Wow i love you guys but I also hate you guys. I should've known yall would choose the chapters with sexual content. Thanks for making me relive it. It's not like I cringed hard enough the first time around.

ALSO my other book (that was on hiatus), The Perfect Balance, is currently back and being updated on a more regular basis; so go check that out. Also, once I get covers from those that said they'd make them for me, I will publish my next book. If you're interested in submitting a cover, PM me :) 

Dominic's Perspective: Chapter 15

Sometimes I feel stuck inside my own mind. I glance at my phone and huff noisily, which draws Jack's attention. "What? Is Nova with Eli?" he wonders aloud. I sigh and shake my head.

"Kat," I correct, which gets a nod from him.

"You've been upset all week. What happened?" he asks, which earns a head shake from me. I can't tell him what happened. But I don't feel like lying. I actually don't even know what happened really. "Dude, you can tell me."

I open my mouth and sigh. "She called me over last week...to kiss her," I start, which earns a raised brow from Jack.

"And?" he replies.

"And it didn't happen or else I wouldn't be upset," I retort as if the answer is obvious.

"Well, what happened?" he continues to question me.

"I got there and as I was getting off the elevator, her roommate was walking into the room," I explain. "Nova said she had no idea she was there."

"So? What? Did she reschedule?" Jack questions.

"It wasn't a doctors appointment, Jack," I retort.

"Not a doctor's..." he trails before shrugging. "Did you ask her about it?"

"Yeah, we talked about it and it was all a joke," I explain. "She said she didn't mean it."

"Ouch," Jack frowns at me.

"Yeah, I know. Ouch," I reiterate. I stand up from my desk and sigh again. "Whatever. I'm going to go take a shower."

For the rest of the night, I huff and sigh occasionally as I switch between activities. I text my friends and check social media and then I watch television on my laptop. I stare at my phone, waiting for Nova to text me. I wish I didn't like her so much sometimes. The friendship would probably be a lot easier to deal with if I didn't. The guys say that I'm whipped and it's gotten to the point where I don't even argue against it anymore. I know I am.

I lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and think about how stupid I am for running to Nova last time. That was so out of character for her. Why would she want to kiss me? She's showed no signs of being attracted to me. What I should've done was brought a thermometer to check to see if she was sick. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I jump a foot into the air when my phone rings from beside me. Nova. I quickly answer and compose myself.

"How was your milkshake with Kat?" I prompt, hoping she asks to hang out tonight. I'm bored and am in dire need of someone to hang out with. And by someone, I mean her. Maybe she'll ask me to sleepover. Or maybe I'll just invite myself over. She never seems to mind.

"It was good," she explains. "We talked about a lot of stuff that I needed to get off my chest." I perk up a bit. Stuff she needs to get off of her chest? What's that supposed to mean?

"Stuff that you can't talk to me about?" I question.

"Precisely," she answers in short, which leaves me with more things to lay in bed thinking about at this time of night.

"I guess I can only wonder..." I mumble as I lock my eyes on the tile above me.

"Guess who keeps texting me?" she starts and I roll my eyes.

"Elias," I retort.

"He messaged me while I was in the shower," she replies. Just what I need to be thinking about- her in the shower.

"Be strong and ignore him," I insist, dismissing my intrusive thoughts.

"If he's the one that broke it off then I don't understand why he keeps trying to talk to me again," she complains. I want to tell her that I don't know and that he should get lost but decide to keep my hostilities to myself.

"You said it yourself; you're a good kisser," I tease. I wish I could experience it. "I must admit, the curiosity is killing me, Nova."

"You know, I can't help but be curious about you, too," she mumbles in a slightly nervous tone. I sit up in bed as the words travel through my phone. Did I hear her right?

"Come again?" I prompt. Please say what I think you said; please said what I think you said.

"I said," she stresses, "I can't help but be curious about your expansive skill set."

"I'm always willing to show you," I respond without skipping a beat. I listen to the pounding of my heart in my chest. I really shouldn't fall for this again but I can't help it. It's like being baited with a million dollars. One fake run-in wouldn't scare you off.

"Maybe you should come over and do that," she proposes and my brows rise on my face. I can feel my skin getting hot at the thought of kissing her. It's pathetic, really. I get riled up at the idea of literally pecking her lips with my own, no tongue included. What am I? 9? No, I'm whipped- that's what I am. And that's perfectly fine with me.

"Are you being serious?" I ask after a short silence. I really hope she's not going to play me again.

"I want you to show me," she says in a voice barely above a whisper. I feel my stomach tense as I find myself making up scenarios as to how this could go. All of them go way further than a kiss but I obviously don't expect that of her.

"Nova," I start.

"Dominic," she mimics me.

"Nova, are you serious right now or are you joking? Because I swear if you're joking again, I'm never going to talk to you after this," I falsely threaten. Of course I would talk to her again. I can never not talk to her. I'm kind of pathetic. She could literally shoot me with a gun in my stomach and I'd be waiting for her to visit me in my hospital bed.

"Dominic, I want you to come over and show me," she insists into the phone before the line cuts off. I hurriedly slide off the bed and grab a pair of jeans from my drawer. I nearly face plant onto the floor as I pull them on. I zip up my sweater and snag a pair of socks from my drawer.

I want you to come over and show me.

Oh, fuck. I don't even bother locking the door to the room, knowing I'd probably drop my keys five times if I tried. I jog down the stops, not patient enough to wait for the elevator. I hightail it to her apartment, texting her that I'm outside. I see a guy leaving the building so I jog over and grab the door. I practically assault the button to the elevator while I let her know that I'm now in the building. I'd run up the stairs if it wouldn't leave me in a sweaty, breathless state.

I really hope she's serious. Please don't be joking, Nova. I text her asking if she's really going to kiss me. As expected, she doesn't respond as I board the elevator. I press her floor and wait impatiently while gripping the bars behind me. A peck kiss will do at this point. I'm dying to do anything with this girl.

I reach her door and knock lightly. My lip is in my mouth and I'm chewing it nervously while bouncing from my heels to the balls of my feet. I listen to the sound of her lock clicking and the door opening. Nova appears with a nervous, almost fearful, look on her face. From the wideness of her eyes, I can tell that she didn't mean what she said. I heave a sigh and let myself in anyway. "So I'm going to assume you're joking," I acknowledge as I step out of my shoes.

She's silent as she closes the door behind me. I pull myself onto her bed and stretch out on my back. My hands move to my face and I exhale noisily. I can't even be mad at her, really. I just wish she'd stop leading me on like that. "Nova, next time can you just text me beforehand that you're joking?" I mutter. It's a reasonable enough request, right?

I stare at her ceiling as disappointment pools in my stomach. She joins me on her bed and I feel some satisfaction at the idea that we may at least cuddle. But I could've been kissing her right now... I shove that thought to the back of my mind and move over to make room for her. She hesitates in her position beside me so I risk a glance at her, watching in shock as she positions herself on my lap. I hoist myself up onto my elbows as I assess the way she's straddling me.

I give her a once over and desire coils in the pit of my stomach. I let my fingers lightly trace her legs and she shifts in my lap, fighting off a very violent shiver. I pull myself up more and look into her eyes, trying to see if she's doing this because she feels guilty or because she wants to. The last thing I want is for her to kiss me because she feels like she has to. I'm surprised to find a look of passion in her eyes. I let my hands run up her thighs before gripping her waist, which sends inappropriate thoughts racing through my mind. I try to purify them as I attempt conversation.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask. I assess her face a couple times and repress the urge to sigh in satisfaction. She's so beautiful. She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen and I can confidently say that. I can't help myself as I let my finger trace the front of her neck. I feel her breath catch in her throat as I return my gaze to her eyes, which are full of emotions that I can't exactly pinpoint.

"I'm positive," she says quietly as she moves around once more. I feel a grin makes it way onto my face as I stare at her longingly. Without thinking, I shift so that I'm on top of her and she's laying beneath me. She gasps loudly as she stare up at me. Maybe I should've let her be in control.

"If it gets to be too much, just let me know and I'll stop," I inform her and she offers me a quick nod. I press my lips against her collarbone in an attempt to build up her emotions like mine have been for the last year. I enjoy the feeling of her skin beneath my lips as I explore her body longingly. I've wanted to do this for such a long time and I want to remember every second of it. Her ragged breathing only eggs me on as her fingers curl around my shoulders tightly. I bite her neck and she lets out a quiet moan, which takes me by surprise. I've never heard her make that noise but I like it. A lot.

"Dominic," she gasps and I immediately check in. Her eyes are shut tight and she's chewing her lip. I return to her neck, which I continue to kiss and nip at. Her breathing only gets shakier and it makes my heart pound harder. I watch as her chest rises and falls heavily and she swallows nervously. I make my way up her jawline, leaving light kisses along it. She tosses her head back and I repress the urge to swear. Now I understand what people mean when they say that intimacy is better with someone you love.

"Oh..." she exhales in a voice barely above a whisper.

"How long have you been wanting to do this?" I question aloud between kisses to her jaw. With each one, her grip tightens on me. Her legs rise on either side of me, trapping me in, and I don't mind one bit.

"A long time," she exhales. "A really long time."

"Me too," I agree. I return to my position above her and her eyes flutter open slightly. She stares up at me with desire written across her face and I waste no time in kissing her. Her lips feel just like I expected them to. Soft. Plump. Small. She surprises me by kissing me hard and eager, but I match her pace. Her hands move from my shoulders; one travels down my back and grabs my shirt, tugging me closer to her. Her other hand tangles in my hair and I feel my heart thud harder and faster. Her legs loop around my waist and I tense up slightly. How far is she willing to take this? Because I'm already out of my element. I came over here expecting her to peck me on the lips and call it a day. Now here I am laying on top of her with her legs wrapped around me in a vice grip. I'm not at all dissatisfied. I'm just curious and I don't want to make her uncomfortable by taking things further than she wants.

I pull away from her and open my mouth to speak. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?" I ask her. She pushes me away and I immediately feel guilt. Too far, too far. I should've just let her lead like I intended. She surprises me yet again by tugging her shirt off and throwing it across her room. My wide eyes fall to her chest, which is decorated with a lacy bra. I take a minute to gather myself as I hesitantly reach out and trace the outline of her lingerie. "You don't know how badly I've wanted to do this."

"I think I do," she claims. "Take your shirt off." She doesn't have to tell me twice. I take it off and let it fall to the floor. She crawls on top of me and allows her mouth to explore my chest and stomach, which only makes the situation more intense. I watch as she moves lower down my abdomen, lightly biting my skin. It's a sight I never thought I'd see but it's one I deeply enjoy. Her hands dip into the waistband of my pants and I'm suddenly hit with a realization. She will most likely regret this. I did not come over here for sex. I came over here to kiss her.

"Nova..." I stop her through slightly clenched teeth.

"Yes," she replies as she leaves her fingers curled around the my jeans. I stare at her small hands and want nothing more than to let her continue doing what she's so focused on doing.

"Are you okay?" I ask. She stares at me and nods quickly, letting her tongue trace her lips. I don't want to stop. I don't want to stop. She won't want this. She's never wanted this before. Kissing me was out of character for her but this? This is an entirely different person. "Should we stop?"

"No," she insists. If I didn't care about her, I'd sit back and let this continue. But I don't want her to wake up in the morning wishing she hadn't done it. I don't want her to hate me and I definitely don't want her to hate herself.

"Are you sure?" I continue.

"Do you want to stop?" she asks and I decide to be honest. I shake my head and she tilts hers sideways.

"No, I just don't want you to regret anything-," I attempt to explain but she cuts me off.

"Trust me, I won't. I want this...so bad," she confesses and I feel my stomach jolt again. She's not helping the situation at all. She tugs at my pants and I have to clench my fists at my sides to refrain from telling her to keep going and not stop. Instead, I swallow and exhale quietly.

"Do you want it or do your hormones want it?" I press.

"Both," she answers.

"Then can we rain check?" I propose, knowing we probably won't. She will realize in the morning how she let her emotions get the best of her and she will feel like she ruined everything. I'm going to stop it now before she can hate herself for losing her virginity to me. "I want this. You know I want this, arguably more than you do. But I don't want you to regret it in the morning and then hate me, or worse- hate yourself."

"Okay," she says in defeat. She grudgingly releases my pants and shifts into a sitting position. Her head is in her hands as she sighs loudly. She moves further up the bed and lays down beside me in a sloth-like motion. I keep my eyes on her, waiting for her to snap out of it and ask me why the hell I let this happen. I see her lip pucker out slightly between her hands and feel my chest tighten.

"This isn't rejection, Nova. I want to; I really, really do; I just don't want you to regret it," I reiterate. "It's not a decision I want you to make when you're already in the mood; it impairs your thought process. But if you do think about it and decide, in a clear state of mind, that I'm the one you want to give your virginity to, or do anything with, I'm literally a phone call away."

"Dominic," she snaps from behind her hands.

"Yes?" I reply.

"Stop talking," she grunts. I lay beside her and stare at the ceiling as she rubs her head. It takes me a second to realize that she's trying to fight through blue balls. I riled her up and left her hanging and she's trying to figure out how to get over it. A giggle slips out, followed by another. "What?"

"On a scale of periwinkle to navy, how blue are your balls right now?" I tease her. If I had to answer that question, I'd say they're so blue that they're black.

"I literally hate you," she hisses as her faces goes red.

"Which is why I stopped you from making a dumb decision," I explains as I sit up. "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

I shove my hands in my pockets as I leave the room and walk downstairs to the guys bathroom. I return a handful of minutes later feeling significantly better, only to find her laying in the same spot, chest still rising and falling heavily. Her shirt is still strewn out on the floor and her chest is barely contained by her bra.

"Do you want me to turn off the light?" I ask as I hover by the door. Would it be rude of me to ask her to put her shirt on?

"Sure," she replies without looking at me. I hesitate a little longer and she sits up and sets her eyes on me. My gaze drops to her chest before I look away.

"Are you going to put your shirt back on or..?" I lead.

"Nope," she replies with a smirk. I can tell she's doing this on purpose because of my bathroom trip. I sigh, figuring it's only fair, and turn off the light. I crawl into bed beside her and she speaks into the darkness. "Are you up to cuddling?"

As much as I want to say no to avoid any awkward groping that may occur, I can't help myself. "Yeah," I agree. She rolls over so that she's facing me and presses herself against me. I feel her lacey bra touching my chest and I find myself falling back into my previous state. My arms lightly drape over her sides and land on the small of her back, which is soft and warm. I fight the urge to flip on top of her and start everything up again. "You really can't put on a shirt? I'll go get one from your closet if you don't feel like moving."

"I usually sleep without a bra," she whispers into the darkness and I feel my emotions pooling once more. Gee, thanks, Nova. It's not like me being turned on is noticeable or anything as opposed to your hidden bodily functions.

"I wish I'd have at least taken it off you," I mutter.

She inches closer to my ear and her lips lightly brushes against my face, which makes my mouth water. "And just so you know, I'm capable of making a sound decision even when I'm in the mood. I had the chance to sleep with Eli but I didn't want to, remember?"

"Nova," I groan as she retracts to her previous position. I shift away from her to avoid making her uncomfortable.

"Goodnight, Dominic," she whispers as she leaves a light kiss on my collarbone.

+++

I wake up the next morning to an empty bed. I hear shuffling not too far away so I open my eyes and look around. I'm in Nova's room...and my shirt is off...and I see hers on the floor in front of the door. I attempt to peek around the closet to find her but she walks into my line of vision a few seconds later. I grin widely at her when I see the blush across her face. "Regret not putting on a shirt last night, huh?"

"Shut up," she mutters quietly. "Get up, I'm hungry." I fight the urge to make a comment and instead groan noisily and pull myself from her bed. I put on my sweater and attempt to shove my shoes on without using anything to help me balance. I eventually give up, grip Nova's shoulder for support, and manage to get them on.

"I'm going to go get dressed. Text me when you're ready," I inform her while staring at her. She gazes up at me with her big eyes and her small pout. I want to kiss her again. Over and over and over and over and over again.

"Okay," she agrees as she turns her gaze to her closet. I grip the doorknob and stare at her, wondering how someone could look so effortlessly beautiful. A grin finds its way to her face as she feels me staring. She returns her attention to me and tilts her head, tangling her long lashes with dramatic blinks. "What?" The playful exasperation in her voice makes my smile wider.

"Nothing," I dismiss as I pull open the door.

I return to my dorm with a big grin. Thankfully, Jack knew better than to lock the door. As expected, he is passed out asleep. I grab my caddy and head to the bathroom to freshen up. I dance around the all white room, smirking to myself in the mirror. I don't care what the guys say. I kissed her and it was good. I don't care if she used me for a night to get rid of some sexual frustration. It was amazing. The only thing that'd make it better was if I could tell the guys.

I get dressed and call to see if she's ready but there's no answer. I call once again only to reach her voicemail. Did the realization of what happened last night hit her? Is she in her dorm freaking out about what happened? Should I go over there and check or should I wait for her to reach out to me?

It takes twenty minutes for her to call me back. Like the whipped boy I am, I answer immediately. I don't worry about being quiet. Jack's the heaviest sleeper I know. "I thought you blocked my number or something," I confess.

"Sorry I just got out of the shower," she explains and I shove my dirty thoughts to the back of my mind. Feeling a little hopeful, I attempt to Facetime her. She declines so I call her again, which she answers with jubilant laughter.

"Do you want to eat at the dining hall?" I propose. Would it be weird of me to offer to buy her breakfast? 'Thank you for giving me the best sexual encounter of my life last night. Allow me to purchase you a celebratory meal.' "Or do you want to go out for breakfast?"

"Can we go to the diner?" she pleads.

"Yes," I agree. "Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah, you can head out now," she insists so I do. I reach her building and text her as I park. It takes a few seconds for her to get downstairs. She emerges from her dorm and walks across the path in an upbeat strut. I admire the sway of her hips and recall the feeling of my hands gripping them.

"What's got you so happy?" she asks as she buckles her seatbelt. I inhale deeply as I pull onto the road to head to the diner.

I offer up a shrug and thrum my fingers along the steering wheel. "I don't know," I lie. "I'm just happy, I guess."

"Okay, well I'm happy that you're happy," she concludes, which only makes me smile harder.

The rest of the car ride is silent as I replay the events of last night over and over in my mind. I commit the feel of her lips and hands and the texture of her skin to memory. I wonder if she remembers it like I do or if it's just another bland experience. We don't talk much until we're in the diner waiting for our food. She gets a notification and is pulled away from conversation. She rolls her eyes and I have a feeling I know who it is.

"Eli," she confirms with a careless head shake.

"Are you going to text him back?" I ponder curiously and she shakes her head. "What's he saying?"

"Basically that he wants to talk," she explains "I'm starting to feel bad for him."

I narrow my eyes at her. Guilt can lead to forgiveness. "You're going to cave, aren't you?" I ask.

"No," she retorts. I continue to stare at her until she shakes her head even harder. "No, Dominic, I'm not."

"Good. I don't like that boy," I conclude. "He hurt you even though you don't want to admit it."

She exhales dramatically before nodding. "Okay, Dominic." I like the way she says my name when she's annoyed. The emphasis she puts on each letter makes me wonder what she's thinking. I like watching her lips move when she says it, too. It's definitely my second favorite noise of hers- the first being the way she moans my name.

"I'm serious, Nova. If you forgive him and reach out again, he's just going to weasel his way back into your life and then back into your pants," I continue to warn her.

"He was never in my pants to begin with," she retorts.

"His hand was," I correct and she scoffs in response to that.

"Dominic, I'm not going to text him," she resigns.

"Okay, remember you said that when it's midnight and you're looking for someone to keep you company..." I trail. Call me. Call me. Call me.

"You know, I'm not some hormonal mess. I can control myself," she reminds me.

"I know you can," I agree. "I'm just saying that sometimes you have an itch that you want scratched and the most familiar person is the go to." Call me. I am your personal back scratcher.

Our food is brought to the table and she snags her plate of french toast. She takes a large bite and I watch as she chews, wondering when it'd be a good time to bring up the events of last night. "What?" she asks as she glances up at me. Do I really stare that hard?

"Are we going to talk about it?" I decide to ask. Now's as good a time as any. She blinks rapidly as she thinks of something to say.

"About?" she continues and I can tell she's trying to avoid the conversation.

"Last night," I answer, trying to wave it off as a casual occurrence.

"Right, last night..." she mumbles as she takes her time chewing her food. I nod at her, watching as she washes it down with juice. "I don't really know what to say. You're always curious. Am I not allowed to be?"

Maybe I'm an idiot for thinking she'd confess to having feelings for me. That's asking too much; even I know that. I stare at her for a few seconds before looking down at my untouched meal. "Fair enough," I agree. I think of another question that may get a better answer from her. "How often is that going to happen?"

"Huh?" she gapes at me.

"Last night- how often is that going to happen? Was it a one time thing or do you intend on doing it some other time?" I inquire. She imitates a goldfish for a second by the way her mouth forms circles. I notice how lost she looks and decide to let her off easy. It'll leave her thinking at least. With a grin, I intervene. "I won't make you answer. You have my number if you need it...for anything."

She watches me trace my bottom lip with my tongue before swallowing nervously. Her attention goes back to her food and I watch her, wondering what it'd be like to be in a relationship with her. That is a lucky position to have.