CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: SURRENDERING !

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      IT HAD BEEN A FEW WEEKS WITH CASEY BEING OFF CRUTCHES AND HONESTLY, SHE WAS RELIVED. There was one more thing she was worried about though and it made her tense. She focused on her work, beginning to get her mind off of anything today.

      Spencer had come up to Casey's desk and spoke as he placed a bag filled with two glazed donuts in front of her."Hey." Spencer spoke and pecked his girlfriend on the lips as she turned towards him. "Hey." Casey smiled.

     "You ready for this weekend?" Spencer asked and Casey furrowed her brows. Once Spencer saw that she didn't get it, he reminded her slowly. "The mini-vacation we were gonna take while everyone else is out on a case." The team had been on their way to Kentucky right as they were speaking, dealing with bodies that looked like an animal had killed them but the county wasn't sure.

      Casey then reminded herself that she had put that in her calendar. "Oh, yeah, that." She stood up and got some jerky from her bag and Spencer followed her as she went to go and get some more coffee and she chewed the jerky. "You know, maybe we should stay in. Cozy up, watch Friends reruns." She had just explained every date they had had for the past few weeks.

      "I thought you said you wanted to go to New York." Spencer furrows his brows. "Yeah, but don't you think it's too much?" Casey asks. "Nothing's too much when I'm with you." Spencer steps closer to the girl and Casey pecks his lips. "Why you gotta be so cheesy?" She jokes.

      "Is that a yes for New York?" Reid asks. "You really wanna go, huh?" Casey asks. "Well, there's an art museum there I'd like to check out and Hotch already said we can take the jet." Casey saw Spencer's little puppy eyes and knew she had to give in. Who could say no to that? "Yes. It's a yes." Casey tells.

       "Okay, we should be heading to the jet now. You got your stuff?" Spencer asks and Casey nods, "Yes." With that, Casey watched Spencer rush off and she looks at the jerky in her hand and sighs. Guess she was going on this trip.

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Spencer had hardly noticed how off his girlfriend's behavior was. He had just figured that she wasn't in the mood to go on a trip — which was true for Casey. She'd prefer to stay home, talk through some things, cuddle a bit, maybe.

Spencer was more focused on making sure that him and his girlfriend were gonna have a good time together. That's all he really wanted out of the trip. For them to have time together.

The jet ride was quiet and that was the way they preferred it. They had enjoyed their quiet little time together in the jet. It reminded Casey of the quiet Sundays in the apartment, where Spencer would read and Casey would watch her re-runs or read herself. Spencer would play classical music, Casey would make finger sandwiches to the best of her ability. But they were content. The time where they were quiet definitely impacted more than when they were loud. Not fighting, more like... pleasurable sounds. And those times were often... but y'all didn't hear that from me.

The valet took care of the two and Spencer had checked them into their hotel room. It had almost been dark once they had gotten there. But that was okay for them. Spencer had opened the door and Casey was greeted with a beautiful hotel room.

The room was magical. The bed was big enough for the two, curtains covered the sights of New York and it had its own mini-fridge. Spencer had asked in advance to have the minibar removed so Casey wouldn't be uncomfortable.

Spencer puts his stuff down and Casey does the same thing with her things. "We're gonna have a good time and I'm gonna make sure of it. No phones, no work, no anything."

Casey looks at her boyfriend and realized that she had a few things to talk to him about. "Uh, Spence, about that—" She begins.

Spencer looks down at the bed and pulls the covers off and shakes his head with a frown evident on his face. "Dang, I asked for silk sheets. You know, silk sheets may benefit a range of skin conditions, such as acne and contact dermatitis." He told.

"Spence—"

"It's also a smooth material, and it prevents friction or irritation to the skin. Silk is also a lightweight material that can help with temperature regulation and keep people cool during sleep—"

Casey had been pushed this secret off long enough. So when she said it, she just blurted it out.

"I'm late."

Spencer had stopped what he was doing and just stared at his girlfriend, not believing what had just came out of her mouth and wondered if his ears were playing tricks on him. Could the schizophrenic symptoms be affecting him now? "What?" He asked, almost in a whisper.

Casey didn't want Spencer to find out in this manner. She wanted to tell him back at home, so they would talk it out. But here they were, in their mini-vacation, one was excited, one was anxious. Now, both of their hearts had dropped down to their stomaches.

"My period," Casey spoke. "I'm late, Spencer."

The room was filled with silence.

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Spencer had waited outside of the bathroom door as Casey had peed on a pregnancy stick. The two had gone to a drugstore nearby. They had picked up two, just to be sure. Casey had exited the bathroom and Spencer had pretended that he hadn't been standing behind the door in anxiousness.

Casey sighed and no words were said. The two had sat down in front of the bathroom door. Casey had left the tests in the bathroom to avoid looking at them.

Spencer had realized how much Casey was freaking out internally and remembered that his talking calmed her. "You know, missed or late periods happen for many reasons other than pregnancy. Common causes can range from hormonal imbalances to serious medical conditions. There are also two times in a woman's life when it's totally normal for her period to be irregular: when it first begins, and when menopause starts."

Casey chuckled to herself a bit. "Well, I'm 25 years old, I don't think it's menopause. As much as I don't wanna do it, let's go with the only reasonable explanation here."

"How long do the tests take?" Spencer asks.

"Two minutes." Casey answers.

The two sat in silence again. Casey pinched the bridge of her nose and began to laugh to herself. Spencer had thought she was crying at first and then realized that she was laughing to herself.

"What?" He asked.

"I just..." Casey removed her hand from her face and ran a hand through her hairline and brushed her hair with her fingers. "I didn't expect this. We've been together for almost a year now and... this happens." Casey shakes her head. "I'm not cut out to be a mother. I never even wanted kids. That was never a part of the plan. And we're here and... this changes everything."

Spencer looks down. "You think it was for me?" He asks. "This kid's gonna have so many problems, thanks to me. I have an absent father and a schizophrenic mother." He tells.

"And I had a mother who was addicted to heroin and a father who's in prison. And he's gonna have a mother with a drinking problem and a former drug addict of a father. This kid is screwed either way." Casey stated and Spencer looked down. "I don't know if I'm ready." Casey admits.

Spencer didn't want to push Casey into something she didn't want to do. He could never do that to her. He was gonna support her no matter the decision. "We don't even know if it's gonna be a positive." He tried to look on the bright side more, to assure Casey. "There's a possibility that it's going to be a negative."

"Are we sure?" Casey took a mental note for the amount of food she had eating recently, the mood swings she was having, the sickness she had been getting. Maybe it was from stress? "It could be anything." Spencer assures.

"Pros and cons?" Casey asks. Spencer nodded at the girl.

Spencer and Casey had created this little game for themselves called the 'Pros and Cons' game. They always played this little game when someone, such as themselves, were about to make a big decision. They had used the pros and cons game when moving in with each other, for example.

"Pros: we finally get to be parents." Spencer started.

"Cons: we screw up at being at parents and we screw up our child. Go." Casey thought as she pointed to Spencer to go next.

"Cons: Germs," Casey had seen that one coming. "Babies carry lots and lots of germs. Go."

"Cons: This baby could carry a lot of baggage we have. Go." Casey adds.

"Cons: a baby could mess up our normal life routines." Spencer tells.

"Cons: a baby could mess up our job. Cons: our lives could turn a full 180."

"Cons: the baby will hate and/or resent us because we're never there."
Casey nodded, "That's a good one."

There's a pause.

"Pros: we get to make a family that we never got to have." Casey started. "Pros: we get to have moments with our baby and make new ones every day." Spencer added on.

"Pros: a baby will bring us together instead of drive us apart."

"Pros: the baby could look like you."

"Pros: the baby could look like you."

The timer on Casey's phone goes off, indicating that the tests were ready. Spencer began to stand up until Casey had grabbed his arm and looked into his eyes. "No matter what, we're still sticking by each other. No leaving, we're in this together." Spencer furrows his brows and nods, "Of course."

So, the two stood up and hesitantly walked into the bathroom and Casey checked the tests in her hand and took a deep breath. Spencer looked at the test behind her and Casey exhales. "Wow." Casey puts the test down and blanks out. "Wow. I-I didn't... expect—" Spencer doesn't know what to say either.

"I gotta go." Casey walks out of the bathroom and grabs her coat from the bed. "Where... Where are you going? Didn't you just say we weren't leaving no matter what happens?" Spencer questions as Casey nears the front door.

"I'm not leaving for good."

"Then when are you going?"

"Spencer, I just found out I'm pregnant, okay? I need to take a walk." Spencer stares at the girl and doesn't know what to say. He knows that he needs to give Casey her space, she was always such a private person. But some part of him wanted to run after her, tell her that they would make it together and they would figure out the decision and Spencer would respect Casey's decision for anything... no matter what.

Casey was lucky that there had been a park near the hotel they were staying. The girl kept her hands in the pockets of her coat and could see her breath as she walked down the trail in the park. It felt like a scene from a movie and the place just felt so peaceful.

Eventually, Casey had gotten tired and sat on a nearby bench and thought about her situation, making her own pros and cons list in her head.

        From a young age, Casey knew she never wanted kids. Like she said, they were never a part of the plan. She never even saw herself married. Casey had known that with the job in the FBI, she knew that she would be cursed with a divorce or then getting involved in a case, like Hotch and Haley. And inevitably, that did happen with Sawyer. But even with Sawyer, she never felt the way that she felt with she started dating Spencer. And when she had started dating Spencer, that had changed everything. She saw a future with Spencer and she saw Spencer as being someone that would support her in no matter the decision she made and she saw how he was with kids. He would make a great father. And even thought she felt like it would be challenging to be a mother, Casey saw something great out of this coming for herself. She'd love her child with every fiber in her being, she'd make up for the past that her parents had given her. And she would not screw that up. She'd bring up a child that was exactly like her and Spencer and what more could she want?

      What really made Casey's mind up was seeing a small family walking through the park with a dog. The father had been walking the dog and the mother had been pushing a boy in a stroller. He couldn't have been older than three. Casey smiled a bit to the family and the little boy waved at Casey and the girl had waved back as they passed by.

       Casey had sat on that bench for an hour or maybe a few, she wasn't keeping track. She knew that eventually she would have to call Spencer so he wouldn't freak out about her not being back yet. The woman had contemplated and contemplated but she had made up her mind and there was no use in changing it.

       So, the girl picked up her phone and held it to her ear and Spencer had immediately picked it up. "Casey." Spencer sounded like he was in relief that she had finally called him. "Hey," Casey spoke softly. "I thought about it and..."

      Casey bit her lip and said the words that she never thought she would say in a million years. "I'm gonna have a baby." Spencer didn't say anything. "I know that this was never the life that I envisioned for myself. I mean, the career was the only thing I wanted to focus on. But with you, I know I can handle it and I know I can do it." Spencer was still silent. "Spencer? You breathing alright?"

       Spencer had been in the most shock that he'd ever been in his whole life. He, of course, was going to stay by Casey's side with this. He had always wanted to be a father but with the job, there was never a person he could share that with and now that Casey had said that, it filled him up with joy.

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       It had been around midnight and Casey had arrived back at the hotel. The room had been dark and Casey closed the door behind her as she tried to find the light. "Spence?" She turned the light successfully and once she did, she looked at the bed and had discovered Spencer.

      Spencer turned over to the girl and Casey had seen a giant stuffed teddy bear on the bed and he was holding heart-shaped balloons and there had been flowers on the bed. The man smiled like a child and stood tall. "Hey." He greeted.

     Casey was almost in shock of what she was seeing but it was wholesome to see. "What are you—?"

     "You caught me." Spencer shrugged.

     "Spence."

      Spencer had given the girl her flowers and he kissed her on the lips and then he bent down and kissed Casey's stomach next and that had given Casey butterflies. Spencer had looked at the girl and spoke: "No matter what, I'm gonna be here for you. For both of you." He chuckled.

Casey caressed the man's face and smiled. "I don't deserve you."

Spencer had hugged the girl and then spoke: "I have one more pro." Casey pushed away and looked the man in the eye as he put a hand on in her cheek and caressed her cheek. "Pro: I get to raise a baby with the woman I love."

"I have a pro, too." Casey told. "Pro: I get to raise a baby with the man I love." Spencer had lifted the woman up in the air and spun her around.

Now, this wasn't the ideal mini-vacation they were looking for, but it was definitely an eventful one. And with a decision as big as this one, things were definitely going to change around here. And Casey knew... it was going to be for the better.

well... that happened
told y'all that it was gonna be a big chapter
yes casey is indeed 🤰
and this is literally so crazy
i'm so excited for this and i already have so many things planneddddd
also
today was actually kind of an awful day but that's okay cuz writing be helping me lol
thank you guys for reading!!!
i hope that it's not too soon in this book and that y'all are okay with this kinda thing happening i mean it was bound to happen sometime soon with the amount of times they be fucking LMAOAOAO
anywaysss
love y'all so much🫶
-mya </3