"Isko?!"

I heard Ma'am Cora with a sound-like hyena laughing sarcastically. And now, she was roaring, and was talking nonstop habang pinapanood ko naman 'yong makulay na paruparo sa bintana na kadadapo lang. I was just looking at it, detailing every color of its wings.

Nang lumipad 'yon palayo ay napatingin ako sa mga studyante sa labas, they're strolling happily in the corridor. Uwian na ng ibang section pero saka naman ako pinatawag dito sa faculty. Bumuntong-hininga ako at saka isa-isang pinatunog 'yong mga daliri. Ang daya naman! Baka sina Josh nakauwi na rin!

"Ano 'tong sinulat mo? Isa pa 'to. Ito naman sinulat ng kaibigan mo, si Luli!" I turned to Ma'am Cora and saw her looking at the papers on the table, she forcefully pulled out one of them. "Gusto ko maging gerero ng Emperyo ng Asul. Gerero? Emperyo ng Asul?"

Her brows met when she looked at me.

"Ah! May kahulugan po o simbolismo ang kulay asul. Gaya po ng watawat natin, ang asul ay kumakatawan sa kapayapaan, katotohanan, at katarungan, gano'n rin po ang Emperyo namin-"

"Tahimik!" Nagtaas siya bigla ng kamay, saying that I should not dare to speak. "Ang pinagawa kong assignment ay kung anong klase ng proffesion o trabaho ang gusto ninyo in the future!"

"Ma'am-"

"Dragon Slayer?!" Nakarinig naman ako ng mga tawa mula sa labas at galing iyon sa mga kaklase ko. Agad silang sinaway ni Ma'am at nagsialisan naman sila habang inaasar pa rin ako. "May gano'n bang trabaho? Propesyon ba ang pagiging gerero?"

"Opo," sagot ko.

"Ano?!" she spat and irritably messed up her hair. Because of her glaring eyes and sloppy hair, she now looks like a wild aye-aye.

Umupo ako nang maayos at saka ko madaling binuksan ang bag ko na nasa tabi. Kinuha ko 'yong notebook ko sa AP at binuklat ang likuran nito.

I have a lot of drawings here, so I had a bit of a hard time looking for the meaning of Gerero. Rinig ko pa ang pakaluskos ng papel dahil sa ilang pages din ang naibuklat ko.

It's just right here, I just wrote it here! I saw that Ma'am seemed impatient with what I was doing, at nang makita ko na ito ay tumuwid naman agad ako ng upo.

"A warrior is a person specializing in combat or warfare," basa ko. "Especially in the context of a warrior culture society that recognizes a separate warrior aristocracy, class, or caste. Sa panahon po natin, soldier naman po ang tawag sa kanila. Pero wala naman po 'yong pinagkaiba, parehong propesyon po ang dalawa-"

"Walang pinagkaiba?!" Napaigtad naman ako noong hinampas niya ang kamay niya sa table, sa mga papel pa namin. And I heard her sigh that it seemed like will go forever. "Sa'n niyo na ba nakukuha 'yan, ha?" bulong ni Ma'am habang minamasahe ang sintido.

Why would she want to know where I got that?

"Ah!" I smiled broadly. She asked about it, so because of that, I know Ma'am is interested in our Empire! "Na-search ko po sa Wikipedia!"

Marahan siyang napatingin sa akin. I don't know why Ma'am suddenly looked confused. "Lahat ba ng assignments mo do'n mo kinukuha?" she asked.

"Opo!"

"Hay!" Napasapo na siya sa noo niya. Did I say something wrong? "Kaya pala may numero ng references 'yong homework mo sa english, pati 'yon kinopya. Diyos ko! You're not good at this subject either," she mumbled.

"Anak ni, Ma'am Marjo?" tanong ng hindi ko kilalang guro sa kabilang table.

"Oo, Ma'am. Tingnan mo naman 'yong ginawa, eh..." Ma'am handed my paper to her.

"Kawawa naman si, Ma'am Marj, oh!" The teacher's eyes narrowed as she read my homework, and I just saw her shaking her head. "Ni wala man lang kokonting IQ ang namana..."

I saw them laughing. And why do they look like that? They look like they have lost hope in something. But is it wrong to be a Dragon Slayer and Gerero? Did I and Wesley do our homework wrong?

No'ng ginagawa ko 'yong homework ko, akala ko pa naman makakakuha ako ng mataas na score do'n. I didn't know that my wrong homework would cause Ma'am to be angry with me.

I felt sad. My level of happiness seemed to have dropped. I sighed at the thought. I didn't know how to recharge my joy. Just then, I just closed my notebook and put it back in my bag, and I suddenly noticed River... a legendary dragon egg that we had found in the river.

I took it without taking it out of my bag... I could hear her speaking, she was speaking to me. She was whispering something. She said she wanted to get out and hatch.

But no, it's not the right time yet. It will only be dangerous for her... she's not safe to hatch here. There are more monsters here!

Not yet, River!

"Hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano'ng mangayayari sa 'kin dahil sa inyong dalawa..."

"Mamamatay ka!" I said to her.

"Isko!"

Nabitawan ko si River dahil sa sigaw ni Ma'am. Mabilis naman akong umayos ng upo at hinarap siya. Not only are her eyes blazing, but so are her nostrils! My mouth formed an O, she looked like a furious dragon now! An enemy!

"Ma'am?"

"Dalhin mo 'yong Mama mo dito bukas," sabi ni Ma'am habang nakaturo 'yong daliri niya sa akin.

"Ah-"

"Bukas, ha?!" I immediately pressed my lips when she glared at me.

Matapos niyon ay lumabas na ako ng faculty. Napatingin pa ako sa loob dahil sa pagtataka. She wants me to bring Mom here tomorrow, which is surprising because Mom is also a teacher here, and they are also friends. Magkikita naman talaga sila bukas, e. 'Yon sana 'yong sasabihin ko sa kaniya. Ang labo ni Ma'am.

I just shrugged it off and quickly walked closer to the railings. I held onto the iron handle and then I tiptoed. Nakita ko naman ang mga kaibigan ko roon sa labas na bumibili ng ice pop.

"Yes!" Napasuntok ako sa hangin. Uwian na rin namin! Makakauwi na ako!

As I clutched both straps of my bag, ensuring it was safe, I felt the need to protect it even more since it held my weapons and River. I began to run faster as if I were being chased by a monster.

Noong malapit na ako sa gate ay napahinto ako nang makita ko 'yong pusa sa tuktok ng pader. Napahiyaw naman ako nang may naalala. I need to go home!

"Fufu!"

And I let out that long, long, long scream as I fled out of the school gate. I knew I must have looked weird at that moment, and because of that, I heard some taunting laughter from the kids who were also heading home... funny that it was coming from my friends.

"Bye-bye, Julian! Bye, Luke! Bye, Josh!" sigaw ko sa kanila at natawa naman ako no'ng tumalsik 'yong laman ng ice pop sa mukha ni Josh, aksident niya 'tong napisil habang kinakagat para buksan.

"Bye!" sabay-sabay nilang sigaw pabalik.

I have to hurry... I need to get home right away because someone is waiting for me. By now, I know Fufu is hungry, and he makes an extremely loud noise when he is. It's cute to me, but for Mom? Hindi siya pwedeng marining ni Mama, baka itapon siya!

Habang tumatakbo ay naririnig ko ang pagbati sa akin ng mga matatanda na nadadaanan ko. Sila 'yong mga matatanda na parati kong pinagbibilhan ng mga paninda nilang coton candy, ice candy, candy, at ice pop.

They treat me so nicely that, sometimes, nakakalibre pa ako ng ice pop dahil ang bibo ko raw. Natutuwa sila sa tawa ko, at na-cu-cute-an sa ngiti ko. I honestly don't like to smile, but because of that... araw-araw ko nang ginagawa 'yon kapag bumibili ako sa kanila.

"Hello, po!" Pakaway na bati ko sa kanila.

Huminto ako sa pagtakbo at saka lumapit sa paninda ni Ate Beng. Naglagay kaagad ako ng malawak na ngiti pagkatingin niya sa akin. I only smile with my mouth, I can't do that with my eyes. Nakita ko naman na tumawa sila.

"Pagka-cute na bata talaga, eh!" This is it... there's a sign that she's happy because of me. While smiling, my eyes widened as she took an ice pop from her old styrofoam box. Ito na, ito na 'yon! She then handed it to me. "Oh, are. Libre na 'yan!"

Yes! Sabi niya na libre na lang daw, kaya siyempre tinanggap ko 'yon agad. Hindi na 'ko tumanggi. Dahil sa ngiti ko, nakalibre na naman ako!

"Salamat po!"

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagtakbo nang matulin habang kinakain 'yong ice pop. Saglit din akong napahinto no'ng may nakita akong gumamela sa gilid ng daan.

I looked to my left and right, and when I made sure that there was no one around, mabilis kong hinablot ang tangkay nito at saka ako muling tumakbo.

"Humanda kayo sa 'kin!" sigaw ko habang winawasiwas 'yong tangkay. This is my sword and I am fighting against our enemies!

Mabilis kong pinreno ang mga paa ko noong may biglang nagsiliparang mga maya pagkadaan ko sa may gilid ng malawak na palayan. Binitawan ko 'yong hawak kong tangkay at saka ako tumingala para panoorin silang lumilipad. Ang dami nila!

"Waahhh!" I shouted happily, and I was even hopping with so much joy.

I slowly spread my arms, and for now, I have the power to fly! I slightly positioned myself as if I were in a racing competition, then I quickly ran with my arms still spread. Sobrang bilis ko, at halos hindi ko na marinig ang paligid dahil sa lakas ng hangin na sumasalubong sa akin at sa mga tainga ko.

I yelled with wild excitement while happily chuckling as if there were no tomorrow. Looking around, there was still an enormous open rice field to my left and right... The mountains could be seen in the distance.

And when I looked up, I saw how wonderful the formation of those big white clouds over a clear blue sky! It looks so fluffy, too! And it was real... I could fly!

"Oh!" I stopped running suddenly when I saw a grasshopper leaping by a small stream.

I bowed slightly and quietly walked to find it. When I saw it clinging to a blade of grass, I acted quickly to catch it, but before I could reach it, it sadly escaped. It was so elusive, that it was quickly hopping away as I tried to grab it.

Until I noticed that it was clinging to the man's head, who was sitting quietly on the edge of a small stream. He was also wearing an elementary school uniform like mine, he was doing something, and I saw his hand was dipped in the water.

"H'wag kang gagalaw," as I cautiously approached him, I told him that in a hush but he still moved! He turned to me as he glared at me with his cold eyes and his brows met. "Shhh!"

His brows met even more when he saw me coming closer to him, at agad na nga akong kumilos. Padampa kong hinuli 'yong tipaklong sa ulo niya at mabilis naman akong napaatras palayo sa kaniya no'ng mapalakas 'yon. Nakita ko na para siyang naumpog sa mga kamao ko!



"Ah!" I uttered in a shock. Nakita ko siyang napatulala sa nangyari at marahang napahimas do'n sa parte ng ulo niya na natamaan ko. I swallowed hard as his gaze on me got colder and colder!

It felt as though someone was tightening a grip around my throat, making it hard to say the word sorry to him. His gaze frightened me even more. And I was horrified when I saw the poor grasshopper struggling to escape from his fingers, he suddenly dipped it in the water while he was still looking at me.

He's drowning it!



"Ah! Wala kang awa!" Gumulo ang isipan ko sa nakita at para na akong maiiyak sa sobrang awa sa tipaklong, nailayo ko naman ang hawak kong tipaklong sa kaniya. Sa galit at takot ay tumakbo na ako palayo at saglit na nilingon siya. "Pupuntahan ka nila mamayang gabi sa pagtulog mo! Sana!" sigaw ko.

While walking home and processing what I'd just seen, I opened my hand slightly and peeked at the carefree grasshopper. I wonder how he can hurt such beautiful creatures like this. And why do some people are so unkind among the kind? Why was that man able to hurt the grasshopper which was harmless?

"I think he's just a bad guy, right?" I talked to the grasshopper.

I was at that moment when I heard the meow of a cat that was on top of the wall of Maddie's house. Nang may mapagtanto ay matuling tumakbo agad ako at umuwi.

"Fufu!" sigaw ko noong nasa gate na ako ng bahay. Nakita ko si Kuya Ikio sa garden na nagdidilig ng halaman, nakasimangot siya sa akin kaya binelat ko lang siya.

Tapos na yata siya sa ginagawa niyang paglilok no'ng kabayo. Nasira ko kasi no'ng isang araw 'yong statue ng kabayo sa may hagdanan. Kahit ako ang nakasira ay siya pa rin 'yong inutusan ni Mama na gumawa ng panibago, siya lang naman kasi ang marunong sa 'min na mag-sculpture.

"Pangit!" sigaw niya doon. "Yari ka sa 'kin mamaya!"

Kaya hayan, he is still annoyed with me. When I entered the house, I first took off my shoes and ran to put my bag on the sofa in the living room. Pumunta ako ng kusina at hinanap si Mama para magmano pero wala siya ro'n.

Pumunta ako ng pintuan at dinungaw si Kuya Ikio doon sa garden, nasa kamao ko pa rin 'yong tipaklong. "Si Mama?!" I asked loudly for him to hear me.

"Wala!" he said while still focusing his eyes on the flowers. "Pumuntang bayan. Namalengke."

Napanguso lang ako saka pumasok ulit sa loob.

"Sa 'kin 'yong hita ng manok na nasa ref., ah! H'wag mong galawin 'yon! Kokotongan kita!"

Napalabas ulit ako ng bahay sa sigaw ni Kuya Ikio.

"Anong sa 'yo? Pinatabi ko 'yon kay, Mama. H'wag kang ano diyan, Kuya!" I felt like I was about to cry.

Tumawa naman siya. "Nilawayan ko na 'yon!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at agad rin itong nangliit dahil sa galit na naramdaman. I can't clench my fist because I might crush the grasshopper. Sobrang sama niya talaga sa akin!

"Ang pangit mo!" I shouted before storming out and then re-entering the house.

"Ikaw 'yong pangit!"

Napapasinghap ako habang humahakbang paakyat ng kwarto. He's so mean to me. Always. Kaya ipapangako ko sa sarili ko, na paglaki ko at kapag naging mayaman ako, hindi ko siya bibigyan ng kahit ano mang parte ng fried chicken!

Never.

Sabi niya pa na pangit ako. Those elders find my smile cute, but I'm not sure what makes it special, it's actually the thing that Kuya Ikio doesn't want to see the most.

He teases me, tinatawag niya akong pangit kapag ngumingiti ako. Because of that, I don't want to smile at people anymore. And so I don't know which one of the two is true, is my smile really adorable or not at all?

Ah! Every time I smile, those elders laugh. But Kuya Ikio said, I'm ugly. So they don't find me cute, they laugh at me because my face looks funny, and I'm ugly!

My face scrunched up in annoyance. Napaka mean niya! Huminto ako sandali nang madaanan ko ang kwarto ni Ate Ingrid. I saw her at her study table, she was talking to her boyfriend while her fingers were curling her hair.

Butas-butas pa 'yong suot niyang damit, pati shorts niya luma na pero naka-make up pa siya. Hindi naman 'yon nakikita ng boyfriend niya kasi leeg saka mukha lang niya 'yong nakikita sa camera. Si Kuya Ikio, pareho sila ni Ate Ingrid na binu-bully ako.

Mabilis akong tumakbo at pinulot 'yong unan sa kama niya at saka ko 'yon malakas na binato sa kaniya. Nagulat siya, at mas lalo pa siyang nagulat at napabilog ang mga mata noong mahulog 'yong phone at nakita ang suot niya no'ng boyfriend niya.

"Isko!" malahalimaw na sigaw ni Ate.

Tumakbo ako nang mabilis papasok sa kwarto ko. Ni-lock ko kaagad ang pinto. And there, I heard her furiously banging on the door. Parang magigiba na niya 'yon!

"Kuya, si Isko, oh!" malakas na sigaw niya sa labas pasumbong kay Kuya Ikio.

"Ano na naman 'yan?!" Kuya Ikio shouted at the top of his lungs.

I just went to my table and took the jar and carefully put the grasshopper in it, not minding them.

"Oh, my god! Kuya! Nabasag 'yong screen protector ng phone ko! Kapapalit ko lang nito!" Napalingon ako saglit sa pinto at kinibit-balikat na lang 'yong sinigaw ni Ate.

I sat on the swivel chair and crossed my arms on the table. I rested my chin on it and watched the grasshopper hopping, she was trying to escape. I actually don't know her gender but, mas prefer ko kasi na tawagin siyang she. Maganda kasi siya.

"Itigil niyo na 'yan! Pag-uumpugin ko kayong dalawa diyan!"

Napaayos ako ng upo at tumingin sa pinto noong marinig ko 'yong sigaw ni Kuya Ikio. He sounds mad, mad!

"Mamaya ka sa 'kin... talaga!" patiling banta sa akin ni Ate Ingrid.

After a while, I just heard her big heavy feet walk away. Sa wakas, safe na! I stood up immediately and ran to my big wooden cabinet.

I slid its door to open it then I knelt down to look at Fufu underneath. Bahagya akong yumuko pa noong hindi ko siya nakita. Ipinasok ko na ang kamay ko sa ilalim pero hindi ko siya nakapa!

"Fufu!" I called him when I got up and then searched the entire room. I even looked under my bed but he wasn't there, too! "Meow... Ps-ps-ps-ps..."

I kept wandering the room and calling him, until I could feel the pain in my neck. Dahil yata 'to sa pagyuko ko ng ilang beses. I just sat on the bed to take a rest and when I let out a few deep breaths, napukaw na lang ang atensyon ko sa may bagong center table, at sa ilalim niyon ay sa wakas, nakita ko na rin siya! Nakita ko na si Fufu!

Mabilis akong tumakbo at lumuhod padulas sa sahig. When I got close to him, I quickly braked my knees and carefully petted Fufu. He was sleeping soundly, so I didn't want to wake him up.

"Wow..." My hands and eyes crawled on the table.

This isn't just a normal table, it was newly made and has a purpose too. It is a table and has a house underneath that he can live in. There's also a fluffy cloth that he can lie on, and to keep him warm. It was made really for Fufu!

"Isko! Pagkatapos mo palang kumain..." Narinig kong sigaw ni Kuya Ikio kaya mabilis akong tumayo at dumungaw sa bintana para tanawin siya. "Ibigay mo sa pusa 'yong tinabi ko do'n sa gilid ng lababo!"

My smile almost reached the sky when I left the window and hurried out of the room. I rushed down and stopped for a moment when I saw the newly made horse statue on the stairs. I rubbed its head carefully and then I ran out of the house to give Kuya Ikio a giant hug.

"Bakit?" Napahinto siya sa pagdidilig, nagulat sa ginawa ko. Pero nakita ko naman na natutuwa siya habang nakayukong nakatingin sa 'kin.

"Thank you..." I smiled widely at him.

"Baliw," he said while laughing. "Do'n ka na. Magbibigay pa 'ko ng patuka ng manok."

I immediately let go of the hug. "Okay!" I was still smiling at him as I slowly turned and walked towards the house.

I thought that when he found out that I brought home a kitten, he would report me to Mom! He always refuses to adopt a kitten every time we pass one on the road, so I really didn't expect this to happen. He even made Fufu a wonderful house!

"'Yong Ate mo pala nag-design no'n!" My mouth quickly lengthened and I stopped to face Kuya Ikio. He smiled and gestured to Ate Ingrid's room. He then pointed the hose he was holding at me. "Kaya mag-sorry ka do'n, ha?"



Binugahan niya ako ng tubig na nailagan ko naman.

I smiled and nodded. "Hmm!"

I didn't know that there was still some sweetness left in Ate Ingrid. Mabait pa rin naman pala siya! I went upstairs and peeked into her room, she was talking to her boyfriend again.

"Sorry!" malakas na sigaw ko sabay takbo at sarado ng pinto ng kwarto.

"Magpakita ka lang talaga sa 'kin!"

I just laughed teasingly and went to my shelf to get my encyclopedia book. It's all about animals, and the category I took was insects. I would try to find what kind of grasshopper I caught.

At buong maghapon ay ganoon lang ang ginawa ko, I read some more interesting insects that I like and after I found the type of grasshopper that I caught, I carefully released it into the yard. 

Kinagabihan ay oras na para puntahan ako ni Ate Ingrid para i-check ang mga activities at assignments ko sa school. I thought she would give me a fatal strike dahil 'yon 'yong sinigaw niya, but she didn't.

"Dragon Slayer?" Instead, she just burst out laughing.

"Ate, h'wag mo sasabihin kay, Mama, ha? Please... please... please..." I knelt on the bed and put my palms together, I was begging with her. "Sa 'yo na lang 'yong ballpen na napulot ko, promise, gusto mo 'yon, 'di ba? Please..."

She hummed while looking at me, thinking about what to do. Mabilis naman akong kumilos para kuhanin 'yong ballpen sa bag ko no'ng tumango siya. Pagkaabot ko niyon ay tumayo naman siya bigla at naglakad palabas, kaya agad akong bumaba ng kama para hilahin ang damit niya.

"Ma!" She still called mom! "Ma! Tingnan mo ginawa ni Isko sa homework niya!"

"H'wag, Ate!"

"Gusto niya maging Dragon Slayer in the future..." Mapang-asar ang tawa niya!

"Bakit ga?!" I was in tears while pulling her violently.

"Aray ko!" Madali lang niyang naialis ang kapit ko sa damit niya. Ang lakas niya! "Nasasaktan na 'ko, ah!"

"'Di naman 'yon mali, eh!"

"Anong hindi? Naglagay pa nga ng notes 'yong teacher mo..." She pointed to what was written in my homework. "Kakanood mo ng How To Train your Dragon 'yan. Saka 'di naman sila dragon slayer, vikings sila! Tanga."

"What's happening here?" I stood up straight when I saw Mom at the door. Even though she was struggling to walk because of her foot, she still hurried to get close to us. She was so worried.

"Ma, tingna mo 'tong gawa niya..." sumbong ni Ate!

Binigay niya kay Mama 'yong notebook ko. I just bit my lips when Mom saw that, but before she could bring her eyes to me, she looked at Ate Ingrid.

"What did I say when I was at home?"

Ate put a gap in her mouth. "Ah! We'll only speak in English. I'm sorry..." Nagtagalog siya kaya mababawasan na naman ang baon niya. Buti nga!

Mom is an English Teacher, she teaches kindergartners. We were not allowed to speak Filipino, she made a rule that when she was at home we would only speak in English.

Kuya Ikio and Ate Ingrid have encountered that rule before me so I don't know why we should follow that. I haven't asked them about it. It was like a curse, that you would get that from anyone related by blood. You have no choice and can't get away from it!

Curse, because once you make a mistake and you speak even one word of Filipino, your allowance would be reduced and you have no choice but to offer it to a big monster piggy bank that says it was for a Good Cause.



Good cause but it eats up our allowance. Right, it was so weird.

"What did he do this time?"

"Here, po." Ate Ingrid pointed her finger at my homework.

Nakita ko ang malalim na paghugot ng hininga ni Mama kaya napayuko na ako.

"Dead!" bulong ko.

Inutusan niya si Ate na ipagpatuloy 'yong nilulutong niyang ulam sa kusina kaya naman mas lalo pa akong kinabahan noong ako na lang ang naiwan. Bago siya umalis ay inasar niya pa ako, nakadila niyang pinakita sa akin 'yong ballpen ko at yari daw ako!

Mom sat at my study table and just silently looked at my homework. I pressed my lips and looked up at the ceiling as my body swayed. I wonder how I can ever make an excuse!

"Isko." I have been hearing my name in the wrong tone, lahat 'yon ay pasigaw, but when Mom called me, it was gentle.

I stopped and turned to Mom. She smiled at me and motioned for me to come to her, so I immediately walked toward her.



Hindi ako makatingin kay Mama, I'm just bending my head over. I feel like I'm going to cry. I pressed my lips. And in just one snap, I there started to cry kaya napahawak naman si Mama sa braso ko, nag-aalala.



She asked me why I was crying but I couldn't answer her. They make fun of me. They don't like my homework. And I don't understand why.



"I'm gonna ask you. Is there something wrong with the dream that you want to achieve in the future?"

"I don't know," sabi ko habang pinipigilang humikbi.

Bumuba si Mama sa pagkakaupo, lumuhod siya para makapantay ako at saka niya malamyos na pinunasan ang mga luha ko. Mom talks in a small voice and tries to calm me down.

When I still couldn't stop crying, Mom got up out of the blue and went to look at my notebook. She looked at it for a few minutes before leaving my room.

Mom hurried back, hiding her other hand behind her back. She bent down again, and put down the thing she was holding on the floor... it was a disco ball light. Then, Mom took both of my arms and gave me a warm smile.

"This!" Mom's cheerful and lively voice catches my attention. "Let's just imagine that this room is full of stars and every star that you can see contains every dream."

"Dream?" I asked in the middle of my sobs.

"Hmm! Dream! Doctor, a singer, a dancer, or even a plumber like your Dad. Each of them."

Mom lit the disco ball and then she got up to turn off the light. It wasn't until the tiny, circular lights started to appear all over the room that I realized I was no longer crying. I couldn't believe what I was seeing!

"But because there are so many stars, you suddenly cry..." Mom signaled me to pretend to cry, so I did while walking down as if I was lost. "You feel agitated. You feel so scared! You can't find your dream, and the star that's meant for you!"

"My Dream! Where are you!" sabi ko habang u-ma-acting!

"And then you run! Running faster!"

I ran around my room, continuing to act as if I were crying. Tumakbo ako nang mabilis at sinabayan naman ako ni Mama. I could hear Mom's laughter and so did mine. Natatawa na lang kami sa sobrang saya!

"You trip and fall!" I pretended to trip and fell on the floor, I couldn't help but laugh because Mom did the same! "Mama... Mama... you're looking for me but you can't find me because you're in a space! A very, very wide space!"

Mom spread out her arms, showing me the very wide space! Tumayo siya at may kinuha siya sa bulsa niya. Maingat siyang umikot habang ako naman ay nasa sahig pa rin, namamanghang pinapanood siya.

"And suddenly a fairy of the moon appeared... and it was me!" sinaboy niya 'yong kinuha niya sa bulsa niya at kumalat 'yong mga maliliit na pilas ng mga papel sa ere at sa buong kwarto!

My mouth and eyes just went round from what I saw when it all spilled on her! Mom really looks like a beautiful fairy! I stood up and just uttered a wow.

"And the fairy asks... why are you crying? Is there something magical that you're looking for? What is it?" Mom smiled at me.

"My dream!" I said with so much excitement.

"Oh, your dream? What is your dream?"

At first, I couldn't answer Mom's question, but when she smiled at me... I didn't think twice and doubt anymore.

"To be a Dragon Slayer..." I aggressively said like a brave Dragon Slayer!

"Oh, what an interesting dream! To be a Dragon Slayer! You're so adorable that you can almost trick everyone! They won't see you carrying such power and courage! Here..." Mom pointed to my heart and then my arm. "And also here!"

"Argh!" I flexed both of my arms and Mom and I just laughed at what I did.

"This is the only way you can find your dream. Just open your eyes... wide open!" I followed what Mom said. I spun to face the window when she turned me towards it. "Just walk to the north..."

I walked towards the north while Mom was behind me, following me.

"And there..." Huminto ako no'ng nasa tapat na kami ng bintana. Noong tumingala si Mama ay napasunod na rin ako ng tingin doon sa pinagmamasdan niya. "If you can see the big round twinkling star just right next to the moon..."

I tried to look for it.

"Oh! I saw it! I saw it!" And I just screamed for joy when I saw it. Natutuwang ginulo naman ni Mama ang buhok ko. "Ma! Is that my dream? Tell me please?!"

"Uhm..." Mom's eyes squinted, she was still thinking about what to say. "Yes! You saw it! That's yours!"

Sabay na kaming napasigaw sa sobrang tuwa. After everything I've been through on my journey, I finally found my dream!

"Whoa... Whoo-hoo!" I yelled while my eyes were on the stars. It was so beautiful! "Wow!"

"How did you feel when you found your dream?" Mom asked.

"I was so happy, Mom!" I happily said and Mom gently patted my head. "I was so scared at first because I was lost and thought I would never find my dream... until you appeared as a fairy. Mom, you are like a gorgeous light in the dark... a beautiful fairy that brought me to see my dream! You helped me! It was just so cool!"

Napasunod ang tingin ko kay Mama no'ng lumuhod siya para makapantay ako. She held my arm and her other hand was gently stroking my head.

"And that's what a dream should make you feel. You won't feel anything is wrong with it. Okay?"

"Hmm!" I nodded with a big smile. "Okay!"

"I know you would understand me. My baby boy is so smart! When you grow up, you can dream whatever you want and as many as you can, and be who you want to be. But for now, enjoy being a kid! Okay?" Mom squeezed my cheek with a smile before she got up and walked out. "After you finish cleaning your room, please go downstairs for dinner, okay?"

Dinig ko namang pahabol na sabi ni Mama.

"Ma?" nagrerebelde ang boses ko.

"I said what I said!"

Nagpakawala na lang ako ng mahabang buntong-hininga matapos makita 'yong mga kalat sa kwarto. I just put that out of my mind and I just smiled when I looked at that star again. 

Naghalumbaba ako sa bintana habang nakangiting pinagmasdan 'yon. I want to grow up quickly, I want to become an adult and make those dreams come true!

"Put it on the table. Careful, ha, it's hot," sabi ni Mama habang maingat na inabot sa akin 'yong malaking mangkok na may sinigang na baboy.

Tinutulungan namin ni Ate Ingrid si Mama na mag-prepare noong mga pagkain, at no'ng mahanda na namin lahat ay umupo na kami. Nag-pray naman si Ate Ingrid pagkatapos ay ito na 'yong exciting part... ang kumain!

I immediately scooped up some rice and looked for meat in the big bowl. Hindi ko alam kung ilang pirasong laman ng baboy ang meron ngayon sa sinigang namin, pero alam ko naman na agad na kapag nagsasabaw si Mama at may kamahalan ang ulam ay bilang lang sa anim o pito 'yong laman na binibili niya.

At kapag na ganito na wala pa si Kuya Ikio, 'matic na may nakatakip nang ulam sa gitna ng mesa... para sa kaniya 'yon. At kahit na hindi ko silipin kung ilang piraso ang laman ng baboy sa sinigang niya, alam kong tatlong piraso 'yon dahil apat lang ang nakikita ko sa mangkok namin.

"Why did you go home late, Ikio?" tanong ni Mama kay Kuya pagkalitaw niya roon sa pinto. Patapos na kami kumain at ngayon lang siya nakauwi. "Something happened at Ka Albert's shop?"

"May dinaanan lang," malamig na sabi ni Kuya. Napa-react naman ako noong marinig siyang mag-filipino.

Nilingon ko naman si Mama at napansin ko na nakasunod lang ang tingin niya kay Kuya na nag-aayos ng sarili, hindi niya siya sinaway. Sumubo lang ako ng pagkain habang nakamasid sa kanilang dalawa. Si Ate Ingrid naman ay busy sa phone niya.

At no'ng marinig ko 'yong padabog na pag-upo ni Kuya Ikio ay napatingin ako sa kaniya. Mukhang hindi siya okay, mukha siyang bad mood ngayon.

Nakita ko namang nakangiting bumuntong-hininga si Mama bago siya tumayo at tinanggal 'yong nakatakip sa ulam ni Kuya. Maingat niyang kinuha 'yon at ininit ulit. Habang iniinit 'yong sabaw at pagkatapos, ay tahimik lang sila. Hindi naman sila ganito.



"Nakasalubong ko si Tita Icel," nasa baba ang tingin ni Kuya nang sabihin 'yon matapos mailagay ni Mama ang mangkok sa gilid ng plato niya. "She's calling you that you're an inappropriate woman and stuff. Like you just stole Dad from Ms. Michelle. You and Dad cheated on her."



"Ikio?" Napahinto ako sa pagnguya at nilingon si Mama. Napayuko si Mama. Maya-maya ay nagsimula na siyang magligpit ng mga pinagkainan, na ipinagtaka naman namin ni Ate Ingrid. 'Yon ang pinaka ayaw ni Mama, ang magligpit ng pinagkainan habang may hindi pa tapos kumain. "Some things are best left unseen, and some things are best kept out of conversation since they are all in the past-"



"Hindi, Ma." Sabay kaming napalingon ni Ate Ingrid kay Kuya noong tumaas ang boses niya kay Mama na napahinto sa pagliligpit. Naibaba naman ni Ate Ingrid ang phone niya.

Nakikita ko na parang galit si Kuya dahil sa puntong 'to ay nakatingin na siya ng diretso kay Mama. Ilang saglit pa ay napababa na lang siya ng tingin sabay na tinulak palayo 'yong mangkok na may apat na laman ng baboy. Nagsimula siyang kumain na kanin lang ang kinakain.

"Ikio!"

"I'm so sick of it!" Napakapit na ako sa hawak kong kutsara noong makita si Kuya na parang nagpipigil ng emosyon. I don't know, but seeing him like that made me feel scared. "Sobrang rinding-rindi na 'ko sa mga naririnig ko sa kanila and knowing that... na 'yon talaga 'yong nangyari... it's just making me more sick of how you managed to marry a man who doesn't love you, Ma?"

Nang sabihin 'yon ni Kuya ay napalingon kami kay Mama. Napayuko ulit siya, nakita kong pareho niyang inipit ang mga labi niya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit galit si Kuya kay Mama. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya pinapagalitan si Mama.

"All of that is just lies." I heard Mom's voice shaking. "Huwag mo silang pakinggan-"



"Okay! Maniniwala ako sa 'yo, Ma!" Padabog na nagsandok ng kanin si Kuya pero hindi niya kinain 'yon, nakatitig lang siya ro'n bago muling tiningnan si Mama habang salubong ang mga kilay. "But I heard it from Dad na hindi ikaw 'yong mahal niya... no'ng araw na nagtalo kayo! So fine if it's not true that you both did that, but why did you still marry Dad if he doesn't love you? Bakit hindi mo na lang sila hinayang magpakasal-"



"Kung ibang tao ang pinakasalan ko," mabilis na pagsasalita ni Mama, the tone of her voice rose. "Hindi kayo isisilang dito, wala kayo rito sa mundo. Wala kayo sa tabi ko. Hindi ko kayo kasama."

"Kung 'yon lang din naman ang dahilan para pagsalitaan nila kayo ng ganon, mas gugustuhin ko pa 'yon!" Sabay kaming napatitig ni Ate Ingrid kay Kuya no'ng sumigaw siya. "Sana hindi na lang ako pinanganak!"

"Para mo na ring sinasabi na hindi na dapat nabuhay sina Ingrid at Isko! Mga kapatid mo!" They are yelling at each other and I feel like I'm going to cry. At nang tingnan ko si Ate Ingrid, ganoon na rin siya, pareho kaming natatakot na. "Ikio!"

"Oo! Kung hindi kami nabuhay hindi namin maririnig sa ibang tao na minamaliit ka nila! At pinagchi-chismasan ng kung anu-ano! Hindi ka namin nakikitang nasasaktan, Ma!" Napatakip na ng bibig si Ate Ingrid habang nakatingin siya kay Mama, and I saw her tears quickly run down on her cheeks. "Bata pa lang ako, nakikita ko na pinagkakaisahan ka na nila! Lahat sila!"

"Ganyan na talaga sila! Kaya hayaan mo na lang sila..."

"Ma? What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't just marry Dad and leave him to that rich woman!"

"Eat your dinner," may diing sabi ni Mama bago siya tumayo at muling nilapit 'yong mangkok sa gilid ng plato na inilayo ni Kuya Ikio. "Eat your dinner, and don't show me that you don't like what I cooked! N-Niluto ko pa ang paborito mo!"

Naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng gilid ng mga mata ko no'ng marinig ko ang pag-crack ng boses ni Mama. Si Kuya Ikio naman ay napatihimik bigla noong marinig ang sinabi ni Mama, nakayuko na siya.



"Gusto ko mag-aral ng kolehiyo... pero mas pinili ko na lang na magtrabaho." Pagsasalita ni Kuya. "Pinipilit ko na lang 'yong sarili ko na gusto ko ang ginagawa ko sa shop kasi... kasi 'yon naman ang hilig ko, e. 'Yon 'yong tinuro sa 'kin ni Dad. Pero no'ng magdesisyon ako na magtrabaho, hindi ko man lang narinig sa 'yo, Ma, kung bakit? Hindi mo man lang ako pinigilan at sinabihan na, hindi, mag-aral ka... gusto ko makapagtapos ka. Wala! Hinayaan mo lang ako!"

"Ikio-"



"'Yan si Ingrid!" Mas lalong natakot si Ate Ingrid noong pasigaw na tinuro siya ni Kuya. "Pangarap niyan maging Nurse kaya mas pinagtuunan mo ng pansin no'ng malaman mo pero sa 'kin, hindi mo 'ko tinanong! Kasi tama 'yong sinasabi nila Tita Icel saka ni Uncle Morris! Na mahirap lang tayo! Na hindi mo kaya! Hindi mo kami kayang pag-aralin lahat!"

"M-Ma..." I both pressed my lips together when I felt myself crying. Nanginginig na ang labi ko, at ilang sandali pa ay napa-iyak na lang ako nang malakas. "H-Hihinto na ba 'ko sa pag-aaral? Ayoko, Ma... gusto ko pa pong mag-aral... Promise po, gagalingan ko na po!"



Umiyak lang ako nang umiyak na halos hindi ko na sila maaninag dahil sa mga luha ko. Hinaplos naman ni Mama ang buhok ko at sina Kuya Ikio at Ate Ingrid naman ay nakatingin na sa akin.



"Gustong-gusto kong mag-aral, Ma." Pagsasalita ulit ni Kuya. "Pero 'yon 'yong dahilan kung bakit hindi mo 'ko tinanong kasi kailangan mo 'ko! Mahirap lang tayo, e!"

"Ma..." I heard Ate Ingrid's trembling voice. She was crying, too.

"Sana... hindi na lang ikaw 'yong naging nanay ko!"



"Kuya..." Napasigaw na si Ate Ingrid habang marahas niyang yinuyogyog ang braso ni Kuya Ikio. "Wala na nga si Dad, e! Bawiin mo 'yong sinabi mo! Bawiin mo, Kuya!"

In just a few split seconds, pigil akong napaiyak no'ng makita kong napayuko si Mama. I'm not sure why, but I felt a weight in my chest no'ng makita ko siya na gano'n. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang nasasaktan. Bakit ba kasi siya inaaway ni Kuya?!

Habang sinisigawan ni Ate si Kuya ay napatingala kaming lahat no'ng tumayo si Mama. Lumapit siya sa gilid ni Kuya at tahimik na kinuha 'yong plato niya. Inalis niya ang kanin at pinalitan 'yon ng bago na mainit-init pa. Ayaw ni Kuya na malamig na kanin.



"Kuya..." umiiyak na sambit ni Ate.



Tahimik lang si Mama habang inaasikaso niya 'yong sawsawan ni Kuya, may hinanda na rin pala siya para sa kaniya. Toyo 'yon na may sili. Nakabukod 'yon sa 'min dahil hindi namin kayang kumain ng maanghang.



Blanko lang na nakatingin si Kuya kay Mama, pinagmamasdan lang niya siya habang inaasikaso siya ni Mama. At no'ng malinisan ni Mama ang plato namin ay naglakad na siya papunta sa kusina.



I saw her shoulders moving habang buhat niya 'yong mga plato namin. Ilang sandali pa ay napatayo na kami no'ng mahulog iyong isang plato at nabasag.



"D-Diyan lang kayo, ha..." Hindi na kami nakalapit pa noong mahinahong pinigilan niya kami. Pagkatayo niya ay paika-ikang naglakad si Mama. Iyong paa niya, she has been suffering from her disabled foot for so many years.



Nakitang kong napakapit na lang si Mama roon sa lababo.

"M-Ma." Rinig kong nanginginig na boses ni Kuya Ikio. Nakita ko na lang siyang humihikbi habang nakatingin kay Mama. Mabilis siyang tumayo at nilapitan si Mama. Yinakap niya si Mama at narinig ko na nga siyang malakas na umiiyak. Kahit si Mama ay ay umiiyak na rin sa balikat ni Kuya. "I'm sorry, Ma..."



"Ma!" sambit ni Ate.

Tumayo na rin si Ate Ingrid at patakbong lumapit sa kanila at yinakap sila Kuya. Sumunod na rin ako, habang umiiyak ay mabilis akong tumakbo papunta sa kanila. Mga iyak na lang namin ang naririnig sa buong bahay.



"Anong gusto mo maging, ha? Ikio?" When Mom asked Kuya, he cried even harder. He's behaving more like a child than me.

*****