Song for the chapter: Into You (sad version), by Ariana Grande

Kiss me, Maddison.

It was a demand, a plea...a pleaded demand. I can't believe that I had let myself fall for that.

A moment of weakness, that's what it was. I could sum it up to a moment of weakness. I didn't need any other explanation than that.

Then why'd you enjoy it so much?

I hit my head against my pillow, trying to drown out my stupid subconscious and the memories of last night, but they just kept resurfacing.

His lips were hot, soft and plump against my own. Feverish and needy. The moment I parted my own lips for him, he greedily took what I gave and it caused a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach, wrestling the butterflies. His big hands possessively gripping my neck, keeping me in place, the cool touch of his lip ring against my skin...

"Okay," I mutter as I get up from the bed.

Obviously, lying here wasn't gonna work. So I walked to the bathroom, peed and washed my hands before brushing my teeth. I looked in the mirror as I wiped my mouth with a hand towel.

I want to see you, Maddison. All of you.

I slap the edge of the sink and walk out. I trot down the stairs and open the fridge. It was nearly empty. I roll my eyes and open the pantry, but there was hardly anything, either. Saltines, tomato sauce, and pasta noodles. The fridge only held beer that my dad made sure he never ran out of, cheese, orange juice and a half empty carton of milk.

Great. Grocery run day. Lovely.

I shut the fridge and make my way back to my room, shutting my door and grabbing my phone.

Maddi: Hey Kar, you busy today?

I set the phone down on the bed as I open my closet. I normally always wear the same thing, so why act like I'm gonna wear something else? I chuckle as I grabbed a pair of denim jeans and a black shirt. I changed my sports bra to an actual bra before slipping on my shirt and pants. I walk back over to my bed to look at my phone.

Karmiah: Sorry, Mads! Gotta watch the little bro :/ something up?

Maddi: Nah just wondering

I sigh as I lock my phone. Karmiah usually has no problem picking me up and hanging out with me while I get the groceries I need and driving me home. But she's busy and now I'm freaking out because I need to do this.

Shoot.

I take a breath as I calmly put my phone in my pocket and grab my brush, combing through my hair. I reach for my scrunchie, but realize freaking Ryker never gave it back. My favorite black velvet scrunchie, ugh. I opened my drawer and fished out another one, blue, and tied up my hair with it.

I grab my wallet and walked out of my room. I pause to grab dad's keys from the counter that he threw when he got in last night, or early this morning. I inhale, walking towards the garage. I open the door, eying the car carefully.

You can do this, Maddi. Stop being such a baby.

I nod at myself, taking a deep breath. I open the door, my hands shaking. I slap my hand over the other, willing it to stop shaking. I close my eyes and slide in the seat. But when I open them again, they go wide and my breathing becomes hyperventilation. All I can see is images of that day, replaying in my head over and over again.

I whimper as I fall out of the seat, crawling away from the car as fast as I can. My back hits the shelf of tools my dad has with a loud clank, but I couldn't care less. I couldn't breathe, my vision was blurry, full of images of cars piling on top of one another and—

"Maddison?"

I look up, my chest still heaving up and down. I see Ryker's hazel eyes on me, full of alarm.

"What's wrong?"

I blink a few times, trying to clear my vision. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hands and grip at the root of my hair.

"Hey," Ryker's voice was much closer now. I look up to see him kneeling in front of me. "How can I help?"

I didn't want his pity. But I couldn't stop myself from extending my hand out and holding out the keys to him. He didn't say anything; he just stood up and extended his hand to me. I tried to control my breathing a bit before I placed my hand in his. He pulled me up, like I weighed nothing, and brought me close to his chest. His hazel eyes bore into mine, making my chest flutter.

I drop my gaze and walk around the car. I get in and sit in silence as Ryker starts up the car.

"Where to?"

"Just the grocery store." I mumble.

The rest of the way, he's quiet. He doesn't pry, doesn't ask questions. He just drives and occasionally glances over at me, to which I pretend I wasn't hyper aware of his presence all around me.

When we pulled up, I open the door before he even gets a chance to think about it.

"Stay here. I'll be back."

I try to hurry in as fast as possible, but Ryker's already jogging up behind me before I walk through the automatic doors. I roll my eyes as I grab a cart.

I don't know how I feel, seeing Ryker trailing close behind me. I didn't even wanna do this anymore, second guessing everything that I was grabbing.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I suddenly whip around when I enter the bread isle and he's still following.

"Not really."

I roll my eyes. "Annoying."

I grab a loaf of bread and bag of tortillas before I continue down the store, grabbing shredded cheese, milk, cereal, ramen, soup and some vegetables. I make my way over to the hair care isle, looking for my shampoo.

When I hear giggling, I glance over and see a girl with short black hair talking to Ryker. She was tall, like five-eight and her body was impeccable. She was lean and toned and tan. I see her smiling flirtatiously at Ryker as Ryker just shrugs at her. I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy in my chest as my eyes trail down his crossed arms and I see it—my freaking scrunchie! It's on his wrist!

The nerve—

I let out an annoyed huff and grab my Garnier Fructis bottles and throw them in my cart. I hurry away, not wanting to intrude in any of that flirting going on. I grab a pack of Dove soap and of course, can't ever have too much chapstick.

I make my way towards self checkout when I feel him already behind me. I glower at Ryker before pushing forward and scanning my stuff.

"This is what you use?" He grabs my green shampoo bottle.

I snatch it away. "So?"

He chuckles. "So nothing. I was just wondering because your hair always smells good. Damn, Maddison, chill."

I roll my eyes. "Why don't you go back to that other chick who was so clearly interested in you? Just leave me alone."

"So that's what this is about?" Ryker turns and leans his hip against the small register. "You're jealous."

I scoff. "No I'm not."

"Yeah you are."

"I'm not." I state, more firm, as I grab the last of what's in my cart and scan it.

"So you wouldn't mind if I just went over there and asked her out on a date?"

I momentarily freeze. "No, of course not. Do whatever you want."

Ryker's quiet, so before I swipe my card, I steal a glance at him. He doesn't look angry, per say, but more...disappointed? I furrow my brows and insert my card, waiting for the machine to beep and tell me to take my receipt. Once it does, I do and fold it into my wallet. I push the cart out of the door, Ryker following behind me.

I loaded the car while Ryker just leaned his back against the car, looking up. I shook my head and bit my tongue, slamming the trunk closed and throwing the cart in the return thing. I ventured back to the car and got in with a huff. Ryker drove us home, tension so thick I could cut it with a knife.

When he finally pulled into my house, he didn't say anything. He simply dropped the keys into my hand and stalked back off across the street.

I kept all the profanities I wanted to scream at him at bay, taking the groceries inside. I put everything in its rightful place and placed my hands on the counter, looking out of the window. Ryker's house was of course in the line of view, and I couldn't contain it anymore.

I throw open the front door and stomp across my lawn, the road and his lawn. I walked up his driveway, the garage open. I curiously wandered in, seeing if maybe he was inside somewhere. I peeked under the car, but he wasn't there. I walked all around the surprisingly big space, but not here.

I almost left when Ryker opened the door, his black shirt now unbuttoned and exposing his black tank underneath. He was holding a towel in his hand, and had now changed from jeans to grey sweats. I swallowed hard.

"Maddison?" He raised a brow, almost amused. "Why are you hiding in my garage?"

Why did I come here? I freaking forgot why I marched myself over here. I focused in on the scrunchie on his wrist, deciding to go with that.

"That's mine." I hold out my hand. "I want it back."

He looked down at his wrist, looking back at me with a smirk. "This? That's why you came?" I nod, not trusting myself to speak. His eyes trailed down my body, then back up. "I don't believe that."

"I don't care what you believe." I retort. "Just give it to me."

He shrugged. I stepped towards him, but he lifted his arm in the air. I let out an annoyed exhale and he grinned.

"Come get it."

"You're acting like a child," I say between clenched teeth. "Give. It. Back."

Ryker's challenging gaze doesn't let up, so like an idiot, I jump for it. He doesn't budge, so I grab ahold of his shoulder and try to reach for it again, but I feel his arm wrap around my waist, caging me to his body.

"Ryker." I warn.

"Why do you fight this so much?" His question takes me completely off guard, making my heart race. "I know you feel it. I could tell by the way you kissed me last night."

I gulp. "Last night was a mistake."

His eyes narrow. "You're lying."

"I'm not."

His other hand comes down, his fingers lightly tracing my cheekbone. "You mean to tell me you feel nothing right now?"

Yes, God yes.

"No." I whisper.

Hurt, hurt, actually flashes in his eyes and his jaw tenses. He nods, releasing me.

"I'm sorry for pushing you." His voice was...detached.

He holds up my scrunchie, which I take. Ryker doesn't even look at me as he walks through the door, taking him out back. I blink, turning to leave, having every intention to. But my feet wouldn't move. My body wouldn't let me.

Instead, I found myself pushing through the door Ryker had just went through. He was already hitting the bag before him, but with nothing on to protect him. I ran across the yard and grabbed his shoulder, which had lost the button up.

He turned to me, chest rising and falling fast. I look at his beautiful hazel eyes, feeling a storm brewing inside me.

"To hell with it."

I yank both straps of his tank and tug his mouth down to mine. Our lips collide in rough manner, taking us both off guard, but Ryker doesn't hesitate to regain his composure.

I literally felt like a current was zipping through my body. Like every spot he touched was going to ignite on fire. Like my head was gonna explode and I was gonna float away all at the same time.

His mouth roughly kissed mine as he gripped my waist, my back hitting something I wasn't even aware of. The garage? Probably. I couldn't really focus on anything except him and the way his lips devoured mine, or the way his lip ring was pressing against my skin.

I suppress the sound threatening to escape my throat when Ryker nips at my bottom lip and pulls. I had a handful of kissing experiences in my life, and now Ryker was most of them.

He pulled back, breathing just as hard as me, almost as if he could sense my sudden insecurity. I kissed Peter in sophomore year, as part of truth or dare. I kissed Marco, the night he tried to force himself on me. And now Ryker, three times.

I just give him a tight lipped smile and rest my head against his shoulder. I don't know what he expects from me, or this...but I couldn't deny it any longer.

Despite the weird, conflicting emotions I had, I was very much into Ryker Brooks.

A/N

If you haven't heard this specific version of Into You... wyd??? Listen to it. It's very much a Maddison song 😩❤️ it's also just an early-on Raddison mood and sigh.

So, yeah. I can't help myself with updates, apparently? I hope you enjoyed reading, lovelies! Don't forget to vote, comment, etc!! <33