Song for the chapter: I'm Not Sorry, by Gabriel Conte

Ryker and I had stood up later than normal, just cuddling on the couch and talking. He would suddenly still, looking at me in a way nobody ever has before, which made my heart skip several beats, and apologized again and again.

I kept telling him that it was fine, but eventually, he'd just say sorry again. The more times he did so, the more the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach kept growing. He sounded like he was saying something sorry for something much more than just trying to give me space.

But then he'd twirl some of my hair around his finger, which made my head forget everything I was thinking. Because when he'd look up at me with his intense hazel eyes, I felt like my heart leapt to my throat.

I still couldn't believe that I loved this beautiful man before me; perfectly flawed, beautifully broken. He was everything I wasn't expecting to find, and my heart—as much as I didn't want to admit it—was now his.

I hated having to leave so early for a shift at Joe's, but I needed to open. Ryker, saying he's still respecting my space, slept in another room. I felt his absence, and I woke up missing him more than normal. How can I miss someone who's only a few feet away from me?

I shake my head at myself, getting ready for the morning. I pull my hair up, slide my jeans up my legs, and pull one of Ryker's shirts on over my body. I know it looked ridiculous to wear something this big, but I wanted a little bit of him with me today.

I quietly leave, since we hadn't gotten more than four hours of sleep, and make my way to town. I walk, enjoying the cool summer air this early in the morning, admiring the beautiful sounds of birds chirping.

When I make it to Joe's, he and Ophelia had said their good mornings to me as I rushed to the back to clock in. Once open, Joe's became pretty busy. I was taking orders to tables and wiping them down all day, since everyone decided to come here for breakfast.

My morning was made better when I saw Julia saunter in here, dressed with a fancy blue shirt and white slacks. She looked great for her age.

I brought her food to her table with a smile, to which she eyes me suspiciously.

"You're awfully cheery today," she smirks. "Who's the guy?"

I flush. "Ms. Julia," I scoff. "What makes you think it's a guy?"

"Please," she snorts. "I know that look—you're smitten." She clasps her hands together. "Who is he?"

I shake my head, a smile forming just at the thought of Ryker.

"His name is Ryker."

She gasps slightly. "Ryker Brooks? As in, the Brooks that own a bunch of companies now because his father buys a bunch of them?"

I shrug. I never really asked about Ryker's family business because I never wanted to bother him with it. But...

"Companies? Plural?" I tilt my head.

She nods. "Oh yeah. He has a few here, but I also believe he owns some internationally, too."

Holy crap.

"Huh. I guess."

Julia takes a gulp of her coffee. "He's gotta be loaded, and he's easy on the eyes. Nice choice, Maddi." She smiles.

Something about that rubbed me the wrong way. Ryker told me his dad had money, but I didn't know about it. And I wasn't with Ryker for the money, either. Is that why people tried so hard to get close to him? Are people seriously that shallow?

I went through the rest of the morning with that sitting in the back of my mind. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Then it hit me—Olivia.

What if Olivia was with Ryker for the same reasons? Using him for money and whatever the hell else there is? It'd make sense, why she's with Kyler now. She's keeping it in the family.

But then I remember her lingering glances towards Ryker, and how she was smirking whenever Ryker got super upset. Like she enjoyed it. Like it was some kind of thrill for her.

There's something more to that story. And I needed to warn Ryker.

When my shift ended around one, I fast walked home. I needed to know if Ryker felt anything off when he saw Olivia, because he knows her best. And I needed to warn him, so he can warn his brother. As much as they don't get along, they're still family.

When I walk into Ryker's house, I look around, but it's quiet.

"Ryker?"

I call his name up the stairs, then walked to the kitchen when I got nothing back. I looked around, frown on my lips. Where'd he go?

I walked over to the window, which is when I hear it, the sound of punches hitting the bag outside. I couldn't see from here where he has his set up, so I walked through the kitchen and to the garage. I push open the door and freeze in my steps.

Ryker was going at the punching bag like there was no tomorrow. Fast punches kept landing, over and over. But my eyes were fixated on his broad back, his muscles constricting every time he'd throw a punch. He'd lift his leg, kneeing the bag, and continue punching.

I can see the thin layer of sweat coating his back, his wet hair flopping around as he continues his assault on the hanging fabric. Every step he made was calculated, like he was imagining someone was fighting him back...like he was practicing.

Ryker kicks the bag with his foot, grunting out a frustrated breath. When he turns to me, with his hands on his hips and struggling to breathe, I feel my eyes widen.

He was pissed. He's been good about controlling his anger, but something happened to make him lash out like this.

"Maddison." His voice is constrained as he's deep breathing, which sounds really hot. "When did you get back?"

What? Oh. Right.

"I, uh," I shake my head, trying not to focus on his bare chest. "Just now."

He nods, just watching me. I couldn't think straight when he looks like that.

"D-did something happen?" I stutter out.

Ryker huffs, turning away from me and reaching for his bag on the steps. He pulled out a small towel and started wiping his forehead.

My lips pull down, upset that he just blatantly ignored me.

"Ryker."

"What, Maddison?"

The coldness and edge in his voice made my stomach drop. What the heck happened?

I say nothing, which makes him turn to face me. "What?"

I can feel the irritation and anger bubbling inside me.

"I asked you a question."

"And I don't feel like answering."

My jaw drops. "Excuse me?"

"I don't feel like answering."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Well, I'm asking, Ryker. You don't have to be a dick about it."

Hands still on his hips, he shrugs. "Do you see me calling you out when you're a bitch when you're upset?" I blink as his words sting. "No. So, back off, Maddison."

"You..." I shake my head, anger trying to take over my tongue. "You have no—"

"Just go inside, Maddison."

I scoff, completely taken away by this. Who is this person before me? Because it's not my Ryker.

"You're upset," I say, surprisingly calm. "And I get that. Sure, I haven't been the easiest to talk to when I'm like that. But I have never disrespected you like that." My eyes are watering because of how mad I am. "So cool off."

He scoffs in disbelief. "Cool off? Cool off." He pushes his hand through his damp hair and shakes his head. "You wouldn't know what it's like to be in my shoes, Maddison. Having the family I have."

"Wow," I nod. "So now I don't know, somehow? A drunk father who loathes your existence and a sister you can't see because you're not good enough to be seen with her." I lift a shoulder. "I have no idea what it's like to have a messed up family."

"Maddison." He looks down, sighing.

"Ryker." I counter.

He lifts his eyes back to mine. "You don't understand my family; the pressure of needing to live up to something you don't want to, the disappointment in their face when they look at you, the constant manipulation to try and be something I'm not." The anger was back in his eyes. "I can't have one fucking conversation without it being thrown in my face, being told I'm wasting my life. Never having anyone stand behind me and w—"

"See, that's where you're wrong." I shake my head, cutting him off. "Because I've always been behind you."

Ryker's eyes widened and I scoffed sadly. Now I understand how he felt when he tried to tell me something and I didn't believe him.

"From the moment I saw your family, I stood behind you, Ryker. I've been asking and asking to see your stuff because I know you're gonna be great at it. Your family sucks, Ryker, but they just don't see you the way I do." I feel my eyes water again...but not from anger, from sadness. "You don't deserve the shit they give you. But I do understand being who you are, despite everything."

Ryker was silent, eyes watching me carefully.

"I get you." I reassure. "When you get over whatever the hell is eating you up and realize that, you know where to find me."

I walk inside and head towards the room I've been using. I close the door and cross my arms over my body.

I didn't know that loving someone can go from being so joyous to so upsetting. But it actually hurt me to hear him say that nobody got him, or stood beside him, when I have. I can see him, underneath his tough exterior, and see how truly tender and sentimental he is. But I guess this is what I deserve for doing the same to him.

A soft knock on the door startles me.

"Maddison?" Ryker's voice is soft, making my heart leap. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." My voice is shaky, and it wasn't until then that I realized I had started to cry.

When Ryker opened the door, his brows raised when he saw me, walking across the room towards me.

"Maddison," he whispers, placing his hands on my cheeks and using his thumbs to wipe my tears. "Don't cry."

My eyes were scanning his, trying to understand what he was carrying on his shoulders all on his own.

"Please," his voice breaks, pressing his forehead against mine. "I don't want to be the reason you cry."

"I don't know why I'm crying." I admit with a soft chuckle.

Ryker softly presses his lips against my cheek, kissing my tears.

"I'm sorry, Maddison." He whispers, lips barely brushing my lips. "I'm such a fuck up."

My hands move to his neck, gripping gently. I pull back, just a tad, to look at his beautiful eyes.

"You're not."

"The fuck I'm not. You're crying because of me."

I shake my head. "Ryker, listen to me. We're both gonna make mistakes in this. It's new for both of us, and getting used to that takes some time."

He sighs, pressing his forehead against mine again. "It's just, my dad comes calling, offering me again to come to the company, and when I say no, he tells me I'm throwing my life away. And that he's disappointed in me."

I move back, grabbing his hand and moving towards the bed. He sits beside me, holding my hand in his.

"Kyler called after, trying to tell me that I should just listen to dad, hear him out. Something about the pitch being much more than I expect? I don't even know. I just told him if he's gonna be dad's little messenger boy, don't even bother."

I squeeze his hand to continue.

"It's just hard being the disappointment of the family, you know?" His voice cracks, obviously completely vulnerable. "I don't want to be looked down for trying to do what makes me happy."

"I know it's not much," I give a small, sad smile. "But I don't look down on you. You have me."

"Not much?" Ryker scoffs. "It's all I ever wanted, Maddison. You have no idea just how fucking important you are to me."

Abruptly, Ryker stands and walks to his desk. He shuffles around some things he had scattered on it until he grabs a sheet of paper, turning to me slowly. I watch as he stands in front of me and holds it out to me.

I reach for it, turning it towards me. I can guess this is Ryker's handwriting, being that it wasn't terribly messy, but not quite neat, either. My eyes start to scan the page, my heart in my throat.

Lost
It's not an easy journey
From the start, losing hope to be found
Giving in to the weight of the world
Letting it tie its noose around your neck

Until you
Your smile hides your pain
Your eyes scream to be heard
Entranced in your goodness
You push past what I think,
You make me feel alive

It wasn't until you that I realized it;
I was lost in a sea of despair,
Waiting for the currents to pull me under.
Now that I have you,
You're pulling me free from the grips of death
You've awakened what's truly in me

My vision is clouded by the time I reach the end, tears threatening to spill out. Ryker kneels in front of me, grabbing my hands.

"You're all I ever wanted, Maddison—ever needed. You're right, you do see me. And I'm sorry I forgot that for a second. I won't again."

I grip his neck, smiling widely. "You wrote this when?"

Ryker's cheeks lightly flush. "I'm not sure. Ever since you..." he shrugs. "You're all I seem to write about. You asked to see my stuff, and I just-I didn't wanna freak you out or—"

I press my lips against his, unable to help myself. Because I think I just feel a little more in love with him.

"It's perfect, Ryker." I press my palm to his face. "You're perfect."

He smiles before he presses his lips against mine again, making me chuckle.

I don't care what it is. Ryker is worth fighting for. And I'll keep fighting for him to see what I see in him, no matter how long it takes.

A/N

Raddison is goals, honestly.

Thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to vote, comment, etc!! <3