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Chapter 27 – Nightmares

The cold night released a few cold gusts that lashed out sadistically on my face. I was petrified; conscious of the disquiet that made its way to me. My eyes widened neither with fear or disbelief but on the consequences I would have to confront in a little while.

Leon stood there unmoving, nearly a statue. I wished his once pensive blue eyes showed any emotion at all, but they didn’t. Just an ocean of bare nothingness.

The sinking feeling crept in my stomach. I knew exactly how it must have looked like. I shook my head, as though it would convey something to Leon — something he didn’t already know. I had not been honest. What could I expect?

I scrambled to my feet and dragged myself to where he stood. Every step was arduous, made worse by the crushing guilt that resurfaced. Only now, it was more terrifying.

A couple of feet from him; that was all I could handle. It seemed like another step closer would make him shy away in disgust, or anger, or hate; whatever it was that I could not decipher on his void façade.

“L-Leon…” I whispered in a harsh undertone. I swallowed the lump that blocked my throat and reached out a hand to him. “Let me… Let me explain.” My voice broke in all the wrong places, unaware of the uncanny wintry breeze, of my hair whipping at my face.

Leon’s eyes flickered infinitesimally. Then all I could see was misery so severe I could not quite comprehend its depth. All my fault.

There was an otherworldly shadow that casted on his face before at last, he moved and turned away, disappearing through the darkness across the street.

In my mind, I very much needed to run after him. Tell him it was not what he thought it was. Beg. But I couldn’t muster enough courage to do so. I grasped with each and every strand of moral fiber that I was not truly deserving of him.

Matt came and towed me back to the front porch where I sat down weakly. Remorse was evident on his ashen face.

“Sarah… I’m so sorry.” His voice rang of sincerity. Deep down, I still doubted if he genuinely meant what he just said.

“Go home, Matt,” I mumbled eyes still fixed where Leon disappeared. A lump surged in my throat, hewing every breath with an unbearable heaviness.

“I’ll go to him. I could tell him everything,” he said seeming to argue with himself.

“W-would you?” I replied uncertainly.

His dark eyes lingered on me for several moments then stared at the ground with his face downcast. I immediately comprehended the answer. He could, but he’d rather not. This was what he was aiming for in the first place.

“Go home,” I croaked

I stormed back into the house, trudging heavily up the stairs then to my room to bury my face on my pillow in anticipation of the tears that had not come. Mom was right. Why did she have to be right every time?

I heard the revving of engine and I knew Matt was gone.

Empty. That was all I could feel. I wished for the tears to come. Then perhaps, after crying for god knows how long, I would feel a little bit better.

I speed dialed Leon’s number. After two rings I was redirected to the voicemail. I listened to the recorded prompt followed by a beep but I did not say anything and hung up several times.

You know what to do. His silky voice reverberated inside my head like a broken record, but I didn’t mind the pain as long as I could hear him.

“I don’t…” I whispered vacantly in reply.

The night lapsed into a deep silent oblivion. My eyes were tired as hell but sleep never drifted to me even for a single second. Staring on the ceiling, I was flat on my back wondering what Leon was doing. Was he still up like me? A twinge of pain shot through my chest as nausea gripped me.

I dreadfully missed him despite the fact that I didn’t have the right to do so. Not anymore. I ran to the showers and sat weakly in the tub as the torrent of cold plummeted to my head, to my body, to the tips of my fingers like shards of ice that stabbed every strand of my body. The cold seemed to numb the pain only to the slightest extent.

With my whole body trembling, I jostled to my feet and stepped hesitantly to the window. My drenched sleeves dripped on the floor as I opened the panels, feeling the cold breeze rushing through me, whipping cold fire against my face. I kept it open just in case he wanted to come back. He would find that I would be waiting.

I hugged myself and rocked back and forth until the vacillating cold was gone only to be replaced by an uncomfortable burning feeling on my skin. Still, the tears had not come.

Closing my eyes, my mind drifted to Leon. I could not see his face through the blur of my conflagrant hallucinations. All I could feel was the smoldering of my skin, the uncontrollable tremors of my hands, the rattling of my teeth.

“Sarah, everything’s going to be alright,” Mom’s voice resounded through my ears though I couldn’t seem to see her.

A damp tepid sensation lingered on my forehead. It was soothing. My breathing was ragged and slightly searing against the lump in my throat.

Weakly, I reached my hand out for some help. A hand enclosed mine. It was warm yet comforting. Before long, the burning ceased and it was easier to breathe.

I opened my eyes through the queasiness that had formed the moment I stirred. It was rather odd to find myself in bed while I had no recollection of it. Mechanically, I heaved my torso up, only to find how weak I have become. The weakness was made worse by an excruciating headache.

“Ow,” I caught my forehead.

On the side of my bed, Mom stirred and shot right up stiffly from her chair. There were bags under her eyes and her strawberry-blond locks had a rumpled look to it. Her hand automatically shot to my forehead then she sighed of relief.

“Good thing the fever’s gone down,” she said pushing me onto the bed flat on my back.

I gave her a bewildered look but didn’t resist. Weak as I was, I did not have the energy to argue.

“You were delirious all night.” Mom’s voice shook. Never had I heard her panic like that. “What were you thinking, sleeping on the floor? And in sodden clothes too! Don’t ever scare me like that, Sarah.” Her face was worry-stricken.

 “S-sorry Mom...” My voice was harsh as though I had been screaming all night. I felt guilty that I made Mom worry so much. “I feel better now.”

For four days, Mom just about shackled me in bed as I was sniffling and coughing the whole time. Mom wasn’t looking so good herself so I tried the best behavior I could manage despite the all the fuss she made, from my reckless actions to the ladder that dangled outside my open window. She thought I was sneaking out at night which I did not comment on at the least.

Every night, the fever came. And with that, Leon’s miserable eyes haunted me and racked me to the bones. He would come to reach out for my hand but before I could touch him, he would vanish. Once Leon was gone, Larkin Frost would appear out of nowhere, his uncanny beady eyes raking me from head to toe. The spine-chilling sight made me shriek to the top of my lungs. But not a peep would come from my mouth.

The dreams just kept getting worse. And every time I would wake up panting and dead terrified. I tried my best to hide everything from Mom but I knew she sensed the restlessness.

The nightmares would cease but never the pain. It crept through me; through the writhing emptiness in my chest. In my waking hours, it would torture me.

I had tried calling him again only to hear the recorded message repetitively. No Leon; nothing from him.

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third chapter for the day... I hope you liked it and if you do, don't forget to vote and comment. I'd really appreciate this... I was thinking if this story is still worth my time. But then, we've reached this chapter and it'd be a waste to keep hanging... I'd still try my best to update and I want to thank everyone who is reading this.. you are life savers!!! <3 shim