"So...." I trail as I sit at Kat's computer desk. My eyes bounce between items in the room as I slowly spin in circles in her chair. Her side of the room is bright pink, as opposed to her roommate's muted gray color.

"So my verdict still stands," she insists as she watches me twirl in the chair.

"Are you sure?" I slow to a stop and quirk an eyebrow at her. She returns my look with a flat one.

"Why are we even having this conversation? Anyone with eyes can see that he likes you! I literally didn't even have to go to dinner with you guys the other night to tell." She shakes her head at me as if surprised that I can't see it.

"I wish you saw how he started acting before the whole anti-dating phase started. You'd be just as confused as me."

"Well, I'm not confused. He likes you. There isn't much else to say. No room for second thoughts." She seems convinced enough. Then again, she doesn't really know Dominic so her word isn't indefinitely true. He clearly flirts with me, but neither of us know how he flirts when he's trying to actually get with a girl. Maybe the way he treats me is just his default setting. Before I can even voice this concern, Kat exclaims in exasperation. "You're doing it again, huh?"

"What?" I feel myself growing a little concerned. Doing what?

"You're sitting there lying to yourself and excusing his actions! You're summing it up to Dominic just being Dominic right?" Yikes. How'd she know?

I furrow my eyebrows at her as I try to shake my head. "What? No..." It's obvious that I'm not the greatest liar.

"Look, I think he likes you. I'm good at detecting these things. The next thing you've got to do is let him know that you know." She says this as if it's a casual thing. What should I do? Put a note on his desk saying 'I know you like me' with a winky face and hope he puts two and two together?

"But...but what if he doesn't like me? What if he's just a flirt and we don't realize it? What if I tell him that I like him and he freaks out and avoids me?" I stress the more realistic situation if I were to make my awareness and feelings known.

"That sounds so out of character for him and that's coming from someone who barely knows him." She dismissively shakes her head. "Realistically, he thinks you don't like him because you never flirt with him and you shoot him down whenever he jokes with you."

"Shut up," I complain when I realize what she's saying is true.

"What are you so scared of?" Her voice is quite and I struggle to come up with an answer that voices all of my deepest worries.

I open and close my mouth a couple times as I drag my hands up and down my thighs. "I don't know what it'd look like, you know, me and him. He and I are very...clear on things. Right now, we're best friends and that's cool. But if I tell him about my feelings, it makes things...blurry. I do not like blurry; I like clear. And if he likes me back, it just makes it even more difficult to get a label on things. What if we don't want the same things? I don't even know if I want a relationship right now and he said it himself that he doesn't want one."

She walks over and puts her hands on my shoulders when she sees my breathing get heavier. "Girl...chill. No one is telling anyone anything, yet. We're not even close to getting you into a relationship. You're jumping to Point Z; we're barely at point B, okay? You're good...just relax."

"Relaxing..." I nod slowly and breathe deeply. "I'm fine. Everything is fine."

"How about we go get some ice cream? Friday nights are not for studying, anyway."

"Yeah...I could definitely go for some ice cream...." I mumble as I get up. She nods and begins changing into a more appropriate outfit. I check my phone and am struck with confusion when I see Eli's name on the screen. My finger hovers above the notification as I read it. 'Hey.' It's one word but it manages to send my stomach into a nervous frenzy. What could he possibly want? He called me a piece of shit and then left, so excuse me for thinking that he's done with anything having to do with me. 

Instead of potentially worsening things by replying, I screenshot the notification and send it to Dominic with a strand of question marks. Maybe he'll have an idea of how to handle the situation. I'm sure he's dealt with people he's hurt trying to creep back up on him. He may not like Eli but at least he'll give me an unbiased answer.

"I'm ready!" Kat insists so I put my phone in my pocket and prepare to ignore my notifications for the rest of the night.

+++

I do such a good job at disregarding my phone that I completely forget about it until I'm back in my room after a very long day. I don't even touch the device until I'm freshly showered and cleansed of all my emotions. Eli managed to shake me up with his impromptu message, which I couldn't get out of my head no matter how much ice cream I ingested. With perfect timing, I find Dominic's name bombarding my screen with an incoming call just as I lift the device. I answer it and balance my phone between my head and my shoulder.

"Please don't tell me you texted him back," Dominic pleads as I mix my hair products in my hand.

"No, I didn't," I answer as I put him on speaker. I massage the concoction into my hair as he talks to me.

"Good. He just wants to keep hooking up with you," Dominic replies with a heavy amount of certainty laced in his voice.

"How do you know?"I rub my hands on my wet towel and stare at my phone. I wonder how he could've possibly come to this conclusion without having heard the rest of Eli's case. I lotion my legs and roll my eyes when he sighs in exasperation.

"I'm a guy. Trust me. I know. He's probably going to apologize for hurting you and then insist on you guys hanging out. Then one thing will lead to another and you're doing the math to see how late your period is-," he starts to rant but I cut him off.

"Okay, okay, Dominic, I won't fall into the trap. I honestly don't know why he thought it'd be a good idea to text me." I shake my head at the idea of hooking up with Eli again. The last time it happened still replays in my head occasionally. 

"Because he's a guy and he's stupid." Dominic seems more frustrated than me. 

"I like to think it's because of how good of a kisser I am," I joke to ease the tension.

"Are you really that good?" I can sense him falling back into his default mode: flirty. This usually means that I say something like 'shut up Dominic' and laugh it off. I decide to dip my foot in the waters. I mean what's the worst that can happen? I'm not physically with him so I wouldn't have to see his discomfort. I decide to take Kat's advice and not shoot him down this time.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I add in a laugh to potentially save myself from embarrassment. Maybe I'm overthinking this whole flirting thing; I mean, he does it all the time and I never take him seriously.

"I would actually." I start to think more about what Kat said. What if it's true and he just feels like I don't like him? He says things like that and I assume he's joking but what if he's not?

What do I say? What do I say? My response is taking too long. "Come over," I blurt. My eyes widen as soon as the words leave my mouth. Too flirty, too flirty, take it down ten notches!

"Come again?" He seems just as surprised as I am, if not more.

"I said, come over." I try to think of a way to back myself out of the hole I just dug. Well, there's little no wiggle room in this grave.

"So we can do what exactly?" he follows up after a few seconds of silence. It's a fair question.

"Well, you want to know so badly. I figure I can show you." I'm only making things worse. My face burns as I stare at the floor of my dorm. I'm grateful he can't see me.

"So you're telling me that if I go over there right now, you'll kiss me?" He sounds cautious as if there was some way he misinterpreted my very forward passes.

I hesitate for a second. Is that what I'm saying? I reassess the conversation before replying. "Yes."

"Seriously?" 

"Yes," I answer after swallowing nervously.

"I'm on the way," he says before abruptly hanging up. That escalated very fast.

Five very long minutes pass and the doorknob is wriggled, followed by a knock. I dispose of my gum and approach the door, feeling my stomach contents turn to liquid. Where are those stupid butterflies now? I open it and am faced with my short, brown haired roommate. I'm filled with confusion as I look at her, which earns a sheepish smile in response.

"I forgot my keys," she says quietly. I hear the elevator ding and I turn to see Dominic stepping out. He stares in shock as Marissa walks into the room. I give him a slightly distraught glance before closing the door. I hear him sigh noisily before he turns and gets back on the elevator. My phone chimes on my desk and I see text messages flowing in.

Dominic: THE ONE WEEKEND SHE DECIDES TO STAY ON CAMPUS

Dominic: Did you know she was staying? Because if you knew and still invited me, that's fucked up.

Dominic: Were you actually going to kiss me? Or was it all some cruel joke?

Dominic: Forget it. I'm going to bed.

I decide not to text him back. I honestly don't know whether or not I would've kissed him. Of course I want to kiss him; I've fantasized about it for years. But do I have the balls to? And would calling him over here to hook up with me negatively impact our friendship? And what would he have said? How would we have gone back to normal after that? It's not like we got caught up in the moment and kissed; I purposefully called him over with intentions to kiss him.

Battling the confusion in my mind, I decide to tear a page out of his book and go to sleep.

+++

The following morning, I wake up and try calling Dominic. Since he went to bed early, he probably woke up early too. Or maybe he's like me and slept for thirteen hours. He doesn't answer so I call again and again. I put my phone down and decide to get ready for the day, figuring he'd get back to me in the meantime. Once I'm finished with my morning routine, I come back to my cell in hopes of a text or a missed call from him but there's nothing. I decide to text Jack, who replies within a matter of minutes.

Jack: He's at the gym but he's in a bad mood so I wouldn't bother him.

Because I'm not Jack, I gather my things and set off to the gym. It takes me a little while to find it because I've (obviously) never been. I swipe my card to get in and look around, clearly not fitting in. I think my jeans and hoodie are giving me away. I reach the treadmills and find Dominic running on one tucked away in the corner of the large room. I slowly approach him and settle myself in front of his machine. He glances at me but keeps running, not even bothering to nod in acknowledgment. I reach out and take the headphones from his ears, dropping them into a side pocket of the treadmill.

"Hi," I say as I grab the bars of the machine. He doesn't reply; he just keeps running. "Can we talk?"

Silence. I exhale and decide to keep the conversation going myself.

"Sure, Nova, anything for you," I start in a deep voice, imitating him. "What you did last night was really mean."

"I know and I'm really sorry, Dominic," I answer in a higher pitched voice, knowing he'd get a kick out of the impression even if he doesn't show it.

"No amount of apology will make me forgive you," I reply in the same deep voice as before.

"Please, I'm so sorry. I will make it up to you by buying you lunch wherever you want to eat," I continue the one person conversation in the high pitched voice. "And dessert."

The treadmill beeps and the belt gradually slows down. He stops running, grabs his towel and his phone, and starts to walk away. "Dominic!" I whine in my normal voice as I trail behind him. "Just talk to me. Please."

He starts to put his headphones in but I snatch his phone from him. I tuck it away and cross my arms defiantly. His hands fall to his hips and his stride slows to a stop. I can tell he's frustrated by the way he bows his head before he looks at me. His hand extends in front of him and his eyes lock on the space above my head. "Give me my phone."

"Not until you talk to me." I try to make myself seem as stern as possible but it's obvious to anyone that I'm nervous he won't give in. Finally, he turns his attention to me and though it's a hard and cold expression, I have faith I'll get through to him.

"November." My head jumps back a bit as I blink. We're going by full names now?

"Dominic," I retort pointedly. It has less force behind it; perhaps I should start calling him Dommy on a regular basis so that I can pull his full name out of my arsenal, during times like this. We stare at each other for a couple of seconds before he exhales loudly and crosses his arms- a clear signal that I've won.

"What do you have to say?" He sounds defeated and we both know he can't say no to me. 

"I'm sorry about last night. It didn't go how I intended-," I start but he cuts in.

"Out of curiosity, how'd you intend for it to go?" He's clearly still irritated and he has all the right to be.  But at least he's giving me the time of day now.

"Look, I didn't know my roommate was staying! She leaves every weekend, Dominic," I remind him but he speaks up again.

"But were you actually going to go kiss me?" he questions and I open my mouth to speak but opt against it a couple times. He tilts his head at me as his face goes flat. "Wow, Nova."

"I wanted to hang out with you. I didn't mean for it to happen like that," I lie. What would happen if I were to say 'yeah I was going to kiss you.' I feel like it'd just hang in the air and we'd be awkwardly aware of it during all of our interactions.

"So you were going to embarrass me and then laugh in my face is what you're saying?" He slowly nods as he takes in my words.

"No, Dominic, it's not," I insist. I swallow heavily and bounce from one foot to the other. "I didn't expect you to be so...eager. I was going to make a joke about how fast you came over." That's probably a really, really bad lie; it makes me seem like a jerk. "And then we were going to hang out and watch a movie or something."

"That's not a funny joke to make. It's mean."

"I know and I realized that. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Please forgive me." I give him a small frown and he briefly looks away.

With a defeated sigh, he shakes his head. "Fine,." He holds his hand out for his phone.

"Are you just saying that because you want me to leave you alone?" The frown is still etched on my face as I search his eyes for his real emotions.

"No." I hesitantly hand him his phone back and he pockets it. We stare at each other for a few seconds with me looking worried. He forces a smile and flicks at me with his towel. "Are you still going to buy me lunch?"

I quickly nod. "And dessert!" Can't forget about sweets.

"Okay." He makes it a point to smile and I give him a strong nod.

"When you're done here, just text me." 

"I will." The smile on his face seems much more genuine.

"Promise me you're not mad at me?" I ask one last time to be sure. 

"I promise." I awkwardly open my arms for a hug and he raises an eyebrow. "As much as I'd love to hug you, I'm all sweaty."

"I need to know you're not mad." He stares at me for a second before grinning widely and stepping forward. He envelopes me in a very hot, sweaty hug. He purposefully grinds his arms against my sides like I'm a towel. I try not to inhale as I return the tight hug.

"You might want to wash that hoodie." I shrug as I look down at the visible dampness of my outer apparel.

"It's yours. Well, actually it's mine because I'm keeping it." I look down at the large sweater and shrug.

"Go change. I'll be done here soon," he insists and I smile at him before turning on my heel and exiting the gym. I don't even bother thinking about why it hurt his feelings so much and instead, focus on what I'm going to wear to lunch. On the way back to my dorm, I stop at the school convenience store and pick up some candy to ensure he's really not mad at me.

+++

The second after we order our food, I look at Dominic and poke out my lower lip. "Are you sure you're not mad?" I need to know for certain that he doesn't secretly hate me deep down.

"I was never mad," he admits. "I was just embarrassed."

"I'm sorry." I've said it at least fifty times today.

"It's fine. I'm over it." He waves his hand dismissively as if pushing the occurrence to the past. We make conversation for the rest of the meal, avoiding the topic of last night altogether. When it's time to pay, I take out my wallet and he looks at me.

"Are you sure you want to pay for this?" He looks at the array of food he bought.

"Yes, you took me on a date so it's my turn to take you." I get my card from my wallet and lightly tap it on the table.

"Oh so this is a date?" He leans in with a smirk on his lips and I feel my butterflies jump around at the sight of it.

"Yes. May I mention that it's my fourth one but only your second?"

He rolls his eyes at my childishness. "Since you're so in charge, do you want to drive?" He jokingly dangles his car keys in front of me.

"Yes please." I reach for them but he removes them from my reach and shakes his head.

"You don't have your license for a very good reason." He's referring to the one time he let me drive his car around a parking lot. I got scared and went 40 and nearly crashed into a pole, which essentially ended our secret (and illegal) driving lessons.

"Because my parents don't want to give me the power to leave. They barely let me live here. The only reason they said yes is because neither of them had the time to commute thirty minutes out here to drop me off and then another half hour to pick me up."

"Sure, that's the reason," he teases. "It's totally not because they don't want to let a monster onto the roads."

"I have my permit." He scans my face for a few seconds while wearing a stupid grin.

"Do you want to practice?" My eyes immediately light up at the opportunity.

"Really?" Now I'm the overeager one.

"Yeah," he says as he slides the keys across the table.

I hesitate as I reach out to take them. "You're not going to snatch them back to give me a taste of my own medicine, right?" I nervously rub my hands together.

His mouth drops open and he stares at me. "Okay, first of all, how mean do you think I am? You're probably the only person who would think of something that cruel." Ouch.

"So...you're really going to let me drive if I take the keys right now?" He motions to the silver pile on the table between us.

I quickly snatch them with a wide grin and he lets out a slightly nervous sigh. I quickly pay and we leave with me excitedly jumping around like a puppy. The parking lot we're in is pretty desolate so my anxiety is kept at bay. As I get in the driver's seat, he climbs into the passenger's side. After putting on his seatbelt, he tells me the basics. I learned it already. Little does Dominic know, I've driven with my father a few times- a couple of them in the parking lot and the rest on the actual road. I adjust the seat and the mirrors while Dominic says a prayer beside me, which earns a light slap on the arm from me.

"Please don't crash," he begs me and I narrow my eyes at him. I start the car and back out of the spot, heading in the direction of the parking lot exit. I loop around the lot and show off my ability to back into a parking space. He seems impressed and he gazes out the window at the lines. "Wow, you're actually not that bad anymore. What happened?"

"My dad took me driving a couple times before I left as a way to bond with me." I give him a large grin as I dance around in my seat. "He let me drive home from the grocery store a couple times, too."

"That's good..." He gives me knowing smile and I can tell he's catching on to what I'm trying to do. "Now get out of my car." I poke out my lower lip pleadingly.

"I think I can get us home safely." I lightly grip the wheel of the car, not quite ready to stop driving.

"I'm happy you're confident. However, a five minute drive to the supermarket is different from a twenty minute drive back to the school." He gives me a tight-lipped smile but I only intensify my puppy dog eyes.

"Please." I blink up at him hopefully and his eyes bounce between both of mine.

"You realize you're asking me to break the law, right?" He extends his hands and lightly holds my face between them. I rest my palms on his wrists as I gaze up at him, blinking rapidly.

I quickly drop the act after hearing his response. "Oh, we break the law all the time so I don't want to hear it." I pull back from his grasp and watch as he fights back a grin. He looks around at the moderately busy streets and presses his hands together.

"Okay but if you feel like you can't do it at any point, you pull over and we switch," he conditions. I grin and squeal, slapping his arm happily. "You're going to be the death of me, I swear."

I get us onto the road, listening to Dominic's labored breathing from beside me. "What are you more worried about- your well-being or your car?"

"You should not be talking. Focus only on driving," he stresses.

"You can play some music if-," I attempt to turn on the radio but he loudly shrieks, which throws me off way more than any song could.

"Keep both hands on the wheel! No music, okay?" I stare ahead wide eyes and offer him a quick nod.

"Okay, fine." I keep my eyes on the road and hands on the wheel.

Fifteen minutes pass and we're finally reach his building's parking lot. I find a spot and pull into it, which gets a deep exhale from him. "We're alive!" he cries out as I remove the keys from the ignition.

"I did good, right?" I ignore his previous statement.

"Oh baby, I'm so glad you're safe," he exclaims as he gets out of the car and touches the hood.

I shake my head as he all but kisses the vehicle. "You could give me some credit, you know?" I chide from my position on the sidewalk. He continues to ignore me.

He hugs every corner of his car. "I love you so much. I will never let anyone else drive you ever again." I watch him with narrowed eyes and crossed arms.

"You're horrible to drive with, by the way. You're definitely not teaching our kids how to drive." I soon realize my mistake the second he perks up.

"What'd you say?" His attention is now on me as he props himself up against the hood of his car.

"Nothing..." I shake my head dismissively.

"No, no, you said something." He knows exactly what I said judging by the smirk lining his mouth.

"Well, I say that you're a terrible person to drive with." This is a true fact.

"No...I think I heard you say something else." I tilt my head and feign confusion.

"No...I don't think I did." I squint my eyes at him in an attempt to confuse him more.

"Did you let her drive your car?" Jack blurts in bewilderment as he exits the dorm building. I'm grateful for his sudden arrival because it throws Dominic off my trail.

"Yeah," Dominic answers as I toss the keys back to him. He catches them and extends his right hand. I tug him off the car and he joins me as we walk in the direction of the entrance.

"You never let me drive it!" Jack retorts before turning on me. "How long have you had your license?"

"I don't." Jack gapes at his roommate, who only offers a short shrug in response.

"Wow...that's really crazy, Dom." Dominic's small smile only earns a disappointed head shake from Jack.

"Sorry Jacky," he apologizes before he grabs my shoulders and guides me up the path to the door.

As we enter the building, Dominic comments from behind me: "For your information, I will pay an instructor to teach our kids to drive so neither of us have to risk our lives getting in the car with them." I stutter step and he laughs loudly. "That is what you said, isn't it?"

"I didn't mean-I meant-," I trip over my words and he laughs even harder.

"Look, I'm all for having kids with you but I'm not sure how you plan on getting it done. Do you want to have it done through a doctor or the natural way? I mean, I don't mind either way but the first way is expensive so it'll probably take a while to save up. If that's the case, maybe we should open a joint bank account and combine our savings." I don't even want to look at him and see how merry he is at our topic of conversation.

"I meant that we'd raise our kids as friends and they would learn to drive together." It's a horrible lie. He falls into fits of laughter yet again and I don't even bother saving myself. Instead, I grab his keys from his hand as he leans against the wall in tears. I unlock his door and let myself in. He trails behind me, hunched over and wheezing.

I crawl into his bed while he barely makes it to his desk. I stare at the ceiling, listening to him struggle to regain his breath. He finally sombers up and looks at me, chuckling quietly to himself. It takes him long enough to join me on his bed with his laptop. He lays beside me and props it up on his lap while repressing giggles.

"Is it really that funny?" I blurt as I scoot closer to him and he smiles at me.

"It's just...you tried so hard to save yourself and you failed so bad." He bites his lip to hold back his laughter and I give him a flat look.

"Just put Netflix on." While chuckling to himself, he pulls up the show we've been binge watching. I sit up, grab my purse, and dig around for my bag of candy. I scoop a few of the chocolates into my hand and open my palm directly in his line of sight. I watch as his gaze falls onto the sweets.

"Kiss?" I'm hesitant this time and he smirks at me.

"Not the kind I was hoping for but I'll take it." He grabs them from my hand and I let a small smile fall onto my mouth. We lay like that for a while but one question plagues my mind: why was he so quick to come to my dorm to kiss me and why was he so hurt when it didn't happen?