octavian augustus

When I heard the name Luke Castellan, I almost had an anxiety attack.

I excused myself and went to my room or cabin or whatever. The place I'm supposed to sleep when I'm here.

Once I locked the door, I called Paige, a friend of mine from Westport. We both moved out to the same relative area so we stay in touch. We we're really close with Luke. The three of us hung out all the time. She had a huge crush on him for a long time. She took it hard when he left. We all did. But yeah.

We had his funeral like 8 years ago, but of course everyone joked around with the idea of him just showing up one day to get his stuff. The joke kind of died but everyone still plays with the idea. What would happen. What everyone would say.

After all, we missed him. He always seemed happy at home. It was hard to believe it when he was just gone. At first we thought it was a kidnapping, but it wasn't. He didn't leave anything behind. But it... There was no signs to show it was a kidnapping, and when they noticed that May was on some hard drugs, they assumed he died on the run.

He was presumed dead 8 years ago. We had his funeral 8 years ago.

I still haven't gotten over it. He was my best friend. He could've passed for my brother. I kind of liked him, too. But like... I was able to shove it off because he was my best friend and I didn't want to ruin that with a fucked up relationship.

But he left. Without a word.

Without me.

My parents were kind of fucked up, too. That's how we became friends. Our parents did drugs together. We joked about leaving a lot. When we were older, we were going to get our licenses, and leave.

But he didn't want to wait, I guess. He was like 12 when we left. It was a few days after his 12th birthday.

He left me behind and that hurt. May blamed me for it, and I got hell from both May and my parents for it. I was suicidal for most of high school. I left as soon as I was able to drive. Which wasn't until I graduated because I couldn't pass the written test.

And I still struggle. I still have nightmares, and it's not because I'm related to a god. Most people assume that's what it is, because I guess that's normal.

But that's not it. It's from them and from Luke and I'm going to have a panic attack.

"Hey, Octavian!" At least she answered. "What's up? I was just about to make some lunch."

"He... Hey," I'm on the verge of something and it wasn't going to be hard for it to happen. "Um..."

"Octavian?" Paige said, sounding concerned. "Are you okay? Are you home yet?"

"I'm still in New York," I told her. "Um... I... I found Luke and..."

"You... Is he dead?" Paige asked me, her voice going soft.

I shook my head.

"No," I responded. "I don't... I didn't see which one he was. I just heard somebody say his name and then I sort of freaked out and he uh... He's here. I don't know how long he's been here. But he's here and I don't know what to do. It's been ten years. What do you say to someone after ten years?"

"Like I fucking know?" She responded. "I... Oh my God, sorry, I have to go. My fiance's parents are on their way. I'll talk to you later."

I had to stay in there for another ten minutes before going to lunch and I sat alone. Until Percy sat down next to me for some dumb reason. I don't think he even likes me.

"What..." I said. "Why are you sitting here?"

Percy shrugged.

"You looked lonely," he told me, taking a bite of his lunch. "There's a newish demigod today who said he was going to sit at lunch with me, I thought you guys would be good friends, too. Everyone can always use a new friend."

I closed my eyes for a moment and collected myself. Just the way that he said that.

You can always use a friend. Until they leave.

Then it's one of the hardest things to have. A friend. It's so hard to trust others.

It's just hard.

We were supposed to leave together.

What happened to doing everything together? What happened to best friends forever? What... What happened?

"Yeah." I responded after a moment. "That's true. But he's newish? Not just new?"

"He went here a long time ago," the son of Poseidon explained. "But stuff happened and he's been gone for a while. So most people that knew him are either dead or off on their own now. I don't think they'll let him stay for long, he wouldn't stay anyways, it's who he is. But had shit never happened, you guys would be around the same age. Shit happened, though, and he's my age. Just don't think about it too much."

"I won't." I assured him. "Did he die?"

"Um... I mean, eventually." Percy told me, a little confused. "I don't see why you'd care. But he left camp and he did a few dumb things which stunted his aging, and then he died last year, in the war. He managed to sneak out, though. Hades let him out."

"What's uh... What his name?"

"Luke," Percy answered my question, motioning at him as I saw him getting his lunch. Still a charmer. He's always somehow been a charmer. "Luke Castellan. Don't expect much if you ask about his mom. He ran away when he was younger. That's how he got here originally. He's a really nice guy, though."

"I..." I looked down, because I knew I wasn't going to last if he sat here and started talking to me. "Percy, can you uh..."

"So the food hasn't changed," I heard Luke say, and I think my body went into shock or maybe I was just overwhelmed. "Which is good. I think."

He saw me. And at this point I'm just hugging myself because I can't do it. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run away and just hide forever.

But I couldn't move.

"Who's this?" Luke asked and I could feel his look and it didn't help. "He's older, but I don't think I know him."

"He's Roman," Percy filled in why we shouldn't know each other. "This is Octavian Augustus, he's the Augur of Camp Jupiter and New Rome. He's your age. Or, your supposed age. You would been the same age h—"

"Percy." I could hear his voice tense up. Because where else do you meet someone with my name? It's not a common name. That's why I was named Octavian.

"Hm?"

"Can we talk?"

luke castellan

Out of anyone I could've been reunited with, I didn't want it to be him.

Like it sounds shitty, I know. He was my best friend and I felt bad leaving him behind because we always talked about leaving together.

But I knew it would hurt him the most. I didn't want to see the pain I caused him. What I put him through. And I knew Percy was going to introduce me to some older and newer Demigods. So I imagine Percy told him my name. Which is probably what set him into shock or whatever he was in.

Pain. I knew that.

"Is everything okay?" Percy asked me, sounding worried. And I know he meant well. He doesn't know. I never really talked about Octavian. Thalia might know. Assuming she remembers.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I insisted as we sat down in a monster ridden part of the woods. "But um... That was a really bad idea."

"Wh... Why?" He sounded confused, again, because he doesn't know.

"How do I..." I struggle to talk about what really happened back in Westport because it's just hard. My mom was a drug addict. Meth, heroin, opium, you name it, she did it. So did his parents. "When I ran away, I had a few friends because I wasn't a complete loner. And I had a friend that was in a situation pretty similar to mine. We we're best friends, and we had planned on running away together. When we were older, we we're going to get our licenses and leave Westport."

"Okay."

"That was Octavian," I explained to my boyfriend and I saw the dots connect in his mind. "We we're going to run away when we were like 15, 16 years old because both of our parents were hard into drugs and life sucked. But after I turned 12, my mom got really hard on me and she told me to leave and she gave me three days. On day three she told Octavian's parents I'd be staying with my grandparents for like a week and she beat the shit out of me and told me to leave. I didn't have a choice to wait, I had to leave. And I... I mean, I felt like a shitty friend when I left because I knew it would be ten times worse for him. And it probably was. But once I was gone, I didn't want to see him. It was hard coming back to you after I died. To see him..."

I had started to tear up, and Percy wiped them away, assuring me that it was going to be okay. It'll work out, whether I liked how it ended up or not.

"It just makes me feel really shitty," I finished my statement. "Then again, I thought the same thing when you were having a panic attack last night because I was dead. So yeah. You didn't know, it just... It was a bad idea."

We ate lunch there and walked around for a while after that, and I told him more about Westport..the shit I never really had the nerve to tell anyone else. The shit that Octavian and Octavian alone knew.

It was nice, though. I haven't opened up like that in a long time. I needed that.

Later on towards the end of the afternoon, I had noticed Octavian down by the docks. Looking like he was having a really hard time.

Knowing it wasn't the best idea, I made my way over to him, texting Percy beforehand just to make sure that there was somebody available in case one or both of us had a breakdown or a panic attack.

I didn't say anything first because once I got there, I didn't know what to say. And I decided to just kind of do what I had planned to do with anyone here. Mainly Annabeth, because I feel like her and Percy took it the hardest. Percy was a little different, though. We had something more romantic, where as Annabeth was like my little sister. My little girl.

"Hey," if I tried to stay casual, this might be fine. I can't make it a big deal. That just makes it more dramatic, and it's worse off for both of us. "you like the view? The lake's always been a nice place."

I noticed him tense up. He was letting it get to him. He was making himself think he couldn't do it. He couldn't talk to me.

"Hey," I repeated, a little sterner this time. I've had many conversations like this. It's nothing new. "Don't let it go to your head. You'll just make it worse for yourself. I know you're curious. I know you have questions. Everyone I've talked to in the last 24 hours have had questions for me."

He started to tear up, and I saw his grip tighten on the dock.

"Why?" Octavian asked me. "Why did you leave? We we're supposed to leave together."

Figuring it'd help him physically, I rubbed his back as I answered his question.

"I didn't have a choice," I explained to my childhood best friend. "I wanted to wait. But after my birthday party, Mom got pissed off with me and she told me I had three days to get out. She told your parents I was staying with my grandparents and on day three after I argued with her over the fact that I didn't want to leave yet, I wanted to wait for a while, she dragged me into the car, drove for a few hours, and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. I didn't know how to get back, so I started walking. Eventually I met Thalia, and then we found Annabeth behind a trash bin, and so we took her in and then Grocer found him and he brought is here and then Thalia died and I was left to take care of Annabeth and I'm sorry."

I stopped to catch my breath.

"Had Thanks never died," I insisted. "Or had I known where mom dropped me off, I would've gone back a lot sooner. But I was stuck here and it pissed me off but eventually I think I knew I had to stay here. Between the people here and how much it would hurt you guys for me to do back, I had to stay here. I figured you'd be like this. I'm not dumb. We we're best friends. I knew it hurt. It hurt for me, too. I just didn't have time to deal with it. And I feel bad about it. But I don't know what else to tell you. It's not a very good excuse. Once I got here, I kind of turned into a dumbass and I did some dumb things that got me killed. So if you ever thought I was dead well... I was for about a year. Not quite a year. But yeah. I'm sorry."

He had relaxed, and he didn't say much at first. Just kind of thought about that.

"Your mom kicked you out?"

I nodded my head.

"I tried to stick around." I insisted. "She sedated me and put me in the car and drove. That's why I couldn't find my way home. Did you get out of there?"

He nodded his head.

"Yeah," Octavian filled me in on his side of the story. "Not as soon as I'd like to of have. But dad lightened up on the drugs so I wasn't as bad after like we had your funeral which was two years after you left..and then uh, your mom overdosed, and so he stopped entirely when that happened. It kind of scared him. So he was tolerable. My mom just... I'm surprised she's not dead, too. But according to my dad, they're divorced now. He writes to me every month. Sometimes I responded. Most of the time I don't. Paige and I both moved out to California after we graduated and I stayed in New Rome because it's free and she lives in LA. She's engaged now. I told her you were here, I didn't say anything about you because it was right after I found out you were here and I freaked out and yeah. It can wait, though. I can tell her what you told me. Shell want to talk in person anyways. It's Paige."

"Yeah," I responded, feeling a little better about the situation. "She's always been fairly confrontational. All of us we're. But yeah. You gonna be okay?"

Again, Octavian nodded his head.

"I think so, yeah," he responded, sitting up and taking in a breath. "it helps to know that you didn't just walk out, too. Your mom never said anything. She probably forgot after a week, too. But it doesn't really matter anymore. You seem to be doing well here."

"You'd think so," I responded, shrugging. "Like I said, I did some dumb shit. I have a week to be moved out of here for good. If I even try coming back, I'll be executed."

He just kind of looked at me for a second, shocked that I would say that. Because yeah, we got in trouble as kids. But nothing too serious. Dumb shit. You look back and laugh.

I don't think I'll be laughing about the whole Kronos thing. Ever.

"I'm sorry," he responded. "What did you do?"

"Well," I explained. "You see, I can't stand my dad. And he pushed all of my buttons, so I wasn't in a good mood. I was pissed with him that day. And Kronos came to me in a dream, because you know, it's Kronos, and he said hey, join me and we can take care of your problem and it'll never bother you again. So I was a dumbass and said yes. After that summer, about five years ago, I left camp and I kept in contact with a few people. And by that I mean there was two of them. One was a spy who's now dead for unrelated reasons. Sort of. The other of which is Percy."

"So you and Percy do like know each other?"

"Yeah," I confirmed that for him. "And Percy and I stayed in contact because he didn't really have too many friends and he was struggling with some things with camp and so he talked to me about it and I mean, I was 17 forever. My aging stopped. We started dating eventually and let me tell you, that was hard to manage because he left camp and I led Kronos until Kronos took over my body two heard ago. It's a miracle nobody knew. Both if h would have been executed for treason. But we weren't. I died anyways because I realized I was a dumbass and yeah. Im back and it's either be out by the end if the week and never come back or be executed and I would rather not die again. I have a boyfriend who didn't take it well the last time I died. If I'm executed, he'd be the one who would have to kill me. It wouldn't end nicely. I feel like he might shoot himself."

"I feel like he would, too." Octavian agreed with that. "Like, no matter who it would be. I feel like he just couldn't live with doing that to someone when they never tried to hurt him. He's very moral-centered. But uh... Where will you be staying?"