Chapter 6: Stop It

Two days have passed. Dalawang araw ko na ring ginagawa ang community service ko. Good thing I have a different task with Iradessa and her minions. Dalawang araw din na maayos ang araw ko. No Semper to annoy me dahil dalawang araw ko rin siyang hindi nakikita. Not that I am looking for him.

"Ano kayang nangyari kay Semper?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Nikki. We were having our lecture and she noticed his absence. "Absent eh."

Baka nakipag-asawa na sa girlfriend niya. Tsk, edi siya na ang may girlfriend! Ang huli kasi naming pag-uusap ay tungkol doon. He also told me his definition of love. Pilit ko namang iniignora si Daven na nasa di kalayuan lamang. As much as possible, I don't want to look at him dahil naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko dahil paulit-ulit kong nakukumpira na mahal ko pa rin siya.

"Miss Dizon?"

I think I heard someone call my last name. Argh, I really hate myself. Ginugulo na nga ni Daven ang utak ko, dinagdagan pa ni Semper.

"Gurl," bulong ni Nikki at kinalabit ako. Napatingin ako sa kanya at saka lamang napansin na nakatunghay sa akin ang buong klase, including Sir Neo.

"Sorry," I mumbled beneath my breath. I saw Sir Neo smiled, but no, the smile spills something. And I hate it.

"See me after the class Miss Dizon," wika niya at nag-resume sa pagtuturo. Hindi man lamang niya ako binigyan ng pagkakataong sumagot.

After the long wait is over, I stayed on the classroom, waited for everyone to go out at nang ako na lamang ang naiwan ay lumapit ako kay Sir Neo na nakangisi habang nagche-check ng quiz namin kanina.

"Gusto niyo po akong makausap, Sir?"

Nag-angat siya ng tingin. Sinadya kong huwag lagyan ng anuman ang boses ko upang kahit papaano ay normal lang ang pag-uusap namin. Let's just say that nothing happened last semester.

He let out his boyish smile. The one that hook all the students here at the university. "I just want to say sorry."

I did not expect the S word kaya nagulat ako. "Pardon?"

"I said I'm sorry," wika niya. His voice sounded sincere, and his eyes supports his voice. "Let's break the ice between us. I know I acted like a jerk and unprofessional, so I am apologizing now."

I was thinking what's the catch. I don't think that he is the apologizing type. No, I never thought that he is one. If he really wanted to, edi sana ay matagal na niyang ginawa. O baka ako lamang ang nagpapakumplikado sa lahat. Delayed apology is still an apology, right?

I thought he will never apologize and continue denying it. But he did. Kahit na matagal bago niya naisipang humingi ng tawad, he still did.

"I was used to girls like those, sorry if I treated you like that," sabi niya. I lost count of how many sorry he said. All I know is that I still cannot believe it. "I am really very sorry, Violet. I think that's the least I can do after I leave this university." Yumuko pa siya at ilang beses na inutal ang salitang sorry. Kinapa ko ang dibdib ko. Ako ang taong hindi mahilig mag-ipon ng sama ng loob sa kapwa and after hearing Sir Neo apologize, mas gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Really, he is leaving?

"I'm really sorry Violet. Sa totoo lang ay gusto kita. You're smart, pretty and everything and I used my power as your professor beyond its limit." He sounds so sincere in his every word. "I'm very sorry for that."

Hindi naman siguro kailangang mag-ipon pa ako ng sama ng loob sa kanya. I gave him a smile.

"Apology accepted, Sir," wika ko na nagpaangat sa ulo niya. He sweetly smiled at me at inabot ang kamay ko.

"Maraming salamat, Violet. Thank you for being a model student. Mula ngayon ay maipapangako ko sa'yo na hinding-hindi na iyon mauulit. Not with you, not with anyone. I will be a righteous and ethical professor now," wika niya. I silently hope that he will be true to his words. Kung saan man siya pag-alis niya ng AU, sana lang ay totohanin niya ang kanyang pangako. I cannot confirm it personally lalo na at nagbabalak na pala itong umalis ng AU.

"I hope you will be true to your words, Sir." I smiled at him again at nagpaalam na.

Masaya ako sa nangyari. Kahit na medyo naiilang pa rin ako sa kanya, it's a relief that we are fine now. Hindi ako nagtagal doon at agad na nagpaalam sa kanya.

Binuksan ko ang pinto at lumabas ng classroom. Muntikan na akong napasigaw nang may nakatayong lalaking nakaitim doon. It was Semper.

"Ilang beses mo ba akong gugulatin?!" I shouted at him. He was standing against the wall, right behind the door. One hand was in his pocket, the other on the wall.

"Did I?"

I rolled my eyes. Sabagay, he didn't intentionally surprise me. Nakatayo lang naman siya doon. Napansin kong wala na ang pasa sa mukha niya at ang ilang galos sa braso niya.

"Your bruises are healed." He moves his lips like he is agreeing to what I am saying. "Saan ka galing? Bakit ngayon ka lang dumating? Are you absent in all your classes today? You missed our quiz. Katatapos lamang ng klase natin."

Sandali, ako ba ang nagtanong ng mga katanungan na iyon?!

"I rested to treat my wounds and body pain."

"Sino naman ang nag-alaga sa'yo? Girlfriend mo?" I didn't want to open up the girlfriend thing but look, I just did. I wanna punch myself real hard.

"Why are you asking?"

"Masama bang magtanong?"

"No."

"Hindi naman pala eh."

"No, I wasn't taken care off by my girlfriend." Okay. His NO was the answer to my previous question. Thank you, Semper.

"Ah, I see," wika ko. Nauna na akong maglakad. It's so awkward. Attention of the people around were on us right now. Naglalakad kasi ako sa corridor and behind me was Semper. And yeah, we're talking. "You missed our class."

"Yeah."

"Hindi ba magagalit ang girlfriend mo kapag ganoon?" I almost bite my tongue. Bakit ko na naman binuksan ang usapan tungkol sa girlfriend niya?!

"Hindi."

"Ah." If that would be me, siguro hindi nga ako magagalit pero hindi naman mabuting pabayaan niya ang pag-aaral niya.

I don't know what's his deal kung bakit madalas kaming nag-uusap lately. I don't think he's the friendly-type kaya imposibleng isipin na nais lang niyang makipagkaibigan sa akin ang rason ng paglapit niya.

Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad ngunit bigla akong napahinto at nilingon si Semper na nakabuntot pa rin sa akin. "Bakit mo ako sinusundan?"

"I find the direction of where you are heading to... interesting," sagot niya. Papunta ako sa gate dahil aalis ako sa campus.

"I'm going to church." Nais ko kasing magpasalamat dahil ayos na kami ni Sir Neo. I've been praying for it for a long time at ngayon ay dininig na ang panalangin ko.

"Let's go." Semper walks forward, passing me. Let's go? He is going with me?

"Sinong may sabi sa iyo na isasama kita?" Tanong ko sa kanya at hinabol siya. Hinila ko ang laylayan ng damit niya at agad siyang humarap sa akin. Yes, he's still wearing all-black outfit.

"Why not?"

"Church. Baka masunog ka roon," I joked. But it was half meant. Creatures like him might burn at church. Maybe. Just maybe.

I was surprised when I saw him smile for the first time. It was a smile that was enough to make my stomach flutter. His smile was beautiful, I should say.

"I won't."

"Tuwang-tuwa ka yata?" It's weird to see him smile that way. Hindi ako sanay dahil hindi naman siya ganoon.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'll be able to see my girlfriend."

"Sa simbahan?" What the hell? Er, that wasn't a good expression. I just said about a church and now I'm saying hell. Ano ba ang girlfriend niya? Madre? Choir member? Catechist?

Tumango siya sa akin. "I'm giving you a free ride. Are you coming or not?"

"With you?"

"Yeah."

Hindi ko alam but I found myself agreeing. "Let's go."

***

Nang makarating kami sa cathedral ay naghiwalay na kami ni Semper. Pumasok ako sa loob at nakinig sa prayers at nang matapos iyon ay pumunta ako sa bahagi ng cathedral kung nasaan ang ilang mga rebulto at may daan-daang kandila. Nagsindi ako ng tatlong kandila at nagdasal. I stayed there for a while at nang lumingon ako sa mga rebulto ng anghel na may mga holy water ay nakita kong nakatayo si Semper doon. He was facing the sculpture, with a weird expression.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at bahagya siyang siniko. "Hoy, inaaway ka ng rebulto?" It was a joke, nakalimutan ko kasing hindi pala dapat magbiro kay Semper. He will not understand it.

"I don't recognize this angel," wika niya at muling tiningnan iyon ng masama.

"Me too."

"Then why is it here? This must be fallen," mahina niyang wika. Ano ba ang problema niya sa rebultong iyon? He touched the part where there was a crack. He touched it like it was something so fragile.

I choose not to answer his weird question. "Did you meet your girlfriend?"

He withdrew his hands from the sculpture at tiningnan ako. "She's not here."

"Baka nasa loob. Ano bang hitsura niya?" I asked. I was swallowing some lump in my throat and I do not know why.

"You cannot see her."

Wow, Semper, is your girlfriend an invisible woman? Hindi ko iyon sinabi. Like I said, hindi niya iyon maiintindihan. "Who knows. I have good eye sight. What does she looks like? Maganda ba siya? Maputi? Sexy? Matalino?"

Semper's eyes glow. "Very beautiful. She's the most beautiful because her name in Hebrews means beauty of God. She's luminous, shining in her own way. She's very —"

"Oo na! Oo na!" Pft! Magbuhat ba naman ng sariling bangko dahil sa girlfriend niya?! "What's her name?"

"Jophiel."

"Sounds like an angel," wika ko.

"She is." Seryosong-seryoso ang mukha niya na kung hindi ko lamang alam na iyon talaga ang normal niyang ekpresyon ng mukha, maniniwala ako sa sinasabi niya.

I don't want to hear anything about his girlfriend anymore kaya niyaya ko na siyang umuwi. Hindi ko alam pero parang nawala ako sa mood.

"Let's go," sagot niya sa pagyaya ko sa kanya. No. I don't mean I want to go home with him. He can stay here and wait for his girlfriend if he wants.

"Magta-taxi na lang ako." Hindi ko hinintay ang sagot niya at agad kong nilagpasan siya. I don't know if he is looking at me from behind and I don't want to know. Nakauwi ako ng bahay na walang kibo. Agad akong dumeretso sa kwarto ko at naglinis ng katawan. Pagkatapos ay sinulyapan ko ang digital clock. It's past five in the afternoon. I tried reading my books hanggang sa natagpuan ko sariling tuluyang nilamon ng antok.

Nagising ako dahil sa kakaibang init. I also felt my sweat running down my body. Ang naalala ko ay pinaandar ko ang aircon ng kwarto ko bago ako natulog. I was too lazy to open my eyes and check but the heat became unbearable. Nang buksan ko ang mga mata ko ay napasigaw ako nang makitang nasusunog ang kwarto ko. My shelf was swallowed by the fire at palapit na ang malaking apoy sa kama ko. I coughed few times, the smoke inside was suffocating. Kailangan kong lumabas sa silid ko ngunit maging ang pinto ay tinutupok na rin ng apoy.

I cried for help few times in between my cough ngunit halos mamaos na lamang ako ay wala pa ring tulong na dumarating. Sinubukan kong maghanap ng anumang bagay na maaring makatulong sa akin sa silid ko. Binuksan ko ang mga drawer but there was nothing useful.

To my surprise, there was someone there! He was standing on the window, watching me from the outside. His silhouette was enough to make my knees shake. Nang sinipa niya ang bintana at pumasok doon ay mas lalo pa akong napasigaw. It was a guy, dressed in all black. Napaatras ako nang unti-unting lumapit sa akin ang nakaitim na lalaki.

Sa takot ko ay tinakbo ko ang pinto. I started shouting for help, but no one was there. Hindi ko magawang hawakan ang doorknob dahil sobrang init na niyon kaya sinipa ko ang nagliliyab na pinto. I passed through the flames but so as the figure. I skidded down to the hall towards the stairs nang mapatid ako. I cried hard when I saw that it was Mom. She was lying on the floor. Wala na itong buhay.

Nanikip ang dibdib ko at hindi ako makahinga. Papalapit pa rin sa akin ang itim na pigura ng lalaki kaya kahit gusto ko mang umiyak lamang doon, I pulled myself together. Bumaba ako ng hagdan, papunta sa sala. The flame was also starting there, I tried blocking anything I see on the way ngunit napatigil ako nang makita ko si Laven Der sa sahig at wala na ring malay.

"Lav!" Ilang beses kong inalog ang kapatid ko, but it was no use. "Lav! Lav!"

The fire was eating the whole house and, on the corner,, I saw Dad's body. He was still in his business, probably he just got home from work. Masakit na ang lalamunan ko sa kakaiyak at kakasigaw.

Unti-unti na ring lumalapit ang itim na pigura sa akin. He was inside me, telling me in my head some words that seem incomprehensible. Tinakpan ko ang tainga ko upang hindi ko marinig ang sinasabi niya... But... but Semper is the only person that I knew who could do that thing!

Parang mabibiyak ang ulo ko sa sakit na dulot ng pagsasalita niya sa ulo. I tried to close my eyes at sumigaw dahil sa sakit. It was so painful, so painful that I could die any moment from now.

"Stop it!" Pagmamakaawa ko sa kanya. Unti-unti nang natutupok ang lahat ng gamit sa sala. At the corner of my head, I was silently wishing that the bodies of my family will not be caught by fire.

Patuloy pa rin ang pagsasalita ng pigura sa isipan ko. His voice was dull and deep. It was scary like it's coming from somewhere deep and scary.

"STOP IT!" Sigaw ko. I know it's no use. Hindi pa rin niya ako papakinggan. "STOP IT... SEMPER... Please stop." And I continued shouting as I felt the throbbing in my head.

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