Song for the chapter: How to Be Human, by Chelsea Cutler

A couple days had passed since my fight with Ryker. He's been out and about, fixing things—cars—like normal. I had to stop myself from mentally rolling my eyes each time I saw him.

You wouldn't know what it's like to fight for what you want, to be me.

I had to admit, his words kept playing on repeat in my head ever since. What could Ryker Brooks possibly have to fight for? He seems to have everything he wants—not that it's much, but I assume so.

I mean, the guy lives on his own, probably gets good money from the cars he fixes in his garage. Could someone like Ryker even have dreams? Aspirations?

I snort at the thought; yeah, right. All pretty boys like Ryker care about is their image, their reputation, and when they can score the next lay.

"Rochelle?" I hear my dad slur his words, making my mood even worse.

I carefully walked down the hall, looking inside his room. He was asleep, stirring around, mumbling indistinctly.

"Ro?" He said again, lifting his arm out like he was reaching for her.

I walked in, shaking his shoulders gently. "Dad."

His eyes shot open, looking up at me. He looked momentarily confused before the anger creeped in.

"What the hell did you do that for?" He growls. "Get out!"

I sigh, not wanting a fight. Instead, I give a weak nod and walk out of his room.

"And don't fucking come back in here." He warns as I grab ahold of the doorknob.

I inhale and shut his door, not letting his words affect me. It's just him grieving. He doesn't mean it.

Doesn't he, though?

I shake it off and walk to my room, seeing my phone remind me I had a text.

Joey ❤️: Meet me in fifteen?

Maddi: See you there.

I change into some shorts, since it was pretty hot today, and a quarter-sleeved black shirt. I threw my hair into a messy bun and didn't bother with makeup, just rolled some chapstick on my lips. I slipped my phone in my back pocket and grabbed my wallet, heading down the stairs and out the door.

I wave at Mrs. Chesney, who was sitting on her porch reading, and glance towards Ryker's house. It was actually empty, which I hoped I didn't run into him in town again.

I walked my regular twenty-minute walk to town, stopping at the local diner and grabbing Joey and I some burgers and fries, plus a milkshake. I gave a friendly smile to the waitress as I grabbed my bag and drink carrier and headed down the square to the library.

I pushed open the doors and sat at a table near the back, setting the food down. A few minutes pass before the doors open, Joey coming through. She waves dramatically before rushing over to me.

I stand up at the right moment, Joey launching herself into my arms.

"Hey," I chuckle against her.

"I'm sorry I ran late," she sighs. "She-monster made it impossible to get here."

I let her go, sitting down in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"She's been super hard on me, since daddy's running for another campaign. She's, like, stressing the fact of being a 'perfect family', even though she's not apart of it." Joey opens her bag, fishes out a fry and plops it in her mouth. "I mean, she can fool the entire state, but she's evil."

I snicker. "We know that. Soon, everyone else will, too."

"Yeah, well, the other day? We were shopping and I was looking at some cute bras, because my boobs are tiny and I need a little," she used her hands to push them up. "Something to help keep these puppies up there. And she told me I'd better get used to wearing things like those, my career in prostitution isn't that far off."

My brows furrowed together. "And your dad?"

"Wasn't there." She rolled her eyes. "She's the perfect little wife in front of him. But behind his back, she doesn't hesitate to shank me, repeatedly."

"You know what? She's a demon." I shake my head. "You can do whatever you choose to do, Jo. Don't let people like her full your head with negativity."

She peels open her burger, taking a bite. "What if I wanted to get into vet med stuff, like you?"

I smile as I reach for my fries. "Is that what you really want?"

She shrugs. "You're doing it. Why not?"

I laugh lightly. "I'm doing it because it makes me happy, Joey." I sigh. "The good part about being so young is that you don't have to have your whole entire life figured out yet, even if people try to make you believe otherwise. You get to pick something, then change your mind. And change it again and again if you want. You don't need to have all the answers right now."

Joey eyes me thoughtfully. "You sounded just like mom right then. I swear that's something she would've told me."

I look down, the smile consuming my face. "Well, I'd wanna guide you as good as she would've."

She sets her food down. "I miss her."

I take a deep breath, reaching over and grabbing her hand. "I miss her, too."

She twists her lips before bringing her food back to her mouth.

"Oh. That guy Tommy asked me out."

I raise a brow as I sip my shake. "He did?"

She lets out a long breath. "Yeah. But I said no."

"Why?"

She snorts. "Yeah, and bring him around my psycho step-monster? No, thanks."

"You don't have to bring him around her, Joey. You guys can hang out other places. If he's real, he'll like you regardless. You deserve to be happy."

She narrows her eyes at me. "Oh yeah? What about you?"

I chuckle. "What about me?"

"You haven't even been on a date since that loser Marco. Don't you think it's time for you to be happy?"

I stare at her; Marco was a dude I'd met when I started getting serious about losing weight and started going to to the gym. He was a pretty fit guy, so the fact that he sought me out and wanted to go out with me kinda left me awestruck.

We went out a couple times, but on the third date, he seriously tried to pressure me and push me into having sex with him, and I just wasn't having it. He got mad, took me home, and that was the last time I saw him.

"I'm happy now." I shrug.

She lets out a sarcastic chuckle. "Yeah, right. You're a twenty-three year old virgin who doesn't drive and lives at home."

I gasp. "There's nothing with me being a virgin, not driving, or living at home."

She laughs. "I'm just saying. You need to get out there, Maddi. Let your guard down just a little bit and stop running people off."

"I don't do that."

She gives me an unamused look. "Yes you do. I'm not stupid." She shakes her head. "It's almost like you're punishing yourself for something. I'm not sure what, because you even keep me at arms distance. I just...I just want you to be happy again, Mads. I haven't seen you happy since..." her voice trails off.

I can't even bring myself to argue—she's right. I do keep her at arms length, and she's my sister. I barely let Karmiah know me, Ali, anyone. After my mom died, I hadn't really wanted to let anyone in again, especially once my dad shut me out and Joey got taken away from me. I just felt...alone.

Then I did try to find something there with Marco and he just was the complete opposite of what I expected. A perfect gentlemen for the first couple dates and then he just completely changed—the mask uncovered.

I didn't ever wanna risk it again.

"I am happy, Joey." I decide to stick to the truth. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me right now."

She gives me a sad smile. "I just wish you'd give someone a chance."

I roll my eyes. "Give Tommy a chance and I'll think about it."

She blushes, but smiles. "I'll give Tommy a chance. Maybe."

I chuckle. "You're impossible."

"Never claimed to be anything but." She winked.

As we finished our food, Joey filled me in on Tommy; he was an upcoming junior, just like her. They hung out a lot because he plays baseball and she plays softball. He has short blonde hair and, according to her, the most gorgeous blue eyes. But what made me happy was how kind he seemed to treat her, even when they were friends. He was always listening to her problems, always offering her rides. He was just a good person to her, and she admired that about him.

I encouraged her, told her that he seemed like a genuine and sweet kid. She flushed, telling me to shut up and find my own boyfriend to gush over. I laughed at that, making me shake my head at her.

Once Joey's step-monster told her she was on her way, I could feel the mood change. I didn't want her to go, but she had to maintain appearances.

I hug her tight. "I love you, Joey."

She sighs. "I love you, too." She pulls back, giving me a smile. "See you soon?"

"See you soon," I confirm with a nod.

Joey grabbed her backpack, slung it over her shoulder and walked to the door. She stopped, gave me a wave and then pushed the door open, heading outside.

I cleaned up the trash from where we were sitting, trying not to create any unnecessary attention on me. I slip my phone in my pocket and grab my wallet, the trash in my other hand, and made my way out of the building. I tossed the trash in the trash bin outside of the library and sighed.

I really needed the interaction with my sister, so I'm glad I was able to see her before my shift started. But now that I did see her, I didn't wanna do anything else. I just wanted to lie in bed and think about everything she had told me—from her evil stepmothers cruel words, to her gushing about Tommy, to her harsh reality check.

I didn't think she'd notice me keeping her at a distance, but it was for her good. She couldn't know what a mess my dad had become, how we live at home now that she's gone. She can't know how stressed I am, pulling as many hours as I can to try and save up enough money to help him pay his bills, but also to save up for a decent apartment for us.

She was too young to have to deal with all of this. And I'd shield her from it as long as I could.

As I walked home, I had to come up with a way to apologize. I didn't want Joey to think I was being unkind or ungrateful towards her, but she wouldn't understand.

Maybe I could get her some concert tickets; Lord knows she's in love with Billie Eilish and Selena Gomez. She'd freak out. I'll have to look into it.

Walking into my development, I gave a polite wave to Barbra as I passed by her place. My phone vibrated, so I pulled it out of my pocket.

Ali: want me to pick you up??

Maddi: Sure, give me ten

I looked up from my phone when I heard a faint thump sound. I looked between me: my house and Ryker's. I was more on his side of the road, somehow, and closer to his house. None of the other neighbors were outside, from what I could see, but neither was Ryker.

I walked towards Ryker's fence line, looking over to Mrs. Pauline's side. She wasn't out. I looked around Ryker's garage, but I didn't see him. His car was now parked inside, but he wasn't there.

"Ryker?" I called.

I heard nothing. I turned on my heel to leave, but something stopped me.

Just be sure, Maddi.

I let out a frustrated breath at myself, turning back around. I walked down to where his gate latched, opening it. I poke my head in, but don't see anything.

But as I still, that's when I hear it—faint wheezing and gasping for breath.

I rush in and there was Ryker, lying half on his wooden porch steps, half trying to crawl. My eyes widened as I looked at him.

"Ryker?" I jumped around him to look at his face. "Ryker, h-how can I help?"

His chest was heaving up and down rapidly, gasping for air for dear life. The wheezing sound that was coming from his lungs terrified the hell out of me and frankly made me wanna run away.

"Ryker, should I call nine-one-one?" I panic.

His look was serious as he shook his head. He looked forward at something and I looked at where he was trying to get to, a black bag carelessly thrown by the sliding glass doors.

I'm on my feet and running for it in seconds. I grab it, unzip it and search through his clothes and towels he had in here, to find a yellow inhaler—I've seen it plenty of times on tv.

I grab it and crawl back over to Ryker, who looked like he was about to pass out.

"Ryker, don't you dare." I warn. "You're a prick, but you don't get to leave like this."

I grab ahold of the back of his neck, tilting up towards me. I shake the inhaler and pull the cap off with my teeth. I bring it to his mouth and pump, simultaneously as he inhales. Ryker's wheezing doesn't stop, but does start to fade.

"Another?" I make sure.

He nods, closing his eyes. I bring it back to his lips, pumping another puff into his mouth as he inhaled. He holds it for a number of seconds and then let's go, his breath fanning my neck.

Ryker's breathing slows, his wheezing stops, and he's taking normal, deep breaths. He's taking deep inhales through his nose, exhaling out of his lips. I watch him intently, almost afraid to move or speak.

When his eyes slowly met mine, that's when my heart leapt to my throat. His beautiful hazel eyes were soft, almost kind. They looked almost green with the sun shining on him. The bruises on his face were still healing, but not as prominent as before. And I noticed he'd put back in his lip ring, his plump lips on display.

I felt the intensity of our position when I looked down; Ryker's big hand was on my exposed thigh, his thumb lightly trailing up and down on my inner thigh. His other arm was practically wrapped around my waist and I was still holding onto his neck.

I jumped up, detangling us from one another. I shouldn't be here, in Ryker's backyard, entangled with him. No, that's insane.

So without even looking back, I ran—literally—away, trying to ignore the feelings that tried to surface from what just happened.

A/N

Oh, Maddison 🤦🏻‍♀️

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