Shinsou was alone at the table. He was skimming through a textbook with his usual bored expression. He looked like he hasn't slept in two weeks. His head rested on his hand, his fingers pulling his cheek down. He looked like he was having a stroke. It was hot.

Denki felt something grab his hand. He didn't bother to look at what had taken his hand. He just hoped his crush wasn't causing him to hallucinate and imagine crap. It would be nice if Shinsou was holding his hand, but right now Shinsou is...face first in his book. Probably drooling. He's so pretty.

"Ha. Loser. You're totally pining over Sir Eyebags."

It was Jirou. She was wearing a purple Deep Dope shirt and a cropped leather jacket. Denki swore that it belonged to him at one point. An earbud was in her ear, but Denki was unsure she even needed it. He had a feeling it was for the emo rocker aesthetic. She looked like a zombie.

Denki feigned a dramatic gasp. "Ji—Bro, what? Excuse me? I am not pining. I'm just admiring him from afar."

"Afar, my ass. You're too clingy for anything to be considered 'afar'," Jirou deadpanned.

"No, I am afar. I'm sitting on the floor across the room. And it's a big room. So, therefore, I am admiring him from afar," Denki said, content with his answer.

She rolled her eyes. "You're watching him sleep. I'm sure he's drooling—"

"—That's what I thought—"

"—and that's an invasion of personal space. You're all up in his business, and there's no such thing as afar in all of that," said Jirou. She was starting to talk like Momo, and motherly wasn't an outstanding look on her.

"Give me your other hand," she directed.

"Huh?" Denki looked down. Each fingernail was neatly painted a shiny black. He set his hand on the coffee table beside him. He has been sitting on the common room floor for the past half hour. He finished last week's homework, so he decided that people-watching was a nice treat. Uraraka clearly had a habit of pacing when she was concentrating. She didn't even notice him. It was almost a bit funny to watch. Mina liked to pretend she was being stealthy when she snuck into the kitchen and returned with a plate of burnt pizza bagel bites. When Iida passed by, he made it his goal to say hello and ask Denki about his day. Denki couldn't count how many times Bakugou purposely stepped over him. Denki wanted to tattle on him to Kirishima, but he knew we wasn't going to get anywhere.

"I said, give me your other hand."

Jirou's voice pulled him from his thoughts. Denki put his hand on her lap, and Jirou unscrewed the cap of the nail polish bottle. She rolled her eyes and started applying a coat. Denki couldn't help but picture them attending a My Chemical Romance concert, decked out in black and leather. "Oh, ha. Sorry. Just thinking about some of the people in our class."

She stifled a giggle with her free hand, an insult coming to her mind. "Are you pining over them too?"

"NO! What?!"

Jirou shrugged. She casually began to apply a coat of polish, a sly smirk dancing on her lips. "Uh, huh. It's okay, I'd still support you."

"You're an asshole," Denki stated. He playfully narrowed his eyes.

She glanced up from his hand. Her eyeliner was smudged, radiating emo. It still looked good on her. "No, I'm just your reality check."

Denki smiled widely. "Oh, really? Reality check?"

Jirou nodded, using sincerity to mask another tease. "Yeah. You had a thing for me in our first year, don't deny it. Now that we've established that I'm hopelessly uninterested in you, it's my turn to boost your morale and and then lead you to heartbreak."

"Oh wow. I'm honored."

"Aww, that's sweet." They made eye contact. Her eyes were playfully wild. "Now, before you run, let's talk about this week's new man."

"My what? My new man?!" Denki squeaked. "Quit making me sound like a whore."

Jirou raised an eyebrow, and a shit-eating grin stretched her pale cheeks. She capped the nail polish bottle. She was finished. "Oh, so you've had him in your mind for longer than a week if I'm assuming correctly?"

"No!" Denki shrieked, flustered. He was hoping to dissolve into a puddle of goo. He'd take anything to get himself out of this. But at least his nails looked nice. Maybe he can add little stickers to his nails. He'd have to order them. He wondered if U.A. allowed Amazon deliveries. He was also tempted to mess up a nail so she'd get angry and leave. He'd rather her be angry than nosy. But his drying fingernails were really pretty, and he couldn't bring himself to do it. They were so shiny. He liked shiny.

"You sure about that?" she prodded, her eyebrow raising even higher. She stiffly stood up and stumbled to to couch. She waved at Midoriya and Momo who had just plopped down at the table beside Shinsou before returning her attention to Denki. "Cause you did make it seem like you've like him for a bit longer than you're letting on."

Denki sighed. "No."

She blinked twice. One. Two. "What are you answering 'no' to?"

"I—uh, er...ughhh," he spluttered. He shoved himself into the cough. He should have grabbed a pillow, his butt was starting to hurt. "I hate your ego."

"Nah, you love me," she said with a giggle.

Denki returned his attention to Shinsou. Midoriya was hesitantly poking at Shinsou's head. Shinsou didn't budge. Momo look shared a looked with Jirou from across the room. Denki could sense the unspoken, 'I think he might be dead'. Denki couldn't help but pout at the interactions.

Jirou wheezed. "Oh my god. You're jealous! I can't, I'm sorry...don't kill me!" she wheezed between loud laughter.

Denki didn't like how she said it. It was like she was threatening to...oh, no. "This is betrayal, this is offensive, this is cruel."

"BAKUGOUUUU!"

"NO!"

Denki looked over at Shinsou. Shinsou was definitely awake now. He had drool marks trailing down the side of his mouth. He looked dazed, and he made brief eye contact with Denki before slamming his head back into the textbook. He was weirdly attractive in a homeless college student kind of way.

There's a chance it might make up for the aggressive stomping from the hallway. However, the chances seemed low as Bakugou peered around the corner and sent him a spine rattling death glare.