CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE: JUST SAY SOMETHING !

10x14

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      CASEY WILLOWS HAD FINISHED TUCKING HER ONE-YEAR OLD TO BED. Christopher had fallen asleep in her arms after she had been reading to him in the rocking chair. Since Spencer was usually the one that read him to bed, it had taken a bit longer for Chris to fall asleep but with Casey's luck, she successfully had gotten him to sleep. Christopher was starting to get used to Casey reading him to bed now.

       Once she got a look at his crib, she realized that they eventually had to replace the crib with a regular beg for Chris. It would be easier if he had a bed now. But since everything that happened... it must've slipped her mind.

       Casey looked around Christopher's room and the added item on the wall. The Rochester snow globe — a reminder of his great uncle Gideon — his namesake. A piece of him for Christopher to remember.

        Casey looked down. Ever since her father admitted the secret that confused her, she kept it secret. Not even Spencer knew. And it wouldn't matter anyways. He wasn't speaking much recently, anyways.

         The woman's phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out to check the message. Speak of the devil, Spencer had been messaging her.

doc❤️
Taking another late night. Love you. -Spence

          Casey wasn't even surprised anymore. It had been like this for the past few days. He wasn't coming home, he was staying at the office all late hours of the night. Casey had wondered if he had been getting any sleep while he was there or if he had a caffeine IV in his system. She barely saw him anymore. And it was starting to not only affect her... but her son, as well.

          She knew that since Gideon died, Spencer had been taking it pretty hard. Maybe even harder than her. She understood why. Gideon was his mentor and his father-figure. It pained him to lose him. But it was starting to be too much for Casey. In ways, she felt alone. She had tried to speak to him to see what was up with him and assured him she'd always be there for him but he'd either brush her off or changed the subject entirely.

Casey went to go and reply back to Spencer but she decided to erase her message before she sent it. If space was what he needed, space is what he would get.

          The Willows found herself back in their bedroom, tucking herself into bed, the other side of it feeling empty without Spencer. She was faced towards his side of the bed, feeling as if a ghost had taken his spot. It hurt her, almost. She turned away, feeling pained that he wasn't even here to sleep beside. She wished for the cuddles, for him to hold her. But he wasn't.

           The next morning, the sunrise had woken Casey up, maybe along with the buzz of her cellphone on her desktop. She rubbed her eyes and had seen a message from Garcia, telling her that they had a case.

         Casey groaned a bit and stretched and had looked over to see that her son had found himself to their room in the middle of the night — sprawled onto the covers next to his mother, sleeping soundly. He kind of looked like Spencer when he slept, she could only hear Spencer's voice in the back of her head, telling her he looked more like her when he slept — which was the more accurate side. Christopher sneaking into their room began to happen frequently, a lot more since Spencer was gone, which is why Casey was thinking about getting him a regular bed to sleep on.

         So, Casey had woken him up and gotten him ready for the day and she had decided to leave Christopher with Will and Henry for the day, dropping him off before heading to work.

          Casey had made it just in time before they started to debrief. She locked eyes with Spencer as she headed into the roundtable, it was like they hadn't seen each other in weeks, which seemed very accurate in Casey's mind. Garcia had shown the team a video to start with — a man named Allen Archer saving a pregnant woman out of a building after an explosion had occurred nearby.

       "An explosion happened at a Beanery Brewhouse in Indianapolis earlier this morning." Garcia told. "First responders are reporting six deaths, sixteen wounded." Hotch added. "Brave guy." JJ commented. "Anyone claimed responsibility?" Morgan questioned. "Not yet." Garcia shook her head.

       "No, but Indianapolis PD believes it may be related to a bomb that went off in an elementary school last week." Hotch explained. "Yeah, that was relatively low yield. It claimed the life of Morton Truby. He was a custodian working graveyard shift. Authorities found traces of TNT." Garcia explained.

      "Until today they thought it was an isolated incident." Hotch stated. "Could this be another Boston or Oklahoma City?" Kate asks. "Beanery is a popular chain," JJ said. "Exactly the type of location a domestic terrorist would target." Rossi adds, "The unsub wants everyone looking over their shoulder."

       "And we also shouldn't rule out a disgruntled employee or fundamental groups." JJ said. "At this point we can't rule anything out," Hotch said. "Hudson will be out this week, she's gone to New York for a few college lectures, so we'll be down a man. Let's move." He informed and the team had made their way to the bullpen entrance.

        "TNT doesn't pack much bang for its buck. It'd be pretty hard to hide the amount needed to cause the damage to that coffee house." Morgan explained. "Yeah, but why blow up the coffee house? He could've hit any other place, why that one?" Casey questioned as the team waited for the elevator.

       "This feels like page 118," Spencer said, causing everyone to look at him with confused expressions. "'The Anarchist Cookbook', 'TNT for dummies'?" Casey gave the man a sympathetic small smile. "The blast at the school seems rudimentary. It may have been the unsub's testing ground."

       "The coffee house could indicate a drastic escalation." Rossi adds. "The book also teaches you to make Nitroglycerin, and a coffee shop could represent a steep learning curve." Spencer tells.

        "So this guy is either quick on his feet or both blasts were part of a sophisticated plan." JJ said. "In that case, we can't be certain that the coffee house is this guy's finale." Kate added on.

       "Yeah. Which is why the plane's been ready. We can be in Indianapolis in two hours." Hotch informed as the elevator finally opened and the team all joined inside to head to the jet.

         After the jet ride to Indianapolis, Hotch had split the team like he always had. JJ, Kate and Casey would be heading over to Allen Archer's home to talk with him. The car ride there was quiet but JJ and Kate knew what was up. They had noticed it for a few days now but the icing on the cake was when Casey had sat over with Morgan instead of Spencer for once.

          JJ had been driving, Casey in the passenger's seat and Kate sitting in the back. It was quiet until Kate decided to break the ice. "Since it's just us girls, Casey, I gotta ask... are you and Spencer okay?"

         Casey nods, "Yeah, we're fine." She said, but they instantly could tell by her tone of voice that she was lying and Casey knew that too once they exchange a glance to one another and she decided to give in. "I'm worried," She admitted. "Spencer hasn't been home in days. I mean, he occasionally calls me and texts but... he hasn't been home."

        "Have you tried talking to him?" JJ asks. "He changes the subject every time." Casey tells. "Or he just ignores me... which is worse. I mean, what do I do? I'm worried that if I leave him alone for too long, he's gonna think I don't care but if I don't, he's gonna think I'm smothering him." It felt good to finally vent about this stuff with the people she trusted. She had needed to talk to someone other than her one-year-old son for once.

          "The one thing you could do is just give Spencer his space. You know how he is when he's lost someone or has almost lost someone." JJ suggested. "Has this been affecting Christopher too?" Kate decides to ask.

          "Probably more than me. We have this routine where Spencer reads him to bed. The minute Spencer opens the book, he's out like a light but the minute I do, it takes five books for him to sleep. He's been getting fussy, he's even crawling into bed with me now." Casey explained. "It's like he almost knows he's not there. I just... I wish Spencer would just talk to me."

           JJ puts a reassuring hand on Casey's thigh. "He will. You just gotta give him time. You know how much Gideon meant to him. And besides, you're Spencer and Casey. You guys always figure it out." She tells.

           The woman was right about that. Spencer and Casey always figured it out when they had issues. Even with the lack of communication, they always managed to get through it. She just wanted to wait for him to say something. She always felt like she was the one that grounded him and maybe he just needed to reach out first.

           Once the women arrived at the Archer residence, the place was riddled with news reporters, wanting a new story from the man. With a few 'no comments', the three managed to head inside the home to speak with Allen Archer and his wife. Allen Archer had saved a pregnant woman after the attack and was billed the town's hero.

          Kate and Casey had sat down the couple as JJ had been scoping around the house, subtly. She looked outside to the newscasters. "It looks like the media is scrambling for a sound bite from their local hero." JJ told.

         "Yeah, I don't know what all the fuss is about. Anybody with half a right mind would have done the same thing." Allen told. "But they didn't. You did." His wife assured, holding onto his arm lovingly. She looked up at the women in front of her. "How's the mother?" Brenda asked, curiously.

        "She went into labor. It's a boy." Kate told as the two smile at the news. "Was this a terrorist attack?" Allen asked and Brenda thinks as she says softly: "Obviously."

       "I don't think we're classifying it as terrorism just yet. There's a lot of blank spots to fill in." Casey told. "So did you notice anything suspicious when you ran inside? Anyone that didn't seem panicked?" JJ questioned.

        Allen shook his head, "No. No, nothing like that."  Kate had decided to scope around now as JJ and Casey sat with the couple. "Did you see where the blast came from?" Casey asks. "Um, there were two, I guess. When I ran in there, there was only a small fire. But then the back wall just exploded."

       "Who's the man in the photos?" Kate asked, causing Casey to look up to where Kate was standing. There had been photos of a man on the mantle, someone Casey didn't recognize.

       "Uh, my first husband, Grant," Brenda answers. "He was a Navy SEAL. He died in Afghanistan."

       "And you all were friends?" Kate asks. "Yeah. Allen introduced us." Brenda nods as Allen then checks his watch. "It's, uh, it's almost 3:00." He informs his wife. "I have to pick up Hannah." Brenda stated and then looks up at the agents before checking the time. "It's our daughter."

      "I'll, uh, I'll go with you," Allen offers. "That way you don't have to fend off the reporters alone."

      The women stand and JJ nods, "Oh, I think we can help you there."

      The plan was for JJ, Kate and Casey to distract the reporters as Brenda and Allen make a clean getaway to go and pick up their daughter. When they were ready to go, JJ, Casey and Kate headed outside.

      The reporters immediately rushed over to them like they were shiny new toys on a rack. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm SSA Jennifer Jareau, this is SSAs Casey Willows and Kate Callahan,  I'd like to make a statement on behalf of the Archer family." JJ started.

      "Allen Archer did what anyone in his place would have done. Allen saved a woman, and in doing so, saved her child, who I am happy to report was born less than an hour ago. Mother and child are doing fine, as is Allen and his wife. But they are understandably shaken. The Archer family asks that you please give them privacy as they deal with today's tragic events." The truck engine started, indicating that the Archers made their getaway successfully, causing the reporters to be confused once they saw them getting away and nearly rushing off after them.

       "Wait! That's the family. They're leaving!" A reporter noticed.

       "Sorry, guys, guess you're gonna have to capitalize on somebody else's trauma today." Kate told. "Seriously, they never learn." Casey added. "Thank you." JJ finished and the women headed off back to the PD.

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        When Casey found out that Allen Archer was trapped above a bomb attached to his truck, she didn't think that Morgan and Spencer were the ones that were gonna defuse it. Casey had arrived at the residence with the bomb squad, following behind.

        The woman tried calling both of them multiple times but neither of them had answered. She had soon arrived with her FBI vest attached on. She had noticed Spencer and Morgan at first as she got out of the SUV. She also noticed Allen, detached from the bomb.

         Casey rushed over and looked at the men. "You guys alright?" Casey asked. "Yeah, yeah, we're fine." Morgan nods and a member of the bomb squad approaches the four. "You've got four Nitroglycerin packs. Now, I've defused it, but the nitro is homemade. It's almost guaranteed to be unstable." Morgan explained and Casey had looked at the man like he had two heads. What did he mean he defused it? And did he also mean that Spencer helped him defuse it?

          Once the bomb squad member walked away, Casey looked at him. "Wait, you guys defused it already?" Casey questioned and both the men nodded. "Are you guys insane?"

         Casey looked at both of them as if they both grew two heads. It completely bothered Casey that they had put themselves in danger like that. Especially when Morgan had Savannah to think about Spencer had her, his mother and their son to think about. It scared her, thinking that if they made the wrong move, it could've costed them their lives. "You both do realize you could've gotten yourselves killed, right?"

          "We were saving Allen, Casey—" Morgan told.
          "It doesn't matter," Casey snapped. "You guys should've waited." Casey looked right at Spencer when she said the last sentence and went to go get Allen to his wife and daughter.

          Sure, back then, Casey would've been doing what they were doing but now that she had a kid to think about, it was different. Now, Spencer had not only been in this situation with a bomb once but twice now. It really irritated her that he was putting his life in jeopardy — especially since everything that happened.

           After Morgan and Spencer had checked out the truck, they'd discovered that Allen had book on explosives and he had been the number one suspect right now. They had ended up coming back and Spencer had immediately isolated himself in the conference room, a pissed-off Casey marching right after him.

         Once she entered the room, she locked the door right behind her. "Hey." Spencer said, like he was happy to see her but Casey was the opposite from a loving mood right now. "Don't 'hey' me." She started off strongly, her attitude catching him off guard.

        "Just give it to me straight. And answer me honestly. Are you okay?" Casey questioned and Spencer furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Yeah, why?"

         "Why?" Casey repeated in utter confusion. "Spence, you put yourself in front of a bomb yesterday. You don't think that's concerning?"
        "I was just trying to save somebody." Spencer told, suddenly confused on why Casey was getting on him about this when Casey was notorious for putting herself in dangerous situations like that.

       "No, you were trying to get yourself killed which is everybody seems to do in my family!" Casey told. "And you have a family, you have a son and you were going to risk all of that for a lousy bomb? Are you kidding me?" Her anger started coming out in spurts. She had been angry at him. Angry that he put his life on the line like that. She couldn't have imagined losing him like that and Spencer just didn't seem to understand.

      "I was doing my job," Spencer stated, clearly also getting angry at the situation. "What, you're mad now?"
       "Yeah, make 'mad' pissed off!" Casey corrected. "And I'm pissed off at you, Spencer!"

       Wanting to avoid conflict at work, Spencer wiped his hands clean from this current situation. "I'm not having this discussion with you." With that, he walked away from her head, heading to the door.

      "Spencer!" Casey called. She then looked down at the ground and thought of the only thing that could get him to listen to her for just a second. She turned around, facing his back as soon as he began to unlock the door and open it.

      "When you got shot, I thought I lost you." Casey blurred out, causing Spencer to snap his head up. He remembered when he had gotten shot, the scared look on his fiancé's face.  The blood pouring out of his neck. Of course she thought she lost him. He just never heard her say it out loud. "I thought you were dead."

       Spencer reluctantly closed the door but couldn't face her just yet. "I bet you didn't know that, did you?" He slightly turned around but Casey could only see the side of his face, his messy hair sticking out clearly in her eyes as she had seen the look. "I was going to keep that in to the grave. Because we didn't talk about it and you didn't want to talk about it. So we just didn't talk. But I thought I was going to lose you and that scared the shit out of me." Spencer looked down, the pain in her voice wearing him down. The fact that she thought she lost him... he couldn't imagine leaving her in such a way.

        "But then, you lived." Casey smiles a bit as tears form slightly in her eyes. "And I realized that our love was so powerful and I vowed that I would love you for the rest of my life if you somehow survived." She admitted. Spencer finally brought himself to look up at her and he noticed her broken face. "But Gideon dies and that changes everything." She looked down that time, wiping her eyes slightly so he doesn't see the tears but it was too late because he already had.

         Casey looked back up. "Spencer, I just want you to talk to me. You weren't the only one who lost him." Spencer looked down again, this time at the mention of Gideon. "And I don't want to just talk to a wall. So please... for my sake... just say something. Even if it's bad, just say something. Just stop... shutting me out."

         There's a pause and honestly, in this moment, Spencer doesn't know what to say to Casey. For once, he can't find the right words in this situation. He usually knew, but... this time, he just didn't.

         Casey nodded after a few minutes and realized that if she didn't get through to him now, she couldn't again. So, Casey had walked past him towards the door. "Where are you going?" He asked.

         The woman opened the door and then looked at him as she spoke: "If you don't want to talk to me, I don't wanna talk to you." With that, Casey slammed the door behind her and made her way over to the bathroom, shutting herself into a stall and quietly sobbing so no one could hear her.

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         Casey and Spencer didn't talk for the remainder of the case. After finally catching the person responsible, Spencer knew he couldn't just talk coffee facts to her out of this one. He sat by himself on the jet, with his chess board in front of him — catching a glimpse of Casey sleeping on the couch every once in a while. As creepy as it sounded, there were times he liked watching her sleep. Her being well rested and looking beautiful while being well rested comforted him.  At least she was able to sleep, he thought.

         His mind went from Casey to Rossi, who had decided to interfere with his chess game. "You ever gonna finish this game?" Rossi asked and Spencer looked up and didn't know. "It's a tough one. Playing yourself can be difficult."
         "Playing a ghost even more so." Rossi responded.

         Spencer had been stuck on this game, chess was a way that kept Gideon's memory alive for him so when Casey started noticing at work that he was playing chess more often than not, she knew there was trouble but Spencer couldn't see what was wrong. That was just like him, being oblivious to everything.

       "He's gone, Spencer," Rossi told, everyone else had been too afraid to say it to him, even Casey. But Rossi was an honest person, he'd admit the truth no matter how hard it was to hear. "Keeping the game going won't change that."

       "I know," Spencer spoke softly. "I just thought that maybe I could keep part of him alive if his last game never ended."

        "Neither side will ever win playing like this." Rossi told and Spencer thought to himself. "He hated good-byes." Rossi then found himself sitting in front of Reid. "Gideon also hated unfinished business. So... let's finish it."

        Rossi began as he moved a chess piece over. "What are you doing?" Spencer questioned. "Moving my rook." Rossi told. "Do you know how to play chess?" Spencer asks.

       Rossi gave Spencer a careful and narrowed look. "Who do you think Gideon played before he met you?" He questioned and Spencer thought to himself with a sly smirk. "I'm probably gonna finish you in five moves." Spencer had moved a piece over. "Check." Rossi shook his head, "Don't hold your breath, Sonny boy." He told.

       A few minutes in the game, Rossi looked over at Casey sleeping on the couch. "You know, even with Gideon gone, there's a part of him that's still here. And that part of him is sleeping on that couch." Spencer looked over at Casey, not really thinking of it in that way until now. "And another part of him is back in DC." Rossi reminded the man of his son. Spencer's heart broke at the mention of Christopher. He couldn't believe he hadn't been home in a hot minute, not reading his son a book before bedtime or tucking him into bed. It hurt once he truly thought about it. And it made him regret not coming home.

         Once they landed, after the paperwork was finished, Casey had been ready to go home, without Spencer, she assumed like she had for the past week. Casey had finished with her paperwork but Spencer hadn't quite yet. "Hey, where you going?" He asked, looking up from his desk to his fiancée.

        "Home," Casey responded in a 'duh' tone. "You know, that tiny apartment that you haven't set foot in for four days?"

        Spencer knew he was gonna receive an answer like that from her. "Casey—" He tried, turning his chair to her. "You know, I'm not gonna wait for you so just stay here another night for all I care. I bet you prefer it anyways." Casey told, walking away towards the elevator.

         Before Casey went home, she had stopped by JJ and Will's to pick Christopher up. Once she arrived home, she had placed Christopher down in his crib and had changed him into his pajamas. She assured she'd come right back to tell him a story but she had to go and change first.

          Once she looked down the hallway and entered through the doorframe, she noticed Spencer sitting down on the bed. It was almost foreign seeing him here, if anything, she thought she was hallucinating him. "What are you doing here?" It was a stupid question to ask but Casey honestly couldn't think clearly right now.

          "It's my home?" Spencer said in a question than an answer. "It's our home." Casey corrected. "That's what I meant." Spencer assures.

          Spencer leaned forward a bit to grab onto Casey's hands and pulled her closer to him. "Come here." He ushered and Casey looked down at him with her 'annoyed but happy he was home' eyes.

         "I'm sorry I've been so distant lately," Spencer said, looking right into her eyes as he spoke. "It's not fair to you and it's not fair to Christopher." Casey had decided to sit next to him as he talked.

         "My entire life, I have kept everything bottled up. I've never had anyone to share trauma with. Up until I met you." He pulled a loosen strand of hair behind her ear as he spoke.  "And I guess, I'm still... trying to wrap my head around it? I mean, wrapping my head around the fact that I have the most amazing woman in my life, along with the most amazing kid." Casey smiles at that.

         "Sometimes, I forget that I can go to you for stuff when and if I need to. And did you know that 67.5% of marriages that ended did so primarily due to communication problems? Communication is the foundation of a successful relationship so I don't know why I haven't been communicating and I'm sorry."

          Spencer looks down at his hands once he finishes and Casey puts a hand to his cheek and caresses it and pushes his face to her to meet her eyes. "It's not your fault," She assures. "Gideon's death really threw us in for a loop. And I feel bad because I feel like I haven't been communicating with you either and I'm sorry for that."

         "No, no, it's not your fault either." Spencer assures, putting a hand on her thigh. "We're just really bad at communicating." He tells and Casey snickers to herself a bit at that. "Yeah, we really are. We need to be better at that." Spencer nods in agreement and they both take a silent vow to be more communicative with one another. And Casey know that eventually, she's gonna need to tell him about what her dad told her sometime. She couldn't just keep that from him.

         Casey takes his hands into hers, still resting on her thigh and Casey rubs her thumb against the veins on his hands. She liked his hands. Holding them, touching them. Partialism, Spencer calls it. A sexual arousal involving attraction to a specific part of the body, such as breasts or hands. But she hadn't been feeling that, not tonight, anyways. She liked the hand-holding part just as much.

         The woman had thought to herself and smiled. "Do you remember... that time where you guys were all going on vacation? Elle and Derek were going to Jamaica, Hotch was spending time with his family, you were going to see your mom..."

         Spencer nods at the memory. He remembered it like it was yesterday. "And Gideon was going to his cabin with Sarah."

        "Yeah, but before that, I made him go to the movies with me because I wanted to spend some time with him before he left. I forgot what movie we were gonna go see but I remember rushing into the bullpen and practically yelling at him that we were gonna miss the previews." She chuckled at the memory. "And while I made my way over to him, I bumped into this dude. He was kinda tall, kinda lanky, hair was slicked back, mismatched socks with brown satchel...kinda looked like a worm."

        "This guy sounds like a real nerd." Spencer joked, knowing that the tall, lanky, mismatched socks wearing dude was him. "Yes, he was." Casey laughed.

        "I remember the girl used to have some kind of "fashion sense". She was wearing a cropped long sleeve gray shirt and black high-waisted jeans with a chain attached them them." Spencer described.
         "I was eighteen, okay?" Casey told, remembering the outfits she used to wear before taking a more serious route with becoming an agent.

         "But... I bumped into the guy and I immediately apologized but he insisted it was his fault. I took one look at him... and... I don't know, I felt something. I mean, I'd seen this guy before but... I never really had conversation with him." Spencer looked at his fiancée and smiled at the memory. "I felt something too." He admitted. "But at the time, I just didn't know what it was."

         Casey took a moment and thought, "Do you think he knew?" She asked, talking about Gideon. "Knew what?" Spencer asks. "That... somehow, someway... we were gonna find each other?"

         In ways, Spencer thought the universe led him to Casey for a reason. When Gideon was gone, Casey had come into the picture, nearly almost replacing Gideon in his eyes. He was hesitant at first but Casey was just as wonderful as Gideon was and just as impossible to beat at card games and chess games. She kind of became his new Gideon in a way, just in girl form and someone he liked to kiss.

        "Yeah, I'd like to think he did." Spencer cupped Casey's jaw as he placed a kiss on her lips and Casey had then heard feet running down the hallway and in came running Christopher, holding a book in his hands. "Mama?" He asked. He'd been saying his first words for a while.

         Casey had turned her attention to her son. "Hi, my sweet boy! Come here!" She held her arms out and held her son in her lap and kissed his temple. "Look, Daddy's back!" She smiled, pointing to Spencer, who had a wide smile on his face plastered on for his son and a higher voice for him. "Hey, little guy!" Christopher immediately hopped into his dad's arms and Spencer held onto his tightly. "Did you grow while I was away?" He asked, placing him in his lap to sit down.

         "Not only that," Casey said. "He's also been sleeping in our bed for the past few days. I think it's time we get him a big boy bed." Spencer looked at his son in awe. "You want a big boy bed now?"

           Christopher held his 'Goodnight, Moon' book in his hands, almost flashing it around for the two to see. He held it towards his mother. "Yeah, I think it's time we read you to bed, huh?" Casey asks. "I'll read to him," Spencer volunteered. "I miss it." Casey nods, "Okay."

            So, Spencer and Casey had sprawled in their bed with Christopher in between them as Spencer read the book to Christopher. Two pages in and he was out like a light... and so was Casey. Spencer had put the book down and looked at his family and his heart warmed at the sight. This little family that he had created made him truly realize he was not alone.

hey lovelies!!!
soooo here's a little angst😁
buttt it turns good in the end so it's alrightttt
y'all can thank tumblr for this one

also
new original chapter coming up
where we find out the secret from the LAST CHAPTERRRR
i'm so excited for this one omggggg
might be my best original in this book yet tbh

anywayssss
thank you all for reading
i love you all so freaking much!!
-mya </3333