Song for the chapter: Running Away, by Hoobastank

Ryker POV

Maddison has been straight up ignoring me for three days. She wasn't answering my calls, she wasn't texting me back. And I was starting to lose my mind. She wasn't at home after her shifts, because the lights were off.

Or, again, she was ignoring me.

What the hell did I do? Was she regretting what we did the other day? Because...that was one of the best moments of my life and if she's doubting it, she doesn't have to. I love her and everything with her was like the first time all over again.

I couldn't stand the silence between us anymore. So I was showing up to her job. I don't care if she'd get mad at me; I needed anything other than her silence, even her anger.

Putting my car in park, I head right inside Lowe's with determination. My eyes scan the crowd, willing to see her usual messy bun and bright blue eyes. But I didn't. Hell, usually I could almost sense some kind of pull towards her if she was around, and I wasn't.

Taking a deep inhale, I walk the store a bit. Maybe she's on a break, or maybe she's just not where she normally is. I'm pretty sure she works in different parts. Right? Hell, I don't even know how a real job actually works around here.

"Hey," I casually here beside me.

My brows knit together as I see those light brown eyes that Maddison's become oddly comfortable with. He looks lost for words for a moment.

"Shit. I know your name starts with an R. Ronald?"

"Ryker." I correct with distaste.

"Right, right." He nods.

I know he's just Maddison's friend, or whatever. But I can't help the way the jealousy is radiating off me right now; like, I'm really hoping he's feeling it and knows that Maddison is mine.

He awkwardly clears his throat. "Hey, is Maddi okay?"

I blink twice. "What do you mean? I thought she was here."

At this, doe eyes brows furrows. "Maddi hasn't shown up to work for the past two days."

Fucking hell. My chest starts to tighten as realization starts to settle on me, that something is seriously wrong with Maddison.

I can't even hear what he's trying to say to me over the ringing in my ears. I start to walk out of the store, hearing my breathing turn shallow as I reach the automatic doors. My hands are shaking as I grab my keys, unlock my door and get in my car.

Long breath in through my nose, out through my mouth. I kept repeating that over and over until I got to Maddison's apartment. If she wasn't at work, she had to be here. She just had to be. I knew she wasn't at home with that shitty dad of hers.

I use the spare key she gave to me to open the doors and walk the corridor to her door. I knock, fast and hard, waiting to hear anything on the other side.

"Maddison?" I call. "Maddison!"

I pound on the door, waiting to see if she answered. When she never came, I shook my head.

"Fuck it."

I used the key and opened the door. I walk straight to her room, but it was empty. I frantically search the whole damn place, but she was nowhere in sight. The more I see that she's not here, the worse my breathing gets; the air seems to literally refuse to enter my lungs as I clutch my chest.

In a frantic state of mind, I dial her number. Of course, just like the past few days, it's gone straight to voicemail.

"Fuck!" I scream, slamming my phone against the counter.

I lean my head down, the light rattling in my chest becoming more prominent. I close my eyes and my mind fills with images of her—every time she's smiled at me, laughed, pouted.

I dial another number.

"Yo."

"She's gone, bro."

"What do you mean?" Kyler's voice was serious.

"I thought she was just mad at me for..." I stop myself. "Doesn't matter. But she's not here. She's not answering her phone, and she's not here."

I can't breathe. Oh shit, I can't breathe.

"Ryker, listen to me. You need to take a breath and take your inhaler. Where are you?"

"Her apartment." I wheeze.

"Alright, take a fucking pump right now, shithead. Then we can talk like rational adults."

I roll my eyes, walking to Maddison's room. She kept one of my spares in here in case I ever needed one while I was over. I opened her nightstand drawer, grabbed my inhaler and took a deep, long breath of the bitter, nasty medicine.

I could feel my lungs expanding, but the anxious feeling was still gnawing at me.

"Now. What do you mean she's gone? She didn't just leave you, bro. She loves you too much, it's disgusting."

"Shut up," I take another pump, feeling my lungs expand. "Maddison has a tendency to run from her problems."

"Wow, sounds like someone I know."

"Fuck. You."

"Just look at her stuff. If she took a lot of shit, then you know that she's gone gone. If not, then maybe you're just overthinking it."

I sigh and look around. I don't see really anything of Maddison's gone. Everything looks relatively normal. I noticed that some of her stuff was ruffled up and messy, which wasn't normal, but other than that, everything was here.

"I-I can't fucking tell, Kyler."

"Calm down." He states. "Maybe she just needed a break, you know? With all this court shit, I know I would've. Taken a couple days to herself."

I clench my jaw together. It's not that I don't appreciate him trying to help, because I do. But he just doesn't know her like I do; we made plans to see each other the next day, and she just vanished? She didn't even bother to tell me?

Something is fucking wrong, I can feel it in the pit of my stomach.

"There a place she'd go to just to escape for a bit?"

I run my hand through my hair as I walk through her hall, back to her living room. My eyes catch her wall of pictures and I freeze. I'm a fucking idiot!

"Oh my gosh," I scoff. "I think so. I-I'll call you back."

I rush out of her apartment and back down to my car. I pull up the address that Maddison had previously put in my phone and speed the entire way there. I'm actually surprised that I didn't get pulled over, but I'm damn glad.

When I pull up to Maddison's grandparents house, I don't even take the key out of the ignition. I leave it there and run out to the front door, where Phoebe was already walking out to meet me.

"Is she here?" I pant.

Her blue eyes were sad. "Are you the reason she's like...that?"

I shake my head. "I promise I'm not."

She gives a gentle nod. "Alright. She's in there. Last door on the left. Phil and I are going to town for a bit."

Phoebe gives me a smile and grabs her bag. Phil was coming out with the keys and gave me a glare.

"Oh, Phil. Come on, now." Phoebe grabs his arm and drags him along. "See you soon."

I nod as they walk off. I immediately walk in, going down the way she directed me. My hair was grazing against the low ceilings as I finally stood before the wooden door.

I could feel it, feel her. I swallow and grab the doorknob. I twist it and push the door open. My eyes instantly land on her body, turned away from me, facing the window.

She made no move to turn to look at me, or see who was at the door. But I see her head turn in the slightest manner and her body tense, clutching the covers closer to her.

I sigh, crossing the small distance between us. At the sound of my footsteps, she brings the covers over her face.

"Maddison."

"Go away, Ryker."

Shit. I won't lie and say that didn't hurt, cause it did.

"No."

That made her poke her head out, only enough to let me see her eyes. And what I saw felt like someone stabbed my gut and twisted the knife—her usually bright eyes were dull, almost lifeless. Under her eyes were dark, close to black, like she hadn't slept in weeks. And her eyes were red, like she'd been crying forever.

"I don't want you here."

The frown on my face deepened. "Don't do this to me, Maddison Elliah. You don't get to push me away."

She rolls her eyes and gives me her back again. What the fuck did this to her?

I tried to reach out and place my hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away from me. My brows knit together as I retract it.

"Maddison. Look at me."

I see her shoulders fall and rise as her breathing changes, but she doesn't listen. This makes me clench my jaw.

"Maddison. I said, look at me." Again, she doesn't. "Maddison, fucking look at me!"

This causes her to twist, rather quickly, and her blue eyes to stare at me, brows furrowed together in anger.

"What the hell do you want from me?"

I don't say anything; I just grab her neck and kiss her lips. I honestly don't know if this was the best way to go about it, but I couldn't help myself.

She fought it at first. She tried pushing against my shoulders for a couple seconds, until she melted into the kiss. Her lips lapped against mine in an urgency that made my stomach flip and my dick spring right to attention.

She pushed her tongue into my mouth, a low groan escaping my lips at the contact. She was in complete control right now and I had no objections. She grabbed my shirt, pulling me down until I was hovering over her. Her legs were parted, wrapped around my waist, a perfect fit for me, and only me.

She grabbed my hand, trying to guide me down her body. This is what felt like a bucket of ice water.

"Maddison, wait."

"Make me forget, Ryker." She pleaded.

I look at her. "Forget what?"

She turns her head away, her bottom lip tremble. "Forget that I'm a weak, pathetic girl with a dead mom and deadbeat dad and who nobody cares about."

I kneel, looking at her. Her eyes shut, tears streaming down her face. And it feels like my heart completely shatters. Because whoever said this shit to her actually broke her—her spirit, the bubbly fighter and spunk she has is gone. And now, it's just this before me: the girl who thinks she's weak and forgotten.

I grab her waist, lifting her up to my body. She's practically limp as she cries, which makes me close my eyes, so my own tears won't fall. I wrap my arms around her, soothingly rubbing my hand up and down her back, letting her silently sob on my chest.

After a while, she finally wraps her arms around my neck and hugs onto me for dear life. Her body starts to shake with sobs and her tears fall more uncontrolled as I continue to hold her, a piece of my heart breaking with every strangled cry she lets go, every tear that falls on my shoulder.

"Why do you want someone as broken as me?"

Her question cut through me like a knife slicing through bread. How the—

I pull back to look at her now puffy, red face. I use the pad of my thumbs to dry her face as she looks at me...well, looks through me.

"Listen to me, Maddison." I inhale. "You are not fucking broken. You are not weak. You are not pathetic. So you have a shitty dad, so what? Your mom was taken too soon. All that doesn't define who you are, Maddison." I press my palms against her face. "You're bright, and strong, and you fight despite all the shit you've endured."

"I am weak," she hiccuped a breath. "I run from my shit. I've ran from you for how long?"

I shake my head. "That doesn't matter because look at us now. I love you. You love me still, don't you?" When she gives me a weak nod, I let go of a shaky breath. "So what? What happened, Maddison? What the hell went wrong? Please, tell me. Because if it's me, and I made you feel like this, tell me. I never want to make you feel like you're weak or anything. And if it's not me, then tell me who the fuck had the nerve to try and say that you're not the strongest woman I know because seeing you like this? It's breaking my heart."

That got some kind of reaction in her eyes. I saw her eyes widen slightly as she looked up at me.

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true, Maddison. You sitting here, crying, while I sit here like a dumb fuck doing nothing, it's the worst feeling in the world."

Her eyes watered again, which made me feel like shit.

"Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, I—"

"It's not you, Ryker." She shakes her head. "I hate hearing that I hurt you. It makes me feel so much worse than anything else."

"You didn't." I tuck her hair behind her ear. "But please, tell me who hurt you."

She closes her eyes as she shakes her head. "It's not anyone. I'm just," she opens her eyes slowly. "I'm dropping the case."

"That's bullshit. You've been wanting to fight for this for years."

She twists her lips. "Not anymore."

"You're lying to me."

Her cheeks flush light pink. "I'm not."

"Maddison," I grab her hand and lift it to my chest. "Do you feel that? Do you?" I ask her, which she nods weakly. "That shit right there beats for you, and only you. Do you get that? So when you're hurt, I'm hurt. And when you try to push me away and lie to my face, it feels like you're literally stomping the shit out of it."

Her frown grows as she looks down.

"Please, baby." I gently grab her chin between her fingers and coax her to look up at me. "Don't lie to me."

She lets out a shaky breath, then grabs my hands between hers. She laces our fingers together, the action making my stomach flutter.

"Marsha was in my house the other night."

"Who's Marsha?"

"Joey's step mom."

I nod. "What did she want?"

The slow blink and tight-lipped frown told me everything I needed to know. I could feel the anger radiating in my body.

"She just told me to back off the court case, really. It wasn't good for her image, which I wouldn't know anything about."

Of course, that's why she threw the fact about her mom and dad in her face. Bitch.

"And then she..."

"What?"

She looked at me with very cautious eyes, which made me feel uneasy.

"Maddison. What did she do?"

"She didn't do anything." She squirmed. "Marsha's just a stupid bitch, okay? She's all talk, I got all freaked out and bent out of shape for nothing. She just threatened me if I didn't, so I ran like a coward. And I mean, obviously she can't, right? That's insane. So, whatever."

She was trying to cover up the obvious fear that was eating her up. She was trying to play it off as nothing when this shit was something. This stupid bitch threatened my girlfriend?

"What did she say, Maddison?"

I can hear the calmness in my voice, danger laced at the edges which made Maddison look at me. She dropped our hands and took my face between hers.

"Hey. Look at me. It's nothing."

"The fuck it's not!" I explode, which makes her jump. "I have never actually felt a murderous rage until right now." I truthfully say. "She made you run away, Maddison. For three days, without even fucking telling me anything. Do you understand how that feels? To be without you?"

I know that yelling at her isn't going to solve anything, but right now, it feels like the only right thing to do.

"She made you feel so scared that you couldn't even come to me! And I felt so fucking sick and lost without you! You may be fine without me, but I sure as shit am not fine without you. Do you know why? Because I love you, Maddison! I love the shit out of you. I love you so much, it fucking hurts."

I don't know why, at this point, tears brimmed my eyes. But they did.

"You mean the whole world to me, baby. And I tell you that, you don't believe me. But some irrelevant bitch tells you that nobody cares about you, and you believe that shit? How-how is that fair? I am right in front of you, telling you that I love you, Maddison. That I'd literally die for you. That you are the other half of my soul, and you don't believe me."

"Ryker. Ryker," her tears stream down her face again as she presses her forehead against mine. "I believe you, I believe you."

I look at her. "Do you?"

She nods. "Yes, Ryker. You're the only one who's ever seen me and loved me despite all my shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't come to you."

She wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her close to me as she cries again.

"Don't be sorry, baby. I'm here. I got you."

I keep whispering that to her for a long time; long after I hear her grandparents return, long after the sun comes and goes. Maddison has kept so much inside, bottled up for so long that she just needed to let go. And she did.

And even after she stopped crying, I still held her. I held her against my body and told her again and again that I had her and I'd never leave her. I know that she's got so much going on in that beautiful mind of hers, but I wouldn't let her overthink or push me away.

I was here to stay.

When her eyes started getting heavy, I wrapped my arms around her, nestling her close.

"You know I'm not letting you give up, right?"

She, finally, cracks a tiny smile. "Yeah."

"Good."

"Ryker?"

"Yes, baby?" I look down at her.

"Don't ever let me go. Please."

"Fuck no. You're mine."

I press a kiss to the top of her head as I see a ghost of a smile on her lips. I run my hand up and down her arm before I finally say, "Don't ever let me go, either."

But she was already fast asleep.

A/N

This was so different than the original jddjdndn how we feeling 👀

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