"How'd you do?" Eli asks me as I get in the car after my first midterm of the week.

"I think I did okay. How was your anthropology test?" I hurriedly kiss him on the cheek before buckling my seatbelt.

"It went well, honestly. I think I did good," he admits. "We studied a lot last night."

Speaking of last night, I slept at his apartment. We didn't do anything other than study until two in the morning. He had taken the same history class his first semester and still had his notes. He's a much better note taker than I am. We sat on the carpet in his room just studying until it was time to sleep. I didn't even risk kissing him before bed. I brushed my teeth, laid down, and pretended to be asleep when he got back from the bathroom. We cuddled while we slept but that was the most intimate thing that happened.

I've been trying to take Dominic's advice of not being amorous with him for two weeks but it's so difficult. When we aren't on top of each other, we don't do much. Last night was the most I've heard him speak and it was only because he was reading his notes over and over again. I think I make him nervous, which is frustrating because it's keeping me from getting to know him. And if I don't know him, how am I going to know if I like him or not? We have great conversations over text but I think I jumped the gun when I kissed him that first date. He seemed so surprised and even though he liked it, it was too soon.

I'm trying my best to build with him. He's a nice guy and there's no reason for me to not like him. It's just that something in me isn't clicking. He's nice. He's funny. He's cute. He's smart. And I don't think it has anything to do with my secret admiration for Dominic, because people can definitely love two people at once. I mean, look at Bella, Edward, and Jacob. Of course someone won in the end, but it's definitely possible. But, as bad as this sounds, I can't help but look at him and see him as nothing more than a guy I like to hook up with. I feel guilty because that's exactly what we said we don't want so I have to at least try to see if this will work out.

"What exam do you have tomorrow?"  I furrow my eyebrows and exhale as I try to recall my exam schedule. I suddenly remember because Dominic and I made plans to get breakfast beforehand.

"Introduction to Comparative Politics," I answer.

"I can't help you there. I steer clear of anything political.". I repress the urge to cringe. I wish I could afford not to pay attention to politics but as a minority, I don't have that luxury.

I decide to change the topic. "What test do you have?"

"Biology." I wrinkle my nose. "Do you want to study again tonight?"

"I would but I'm studying with Dominic. We have the same test tomorrow," I explain and he nods.

"Do you want me to drop you off at the library then? Or...his dorm?" he hesitates for a second and I shake my head, deciding not to clue him in as to where I'll be studying- not that it matters much.

"No, I have to pick up my books from my dorm anyway," I answer and he bobs his head again. He slows to a stop outside of my building and I hastily unbuckle my seatbelt. In an attempt to dodge any serious affection, I quickly peck his cheek and reach for the door handle. This, however, isn't a part of his plan because he grabs my other hand and stops me. He pulls me in and rests his finger under my chin, engaging me in a slow, passionate kiss. I pull away, feeling slightly dazed as I offer up a nervous smile. I mumble incoherently as I get out of the car, barely sticking the landing. As I approach my dorm building, I sigh noisily. It hasn't even been three days and I've already messed up.

+++

"Well, well, well, look who decided to show up," Dominic says as I waltz into the Montgomery lounge twenty minutes late.

"Better late than never." I drop my book bag on the couch beside him. "Before we get started, I need you to know that I messed up already but it wasn't my fault."

"What?" He stares at me in slight confusion.

"The two weeks without touching him," I recall in an attempt to jog his memory. He nods as an encouragement for me to explain. "I decided to start now but I already messed up."

"What happened?" he questions, extending his leg to kick the chair across from him out. I drop into the seat and put my head down.

I decide to start from the beginning. "Okay, so last night, we were studying in his apartment and he asked me to sleepover-"

"Did you sleep with him?!" Dominic interrupts before I can finish my story. I look at him and see yet another confusing concoction of emotions written on his face.

"No!" I quickly deny. "I did not sleep with him. Can I finish?"

"Yeah, sorry, I just got a little worried. Go on." I don't even entertain any of my curious thoughts about why he was worried.

"Okay, so I slept over at his house and we didn't even kiss. I was a good girl and I dodged all of his advances. But then today, he drops me off and picks me up from my exam and I kiss his cheek and try to rush out of the car but he pulls me back and kisses me. So does that count?"

"Well it'd be a bit problematic if you didn't touch him at all. He'll start to think you don't like him. What I meant was that you shouldn't only plan to hang out with him just so you can mess around."

I slump in my seat, putting my head on my arms. "But Dominic..."

"I swear if you tell me that you can't go without it, I'm going to escort you to solitary confinement so you have no other choice. If I can go without it, you can definitely do it."

"It's different. You've had your fair share. It's like if there was a cake. You've had more than half of it so you're full. I've only had a bite and I want more," I attempt to explain. His eyebrows crawl up his forehead as he analyzes me with a slow shake of his head.

"Some of the things you say make me think about things that I shouldn't be thinking about," he mumbles in a low voice that sends goosebumps down my spine. All I can do is stare, which gets a kick out of him.

I quickly exit the trance his words put me in and dramatically blink. "I don't know why we're friends," I decide to retort, which earns a pleasant grin from him. He can tell his words tripped me up; I just don't know why it satisfied him as much as it did.

I signify the conversation has come to an end by retrieving and opening my laptop. We work for a few hours before it's time for me to head back to my dorm. Because he's a gentleman, Dominic insists on walking with me. He even offers to carry my backpack. I agree and let him, ambling tiredly beside him.

"You know..." he starts and I turn to look up at him. I sometimes forget how tall he is, especially when we're sitting down for extended periods of time and he falls into a casual slouch. I'm only 5'4" and he's a whopping 6'0". "I kinda miss you."

"Huh?" I blurt in confusion. My thoughts were elsewhere and I was not expecting him to say that. I was expecting something about Eli or something overly flirtatious for an interaction between friends.

"I know I'm still around you a lot but you're not always here. It's weird. Before, I used to be able to hang out with you whenever and if we couldn't, then we'd text. But now that you're with Eli a lot, it's throwing me off a bit," he confesses. "It's definitely going to take some getting used to."

"If the tables were turned, you'd tease me so hard about saying that." I look up at him with a large grin.

"No I wouldn't," he starts to defend before he slowly shakes his head. "No, wait...I definitely would."

"Luckily, I'm not you. I appreciate that you miss me," I reply with a smile lining my lips.

"Maybe I should try to find someone to date to fill the time gaps," he jokes and I roll my eyes at him. My heart falters a little bit. I shouldn't be so comfortable with this dating limbo that he's in; it's just a matter of time before he jumps back into the lady pool head first and is surrounded by a multitude of girls.

"What kind of girls do you like?" I inquire. It's a safe enough question. I've always wondered but never wanted to bring it up. I was always scared he'd describe a girl that looks nothing like me and I'd be left having to come to terms with the truth.

"I don't have a type. Unless you mean to crush on. If we're talking about attraction, then yeah, all kinds of girls."

"What about a crush?" I clarify and he shrugs his shoulders slowly.

"I rarely have crushes. But I'm less of a look guy and more for personality. I can sleep with any girl but I can't have deep conversations with all of them. I like girls who are funny. Smart girls are also very attractive. When a girl knows what she wants and works to get it- that's really hot. This one is probably really unhealthy now that I'm saying it aloud but when girls are a little mean, but obviously not rude, but when they have an edge to them. Attitudes are cute because it makes you work for it, but if you're just miserable all the time, then that's irritating," he explains. "What about you? What's your type? You like white boys, right?"

I laugh at his comment. "I don't have a type in the looks department. It's more of a personality thing. Your looks change over time but your personality typically stays the same. I like it when guys care, and I don't mean the pretend to care to satisfy you but when they genuinely worry about you. Also, when a guy is funny and smart- that's really attractive. Nice guys are a plus, too, because I can be mean sometimes, and we need that balance."

"We all know you can be mean," he mutters and I nudge him in the side. "Have you ever had a crush on anyone at school? I mean, that I'd know?"

You. "No, I don't think so," I lie as I stare at my building in the distance. This conversation is getting interesting and we're reaching uncharted territory. I don't want it to end. Maybe if I slow down, he'll match my pace.

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"No..." Jeez, I'm not very good at this, huh?

"Yes you are," he replies. "I can tell when you're lying, Nova."

"Okay, fine." Who is someone he'd know? Who is someone he'd know?! "Did you know anyone on the basketball team?"

"Yeah, everyone."Shit, who do I know from the basketball team?

"Alex Huntington." He was in my math class. I'm almost positive he was on the basketball team.

"Are you sure you don't have a thing for white boys?" he asks.

"You're an idiot," I say with a laugh as we reach my dorm building. I go to walk away but he pulls me back and into a hug. A few seconds pass and he doesn't let me go. I do my usual grunt that signifies it's been a little too long.

"I'm not letting you go until you hug me back," he explains his reasoning for keeping me in his vice grip. "I know you like my hugs. You told me when you were drunk. From that moment forth, I vowed to not accept anymore unreciprocated hugs from you."

I raise one hand and pat his back slowly and he makes a noise of disapproval. I raise the other hand and place them both on his hard back. "Can I go now?" I say, muffled by his chest.

"I'll take it for now. Next time, you're going to actually hug me back, okay?"

"Whatever," I say as my face starts to heat up. He slips my bag off his shoulders and hands it to me. My moist hands cause me to nearly drop it but he holds it up higher for me.

I turn and walk back to my dorm awkwardly. He calls out from behind me: "I forgot one thing. When girls blush, that's really cute!" I flip him off as I enter the building, shaking my head in embarrassment.

+++

My first midterm week was absolute hell. I was getting little to no sleep each night from all the studying I was doing, yet I barely retained any of the information I was taking in. Needless to say, I was more than grateful to load up Dominic's car to head back home for the much needed Thanksgiving break.

"So how'd your farewell with Eli go last night?" Dominic inquires with bouncing eyebrows as he lowers the music dial.

"He kissed me a couple times but I stayed strong and pulled away after a few seconds."

"And how difficult was that?" I shake my head as I gaze out the window.

"Damn near impossible," I joke back.

"You're like an addict," he replies, battling chuckles. "A make-out addict."

"I am not!" I retort, deciding to fire back at him. "If I'm a make-out addict, you're a-a..."

"A what?" he prompts as he leans forward a bit in anticipation. When he senses my hesitation, he turns to me with a large grin on his face. "Say it, Nova. I'm a what addict?"

"I'm done talking about this." I reach forward and turn the music all the way up. I'm surprised the shift doesn't blow his speakers.

He quickly turns it down. "For your information, I've not slept with anyone in 9 weeks. Therefore, that proves your accusation wrong."

"If I'm so wrong, why are you keeping count? '9 weeks clean of sleeping with people. I'm breaking inside as each day passes,'" I mock him in a slightly deeper voice. "If you weren't addicted, you wouldn't even keep track of how long it's been."

He narrows his eyes at me but turns up the music. I smirk at him. Haha, I won.

+++

I've never been a fan of Thanksgiving, for the fictitious story fed to us as children but also, for celebratory purposes. I don't like a lot of the foods served. My family doesn't go all out for it but we do something so my mother has photos to post on Facebook. As soon as I get home, I'm rushed into the holiday. My mom forces me go shopping with her even though my perfectly good 16 year old sister is more than capable. It's not like I just arrived home with a bunch of things to bring upstairs.

"Run to the store with me," my mom insists as she grabs her keys. I sigh and drop my bags on the living room floor. Dominic is returning to his car from helping me bring my bags to the porch when my mom spots him.

"Dom!" I sigh as she over-dramatically opens her arms for a hug. He accepts it graciously and greets my mother.

"Hey, Mrs. Camacho, how are you?" He's more happy than I am to see my mother.

"I'm fine. How are you, hun?" I didn't get a greeting like this but okay, mom.

"I'm okay, actually," he admits.

"College looks good on you. You've been eating all right?" I want to groan aloud. Please don't invite him to dinner tonight. I love my family and I love Dominic but I really don't need my dad to interrogate him about whether or not I'm dating boys back at school. I also don't need my sister awkwardly flirting with him and I definitely don't need my mom telling him weird, personal things that I did as a kid.

"I have. The food is good," he replies with a smile before adding, "nothing like your home-cooking but it's alright." My mom giggles and nudges him before motioning to me.

"Have you been keeping an eye out for my daughter?" Oh yes mom, it's his job to watch out for me.

"Not just one eye, but both," he assures her and my mom laughs in response.

"Keep the boys away from her." They're definitely flocking mom. He's almost died in battle fighting the hordes of guys trying to talk to me.

"I never let a boy within five feet of her," Dominic continues to cater to my mom.

"Thank you, Dom." My mom laughs because obviously Dominic is hilarious. "I'll let you get back to your momma. I know she misses you. I hope to see you around here sometime this week."

"If Nova invites me," Dominic comments with a glance at me. He slowly approaches his car.

"You don't need her invite. Just show up. Our doors always open to you, honey," she informs him and he grins widely. He thanks her as he gets into his car.

My mother and I pile into the minivan, watching in the mirrors as Dominic pulls off. I snort when I see both of his hands on the wheel. He definitely does not drive like that. "He's such a good boy," my mom sighs as she starts the car.

"Yeah, he is." Another lie.

"So tell me..." she starts a conversation, "have you met any boys at that school of yours? You can tell me. I won't tell your father."

This is definitely a change. My mother was very much against me dating in high school. Now she's trying to have secret conversations with me about it? This is suspicious. "No. The school work is rough so I don't have time to really talk to boys- or anyone for that matter."

"You've always been that way." She drives us in the direction of our local Target. "Your sister doesn't listen; we tell her not to date but we know she hangs out with boys. We don't know how to handle it because you were never like that."

"I don't know either," I reply awkwardly. I'm not going to tell them how to punish or 'fix' my sister.

"You're sure you can't date Dom? He's such a good boy," my mom coos, which gets a long eye roll from me. First of all mom, he is not a good boy. He is the boy you've warned me about when I was growing up.

"Mom, he's my best friend. I don't like him," I blatantly lie and she sighs sadly.

"Maybe one of his friends?" I shoot her a look.

"Mom," I press.

"I get it, I get it," she exhales. "But will you at least keep me updated if anything happens?"

"Mom," I say firmly. This earns a boisterous laugh from her, which gets a faint smile out of me.

As usual, we take over an hour in Target. Apparently, we came for a Thanksgiving themed table set but we left with a tub of ice cream, shaving cream, lotion, some fuzzy socks, and the anticipated table set. And because the store was packed, we had to wait in a ten minute line. With the time it took to be cashed out and then the drive back home, the ice cream had turned into a milkshake.

I head inside with the bags and my sister confronts me. "Did I see Dominic earlier or were my eyes deceiving me?" she asks.

"Yeah, how do you think I got back?" I put the ice cream in the freezer.

"I can't believe it but he's even better looking now," she says and I narrow my eyes at her.

"I don't know why you still like him. He's almost 19. It's illegal, Mar," I remind her yet again.

"You guys will still be friends in two years. Then it won't be illegal." I want to scream. We've had this conversation over and over again for the last three years.

"He's not going to date you." I hope this time it'll go through her head.

"Who said date? I just want to sleep with him and maybe-," my sister starts to divulge and I clench the fuzzy socks in my hand.

"Maritza!" I hiss. "He does not like you! He will never like you! You are a baby! He is never going to do anything with you!"

She glares at me from her place across the counter. She stands up and crosses her arms with a sour look on her face. "You've been back for twenty minutes and you're already being a bitch," she snaps. I ignore her and continue unpacking the bags. Maybe it was a little harsh but it's weird. I don't want to think about my sister sleeping with the guy I have a crush on. It's gross and weird.

Dominic irritates me too because he laughs whenever I tell him about her crush. He's too nice to her and she misinterprets it. She basically fell in love with him the first time he dropped her off at home after school. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and was no longer getting rides home from him. I was going to let her wait for my mom in the parking lot but Dominic insisted on giving her a ride, too. I was resisting because I knew my sister and I knew she found him attractive. After he called me a bad sibling, I agreed to let her in the car with us. I told him not to talk to her but he's so polite that he couldn't help it. He asked her how her first year of high school was going and she was a goner. Since then, she's never shut up about how nice he is.

"Are you in here being mean to your sister?" my mom scolds as she barges into the kitchen. I turn to put away the plastic bags and roll my eyes as I bend down.

"She only ever talks to me when it's about Dominic. It's irritating," I defend myself.

"So what? She has a little crush on him!" my mom says. She wasn't saying that this summer when he would come over and Maritza would throw herself at him by asking 'how young is too young?' My mom happened to overhear that little comment and Maritza was grounded for two weeks for trying to be grown.

"Mom..." I exhale as I put my hands on the counter.

"She's grown up a lot since you've been gone. She's more independent now. A lot of things have happened to her in these last few months and the only thing that's still mutual between you two is Dominic, so please cut her some slack," my mom scolds me.

"Okay," I say as I turn to the fridge. I roll my eyes as far back as they'll go before continuing to unload the bags. I even go as far as to mimic her silently, feeling frustration slowly fill my body.

I don't care what my mom says. It's still disgusting.