perseus jackson

I didn't even trust myself to not break down for five minutes after my attack. So I just laid there. Staring at nothing. Not trusting to look at them.

And they didn't say anything. So I didn't know who it was. All I knew is that it wasn't Nico because Nico hand was a lot smaller and bonier.

It was their voice that gave away who they were.

"Hey," it was him, and that made me want to have another panic attack. "What happened to you? I thought you had gotten over your attacks."

I tensed up again my eyes welled up, one more sound from him away from crying.

I can't look at photos of us anymore without crying. I can't list n to video that he's in without losing it. I can't force anywhere that we used to go because it just makes me really upset. Because I missed him.

After he died, I tried to stop myself from doing dumb shit like this. Because I knew he'd be disappointed if he found out I had just gone back to my old ways. But it got harder and it's not like Annabeth ever cared. She doesn't believe in anxiety and depression and that kind of stuff. So if I did anything, she just yelled at me for being dumb and sometimes she slapped me. She didn't care. She still doesn't.

It's true that I once stopped. But he died, and it's like I never did stop. It's surprisingly easy to hide.

"It's okay," I went numb as tears started to fall as he said something else to me. He sat me up and leaned me against him on my bed. "I'm not a ghost, Percy. I'm not a projection, either. I'm real, okay? I'm here, I'm back. I got out and... And I'm back, okay? But please tell me you didn't go back to hurting yourself."

I opened my mouth for a moment but what was I going to say? He would know if I lied.

He grabbed me in a hug, and I didn't even have the energy to hug him back. I missed him. I missed him a lot.

But I didn't have the energy to show him that. To return the hug and tell him anything.

It just... It just hurt.

He kissed both of the wrists, noticing how had both of them were. How scratched up they were.

I was so out of it, I didn't care to tell him about Annabeth. I'd break up with her anyways. I was trying to get over him. But I guess I don't have to.

Unless, you know, he probably stopped caring. I wouldn't blame him.

"Hey," he said, trying to help me out like he always did before he died. "I know it's a lot. But how are you feeling?"

I just... I didn't have a word to properly suit his question.

"I, uh..." I'm just glad he remembered my plus Stitch because he's always calmed me down ever since he got it for me. It's the only time I can listen to him voice without breaking down. It calms me down and it smells like him and it helps me a lot, so he had given me that. "I don't know, worse than I look."

He pulled me into another hug and I cried into his shoulder for a while. He still smelled the same. It was a nice smell. I can't quite describe it, but it's that smell that just brings you back to that one really nice memory from when you were at home for w day or something. It smelled like home.

Or at least, to me, it did.

It had probably been an hour before I could actually function as a human being. He was patient, though. He's always been patient with me. No matter what.

Of course, he asked me why the hell I would start hurting myself again.

"I..." I started off. "After you died it was not really hard. And at first I was able to like tell myself that I can't hurt myself because you'd be let down but Annabeth kind of honed on me for a while and it just hurt and everything just hurts and it's numb and I want to kill myself most of the time but I knew that I did I'd either be brought back or like you just wouldn't be very happy with me and it... It hurts, Luke."

He cuddled with me for what I'm assuming was the rest of the night. He made me have a snack around dinner. He didn't make me leave my cabin or have a huge meal because he's been there when this happened before, and he knows I'll throw it up. So he just gave me a snack so I won't starve but I won't bother myself to throw it up. He made me drink water, though. That didn't really upset me. I drink water anyways.

But I fell asleep while we watching a movie, I think. I'm not really sure. But when I woke up it was from a nightmare, of course. And when I leaned to grab my water bottle from the stand, I guess it was just enough to wake him up.

"Hm..." Luke glanced at the clock and noticed it was the middle of the night. "Percy, are you okay?"

I nodded my head.

"Yeah," he knew what I meant. Of course I wasn't okay, but considering my normal state, I was. It wasn't like I was going to break down or kill myself right now. I was okay. "I just had a nightmare. Sorry, my mouth was dry and kind of annoying me."

"No, it's fine," he insisted, moving my hair out of my face and giving me a kiss on the forehead. "I just figured I'd ask..."

Luke thought about something for a moment.

"You're not cheating on anyone with me, are you?" He realized that it's been a year since he died. I was free game. "If you say Annabeth, I'll slap you because you didn't tell her you're gay."

"Well I mean..." I responded. "I thought she knew I was gay and she's very platonic so I thought it was a platonic kiss on the cheek because it was my birthday but when she texted me a month later saying happy one month um... I was going to break up with her over Christmas. But I kind of got amnesia. And uh yeah. That was kind of tomorrow's plan where you were here or not. So I don't know how you want to count that. It's been a year. But I didn't realize it for a month. And then we didn't see each other for three months. And then I had amnesia and was missing until like June. And then after that we we're dealing with war and I figured it was safer to wait until after being stuck on a ship together for a whole summer straight with six other people we barely knew to break up with her. Mainly because I don't want to like die."

Luke thought about that.

"I'm just going to say you're not and ignore that entire situation because it'll be over tomorrow."

I nodded my head, agreeing with the idea as I gave him a peck on the lips before laying back down. Luke wrapped his arms around me and I was basically laying on him. My head was on his shoulder with my one arm and leg dragged across his body. It was comfy, so I really didn't care.

And thank gods I had set up the break up message a month ago to send to her at 7:00 AM sharp because if she didn't get it, the others would've killed me that morning.

leo valdez

A little worried about Percy, we got all out gifts from yesterday along with the cake. We set up everything in his cabin, figuring he was still asleep. Nico warned us saying he was still probably not in the best of moods, but he could he enlightened today. There was a chance for him to have some fun.

And then Piper got a text from Annabeth. Or rather, a screenshot. She was pissed off.

It was like 9:00 here, mind you. Annabeth gets up super early for school. It's like 5:00 there. AM, mind you.

"What happened?" Hazel asked, curious as to why Annabeth would get so upset. And Piper just had to put down her phone for a minute and sit down.

"I..." She started off. "Percy broke up with Annabeth. Over a text he made like two weeks ago. Because he's gay."

That was a roller coaster of a sentence from start to finish.

"Well I mean- I'm sorry, he's what?" Jason questioned his girlfriend.

"Do you want to read it?"

He takes the phone and reads the text from Percy to Annabeth.

"Hey, Annabeth. Sorry if you end up walking up to this, I don't know when you're going home. But if you are, sorry.

I shouldn't have to do this. For a lot of reasons. But I have to, and I'm aware that it might shock you and it might come out of nowhere, but I probably won't send this for like telling weeks. Wait until the whole one year since the war shit it over and done. But I've tried telling you face and face and you've never really listened before, so a text will have to do. This send on the 19th, so I might not respond right away. I'll probably still be asleep because my birthday is bound to take a toll on me.

But I've dragged this out long enough. Both the text and you.

I'm breaking up with you, Annabeth. And I know you're going to want to fight it because it's been like a year and you liked me for really long time before we even dated. But here's the thing, I should've never said yes in the first place.

When we first got together, both of us we're going through a lot. You were looking for an actual relationship, and I was looking for a distraction from the pain. I thought that maybe being with you would help my friend, and it didn't.

If anything, and not because of you, it's gotten worse. But I can't carry out this relationship with you. I just don't think of you like that, I'm trying to get over something else, and to top it off, the one thing I think I've told everyone but you and the others on the ship: I'm gay.

It's kind of hard to date a straight girl when I'm a gay guy. And that's nothing new. I just never wanted to like shoot you down because I knew you liked me and Grover yelled at me a lot for it. Even more so after we got together.

So yeah, I'm sorry to be that guy and break up over text. But yeah. It's easier on both of us, I think. Good luck in college, though! I'm sure there's plenty of other guys that'll want to actually date you. Until then, I'll try and figure out how to move on with my life.

Your friend,

Percy."

We just looked at each other. And I asked Nico something.

"The guy you mentioned yesterday," I referenced back to suicide dude. "Are you sure it wasn't his boyfriend?"

Now Nico very indirectly came out to me yesterday during arts and crafts because he was just talking and it came out that he might like me and yeah.

We went on a date last night, it was really nice. We told the others it was a supply run. So we did have to buy stuff for them, but it was worth it.

So he was talking to me, probably not realizing the others could actually hear him.

"If I knew Percy was gay," the son of Hades informed me. "I would've gotten over myself and asked him out two years ago, probably get rejected, and wallow in my self pity. I didn't know he was gay until like now. He was better at hiding it than I am, he for a girlfriend! If he wasn't even out to her, I doubt he had a boyfriend, Leo."

I just kind of looked at him, and so did Jason. Everyone else was in pure shock, because that's a confession.

That's two people that have come out.

"Nico," I said.

"What?" He asked me, and Jason explained it for him.

"I've been telling you to come out for three months," my best friend insisted. "And you said you'd shoot yourself first. But you just came out. To everyone here."

"I did n-"

"I would've asked him out and probably get rejected and wallow in self pity," I mean, at least Hazel took it well. "Nico, news flash, that's called a crush, and that means you're kind of gay."

And then he realized what actually came out of his mouth and just sat there. Giving up. He was done.

perseus jackson

When I woke up, or actually woke up and didn't try to sleep more, Luke was awake. And he looked a little concerned.

"Hm?" I asked him, looking up at his face.

"I think there might be people here waiting for you?" He said, a little confused. "I don't recognize the voices, though. Did you wake up earlier and send a break up to Annabeth?"

How the hell...?

"I had it set up so it's send at nine." I explained to him. "Why?"

"I think Annabeth sent it to somebody. You've been outed."

Did I give a shit about being out? No.

I shrugged it off. But we heard somebody walking towards the room, so we pretended to still be asleep.

It was fucking Leo.

"H-" Leo stopped himself as I let myself be comfy in Luke's embrace. I missed cuddling with him every night. "Well I don't think this was the guy that died last year because you know, he died. But Percy's got a hunk of meat already, I think it's safe to say he sent that message."

So of course, everyone came to the door and looked.

"No, that's uh..." Nico told him. "That's the guy. That died. A year ago. I..."

Nico sighed.

"I give up."

I smiled into Luke's shoulder, knowing they wouldn't be able to tell.

And if they could tell, I don't think they'd think much of it.

Not long after they left the room, I actually got up and got dressed. When I left my room, of course, they had a mini party set up.

It was a little weird, though, and I did notice it almost right away.

"But happy birthday, dude," Leo told me. "Nico's daily announcement is that he would've asked you two years ago if he knew you were gay. So do with that info what you please."

I looked at Nico, confused.

He shrugged.

"I would've agreed for a date two months ago," he told me. "You're too late now."

"I..." And I just said whatever. "You know what, okay. I don't care."