CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR: STOPLIGHT !

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2012

SPENCER REID AND CASEY WILLOWS HAD JUST MADE IT OFFICIAL. Casey admitted her feelings for Spencer and now, they're in a local coffee shop that was open twenty-four hours at eight o'clock at night. Casey had no idea what to call him now, her boyfriend? She didn't care, as long as she could always be with him.

They spent their time in the coffee, asking each other questions, trying to get to know each other better like they had just met each other.

"So, when did you realize that you liked me?" Casey questions, curiously as she sipped from her coffee cup. "A couple of times, actually." Spencer admitted truthfully, tucking his hair behind his ears in nervousness. "I think the first time may have been the first time you got shot. And you... you wanted me to stay with you. Why did you want me to stay with you?" He wondered.

Casey shrugged, "I... just felt comforted... knowing you were there." Spencer smiled a bit, that same dopey smile Casey found adorable.

Spencer reached over and grabbed Casey's hand and Casey realized how his hand just fit like a glove. Just perfectly. "You know... I've always..." Spencer couldn't even find the right words to say here. "I always thought I was never gonna find that type of happiness. In someone. You know, I've always been weird and lanky and awkward. But you made me embrace that side of myself."

Casey smiled and blushed as he spoke to her in such a loving way. She could get used to that. "Good," She said. "Because I like you that way." They both laugh and Casey leans closer to him to kiss him.

The woman felt Spencer smile into the kiss and cupped her face with his large hands, hands she wanted to feel all the time. Casey then pulled away for a breath of air nearly abruptly and before Spencer could chase her lips with his, she pushed him away gently. "Sorry." She said.

Spencer furrowed his brows in confusion. "What?" He asked. "I can't stop kissing you." Casey chuckled and Spencer shrugged, "I don't mind." He was about to try and kiss her again but Casey put a hand on his shoulder. "Even the germs?" She questioned.

"I have always said it's safer to kiss," Spencer told. "With the number of pathogens in—"

Casey interrupts him. "In germs and all that stuff." With that, Spencer pulled her in for another kiss. He could remember how soft her lips felt against his forever. And with his eidetic memory, he could get used to this.

      Casey kissed him a little bit rougher, running her hand through his locks and she finally pulled away to catch her breath. "Is it possible for kissing to make you go dumb?" She questioned.

      "We can always test that theory." Spencer tells and Casey smirked, putting a hand on his thigh under the table. "Well, let's go to my place and let's test it." She teased and Spencer nodded vehemently, his cheeks turning pink.
"O-Okay."

        Their relationship had been the start of many things and for months, it was their little secret and sometimes, Casey wondered if maybe things were better kept as a secret. But deep down, she knew she wouldn't change a thing.

PRESENT DAY, 2017

        Spencer and Casey sat in the room on opposite sides of the couch in their therapists' office. Dr. Carter was an FBI licensed therapist who had been in charge of listening to those in the FBI that had their own issues. In this case, Spencer and Casey's marriage.

        "So, Dr. Reid, Agent Willows," Dr. Carter started. "You are both here in regards of your marriage?" She asked and the couple both nod. Dr. Carter sets her board aside and folds her hands on her lap. "Could you both tell me in a few words why you're here exactly? I'd like to gain a little perspective from both sides of the marriage."

Both Casey and Spencer look at one another, both wondering who's gonna start first. And before Spencer could answer with a form of stutters, Casey answered for both of them. "We've been fighting a lot." Spencer adds, "A lot... recently."

"And... we got into this really really big fight a few weeks ago and..." Spencer turns to Casey to speak next. "We don't know how to come back from it. We're worried that we won't. We've been going through a lot."

Spencer nods, "A lot with my mother... who has schizophrenia and was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's." Casey added from there, "And a lot with our son, Christopher, he's four and we just found out he has acute myeloid leukemia."

Dr. Carter shakes her head and looks at the couple apologetically. "I'm sorry to hear that." She tells. There's a pause as Dr. Carter settles. "Let's start with the basics so I know a little a bit about you two. How did you two meet?"

Spencer looks at Casey to speak. "My uncle was his mentor." She told. "Agent Jason Gideon?" The woman asked and Casey nods, pointing to the woman. "That's him."

"She, uh, used to come around the office a lot to bug him as well as the rest of our team." Spencer smiled at the memories.

"And soon after Agent Gideon left, you joined the team, correct?" Dr. Carter asks and Casey nodded, "As an intern, yes."

"And it wasn't until your third year as being a profiler that you and Dr. Reid here developed a relationship?" Dr. Carter questions and Casey nodded again, "That's correct. Yeah."

Dr. Carter reads from a piece of paper. "Youngest members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Impressive on both of your parts." She compliments and looks at the two again. "I'd like to maybe delve into your past a bit around the time you got together so I can understand the type of couple that you are. Let's start with something simple. How about your first date?"

Both Casey and Spencer look at one another. They could both remember that like it was yesterday.

2012

To say their first date was bad was an understatement. It was a freaking disaster. Spencer had made dinner reservations at a restaurant Casey told him about and when they arrived, they found out the reservations were never submitted and so they had to find another place to have their date.

          They ended up going to a Thai place that Spencer and Casey had gone to most of the time and their date was pretty good for the most part despite them being sat at the worst booth in the place.

           After that, Spencer and Casey had planned to take a night stroll but once they exited the restaurant, they discovered that it was pouring rain. And since they both decided not to drive and no taxis were around, they had to walk back to Spencer's place in the rain.

           Spencer being the gentlemen he was gave Casey his jacket to put around her body and head so she wouldn't get soaked. But the rain was coming down hard and it soaked both of them.

         They both made their way up there steps to Spencer's apartment, leaving puddles behind them as they made their way to Spencer's apartment door. Getting the keys out of his pocket with his cold hands, he fiddled with the keys for a minute before letting Casey in his apartment before himself.

        Casey had taken off the soaked jacket as Spencer shook his hair like a wet dog. "I am so sorry about tonight." He told genuinely as he placed the keys on the table beside the door.

       "It's okay, Spencer." Casey told, shaking the water out of her ear. "No, it's not." Spencer sighed. "I thought I made dinner reservations only to discover I didn't do that and we had to go to that Thai place down the street and then a night walk which only ended in rain. I'm so sorry, I really tried to make this perfect." Spencer scolded himself. He had taken the liberty to google 'how to make a date perfect' only to have this end not perfectly.

       Casey made Spencer stop by placing her warm hands around his cold face and pushing a strand of wet hair away from his eyes. "Hey." She said. "It's perfect because I'm with you and that's all that matters to me, okay?"

      Spencer sighed, knowing Casey hated when he beat himself up. "Okay." He nodded.

     "Now, let's go cuddle." Casey smirked as she grabs his hand. "That sounds nice." Spencer smiles as Casey leads him to his own bedroom.

Spencer began to undress out of his wet clothes and realized Casey was still in her own dress, which she was currently trying to wring out the water from the end of her dress in the bathroom.

Spencer walked towards the door and looked at his girlfriend and spoke, "Uh, d-do you want my clothes?" Casey looked at him and Spencer tried to reword it as best as he could. "I mean, since you're wearing a dress, maybe I-I-I'd give you—"

"Whadaya got?" Casey wondered and followed him into his bedroom. He had grabbed one of his cardigans. It was his red one that Casey had seen him wear him before and secretly wished she had gotten to wear before.

Spencer holds the cardigan to her. "Uh... here." He says and Casey smiles. "Thanks." She excused herself to change into the cardigan in the bathroom.

Once Casey put it on, she immediately smelt his scent on it. Lavender and coffee. She smiled digging her nose into the long sleeve that hung over her hands. She looked at herself in the mirror and buttoned his cardigan up all the way so Spencer wouldn't have a heart attack when she walked out of the bathroom. Making sure no extra part of her showed, she pulled down the cardigan over her bare legs and realized it cover the bottom half of her thighs and she was satisfied with that.

        Casey opened the door and walked back to Spencer's room to see him in his pajamas which consisted of Star Trek pajama pants and a plane white tee and had seen him setting the bed up. Once he heard the door open though, his eyes were only on Casey and Casey only. He smiled to himself as he had seen her walk out and Casey had noticed his little smile.

"What?" Casey chuckled and Spencer shook his head, "Nothing, I, just... I could get used to you in my clothes." He admitted, a blush creeping on his cold cheeks. Casey smiled once she saw him blush. "Really?"

       Spencer nodded as Casey approached closer to him, looking at him and fiddling with the hem on his white shirt. "'Cuz I could get used to you without any." She teased and Spencer furrowed his brows. "What do you mean—?" He asked but Casey had already yanked his shirt over his head and he then widened his eyes. "Oh."

       Casey had pushed him on the bed and began to kiss his lips for damn near a minute. When Spencer finally pulled away for a breather, he looked his girlfriend and nods, "Yeah, I could get used to that with you, too." Casey giggled as she kissed him even more.

PRESENT DAY, 2017

"You both had your son soon after, right?" Dr. Carter questioned, snapping both Spencer and Casey out of the memories they shared when they first started dating. They were so happy back then.

"It was a year after." Spencer nods. "And that progressed your relationship rather efficiently, you would say?" Dr. Carter asked curiously and Spencer nodded again, "Yeah."

"Well..." Casey replied with and Spencer looked her way in confusion but Casey was quick to clarify herself. "I don't regret having Christopher. I don't. He's the light of my life." She took a puss to let that linger in her husband's mind. "But... maybe if we had waited and got married and then have a kid. I just wanna be truthful to you. I feel like maybe we moved a little too fast in our relationship."

There were moments where Casey felt like she hadn't truly enjoyed Spencer as much as she should've. Because one minute they were boyfriend and girlfriend and the next they were both becoming parents to a child. She didn't regret it, of course, she just wished she had more time to prepare her life with him beforehand.

       "I thought we moved at the right pace." Spencer vocalized. "I mean, sure, it would've been ideal if maybe we married beforehand but I don't regret it. You and I spent years wanting to be together. I don't regret a single minute." Spencer told truthfully on his point-of-view.

        Spencer paused and then spoke again. "You know how I knew we were meant to be?" He asks and Casey waits for the answer. "Because the minute you met my mom, she gave me your wedding ring and she told me not to screw it up."

2012

         Casey was nervous to say the least. They had flown to Vegas for this. She was finally officially meeting Spencer's mother. This time, not as Agent Casey Willows, but as Spencer's girlfriend, Casey.

They were currently in the facility, Casey being introduced to most of the doctors that knew Spencer from all the times he came to visit his mother. Luckily, it had been one of the better days for Diana.

"Mom?" Spencer approached her first since Casey had met him. Casey didn't want to confuse Diana so she stayed little ways away. Diana looked up at her son from her book. "Hey, Mom." He greeted.

Diana smiled, "Spencer, what a surprise to see you here." She tells and Spencer smiled back at his mom. From a distance, Casey could tell how similar their smiles were. It was hard to see how they would be alike but in ways, they did.

"Just thought I'd give you a visit, it's been a while. I actually have someone here for you to, uh, officially meet." With that, Spencer ushered his girlfriend over to him, waving her over a bit. Casey hesitantly walked over to them as Spencer grabbed her hand in front of his mother.

"Mom, this is Casey, my girlfriend." That was the first time Casey had heard him say that out loud. "You've met her before, remember? On that case a couple of years ago with Dad?" Spencer reminded.

Diana looked up at the girl and Casey smiled politely down at her in her seat. "Hi, Diana." She said.

There's a pause as Diana looks in between them and all of Casey's fears feel like they're coming true. She hates me. Oh, my God. She hates me! But to Casey's surprise, that wasn't true.

"Well, it's about time." Diana told her son as Casey furrowed her eyebrows at Diana and then at her boyfriend. Diana looks at the girl in front of her. "You know, in his letters, he always talked about you."

Spencer looked down with a small blush creeping on his face. He definitely didn't want Casey knowing that but the cat was out of the bag now. Casey smiled over at Spencer and blushed along right with him.

Casey looks down at the book in Diana's hands and points at it. "'King Arthur and the Legends of the Round Table'. I had a copy in high school." Casey told. "You know anything about 15th century literature, Casey?" Diana decided to ask and Casey seated herself in front of her.

"A few excerpts here and there. We were required to read most of the material in high school. Spencer doesn't know this but I was kind of a literature buff back than." Casey told.

"You were?" Diana asked. Casey nods, "You would be too if you were fifteen and graduating from high school at that age." She joked.

Diana looks at Spencer and grabs his hand. "I like her already." Casey smiled at words coming out of Diana's mouth and Spencer smiled at the two interacting about 15th century literature and how Diana used to be a professor that taught literature and she told her how she used to read Spencer the books that formed his already grown intelligence. Much like her son, Diana was pretty much a genius herself despite the schizophrenia that clouded her mind most of the time. But if you sat with her and had a conversation with her, you could see how much her son resembled her.

At one point, Casey had gone to use the restroom, leaving Spencer to talk with his mother. Since Casey had gotten here, Diana spent most of her time talking to Casey. When Casey was out of sight, Diana called her son over.

"Spencer." The man furrowed his brows as he sat next to his mother. Diana had taken off the wedding ring on her finger and handed it over to Spencer. "Take this."

Spencer's eyes widened at what his mother was doing. "Mom, is that...?" Diana nodded, "My wedding ring. And you give it to her when you are ready because that is a woman you do not let go of. Do not screw it up because I really like her."

The Reid nodded and looked at the ring in the middle of his palm and smiled. Maybe one day. Just one day. He looked back at his mother. "I promise, Mom. But your wedding ring? Are you sure?"

Diana nods, "I don't need it anymore." She tells. This was the wedding ring Spencer's father had given her. Of course, she didn't need it as much as she had wanted to wait for him. Maybe he'd come back to her. But that wasn't possible anymore. Diana saw Casey as someone that would never leave Spencer like William left her. She knew Spencer's fears, having a marriage that would end like hers did, but with him developing schizophrenia. Casey would never leave no matter how bad it would get. She knew that. She'd stay with him through the ups and downs if that were to ever happen. And that was something she knew in her heart.

With the assurance, Spencer slid the wedding band in his pocket before Casey could come back. Maybe one day. Just maybe. Maybe she'd be Mrs. Casey Reid. That had a nice ring to it. But maybe she'd keep her last name so no one could get confused at work. But honestly if she kept the name or didn't, it didn't matter, because as long as he could call her his... wife... that's all that mattered to Spencer Reid.

But they'd just started dating! He knew he needed to give it some time, of course. Maybe a year or two from now. Maybe. Just maybe.

2013

Casey Willows hated pregnancy. She swore after she had this baby, she was done. No more after that. Being eight months pregnant sucked, for lack of a better word. She could do most things since Spencer wanted to make sure she was always relaxed and didn't strain herself from doing too much with a belly forming.

But here she was, stubborn as ever, cleaning house simply because 'things looked dirty'. Pregnancy definitely made her neater than ever. She had done the dishes, cleaned the living room as much as she could and was currently wiping down the counters.

When her back started hurting, she realized she hadn't taken a seat in a while. She sighed, leaning against the counter for some amount of support. Spencer had come back from going to the grocery store and had noticed his wife over the counter.

"You okay?" Spencer asked almost immediately and Casey nodded, taking deep breaths. "Yeah. Just... my back hurts. I've been standing all day cleaning around the house."

"You know you're supposed to be resting." Spencer told. "I know, but I figured elbow-greased labor could induce... labor." Casey stated.

Spencer wondered what he could do to make her feel better. Surely, his massages could do the trick but he had another idea, maybe even a better one. "Here, I read about this somewhere. Just lean on me." He tells.

Casey stood up, her back to Spencer's and she did what he told her and leaned some of her weight on him. Spencer had tucked his face into Casey's neck and glided his hands underneath her stomach, cupping them together. When he's satisfied with where his hands are placed, he gently lifts up her stomach, causing Casey to be filled with relief as she lets a moan out. Spencer stays there for a minute, holding the weight of her belly.

       "You okay?" Spencer asks, his hot breath on her neck and Casey nods a bit. "Better than ever." With that, Spencer gently drops the stomach back down to the full weight again and Casey groans and takes a breath.

       "Where'd you read that? How To Make Your Baby Mama Happy In Less Than Five Minutes?" Casey joked, causing Spencer to laugh along with her. He'd done his research on websites and books while she would sleep most of the time since he never really did sleep as much.

        Spencer leads Casey over to the couch and has her put her feet up and gets her the dill pickle she'd been wanting and that was why Spencer went to the store. He sat at the end of the couch, placing her feet in his lap, giving her a well-deserved foot massage as she happily ate her pickle. He complimented how the apartment looked, making Casey smile in gratitude.

        As they sat there, Spencer spoke up again. "You know, I was thinking, if the baby's a girl, we should name her after my mom. If-If you want." He tells and Casey smiles at him. "I was actually thinking maybe Stephanie Diana for a name. After your mom and my mom. Or maybe Violet Diana." Casey puts a hand on her belly.

        Spencer furrows his brows. "Violet?" He asks. Casey shrugged, "I've always wanted a daughter named Violet."

       "What about boy names?" Spencer asks.
        Casey thought for a minute. "I would like Gideon to be the middle name, if that's okay. I mean, it'd be a dope first name but he'd probably hate us for it." She chuckled.
        Spencer smiled. His mentor and her uncle, who practically brought them together. It'd be fitting for their son to be named after him. "I'd like that." He tells.

       "What do you think we're having?" Casey asks as she runs a hand over her stomach. Spencer's hand followed hers as he placed his hand on her belly. "Feels like a girl." He tells, truthfully.

       Casey furrows her brows. "Really? I think it might be a boy." She tells. "What makes you say that?" Spencer asked and Casey shrugged, "Just feels like a boy." She then points her pickle towards Spencer. "You're just saying it feels like a girl because you want a girl."

      Spencer squints his eyes at the accusation but gives in. "Maybe," He says with a tone. "But statistically, I'm a genius so... technically, I could be right."

      "Don't forget who beats you at card games from time to time." Casey teased and Spencer sighs, "How could I forget? Even with an eidetic memory, you still manage to remind me."

       Casey nods, "Yeah, sounds about right."

       Even with their little banter about what they were having, Casey and Spencer both knew that no matter what they'd be happy with whatever they'd have. But Casey wanted a boy and Spencer wanted a girl.

        And we all know who won that bet.

PRESENT DAY, 2017

        Things were going pretty well during the appointment. But looking back at these memories began to spiral Spencer and Casey at their worst. It started small, it started with the root of the problem. The main reason why they were here in the first place.

        Spencer paced around the room, wondering how to process the words that came out of Casey's mouth. "Okay, I still don't see what I did wrong here. You wanted the exact same things I wanted, Casey. What does it matter that I've made some decisions?"

      "You don't—?" Casey paused and looks at her husband from the couch. "Spencer, every single thing with our son you've decided. And you decided that your mother would be moving in with us. Just last week, you decided to switch our milks from whole milk to oat milk."

       "Oat milk typically has fewer calories, more health benefits and above all, a much smaller environmental impact." Spencer argued and Casey rolled her eyes and tossed an arm over to Spencer. "And here he goes, relying on statistics like he always does."

       "You like my statistics—"
       "Not when they're being used against me when I'm trying to make a point." Casey argued.

       Spencer brought his hands behind his neck as he shook his head. "Oh, my God." He scoffed. Casey looked at her husband. "What?" Spencer turned to his wife. "You're unbelievable, that's what." And from here on out, argument after argument ensued.

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       "I'm selfish?!" Spencer questioned.

        "You always make everything about yourself! It's the same selfish obsession!" Casey was no longer sitting on the couch, she was standing before Spencer and their therapist watched as the show continued. "You did it when Gideon died, when I found about Leah and Isaac, when I got shot and now this! Our whole relationship is based on what you feel, what you think!"

        "You do the exact same thing!" Spencer told. "How?! How? Give me an example!" Casey crossed her arms and Spencer followed, mimicking what she had just done.

        "What about the time I called you a tramp?" He reminded and Casey shook her head. "That does not count! We weren't even together then."

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        "You hesitated." Spencer pointed. Now, he was the one sitting on the couch with his head in his hands while Casey stood over him. "I thought we were past that! You said you were fine with waiting to get married at the time!" Casey told.

        "I was! Until I wasn't!" Spencer told. "You hesitated every time we had to deal with a case that involved marriage. We got married on a freaking notepad sheet for God's sake!"

        "So what I have commitment issues! People wait 10 years before they get married! Look at JJ and Will!" Casey reminded Spencer at the relationship of her coworkers.

       "You didn't want to get married to me before and you knew you didn't want to on our wedding day. You tried finding excuses for us not to get married!"
        "So did you!" Casey yelled. "Okay, I admit, the first time, when you got shot in the neck, I wasn't ready but I was sure the second time. You were the one that was scared!"

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        "Who takes care of Christopher? Who changed his diapers from time to time? Who reads him a bedtime story every night? Who was busy with him while you stayed in our bedroom doing nothing?" Spencer spat, standing over his wife as she stood across the room, avoiding to hit anything in her way.

       "It's called postpartum depression, Spencer! Rewire your gears in that eidetic memory of yours for a minute because last time I checked, I spend more time with him than you do." Casey jabbed.

       "That's not what this is about!"
       "What is it about then?"

       "Do you even love Christopher?" Spencer questioned and Casey couldn't believe what he had just asked her and she gave him a look of disbelief. "Now, why would you ask me that? Of course I love him. You're the one treating him like a Guinea pig and taking him to stupid clinical trials he doesn't need."

        "Those are to help him get better!"
        "To help him get better or for you to achieve your goal for wanting to cure something?"

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         "And we're back to this," Casey scoffed, leaning against one of the bookshelves as Spencer sat in the armrest of the couch. "I don't know how many times I have to say that I'm sorry!" Casey told.

          "I can't believe you even said that. Instead of ever helping with my addiction, you've used it against me!" Spencer stated. "Like you haven't used my drinking against me? I have no idea why I keep trying but for the trillionth time, I'm sorry! Now, how about you apologize for what you said?"

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        "And then Lennox left!" Spencer stated, seating on the couch and Casey had been sitting right next to him, on the armrest though, as far as she could. She pointed at him. "Don't! Don't bring her into this!"

       "Who's Lennox?" Dr. Carter asked.

       "She was the foster kid we were gonna take in," Spencer answered. "Casey had an attachment to her."

       "Like you weren't attached to her either? What does she have to do with this?" Casey furrowed her brows in the upmost confusion. "You didn't even bother to ask me how I felt when you told her caseworker you wanted to adopt her." Spence told.

        Casey scoffed, "And was that your way getting back to me? Because I made one decision?"
        "Yeah, a decision that changed our lives, Casey!" Spencer argued.
        "Like you aren't changing our lives with the hectic decisions you're making?"

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         "God, Spencer, you're being so much like your father." Casey told. This time, she was on the couch, resting her hand on her knuckle and Spencer paced the room but stopped once Casey said that and pointed at her. "Do not compare me to my father."

         "I didn't say I compared you, I said you were acting like him." Casey clarified and Spencer scoffed, "You're exactly like your father." Casey looked at him in disbelief. "Every single thing you complained about him, you are doing with Christopher."

          Casey stood up from the couch in shock. "I'm not like my father!"

         "You are," Spencer nodded. "And you're like my father and my mother."

         "How?"

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         "You are losing me," Casey spat. "More than you realize. Every single thing we go through together, you shut me out. And every single time that happens, I think to myself: 'Do something!'. Why can't you just do something and for once not take it to heart?!"

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         Spencer shook his head. "You didn't love me as much as I loved you! That was the problem! And every time I would look at you, all I could see was hate! Hate for me, hate for the life you had once we had Christopher. You never wanted that and now you resent me for it!"

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        "Sometimes, it's like you don't understand me."

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         "Sometimes, it's like you don't understand me."

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         "Alright, enough!" Dr. Carter had listened to their constant bickering for an hour and a half. She was happy she was going to be getting her money's worth after hearing all she did from the two. It was like she knew the couples' life stories with how much they were spitting out.

         Spencer and Casey stood in front of one another and then looked down at their therapist, realizing they had an audience to their fights. They looked at another, actually feeling a bit better since they had gotten out what they had gotten out.

        "Sit." Dr. Carter ordered and Spencer and Casey did as they were told and sat on opposite ends of the couch. Dr. Carter leaned forward, looking in between the two. "You two clearly have a lot of problems and you're letting your trauma get in the way of both of you healing. All of these things I've heard. I'm surprised you two haven't killed each other by now. The arguing technique helps relinquish all of the bad thoughts we keep inside. What you two did today... was... something. But now, I need you two to say the good things about each other. Things you love about each other. Take that hate and make into something good."

        "Casey," Dr. Carter looked towards the woman first. "I want you to look at me and tell me what you've wanted to tell Spencer for a long time."

        Casey looks down at her lap uncomfortably, holding her emotions on display like this. She fiddles with her hands, picking her fingernails and sighing, wanting to tell Spencer what she'd been feeling. And so she decided to do it, knowing there were no consequences if she just ripped off the bandaid.

       "I just wish that he would understand me," Casey started, facing Spencer. "I wish that he knew how much I loved him and that he should never put himself down for things he can't control. I want him to know that I'm sorry and that he didn't deserve what I said. I love him." She took a pause and looked back down at her lap. "But I don't know if I can stay in this marriage if all he's gonna do is make decisions for us. If he is altering our lives."

      Dr. Carter nods, seeing progress and looks at Spencer, who has a sad expression on his face as he stares at his wife. Casey glanced at him, seeing his face. It was a mix of guilt, fear, sadness all in one. "Do you hear what she's saying, Spencer?" Dr. Carter speaks and Spencer looks down at his own hands and nods and quietly admits, "Yes."

      "And what do you have to say?" Dr. Carter questions.

       Spencer takes a deep breath and looks over at his wife and Casey feels him move off the couch and he sits in front of her, on his knees on the carpeted floor and notices her sad expression. He grabs her hands with his and she just lets him.

       Casey knows she has to look at Spencer, since he's practically doing this without even begging her to look at him. He had a way of asking, even without words. "I'm sorry for making you feel that way," He starts with a strong beginning. "I guess I've just been... so caught up with everything with my mom and Chris, I feel like I've been making decisions for everyone that I didn't even bother to think about you. And that was selfish of me to do so." Casey sniffles, hearing the words come out of his mouth and it feels real now.

      "But I don't want to lose you," Spencer confesses and shakes his head, looking deep into Casey's tired eyes. "Not like this. We've been through so much already. You can't be another thing I lose. Another person I lose. Because the only thing that keeps me on my feet is you."

       "Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all marriages end in divorce. And I don't want to be a part of that 41%. I want you to be on that same page with me. I'm sorry. For everything. I'll try harder. I'll stop acting so crazy. I just... don't want you to leave. But I won't force you to stay. It's complicated, I know. But... whatever you decide, I'll stand by you. Even if that means hurting me in the process. I think I might deserve that after everything I've put you through." Spencer finishes.

       Casey looks down in her lap, knowing the decision is hers to stay or to leave and he was letting her choose either. Even if that means hurting me in the process. He knew the consequences but knew that if it meant Casey would be happy with or without him, so be it. But she knew deep in her heart... she could never leave him. He could not be replaced and she'd be the one who would stay. And in this world, it was just them. And she liked having her person around, they knew they had kinks to work out but they knew as long they had each other, they'd at least try to be okay.

       Casey released one of her hands from Spencer's and put a hand on his cheek, caressing his soft skin. "Every decision big and small, has to be run by me too. That's all I ask."

        Spencer grabs both of her hand again, bringing them both to his mouth and kissing both on them. "It will." He nods and the time, Casey can tell by the look in his eyes, he genuinely means it.

       "Talk to me when you're having issues. Don't push me away." Casey tells and he kisses her hands once more. "I won't."

       "And with your mom..." There's a pause. This could be the dealbreaker but whatever the answer is, Spencer knows he has to take her words in account. Casey thinks and then nods, "We'll give it a shot."

         Casey thinks Spencer may go to kiss her hands again, but this time, he cups his wife's face and kisses her on the lips and holds her and Casey hugs him back. "Thank you." Spencer muffled into her shirt.

        Casey pulls away and looks at him. "And I think we should stick with the counseling. This actually really helped today." Spencer nodded, "Whatever you want."

       "I do want you both here for check ups every other week, maybe once a month." Dr. Carter told and the two nod at her words. And for once, Spencer and Casey are going home without any tension. They knew they had to work out their kinks and they know it would take time but in the end, they knew they would have each other.

soooo this was more japril/calzona hehehe
and guys
they're fine now but
it may get worse considering the prison storyline lol

dr. carter listening to spencer and casey's arguments like:

sis was getting the tea

anywayssssss
ik this is like super super out of character for spencer and ik the way i write him is so bad but it's fitting my story so whatever

alsoooo
mini-story time i already posted this on my conversations board butttttt
i was working and i was the only one on the floor and this sketchy guy walked in and five seconds after he walks in, i get a call from another store (i work in the outlets) and they told me that someone that just tried to rob from them just walked into the store and bro- when i tell you i felt like i was on an episode of criminal minds i nearly shit my pants dawg
i kept a poker face and made a beeline for the back and my manager ended up taking care of it all by calling security and we scared the guy away but i'm okay no one was hurt but mannn i've never been through that before so i was lil shaken up and i've been through a lot worse than that but i thought i'd share for a least a little awareness! please please please stay safe out there, especially if you have a job and someone's trying to steal, please be careful and follow your store's policy or just be a little bitch and hide in the back like i did! 🙏
anywaysssss sorry for the vent y'all

but on a lighter note, the BAU would be very proud of me for how i handled the situation lol

anywaysssss
thank you so much for reading!
i love you all!
-mya </333