chapter one

You know the moment that you drift back into the real world, slowly coming back into your own body as you awake from slumber? But before the you even open your eyes, all the stresses of the day ahead of you hits your like a freight train?

Yeah, that was every day for me.

I dreaded the day before it even began—before I even opened my eyes. I just lay here and dread opening them because once I do, I know I have to spring into action.

That's just the unfortunate life of Maddison James, I suppose.

I slowly open my eyes, the light too bright for this early. I turn on my back, stretching out my limbs. Minus well start the day.

I get up and walk across the hall to my bathroom. I pee first, always having to pee in the morning as soon as I wake up. After, I walk to the sink and wash my hands, looking at my reflection in the mirror.

Gosh, did I seriously look that bad? My blonde hair was a matted mess, my blue eyes bright, but I can clearly see the remains of yesterday's mascara that didn't wash off. Maybe I should shower. That'd wake me up.

I brush my mouth first, making sure I killed the nasty scent. I walked to the shower and turned on the shower, keeping a safe distance from the mirror as I stripped. My feet were cold on the tile as I waited for the water to warm. Once it did, I hopped in, letting the hot water run down my body.

I hated taking a shower because I was forced to look at my body; my body was the epitome of my insecurity. I was overweight and I knew it, I had just let go once I lost my mom.

My mom and I were best friends—I was lucky to have a mom like that. She was cool and laid back, but strict when she needed to be. She loved me and my sister both fiercely, even if my sister doesn't remember her the way I do. She was only nine or ten when she passed, I was seventeen. I had a longer time with her than she did.

My sister had a different dad; my dad left for a while, a few years and my mom had met some dude, started dating her and got her knocked up. But once he heard that, he left. So she was on her own. It was just me, mom and Joey. About a year after Joey was born, dad came back, begging for mom to forgive him and take him back.

Truth be told, mom never stopped loving dad. She was sad he left and she just settled, knowing he was happy with someone else. But dad had said he wasn't happy and he missed her. They quickly reconciled and was remarried, stayed together until the day she died.

That day changed all of us. Dad just...broke. Something inside of him died when mom died, but it did for me, too. I felt like I lost a part of me, my heart. Like she took it with her to the grave. Jo is young, she has happy memories of mom. She didn't seem to have to grieve long when mom passed. She seemed fine.

I wish I was fine.

Because I was sad, I ate. I don't know what in my brain just registered to eat, but I didn't stop. I've always loved food, but this went to a whole other extent. I ate uncontrollably, all hours of the day. I didn't want to feel pain, so I stuffed my face instead. I stuffed it so much so I'd almost throw up, or successfully do so. I'd rather myself be uncomfortable from food than feel the pain of my mother being gone.

Food was a comfort for me people never were.

When mom died, Joey's dad and new step mom came in and took her back, claiming custody of her. I never got to have a normal sisterhood with her, especially when her evil step-monster started turning her dad against me. And dad, he just turned to the bottle, numbing his pain.

So I was left alone.

When I started to eat, that's when the weight started packing in. I'd been a normal sized girl, not too skinny, not too fat. But normal, for me. Afterwards, I was the size of a balloon. I just blew up and couldn't stop. So, I couldn't blame anyone other than myself for what happened to me. For hating myself the way I do, now.

I shut off the water, wrapping a towel around my hair first, then my body. I avoid the mirror as I rush out of the bathroom and towards my room. I grab my phone and check the time, already almost nine. I had to hustle.

I dried my body up quickly, putting on a black bra and matching black underwear. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tank top, but pulled a black cardigan over it. While I had been working to lose weight, I still had a long way to go. My upper body was better than my lower, so I was more comfortable with wearing tanks. But not in public.

I slid on some flats and grabbed my makeup bag, looking at myself in the vanity. I sigh, my blue eyes looking tired and worn out. I put on mascara and lip gloss, then puffed my cheeks with some blush, making myself look like I had some color, some life. I brush through my wet hair and twist it into a bun, tying it in its rightful place.

Set to go, I grabbed my handy-dandy backpack and slipped my phone in my back pocket. I walked down the stairs, pausing when I saw my dad on the couch. I could just leave...

But I couldn't. He was lightly snoring on the couch, the bottle of vodka on the floor next to his hand. I groan before I walk up to him and shake him enough to wake him up so I can help maneuver him up to his room.

He slurred as I hooked his arm around my shoulders.

"Maddi?" His speech was slurred and breath reeked.

"Not now, dad. Just help me get you upstairs."

"Since when are you so disrespectful?" He hiccups as we trudge up the steps, his weight too much for me. "And when did you start wearing makeup?"

I roll my eyes. "I always have."

"Don't be sassy, girl." He pointed a finger at me.

"Whatever."

He scoffed. "You can try to cover it up all you want, but you'll always be Fatty Maddi. No way around it."

I just took a deep inhale. He's drunk, Maddison, he doesn't mean it.

Doesn't he, though?

I threw him on his bed once I got to it with a huff, putting my hands on my hips. He moved up and grabbed the pillow—mom's pillow—and fell right to sleep. My gaze softened, making me pull the blanket out from under him and throw it over his body.

I walked out of the room and walked down the stairs, out of the front door. I walked down the sidewalk, pausing to pet Mrs. Chesney's dog, who's in a sweater.

"Aw, hi, baby." I coo. "Doesn't your crazy mommy know you're gonna overheat in this? It's gonna be hot today." I pet her head.

It wasn't a lie; for Montana, high eighties was hot.

Mrs. Chesney walked on her front porch, calling for her baby, Tracy.

"Morning, Mrs. Chesney." I call out to her with a wave.

She waves with a kind smile before she walks in with her dog and shuts the door. When I hear a metal clank, I turn my head to the side and my mood immediately plummets.

There was hot guys in the world, the actors and model-types that are just so effortlessly good looking it's not even fair. You know, like the Hemsworth brothers, Chris Evans, Matthew Daddario and Max Thieriot. Well, Ryker Brooks was one of them.

Ryker Brooks was your typical bad boy next door wannabe; he was hot and he knew it. He didn't have to try to have the single moms in their thirties who ran around the block giggling as they ran by when he nodded at them; he didn't have to try to have girls lined up day after day to work on their car, trying to get his attention and probably sleep with each one of them afterwards; he didn't have to try to be gorgeous and stupid, he just was.

He was, like, six-two, six-three. He has beautiful hazel eyes and dark raven hair, complimented by sun kissed tan skin. Being shirtless as he is right now, and almost all the time, you can see his broad shoulders and defined abs. He had a defined jaw that looked like it could slice you with one touch, full lips, thick lashes and straight brows. He was beautiful, but an all-around ass.

Like, did he really need to be working on his hot car this early in the morning, shirtless, when it wasn't even hot yet? No, I don't think so.

But he just loved himself an obscene amount, I guess.

His gaze shifted to mine, the corners of his mouth shifting upward momentarily in his annoying signature smirk. His head lifted, acknowledging my presence. I scoff dramatically and roll my eyes, walking on my merry way.

Ryker Brooks and I never got along, since the day he moved in. It's been four and a half years of the same thing: me accidentally catching his gaze and him doing the same, annoying smirk and nod, knowing full well how much it irks my nerves. Even when he'd try to say hi to me, I'd tell him to get out of my face, because he's so irritating.

I walked myself to town, which was about a twenty or so minute walk, depending on my pace. I prefer walking to driving, plus I burn calories, too. I make my way to Treeline and push the door open, seeing the curly hair I was used to seeing for the past four years.

"Hey, Kar." I smile at the one and only person I'd considered a friend.

Karmiah Bell; tall, skinny, beautiful with beautifully colored skin, thanks to her mixed parents. She had these huge, round, pouty lips, a pointed nose and diamond-shaped face. She has slender brown eyes, arched brows and curly brown hair that faded into a lighter shade of brown towards the end. My favorite part? The freckles that danced across her cheeks and bridge of her nose.

Karmiah was gorgeous. She was beautiful without having to try, but she was also kind. She had a body that could stop a truck, but was never vain about it. She was so skinny, but never made fun of my weight. She just was a pure soul, the kind the world needed more of.

And, she never pried. Never asked too many questions. I appreciated that more than she knew.

"Hey, Maddi." She smiles back at me. "Jeremiah came by already, said he'd bring us our usual."

"That's sweet." I sigh.

"I think he just likes you." She teases.

I snort. "Yeah, right."

A few moments passed before Jeremiah came up behind the counter, placing Kar's iced coffee in front of her and my mocha with almond milk and whip in front of me. He smiles kindly at us.

"Can I get you ladies anything else?"

"Not today, Jer."

"I'm good," I chuckle. "Thanks, anyway."

Jeremiah flushes slightly before he nods and walks away back to other customers.

"Maybe he has a crush on you." I raise a brow.

Karmiah laughs and shakes her head. "No way. I don't think I'm his type." She sips from her straw. "Did you hear back from Baxter Creek yet?"

I nod, hiding my excitement. "You?"

"I got the internship!"

"Me, too!"

She squealed, wrapping her long arms around my shoulders. I smile, hugging her back. She looks at me, pushing her curls behind her ear.

"I'm so excited, Baxter Creek looks like the most promising vet—learning from them is gonna be epic."

"Tell me about it; doing it together is gonna be fun."

She drinks more, so I do the same.

"So, I have a confession to make." She looks at me with a slightly guilty expression.

I narrow my eyes at her. "What?"

"You remember Ben, right?" I nod. "Well...remember his best friend that he's been dying to get into business with, cause he's like a great mechanic but don't wanna work for anyone?"

"Yeah?" I raise a brow.

"Well," she wrings her fingers together. "Apparently it's Ryker."

I scoff in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"Small world, huh?" She chuckles nervously before her smile falls. "You're not mad, are you?"

I exhale through my nose. "No, Karmiah. I know how long you've been crushing on Ben; he's not the irritating, superficial, egotistical one I detest."

Karmiah slightly smiles. "What did he do to make you so angry at him?"

I shrink in my seat, taking a sip of my mocha. "It's not important."

"It is, if it's still got you so upset; you can tell me."

I look at her kind brown eyes, then sigh. "Okay, okay. Ryker moved into our neighborhood, like, four...almost five years ago now? A few days after he moved in, my sister tried to encourage me to bring him some cookies or brownies or something as a housewarming gift." I roll my eyes at the memory. "He took one look at me, since I'm fat, and—"

"You're not, Maddi." She frowns.

"Well, I was much bigger then than I was now. And he laughed at me, told me it'd be more useful to me and shut the door in my face. I threw the plate against the side of his house," I say with a small chuckle. "And I never looked at him the same."

Did I have butterflies when I first saw him up close? Yes; like I said, Ryker Brooks is beautiful. And up close, you can see the piercing in his right ear and his lip. He's too beautiful to look at.

But he's an ass.

"I'm sorry, Mads," she puts her hand on my shoulder. "I wish I would've known that before. That's kind of a dick thing to do."

I snort. "Yeah. But I mean," I shrug. "He did motivate me to workout some, start to get in shape."

Not a total lie; I did start going to the gym for a little while after that. But...circumstances arose, which is I started walking everywhere instead. Win-win.

"For what it's worth," Kar leans in. "I think you're beautiful the way you are."

My cheeks heat at that. Her phone vibrates and she checks it, quickly rising to her feet.

"I'm so sorry, Maddi. I have to run; my little brother needs a ride from his friends house. He got sick or something. I'll text you?"

I smile. "No problem. Drive safe."

I wave her off as she rushes out of the small café, putting my elbows on the counter. I drink the rest of my mocha, swinging my feet back and forth until I feel ready to leave. I slap a twenty on the counter, feeling generous towards Jeremiah today.

As I fix my cardigan around my shoulders, I see the clouds have rolled in and darkened the sky, matching my mood. My phone vibrates, making me look at it.

Joey ❤️: Meet me in the library in ten?

I smile, my mood lifting slightly.

Maddison: See you there










A/N

Welcome to As Fate Would Have It! I really hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, and stay put for the rest of the story!

Thanks for reading, lovelies! Don't forget to vote, comment, etc! <33

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