Song for the chapter: Wish You Were Here, by Avril Lavigne

Ryker POV

Being without Maddison proved to be an impossible fucking task.

I couldn't sleep, barely eat. I was a real life zombie walking around, starved and exhausted. But nothing made sense without her. Nothing.

When I saw her a whole week ago, I felt my heart leap in my throat and I almost ran to her. But I meant what I said—I needed her to realize her feelings for me, mine for her, and for her to fight for me. She gives up on me way too easily and I thought by now she'd come back to me.

I was sadly mistaken.

The look, the completely broken look on her face that night was permanently engraved in my mind. How sad, angry, and defeated she looked, how she accused me of lying...it broke my fucking heart to hear how she saw me.

She was everything I ever wanted, I ever needed. She's my whole world and she's blinded by this rage in her.

Of course, I broke her trust. She caught me in something I planned on giving up after that night, had she given me a chance to explain. But she didn't. She never chooses to believe me—believe in me. She assumes the worst when it comes to us, and it hurts each damn time.

But she seemed fine.

I kept my distance, but I couldn't help but be around her, or in the same place as her. Thinking on it now, it actually sounds fucking psychopathic. But, fuck. She's my reason for breathing. I can't just let her go that easily.

So naturally, I approached Brad first. I, very kindly, told him to make sure that Maddison doesn't spend a fucking penny on this place. And he'd better call me, first, before he called Maddison. Oh, and if he mentioned it to her in any way, I'd snap his neck. But who cares.

Then, I made a very shady withdrawal from the bank. I put it all in a bag and kept it tucked in my jacket until I reached her apartment complex. I walked straight into the landlords office and had a nice chat.

He was quick to accept the money, cash, that I was willing to put down on the spot in order for him to accept Maddison's contract. It was her security deposit, plus ten percent, give or take, a years worth rent, and of course, the fucking pet deposit because I know how much she wants a damn dog.

But the money wasn't a problem. I was doing these stupid fights again for her, and she doesn't see that. She doesn't understand that I just wanted to provide for her and support her and fucking love her all the time.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. I blink several times to dismiss any fatigue trying to come over my body as I walk around the isles. I finally get a perfect view of her and my heart feels alive again.

She's smiling at a customer she was bagging and checking out for right now, like she wasn't at all upset about me. Like she never needed me as much as I needed her. She tilts her head as she places an item in the bag and turns towards the screen. She taps on it for a second and pauses, her eyes shifting around and scanning out towards where I was at.

"Shit," I mutter and run backwards like the coward I was.

I walk the edge of the store and try to make it out through the garden section, but that stupid son of bitch I saw making googly eyes at Maddison that one day walking in my direction. He caught sight of me, realization setting in them as I bolted out of there.

I jogged out to my car and jumped in. I gripped the steering wheel in frustration and leaned my head back against the headrest. All I wanted to do was make it in there without being caught, like I've been able to do, but of fucking course, nothing ever goes my way.

And to top it all off, when I felt my phone going off and grabbed it, I saw Kyler's name on the screen.

"What?"

"Oh, someone's moody."

"Fuck you. What do you want?"

"Come on, brother. You've been MIA all week. What's up?"

I scoff. "Like you care."

"I'm calling, aren't I?" Kyler's voice was serious.

I inhale. "There's always something with you, Kyler. What do you want?"

I hear his deep sigh. "Dad's meeting with an international partner this weekend. He asked for you to come. Even said you can bring that Maggie girl."

"Her name is Maddison, you fucking—" I stop myself. "No."

"Ryker, for fuck's sake. Please? It's important. Family is a big deal to them and they're bringing theirs."

"Oh. Family's only important and convenient when it benefits you?"

"No, and you know that."

I thought back to how close Kyler and I were before he decided to become my father's fucking lap dog. It hurt that he didn't want to put the effort to be close like that anymore.

"I don't know, Kyler."

"Just, please think about it. I'll even make sure to distract dad after and you can leave early so he doesn't give you any shit."

Then the question came to mind. "What's in it for you?"

"What?"

I laugh in disbelief. "Oh my fucking—this has some fucking promotion or some shit in it for you, doesn't it? Some 'atta boy' from dad?" I roll my eyes. "You're fucking pathetic."

"Ryk—"

I hang up. I was so done with this bullshit. All I wanted was to hold Maddison right now and hear her tell me how it was going to be okay. I missed her so much, fuck, did I miss her. I was at the end of my wits of trying to hold out. I was weak as shit and I can admit that. I don't care as long as she comes back to me.

"Ryker?"

I turn to the side and see Maddison climbing into the seat beside me. My hearts hammering in my chest as I see her vivid blue eyes meeting mine. It's been too fucking long.

"Maddison."

She gives me a soft smile. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh," I chuckle. "I'm not really sure."

She gives me a pointed look. "Yes you do."

Guilty.

"Alright. I was...watching you."

She smiles. "Why?"

"Because I miss you like fucking crazy." I say like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I couldn't live without seeing you."

She takes her bottom lip between her teeth, cheeks turning soft pink. "Really?"

"Of course, baby." I lean forward. "I love you so much. This whole week was torture without you."

Then, she frowns. "Then why didn't you come back for me?"

I blink. "I-I-" I shake my head. "I was waiting for you to come for me, Maddison. To fight for me."

She looks out of the window. "I fight a lot of my own demons, Ryker. And you...you scared me in a lot of ways. Good ways, but still."

I watched in silence as she sighs and turns to me.

"I love you. You're worth fighting for."

Just like that, everything felt right. As I tried to reach out for her, she held her hand up and gave me a small smile.

"Don't give up on me."

And then I opened my eyes. What the—a fucking dream? When did I even fall asleep? I looked around frantically, but she was gone. She was never even here.

I angrily tugged at my hair and put my head in my hands, feeling the tears start to brim my eyes. Fuck this space, fuck being away from her. I would never give up on her because she's my whole life. I needed her more than I needed the air to breathe.

As the tears fell down my face, I realized what an idiot I truly was. I should've just told her what I was doing. Instead, I acted like I was hiding something...which, I was. But now I'd broken her trust. And now, she probably wouldn't even take me back if I apologized for it. I wanted her to fight for me, but now I'd do anything to have her forgiveness.

When I lift my head, I didn't even realize it was nighttime. I looked at the time, almost nine. I glance around, waiting to see Maddison come out. I rub my eyes, blinking a few times.

After a while, I see Maddison emerge with a blonde girl and that same fucker from earlier. I see her looking at him, smiling at something he says. I can't help the murderous rage I feel when he shoves his hands in his pockets and smiles at her. He's barking up the wrong fucking tree.

She gives him a shy wave before she heads off the opposite way with the blonde girl. They walk across the parking lot as she unlocks the car. I'm watching like it's a damn movie as Maddison opens the door, but pauses, and I swear her very eyes are on mine. Mine widen as she spots the car and I see her brows furrow. The hurt momentarily flashes in them before she looks down, covers it up and climbs in the car.

She...she didn't even come to talk to me. She didn't wonder what I was doing here? She just left?

I guess that serves me fucking right for doing the same to her the other day. But fucking hell, seeing her directly in front of me and not being able to have her? Not being able to walk up to her and hold her and her be mine is fucking killing me.

No. Fuck that. She's mine. She'll always be mine. Nobody's gonna have her the way I have, know her the way I do. I don't care if she never forgives me, but I'll ask and beg for it every damn day until she does.

Because we belong together. Whether she wants to admit it or not, she's meant for me, and me her. That night she was telling me about how God created that Eve girl from Adam's rib, so essentially we're a half of each other?

She's my half. She is mine, and I won't give up on her without a fight.

I know that this is new to her, and fuck did I do a lot of shit wrong. I should've never even touched her without asking her to be mine. Her mom raised her with certain morals and beliefs, and that shit meant the world to her. And I wasn't going to take advantage of that anymore. I wasn't going to be some dick who wouldn't value her virtue or innocence.

This whole week without her was supposed to make her realize how much she wanted me, to make her fight for me, but now I'm ready to be that for her. She's never had someone to stand in her corner and be her strength, so I will. I'll be her reassurance every damn day that she's loved and valued because I fucking love that girl to no end.

And I know that I want to spend every single day of my life with her. I want to marry her, I want to make her feel loved, I want to make love to her, I want her to be the mother of my children. I want her to be in my corner, cheering me on in whatever I do with my life. I want her to look at me with those beautiful eyes and never get tired of telling me she loves me, or that she's proud of me.

I want to be the man she needs. I need her to know that despite how badly I fucked up, I still want her. I'll always want her because she's seen me in ways that nobody ever has—she's accepted the real me, and I see the real her. The beautiful, strong, amazing woman who's been through life's shit show too early but still gets up every day with a smile on her face.

I love her, and I'm not going to lose her. Because she's worth fighting for, even if she doesn't see it.

A/N

I'm ✨soft✨

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