somber affairs at the various group homes and foster families' houses where he resided. Luke hadn't seen his own mother, except in passing once or twice, since he was 15 and she'd been sentenced to her most recent stint in prison. Petty theft, prostitution and drugs peppered her arrest reports, finally ending her attempts to regain custody. Sadly, it was those attempts at custody that made for such a tumultuous upbringing for Luke. 

 The first foster home had been heaven—a family who wanted him, loving, caring, stable, and willing to adopt after Luke had been with them for six months. As a six year old, their house seemed like a miracle; clean clothes, a bed of his own, food to eat, hugs. Luke loved them. There were no drunken boyfriends, no bugs, no screaming, no painful punishments, no drugged out adults forgetting he was home alone. But when his foster family tried to adopt, his mom refused to give up parental rights, still hoping to regain custody; Luke was moved so that he wouldn't become too attached to the best home he'd ever known, the family he couldn't have but desperately craved. Bryan was just as heartbroken as Luke, and had cried when he had to remove him from the caring home and take him to another foster home across town. Bryan was the one Luke called when the second home withheld food, when the third home punished even minor transgressions with a closed fist, and so on.

Luke took the bus across the city, passing neighbourhoods he'd lived in and ones he hadn't, until his stop in a fairly middle class area near the edge of the city. He knew his appearance in this suburb would attract unwanted attention, so he took long quick strides across the lawn and up to the door. The neighbours wouldn't mind seeing him at Bryan and Steve's place because Steve was a cop.

"Luke!" Bryan embraced him at the door and led him into the house, arm still slung over his shoulder. "Look who the cat dragged in, Steve!"

"Hey Luke! How's everything?" Steve shook his hand firmly.

"Okay." Luke gave a shrug.

"No date?" Bryan asked.

"No," Luke answered a bit too harshly.

"Ahh, but there's someone in the running," Steve raised his eyebrows. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"No one." Luke's face flamed, "She's no one."

"Everyone is someone," Bryan scolded warmly, "including you. Now let's sit down and have a visit."

They talked for hours, Bryan and Steve's being one of the only places Luke felt comfortable. There was no need for pretense here, they knew his story and accepted him as he was. Luke was forever grateful for Bryan's presence in his life and he was one of the reasons Luke even considered going into social work. Other former foster kids came and went throughout the day, a few with families of their own, but Luke stayed the longest and helped clean up afterwards. While they were doing dishes, Bryan broached the subject of Luke's mystery girl again.

"You can't cut people from your life because you're afraid of caring, Luke. And you can't always control who you care about, either."

"I just don't know," Luke passed Bryan a plate.

"Well, if I didn't care, I'd be a terrible social worker. It's one of my biggest strengths, but also one of my biggest weaknesses. I have to care—who'd take care of my kids if I didn't? I just have to be prepared to be hurt sometimes, too. The same with Steve. He sees a lot of bad stuff on the job, but he has to care to be effective."

"There's a big difference, I'll care about those kids."

"No, there really isn't, there's no question you'll care about the kids, but" Bryan said with a sigh, trying to make him understand, "you have great gifts within you and you need to share them with someone besides the kids you'll be working with. You can be their support, but you need someone for you, too. I love my job, but without the love and support of Steve, I would have burned out a long time ago."

"Maybe," Luke remembered the sadness in Bryan before Steve came along. Bryan and Steve had met on a call, and it took months before Bryan would accept a date with the other man.

"Look, I'm not saying this girl is your one true love or anything like that, but for you to even let her in enough to consider her, she has to be pretty special. Don't cut her out before you even give her a chance."

Luke hung his head guiltily, "You know me too well."

"No, I was you, remember? It took me a long time to let Steve in and I could have saved myself a world of trouble if I opened myself up a little earlier on," Bryan insisted gently.

"I'm not promising anything, but I'll consider what you're saying," Luke gave Bryan a guarded smile.

"That's all I can ask for," Bryan threw his arm over Luke's shoulder for a bit of a hug, something he felt Luke was strongly lacking. "Does this mystery girl have a name?"

"Uhh, Cassie, she's just...just someone I work with," Luke mumbled, studying the floor.

.......................

Luke considered Bryan's advice for awhile. He wasn't one to act rashly, it was one of his strengths. He considered the advice when he watched Cassie serve coffee. He considered the advice when she came to the window to pick up her orders. He considered the advice when she came into the kitchen to eat her meal.

"What's with Luke?" Pippa asked the night before New Year's Eve. She was back in town for a shift, then parties tomorrow.

"I don't know what you mean. He seems the same as always," Cassie responded with a level voice. She'd actually noticed a change, too, but didn't want to mention it in case she was wrong. She thought she could feel his eyes on her more than normal—not that it was unwanted.

"No, he's not. I can't place my finger on it, but I think he's staring over here. I'm going to find out." Before Cassie could argue, Pippa was off on a mission.

Pippa marched over to the pick up window swaying her hips in a seductive manner. "Hi Lukey," she purred, "how were your holidays?"

"Fine, yours?"

"Oh, you know, always a party in the Brookmeyer household. Mom got drunk, Dad screwed his mistress—you know how it is," Pippa said flippantly with a wave of her hand. "How about you? Parents treat you well? Santa brought the requisite piercing? Get laid?"

Cassie could hear Pippa's side of the conversation and was appalled. She knew Pippa was just joking around, but didn't she realize that not everyone's life was so cut and dried? Parents? Presents? A home? All things Pippa took for granted and threw in Luke's face.

"I said it was fine," Luke scowled and placed an order of fries with gravy at the window.

"Hmm, so you didn't get laid?" Pippa continued.

"No." Luke said flatly.

"Want to?" Pippa batted her eyelashes.

Cassie came to the window to get the order for her table and to save Luke from Pippa's harassment. She could tell he was uncomfortable from across the room. "Seriously Pippa, leave him alone. Maybe you're not his type."

"Honey, I'm everybody's type," Pippa said with a laugh, "Unless of course you're gay, Luke." Pippa walked her fingers across the shelf of the window towards Luke.

"Not gay, Pippa, just not interested." Luke turned away, disgusted by Pippa's callousness.

Sure enough when Pippa left at the end of her shift, she insisted on stuffing his share of her tips into his pocket again, and again, shorting him by at least five dollars. Five dollars was nothing to her, but to him it was a meal or part of his rent, and he hated that she made him feel dirty to get it. He wished he could tell her to fuck off or go away, but because he needed the money, he let her put her hand in his pocket. It was revolting, really. It revolted him, cheapened him, made him feel like a piece of trash.

He was still thinking about Pippa when Cassie was ready to leave for the night. Cassie had finished clearing and cleaning, had prepared Luke's envelope and wound her scarf around herself to ward off the late December chill when he came out front. He thought she looked really cute in her red peacoat with her grey woollen scarf and hat, and was almost thinking he could act on Bryan's advice. Almost. But Pippa had reminded him of who he really was and what he was worth--nothing.

"All set, Cassie?"

"Yes Luke. Here's your envelope."

"Thanks Cassie," Luke said, wishing she'd offer him a drive, but too proud to ask.

"Good night Luke." Cassie was happy that he was wearing the hat she got him. It was a start.