You heard the Queen's words in your head through the rest of the night and the following day. The only thing that brought and end to their fallout was the return of an older, more vehement fight.

Another mater of the heart and soul left you with an unavoidable opportunity for war. You forgot all about how you wanted to have been the one to say what Her Majesty did to that man, the more you realised you didn't want a hand in it at all, not in that, or any of this, especially not the loss that was coming for Ciel.

It wasn't one you wanted any part in. Even though you waited and left with them together, they couldn't remain that way. One way or another, Ciel had to give up what he'd promised long ago. Now that the battle was over, and he won, it wasn't worth celebrating.

It was a Pyrrhic victory. It could never have been anything else.

You hated it. You hated it so much, and you hated it even more when you realised you'd been saying it to yourself, too, whenever you could, about Ciel. His promise.

I'm sorry it had to be this way. Did it, though? Did anything ever have to be any way? That's what you stood for, the belief that it was never too late to change, to do what was right. Still, that was your way of thinking, and after the previous night, you had to remind yourself that while you'd opt for redemption, not everyone would feel the same. Some would chose to go out the way they'd planned, and that was their choice to make. You were powerless to stop it, and you had to respect that.

They didn't say anything about it when you met back up with them. You remembered what you'd wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come them, what you wanted to express, to tell Ciel that he was like family, and you loved him, like the brother you never had.

If you reminded him of his mother, and you had loved the only protector he'd had recently, the one thing you'd never be able to admit was running through your mind, your wildest, most erroneous hope was that it might be possible for none of this to end badly.

Maybe you could be a family. All of you. No one could question your station if you wanted to do as you pleased, marry or well, whatever the end result was of what you'd done already with who you wanted, and he'd been with the Phantomhives for so long, none of them would want him gone. The three of you could be as normal as you could, and you could find him what he needed, too. You could be content with that life, one with who you guessed would be your husband, and/or Ciel's older sibling, not a father for sure, and it was certain that neither of you would want to throw around the term 'daddy' lightly, ever. You'd sooner start wearing a locket with a photo of the Marquis de Sade as your patron saint than use that as a term of familiarity, let alone endearment, and while he wouldn't admonish it to the same degree, Ciel wouldn't like the idea either. No. None of that. Still, you could find Sebastian other souls to eat. You knew where to go. It was like you were born for it! Criminals like the kind you literally came from would be the sort to satiate whatever his 'highly refined tastes' were, and you knew those most recent in their denunciation were the best sort to make deals with. They'd probably be the most appetising, too, since they'd be so confusing, stewing in their own juices, you wouldn't need to do that much, right? You could make it work! It could theoretically be possible. Of course, that would require a miracle, and it sure seemed like you'd been given more than your fair share of those recently already. It seemed like wishful thinking. An incredible, unrealistic dream. A fantasy, one that had a small chance of happening, if any chance at all.

No. Not a chance. It was absolutely insane. You knew it was.

You thought you'd have more time. You wanted to remind Ciel he mattered, to make him feel at least some semblance of love, or hope, before it all ended, as much as people like you could know, but you had forgotten your differences were greater than you'd thought.

Love, and hope had run out for most of those in your company, and your hope had just about been killed as well. It was a frail thing, to keep being faithful, but to actually destroy all semblance of such feelings, for you, was an arduous task; it was hard to kill your love, and those around you, human or not, knew it, even if you didn't see it.

The day was short, as most of them had been since that fateful day in the woods. Winter had lasted for seven years, it seemed, summer was there for others, but as you rested on the edge of their golden world, your people had been swept away in the darkness. Happy to be done with the matter of the previous night, the Phantomhive household lazily carried on, an those employed completed tasks halfheartedly, paying little attention to their master, as he required less service than usual. They were happy for some time to themselves. Relaxing wasn't a typical luxury in their work.

Ciel's family, his fiancé and aunt had gone back to their home as well, to permit him ample space to process what'd happened, so he could truly rise to his proper place, and take over for his father. You'd be in good company, and needed for the time being, in helping Her Majesty's confidant, her Guard Dog, as he'd guarded you like an angel, as Lizzie had said; she'd urged you to call her that, instead of Elizabeth. You wanted to be good friends, but you couldn't bear to be around her when she doted on the love of her life, talking about family, their future together, as you knew it wasn't ever going to happen.

You hated knowing the truth. What everyone else would find out later, a tragedy for them, was dramatically ironic for you.

You wondered what'd become of you after he left. Would you leave? Would you stay? Would any of the people around you take you on as Ciel had done? You wanted to believe they'd be kind, but you doubted anyone would owe you like Ciel had. There was more than one reason you'd remained with him.

You knew what truly made him powerful, and it was about to capitalise on that strength. All the things he'd done, all that he'd accomplished, created, with the help of his servant would be taken away, as he offered up his soul.

You worried for your sake, after this, if you'd be forgotten entirely. You hoped more than anything else that some good could come of it, but the last words out of the mouth of someone you'd never be able to stop caring for didn't help at all. They confused and irritated you more than not. What did they mean?

I'm sorry.

Helpful. Truly. What was he sorry for, exactly?

"Sebastian." You'd been sitting in a chair, one which stood alone in the west wing of the estate, gazing into the setting sun, wanting once more to sail away across the sea, like your family had done before. A new life would be preferable to the uncertainty you'd leave behind. It wasn't the positive kind. You turned at the sound of Ciel's voice, as he called for his butler.

An immediate, more eager than usual response came from an unseen location as Ciel trekked into the room. He stopped as you turned to look at him. You had your legs tucked under you, holding them in place, resting an arm across them, the other gripped the side of the chair. He smiled as Sebastian shortly followed, and they both stood before you.

"Good evening." You nodded, nodding, trying your best not to glare. "I hear it's supposed to be warm out tonight." You turned to glance back out of the window, as most of the light was gone.

Sebastian laughed. "Fascinating." His smile fell as he looked at you. Your anger was apparent, obvious even, despite your attempts to hide it. Ciel saw it too. "My Lord," he rarely called Ciel young anymore. He wasn't a little boy now, after all. He'd truly taken on the image of his father, right before it was stripped away. What a tragedy. This was all so sad. "I trust you've said farewell to the Midfords, to the servants."

Ciel shrugged. "Yesterday's goodbyes sufficed. They'd find it suspicious for me to say anything more now, without explanation." He glanced back down at you. "I don't want anyone to take the blame for my choices and their outcomes." He meant you. You could theoretically be connected to what Sebastian would do, Ciel's death, and to ensure your protection, he'd take steps to prevent that, but you didn't realise that then, what it entailed, who'd stay with you.

It was fortunate that he'd set up his precautions for afterwards. You'd probably be against most of them if you'd been informed of all of his plans then and there. "Fair enough." Sebastian crossed his arms informally, before regaining his former professionalism. His aesthetics had waxed and waned, even though he'd wanted more than anything to uphold them. It worried him that he'd been less than perfect in that regard. Demons, though you found this stupid for lack of a better term, were fearful of breaking their aesthetics. Like it mattered. It was all a lie anyway. "We should leave by midnight."

"As planned. Have you arranged a coach or do you wish to just go on foot?"

"It's up to you, My Lord." He bowed his head, and you shuddered. "Meet me where we discussed when you've finished here. I'll escort you promptly."

"Wait, what?" You broke in as he left. "Sebastian! Wait!" He didn't stop. "Where are you going?" You didn't see him shut his eyes, questioning himself, remembering not to hesitate as he walked away without responding at all. Ciel stopped you from saying anything else. He knelt down.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way." He hated saying it too, unless it was to you. You felt the same way.

"So am I." You untucked your legs, leaning down, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You mean a great deal to me, Ciel." You smiled as he placed one of his hands on yours, closing his eyes. He hadn't worn that eyepatch the entire evening, once he'd gotten away from the servants. He wanted you to see. He wanted Sebastian to see. This was the choice he made. He didn't regret it.

He opened his eyes, smiling softly. It had become more commonplace for him to do that genuinely, despite everything that'd happened. It seemed counterintuitive, though it made sense to you. You both were contrarians. Perhaps even on a grander scale, on a cosmic level. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so upset then. "I told you once before, the morning after what happened to you." You inhaled, sharply. He never knew what'd occurred between you and the demon he'd dealt with. He never would. No one knew except you and Sebastian would ever know about it. "You've had a positive influence here." He stood, as your hand fell. "I don't know why, but you seemed to have an affect on him, too. Perhaps you could use that to your advantage later."

You knew who he was referring to but you still asked what he meant. "Who? You couldn't mean-"

"Don't play dumb. You know who I mean. It's been a while, but you and I have both noticed the odd differences. Time moves slowly for us. What's it to an immortal?"

"I don't understand." You rose, facing him as he turned to glance down the corridor, darkening in the encroaching night. "Are you talking about the seven years since I almost died? How can you say that's been so easily observed by you or myself? I don't know what would make you suspect a change related to me."

"No. Neither do I." Ciel turned back to you. You still had time. "But I didn't suspect it. I noticed it. I saw it happen. You can't suspect an observation. You should appreciate the art of deduction more than you do, as you've spent so much time around the Yard. You have an affect on him. Use it. I won't discuss the matter further." You nodded.

"As you wish." His eyes opened slightly wider as you said that. He regained his typical mannerisms as you kept on. "I won't, but I want to say, before you leave, that I'll miss you very much." You stepped forward impulsively, deliberately disregarding any attempt to think before acting, and grabbed his hand. You could feel the family ring he wore. The heavy, blue stone made a tiny clinking noise as it hit the polished silver of the ring on your own hand. He noticed, but didn't have time to say much as you tugged him into your arms. You were tougher than you looked, and he couldn't get away, not that he wanted to, but still, you feared he wouldn't like it. "You're like family to me. You're like my brother. I love you, Ciel. I'll miss you more than I can say. I don't want to think about never seeing you again."

He clutched the back of your dress as he rested his head against your shoulder. You felt a small amount of liquid drip onto the soft fabric. He was crying, but his voice came out clear and unbroken. "You still seem more like my mother than my sister, {Y/N}. Even though I've been protecting you, and the possibility of you having a son at three is completely mad, you'll always remind me of her." You wanted to cry, too. You recalled one night, out of the blue, noticing a resemblance between Sebastian and Vincent Phantomhive, when you looked at that same family photo. You couldn't remember when it was, nor if you were angry or happy about it. It was, simply, objectively true to you. An observation. How ironic. Your previous delusional hopes stung when you thought about how there was some accuracy behind them. Then again, almost all distorted concepts stem from somewhat accurate facts.

You exhaled, trying to seem strong, and you hugged him tighter. He winced.

"Ow!" You relaxed your grip as he pulled free. "You are strong!" He smiled. "I've said that before, though." He raised a hand behind his head, looking away from him him as a far off clock chimed. You had fifteen minutes. Where had the time gone? He closed his eyes and turned back to you. "Well, since you'll probably go to heaven, I'll give you one more piece of advice." He didn't wait for you to reply, or to argue about your fate. You both knew it wasn't certain anyone would end up in paradise, but he was joking, at least partially. "Try to be as horrible as humanly possible. Sin daily. Keep a list. Check off all seven. I know wrath is easy for you. Gluttony can't be that hard. I've seen how unladylike you can be. Greed can be mustered. Covet everything. Uh, what else is there..." he forgot a few, but didn't have time to think on it much more. "Lust might take some time, but hopefully you'll figure it out." You laughed.

"Is that some sort of hint at something?" He rolled his eyes, grateful you weren't still shaken up about what you'd wanted revenge for. "You're not giving me any hints at all?" He shook his head. "Not about what I'm supposed to do after this?" He sighed.

"You will know." He hugged you once more. "It'll make sense, I promise. Don't worry. I told your father I'd protect you. My own life was scheduled to end long before I even knew who you were. Yours doesn't have to end, too, now that you've known me. So, please, trust me, {Y/N}." Those words send a chill through you. They meant everything to you. They were synonymous with love. Trust and love were the same to you. Inseparable, no matter what form the love took.

"Ciel I-" he said it before you had to a second time. "I love you too, {Y/N}. You've always been my family, since the day we met. I won't forget how happy it's made me to know there's people out there like you and me. I'll miss you as well." He let go and turned to leave as the same distant clock struck midnight.

You hung your head and began to cry. You heard nothing from anyone or anything until hours later.

Three things happened the following morning.

First, the servants found you asleep in the same chair you'd been sitting in the night before, your hair matted and tangled, your eyes red from sobbing until you passed out from exhaustion. You hadn't slept since the execution.

Secondly, they questioned you. You were loathe to answer, not knowing what to say. Where was the Young Master? Why were you crying? What was the matter? Did something happen to him? You just shook your head, burying your face in your hands as their concern only worsened your despair. You didn't want to see their faces.

The third and final thing that happened that grim morning, the sunlight offensive in its severity, was the quiet then jarring sound of hoofbeats on cobblestone. A carriage, this time bearing no grandiose ornaments, no gold accents, nothing beautiful at all, ebony and dark, as a faceless messenger at its helms, came to an abrupt halt before the manor. You didn't leave your place, instead the rest of the staff exited, to meet with whoever had arrived. You were glad you didn't see their expressions. They were heartbroken.

A letter had been brought to the estate, written in elegant script, its seal broken by a capable, dedicated servant.

In memory of
Ciel Phantomhive
Son of The Earl Vincent Phantomhive & Countess Rachel Phantomhive
1875-1894
Aged nineteen years

You couldn't see anyone grieving. You didn't hear anyone crying except yourself, but everyone was, save the one who had come to deliver the tragic news himself.