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Chapter 36 – Gaps

A muffled gasp left my lips at the sight of the girl in front of me. She wore a long golden beige flowing gown with simple but elegant silvery-gray band a little bit above the waist. Her long ivory arms and neck were made radiant by the incandescent light, highlighting her storm-gray eyes and dark wavy hair.

She looked taller with those strappy three-inch heels and if she only stayed still and not waddle, she looked graceful enough and… beautiful. I smiled and saw the girl in the mirror in front of me do the same.

It was me.

Just this morning, I was the ugly duckling.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I voiced incredulously at Louella who crossed her delicate arms in front of her chest. I looked down at myself. I wore a long-sleeved pullover, plain old jeans and a pair of sneakers. Same old same old.

She just eyed at me from head to toe then gave an apologetic smile. “It’s not wrong… It’s just—“

“Inappropriate?” Becky interjected standing beside Louella.

“That’s the word,” said she nodding and stroked her dark wavy locks before ransacking my luggage. “Do you have any other clothes? They all look… the same.” She looked as though she felt sorry for me and my wardrobe.

I shook my head at her catching a reassuring smile from Becky. Just then Leon came into the room with his nerdy disguise on. Somehow, it made me feel better just by looking at him. With him pretending to be a nerd, the integers between our appearances decreased a bit. But still, he’s a positive nine while I’m a negative one on the scale. That was still a big gap.

“I’m going now,” said he pulling my arm to kiss my forehead. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm…” I nodded, avoiding his crystal blue eyes which seemed apprehensive at some point. “Take care.” Squeezing his hand, I managed a smile hoping to convince him that I was doing fine.

“You too. And don’t forget to call Emma.” He smiled pulling away. I didn’t want to let go but I had to. “I love you.” Leon said with anticipation in his eyes which faded almost as soon as I replied with nothing more but a silent nod. He looked down, seemingly disappointed then turned away.

“Leon,” I pulled a sleeve of his blue button-up shirt. “Can we talk? I mean about…” There was that sinking feeling again as I paused to impulsively glance at Louella who deliberately averted her gaze from the two of us. “A-about— something,” I murmured through the choking sensation in my throat.

An unreadable expression painted his face as he gave me a blank nod. “Later then,” said he pulling tersely at my hand to give me a kiss on the lips.

I stood there frozen before him, heart racing like crazy and feeling the world crumbling under my feet. His lips were the sweetest in the world and though it was brief, I kissed him back like it would be our last. My eyes started to water for some reason but I struggled to hold back the tears. I wanted to let him go but at the same time didn’t. Then I pulled away from him, mustering a smile as I swallowed the choking lump in my throat. Put up the happy face, I told myself.

“Later,” I whispered as he turned away without another word.

“Sarah?” Louella’s tiny voice interrupted my train of thought as she peeked from behind the old rose curtains that hung from the high ceiling, separating the stalls of the fitting room from the vast array of clothes and accessories of one of the posh-looking stores where she had brought us.

So far, we’ve been to seven different expensive stores. She made Becky and I fit every piece of clothing she laid eyes on. I’d complain (you know how I love to complain) but Louella seemed to be the person who never accepts no for an answer.

Then we went to the salon. Also known as the place where you pay people to torture you and your hair.

My hand instinctively shot to my neck with a shiver running down my spine, remembering the two and a half long hours I had to stay still while the stylist fussed with my hair. Am I being punished?

“Are you done yet?” She asked.

I took another glance of myself in the tall mirror and pushed the curtain aside. Now I could consider myself somewhere around positive five. That was just four integers away from Leon when he’s in his geek suit. But still…

Everywhere I looked, there were women in uniform vests and gray pencil skirts waiting for us. I kept my eyes down, feeling a blush coming as Becky gasped and jumped out of her seat to approach me.

“Oh… my…” She murmured circling to take a good look at me.

Wincing, I lifted my eyes to her, struggling to keep my balance on the pointy shoes. “Do I look that bad?”

“Bad? You look lovely, Sarah!” Becky laughed with an astonished look about her face. “Louella, you’re brilliant!” She turned to Louella who seemed to be spacing out.

Louella stood from the couch and stepped towards me nodding with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You look pretty,” said she, getting on her toes to put my hair up with a crystal studded pin. “There. Perfect.”

Smiling at her, I looked down. Louella sure was nice but somehow I couldn’t quite make myself at ease whenever I was with her. Maybe because she’s just downright beautiful and there was a constant air of elegance and superiority about her that I could not help but compare myself to her. I was insecure.

No. I was jealous.

“We’ll take everything including this one,” said she waving her hand to one of the sales ladies and fished a black and gold credit card from inside her scarlet glittery purse.

My eyes widened and I could see Becky having the same reaction.

“E-everything?” I stammered impulsively groping for the price tag on the back of my dress. “Twenty three hundred dollars,” I muttered incredulously, reading the tiny numbers on the small piece of plastic tag. All of a sudden, my knees felt shaky, making it harder to stand with the high-heeled shoes. “Louella, I couldn’t—“

“Don’t worry, Sarah.” She smiled waving the gold credit card in her hand. “Leon got it covered.”

“But—“

She shushed me and closed her eyes as though losing her patience. “No buts. Everything’s going to be just fine. You look better with these clothes. And besides, Leon deserves nothing but the best. Don’t you think?” A warmhearted smile played on her perfect face.

Nodding in retreat, I headed to the dressing room to change back to my old clothes. There was something with her words that almost had me suffocating.

Nothing but the best, I repeated the words in my head for a million times and knew she was right. Leon deserved the best and I couldn’t be that girl no matter how hard I tried.

“Sarah,” Louella called back handing me a piece of clothing. “Wear this instead.”

I sighed at the price tag of the little dress. It was enough to get me through a semester in a community college.

It was as awful as I had expected it to be. The gap between Leon and I seemed to grow by the minute and it left a twisting feeling in my chest the more I thought about it.

Lost deep in thought, I hadn’t notice right away that Becky slipped into the fitting room when I was nearly done.

I fidgeted with my dress, my hair, and stared blankly at my reflection on the mirror, mindless of whatever she was trying to say.

“Sarah. Sarah Johannes Littman. Earth to SarahVille. I repeat, Earth to SarahVille, please report immediately!” She snapped her fingers in front of my face, her storm-blue eyes bright with eagerness.

“What?” I tilted my head in bewilderment.

“What is wrong with you? How can you stick to the plan spacing out like that?” Crossing her arms in front of her, Becky tweaked the fringe of my hair and smiled.

“Nothing.” I smiled back weakly and paused hesitantly. “P-plan? What plan?”

She rolled her eyes and  towed me out of the dressing room. “Right…”

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Howdy! It's been a while! A short chapter this is... but it gets really chotoc after this... so please stay tuned :) please vote please do :) It'd make me real happy :) toodaloo!