Another short chapter but vital to the plot. Also, I have not been home much lately so I have to edit the next couple of chapters to prepare them for updates.

"So you're asking me for advice about the boy you rejected me for?" Eli asks as we sit across from each other in the dining hall. I grimace slightly and immediately feel stupid. I shouldn't have brought it up no matter how much he insisted I vent to him. "Alright, I'll do my best. Shoot."

"Are you sure?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'm positive," he insists.

"Okay, uh..." I trail, unsure of where to start. I try to shake off the feeling that I'm being an asshole. "You know I like him. But I, uh.."

"You uh?" he prompts and I feel my face redden.

"I slept with him," I blurt.

"I knew it," he laughs.

"And I love him," I tell Eli, whose eyebrows rise on his forehead.

"I did not know that," he mutters.

"And now we're friends with benefits," I respond, which earns a slow nod in response.

"Somehow, I feel like that's not the best idea," he replies.

"I want to tell him I like him but I don't want him to think I caught feelings for him after sex," I explain my problem.

"Then maybe just say that you liked him before," he suggests with a shrug.

"And what if he rejects me?" I ask nervously.

"You guys have a really weird relationship. You guys are best friends but I'm almost positive that both of you are secretly in love with each other," he complains. I gape at him in shock and he offers me a helpless shrug. "What? You can't tell me that you don't have the slightest inkling that he just may have some feelings for you."

I scramble over my words as I try to explain my trepidation. "Kind of...but what if it's just misinterpretation?" I respond.

"It's not," he retorts with a wave of his hand. "Just tell him and get it over with."

I narrow my eyes at him dismissively. "You're no help," I conclude, which gets a frustrated and confused look from him.

"What do you want me to say?" he retorts.

"I want you to prepare me for rejection!" I clarify. "Everyone is so confident that he likes me and that we'll get married. What if that's not how it goes?"

"You say that because you don't see the way he looks at you," Eli retorts. "As a guy, I pride myself in being able to determine when a guy likes a girl. The way he treats her, the way he treats the competition, the way he carries himself around her- those are all things you notice."

"Okay and?" I reply with crossed arms.

"I can just tell, Nova," he says with a sigh. "Trust me."

"Guys intuition isn't always right," I snap. "Dominic said that the only reason you started texting me again was because you wanted to sleep with me." Eli stares at me for a second with a blank expression on his face. My mouth drops into an 'O' when he purses his lips thoughtfully. "Elias!"

"That wasn't the only reason, okay?" he assures me defensively. "Okay, yes, I thought about it and yes it heavily determined my decision. But I do like being friends with you. I just reconsidered the whole friends with benefits thing and figured I could work with that now if you were still up for it."

"I thought you were different," I dramatically complain.

"I'm a changed man now," he insists.

"So you don't want to sleep with me anymore?" I question.

He narrows his eyes at me. "No..?" he replies, as if gauging my desired response. "I can't tell if you'll get offended if I say yes."

I give him a short glare. "Friends, Eli," I press.

"Oh, I know. Friends, friendship, buddies, pals- all that jazz, I know. You don't have to worry about that," he assures me. I give him a threatening look and he crosses his heart. "I promise."

+++

I go about my decision making process on my own seeing as everyone else has a warped view of my friendship with Dominic in their head. As I predicted, this past week has been an emotional roller-coaster. I'd start every day telling myself that maybe I'll hint that I like him and see what he does. Obviously, it doesn't happen. But every single day this week, I hooked up with him at least twice a day. They were quick experiences but some of the more passionate ones we've had thus far. I guess we've both had a lot of pent up frustration from the last month or so. We just can't seem to keep our hands off each other.

And yes, each time we did anything, I would have to bite my tongue as to not confess my undying love for him. I've come to the conclusion (alone of course) that I'm going to start out by confessing to having a crush on him and seeing where that gets us. It's common sense, obviously. The last thing I'd want to do is overwhelm him with the 'L' word.

He invites me over to his dorm the minute Jack leaves and I practically sprint there. I may be an emotional wreck but I still have wants and needs. He lets me into the building and we walk to his room, where I climb on the bed and wait for him. Every day this week, we've had to work fast. Our hookups would happen in short bursts when we knew Jack or my roommate had class. He joins me on the bed with his...laptop?

"I watched the coolest movie yesterday and I wanted to show you," he explains as he drops the device onto my lap as he gets comfortable under the blanket. Okay, friendship mode activated.

I decide not to say anything and instead, sit and enjoy the film with him. For the first half hour, I'm expecting him to make a move on me. He does not. Instead, he makes little comments about the movie and checks every few minutes to see if I'm enjoying it. Admittedly, it's a good film. Once the end credits roll on the screen, he nods in admiration.

"Did you like it?" he asks as he closes his laptop and puts it on his dresser.

"Yeah it was interesting," I tell him honestly as he lays down beside me. He turns on his side, ready to discuss it with me.

"Are you okay?" he blurts when he notices the small frown on my lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I respond with a dismissive head shake. In actuality, I'm stressing about when would be a good time to tell him that I like him.

"You seem tense," he notes.

"Nothing I'm not used to," I reply and he lightly touches my hip beneath the blanket.

"Do you need a distraction?" he asks suggestively and I feel my heart start to race.

"That would be nice," I mumble.

He inches closer and lightly touches his lips to my neck. I close my eyes and bask in the pleasure of his mouth while he flips on top of me. He makes his way down my chest, lightly tugging at my shirt, which I quickly peel off and let drop to the floor. His head disappears beneath the blanket and I tangle my fingers in his hair. I relax even more as he leaves light kisses on my stomach and he works his way back up. His lips are on my neck and his hands are exploring my body, building my anticipation for what's to come.

I breathe heavily and shut my eyes. I try to take his advice and relax, which is much easier now than it was before. My chest raises higher and lower as I open my mouth to say his name. Except I'm so relaxed that I say the only thing in my mind. "I love you," I announce clearly into the completely silent room. His mouth stops moving against my neck and his hands drop to his sides as he pulls back a few inches. My face is red and embarrassment seeps through me like sweat. 

"What?" he exhales as his eyes search mine. The blend of emotions written across his face doesn't sit well in my stomach and I suddenly feel the need to leave. We stare at each other for a couple of seconds before the wriggling doorknob interrupts us.

"Dominic! I forgot my key!" Jack's voice yells as he knocks on the door. I'm sliding off the bed before Dominic can even process the situation enough to react.

"Nova, wait," he insists right as I'm tugging on my shirt. He's stumbling off the bed trying to get my attention but I set my focus on getting the hell out of here. I can't believe I just said that.

"I have to go," I blurt as I force my feet into my shoes, nearly falling over as I do.

"Nova, please, can we talk?" he asks as he runs a hand through his hair. I can tell by the way he's acting that this conversation won't go the way I'd been hoping it would for the last few months.

Instead of responding, I tug open the door for Jack, who has yet to stop knocking. "Whoa," his knocking hand nearly collides with my shoulder, "hey Nova."

I don't even respond to him as I all but run down the hall. "Does she hate me or something?" I hear Jack ask as I shove open the door to the outside.

I'm panting heavily once I reach my dorm, partially from all the running but also from the panic. I stretch out on my bed and attempt to regulate my laborious breathing. Anxiously, I close my eyes and press my palms against them, listening to my ragged breaths. In an attempt to calm myself down, I think of positive things but my mind only wanders to the look on his eye when he heard me say the words. It was one of pure fear. If I had done the mature thing and stayed to talk about it, I probably would've broken out in tears.

I grab my phone and scroll through my notifications. Most of them are from Dominic.

Dominic: Can we talk?

Dominic: Nova.

Dominic: Did you actually mean it?

Dominic: Or was it just pillow talk?

I quickly call my sister and pray she's not out at a party or something. She answers after a ring or two and immediately falls into conversation. "I told you not to talk to me until you told him about your feelings. So unless you did that, I have to redirect you to my voicem-."

"I told him I loved him," I inform her and she stutters for a second.

"You jumped right into things, huh? Well, what'd he say?" she asks.

"He said 'what?'" I answer shortly.

"Are you going to give me any context or do I have to piece it all together?" she retorts.

I hesitate. How can I phrase what we were doing when I said it without cluing her in to my sex life? "We were...doing stuff. I slipped up and said it," I explain.

"Really?" she asks in a slight cringe.

"Yeah and he stopped, asked 'what?' and then we just stared at each other for the longest ten seconds of my life. And then Jack came to the door so I rushed to get dressed and he was asking me if we could talk about it. I ignored him and ran away," I finish.

"Nova, you should've stayed and talked it out!" she retorts.

"I would've cried!" I snap back. "He looked so...scared."

"Did he text you or anything?" she asks, sounding a bit sad now.

"Yeah, he asked if I meant it or if it was just pillow talk. At this point, I'm going to say that it was just pillow talk," I say in a resigned tone.

"He's going to see through it so you might as well 'fess up," she encourages. "You wouldn't have reacted the way you had if it was just pillow talk."

"I know," I sigh. "But you didn't see the look on his face. It gave me all the answer I need. He didn't look happy or curious. It was just fear, Mari."

As soon as I say, "let's see how long I can avoid this," my sister says "you should just go talk to him."

"Nova," she says firmly and I sigh.

"Now I'm really scared," I admit.

"The worst thing he can say is that he doesn't feel the same way," she responds. "And then you guys stop being friends with benefits. Either way, you won't be stuck in limbo anymore."

"He's calling," I tell her as I look at my screen.

"Are you going to answer?" she inquires and I sigh.

"Yeah, I'll text you," I respond before hanging up and answering his call.

"Hello?" he says urgently.

"Hi," I reply quietly. I should probably have this conversation with him in person but I don't trust myself not to cry.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," I assure him in an attempt to sound casual.

"So did you mean it? You know, what you said?" he cuts to the chase and I close my eyes.

"Pillow talk," I answer. "It just spooked me a bit."

"Oh, okay," he responds in a casual tone. "I mean, I know I was doing good but I didn't think it was so good you'd fall in love with me."

I smile at the joke, grateful that there was no awkward silence or further inquisition. "Maybe if we'd have finished," I joke back.

"Yeah, Jack thought we got into an argument," Dominic explains. "He actually defended you and told me not to be such a jerk."

"You should still take his advice," I confess, which gets a laugh out of him.

"Are you up to watch another movie?" he questions before feeling the need to clarify: "and just a movie this time."

"I would but I'm already half asleep," I respond. In reality, I need to shower and take an hour or two to reevaluate my terrible decision making skills.

"How are you going to fall asleep without me?" he teases.

"I have the bear," I answer as I look at the large teddy laying in the corner of my bed. It got a few odd looks from my roommate but I don't care.

"Wow, I really should've returned him," Dominic grumbles quietly. We banter for a few more minutes before he starts to wrap up the conversation.

"I'll let you go to bed. You need the beauty sleep," he quips.

"Asshole," I mumble in response.

"I'm joking. You know I think you're beautiful," he replies, which gets a small smile out of me.

"I know," I tease.

"Go to bed. I love you," he says. As I'm about to tell him to shut up, he speaks again. "Does it make you uncomfortable when I say that?"

"No, you've said it for so long that I barely register it," I reply. In actuality, every time he says it my heart skips a beat.

"Okay, just checking," he responds. "Either way, it's not pillow talk." His voice is teasing and I roll my eyes with a large grin on my face.

"Shut up, Dominic," I say through a laugh.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," he assures me.

"Okay," I say and we hang up.

I stare at the ceiling and sigh. I wonder what would've happened had I told him that I meant it when I said 'I love you.' I blink a few times, remembering the look on his face. I turn on my side and exhale quickly. Yeah, definitely not happening anytime soon if I can help it.