A place on route where the aircraft does not have enough fuel to return to the starting place.

* * *

After ensuring that my tears are all gone, with César trying to lighten up the mood by chuckling and teasing me about being much like a crybaby, we gather around the dinner table just like the first time that I've met his parents in this dreamscape. This time, however, all the foods that are laid down on the table are those of his favorite ones. And also, compared to the semi-serious and semi-playful mood from last time, it is all seriousness and heaviness right now.

Of course, the discussion of what César had gathered while on the field for almost twelve hours had been the imminent topic. It is some sort of intelligence that he shares with us; after all, according to him, it is bound to be revealed sooner or later. And for him, no matter how confidential the issue may be, it only gives him much more inclination to share it for all of us to be prepared as it is crucial for everyone's survival still.

"Twenty-one ships were damaged, according to the intelligence from the United States delivered to the Philippines; among that number were four battleships that were sunk, another four damaged, three light cruisers and three destroyers. Even planes were destroyed by the bombing of airfields nearby, too. Wala pa po silang exact numbers regarding sa mga casualties but it keeps piling up since it is Sunday morning sa Hawaii at the time of the attack," César explains. "America had been honest that they are caught off guard. According to American officials sa Zablan, they are preparing for a possible attack. 'Di lang po nila inaasahan na Pearl Harbor ang magiging first target ng mga Hapon. With a crippled naval force, hindi na po kami umaasa na makakatulong kaagad ang Amerika sa mga nangyayari na rin dito sa bansa."

Neither I nor his mother had the strength to ask the dreaded questions. Though I know that it is no hidden fact that we're aware how deep in the waters the entire country is right now, it seems like there is still a need to hear it from him for us to believe that this is all not just some long nightmare.

Only his father has the courage, that the father and son are the ones conversing about the latest news that even the radio stations can't share so easily. Whether the reason is to minimize an already chaotic country or not to look at America as a weakling actually has no impact to anything; what is going on behind the scenes is definitely what is much more important right now but is currently suppressed.

"How about dito sa Pilipinas?" his father inquires cautiously. "America had already announced war against Japan, kaya hindi na maipagkakaila na ganoon din ang Pilipinas. So... are there any attacks now?"

César stops eating for a moment and hesitantly answers, "Simultaneously, with the attack on Pearl Harbor, Northern Luzon was bombed by Japanese planes. It continues on. Kahit hanggang makaalis po ako kanina ng Zablan, reports keep on arriving of heavy bombardment. Especially po sa Iba at sa Clark. Lalos na halos lahat ng mga eroplano na nandoon. Kung mayroon mang matira na pwede pang gamitin, hindi rin po magagamit dahil binomba rin ang mga runways. Those bases are under the control of the Americans; that means, the planes there are much more advanced. But every moment po na binobomba ang mga airfields, the more and more na nawawalan ng possible aerial superiority tayo at ang mga Amerikano para makalaban." He takes a shaky breath before adding as he frustratedly runs his hand through his hair. "Wala pong magawa ang kahit sino, habang halatang-halata na plinaplano po ng mga Hapon ang pagsakop sa Pilipinas."

Some sort of sadness crosses his expression; definitely not just because of how losing seems to be within sight than winning at such a moment, but because of the casualties that are growing in number by the minute and for planes to be lost while on ground than fighting in flight. For some reasons, I finally now understand that thinking that César has; regarding the possibility of him dying because of a plane crash. I think, for any airmen, it is painful to see perfectly and well-maintained flyable planes just be bombed and to burst into flames than to show how superior it could be in combat. It's like losing a buried gold in a shallow grave that when it rains, leads it to be washed away somewhere else.

"Usap-usapan na rin po sa Zablan na kung ang mga airfields ang unang tinatarget ng mga Hapon na bombahin, panigurado pong susunod na rin nilang bombahin ang Zablan, Nielson at Nichols. At sa nangyari sa Pearl Harbor, paniguradong idadawit din po nila ang Cavite," he adds. "Kapag nagsimula na po bombahin ng mga Hapon ang mga iyon, paniguradong magkakaroon po ng malawakang blackout dito. Maging ang mga simbahan ay sinabihan na rin po na bawal magpatunog ng mga kampana; pwera lamang upang magbigay hudyat kapag po may mga namataan na mga kalaban. Kaya po may mga sundalo na rin na napadestino sa mga simbahan sa buong lungsod para roon."

"Ibig-sabihin ba ay hindi rin pahihintulutan ang mga misa?"

"Hindi naman po naglabas ng utos na kailangan ipahintulot ang mga misa. Pero binibigyan po ng priority ang paglikas; lalo na po ang mga malalapit sa mga airfields at sa naval yard sa Cavite at sa may Subic. At dahil na rin po sa naging announcement ni Presidente Quezon kanina, pinapatawag po ang lahat ng mga ROTC reservist para mag-report sa mga kampo." César breathes in heavily before staring at his parents, adding the next, "Pa, Ma... hindi po magiging ligtas ang Maynila sa panahon na magtagumpay ang mga Hapon laban sa mga sundalong Amerikano at Pilipino. Habang maaga pa po, hindi niyo po ba muna nanaiisin na bumalik ng Negros?"

Finally, his mother manages to join the conversation. It is visible on her expression that she wants to fight back, slightly embarrassed and furious by César's words at all. However, when she speaks up, she remains coolheaded. "Anak, matagal na tayong dito nakatira. Kahit minsa'y bumibisita tayo sa Negros, pero paniguradong hindi ganoon kadali ang pumunta doon ngayon. Maraming mas may nangangailangan na makaalis; lalo na ang mga nasa sentro ng Maynila."

An underlying statement can be noted in her words, though she didn't say such thing right now. She definitely wants to question, "Sa tingin mo ba na gugustuhin naming umalis para maging ligtas, samantalang ikaw ay nasa gitna ng digmaan?"

César, no doubt, realizes it, too. Something that he definitely inherits from his mother is how both of their words usually have a separate meaning that they can't say right away but could be heavily heard in the silence. And this time, he addresses that issue on mark, "Ma, tungkulin ko po ito. Kahit hindi ko rin po piliin ang pagiging parte ng PAAC dati, paniguradong mapapabilang ako sa pagiging reservist dahil sa ROTC. Gusto ko lang naman po na maging ligtas kayo ni Papa, at malamang si (Y/N) din." He turns to me momentarily before scoffing, "Pero alam ko naman po na hindi ko kayo mapipilit. Kanino pa po ba ako magmamana sa pagiging matigas ang ulo?"

"Definitely sa mama mo," his father teases.

"Anong sa akin, ha?" his mother counters, turning sharply to her husband with annoyance and surprised. "Hindi ba't sa 'yo namana ni César ang pagkapilyo at pagkasutil?"

As his parents bicker right now regarding to whom César inherits most of his attitude, he only smiles fondly as he watches them. He is definitely used to moments as this, and I know that that smile of his is a genuine one. Somehow, he manages to lighten up the mood despite how crucial the situation is right now. Not to mention that before the discussion can be turned to question us about what we are to do now with the wedding... he easily swivels it out of the way.

Now, I wonder if he has a plan for that or anything.

Underneath the table, César reaches out to touch my hand and slowly weave his fingers with mine. When I look at him, a little in shocked for the suddenness of his action, I notice that he is still looking at his parents and almost laughing at them.

I wonder what is going on inside his head right now. Is he imagining the possibility? The future that it could be us? Wondering if there could still be a chance of our happiness happening?

* * *

César manages to request tonight to be an additional leave of his before returning back to Zablan tomorrow morning. Hence, as his bedroom is always cleaned and prepared by his mother in any case that he is to visit, his parents asked us to stay the night with them. He had been willing to take their offer despite me lacking some clothes to change into; which he seems to be prepared himself when he reveals that after stopping by the apartment earlier on, he also packed some essentials of clothing for the two of us. I'll be honest to say that I've been embarrassed of him rummaging through that of my apparel.

It is definitely my first time to be inside the room he had used as a child and until as a young man; definitely before the two of us decided to rent an apartment together. It almost resembles the bedroom we share, though there are more furniture that shows its opulence like the rest of the house, and the fact that there had been framed photographs of him and even a series of books stacked so high that with closer inspection are topics concerning chemistry and the likes. A few of it had been books regarding aviation itself, too.

I almost marvel at the notion of wondering how this room had been very much a part of César. This room definitely bear witness on how he is as a child, growing up to be the fine man he is right now. He spends most of his years here; not just to sleep, but also to study and ponder on decisions and memories and the future.

But then, right now, before I get too caught up with inquiring more about his past, I need to figure out what's to come next. As the concerns regarding our wedding isn't at all addressed by anyone at all, I finally decide to be the one to breach it out by the time that it had been only the two of us inside his room. My question itself is even doubtful when I ask, after I somehow finish to change into some night clothes, "What now?"

César turns to me for a moment. He is still in the middle of unbuttoning the rest of his inner dress shirt, and even if I didn't say anything more than that, he seems to realize what I am asking about when he sighs heavily, continues on with the rest of the buttons and inquires the next, "You mean about the wedding?"

I bite my lower lip before sitting on the double bed. "Yes. Ngayong evident na talaga na may digmaan na nangyayari, ibig-sabihin na pareho nating kailangan maging active sa duty natin. So... are we postponing it?"

"We're not postponing anything." He shrugs off his dress shirt before folding it properly to join the rest of our dirty clothes, and then draws closer to place a hand by my cheek before staring at me intently as he says, "Nothing's going to stop me from marrying you, (Y/N)." He sighs dejectedly, pulling his hand away, walking a little farther the next and keeps his back on me as he fumbles on with his trousers. "Pero ang maipapangako ko lamang ay 'yong mismong araw ng kasal. Kahit hindi ako payagan, paniguradong tatakas ako para lang matuloy 'yong kasal natin. At kahit hindi handa 'yong pari, ipapapilit natin na maikasal niya pa rin tayo."

Imagining his determination is almost laughable, but I'll admit it that it is quite sweet for my heart to skip a beat. However, despite that assurance, I still can't stop thinking of the days that lead to that very day itself. I then inquire the next, seeing him pulling on some night clothes himself, "Ibig-sabihin no'n na in active-duty ka sa mga susunod na araw hanggang 'yong araw bago ang kasal?"

César then lies back on the bed afterwards, and he didn't answer at once, causing me to turn to him. He reaches out a hand to me, beckoning for me to lie down with him; and I do so, sighing contently when I lean my head against his chest. Finally, he answers, "Nawawalan ka na ba ng tiwala sa akin?"

I click my tongue. "Hindi. Kinakabahan lamang ako dahil hindi natin masasabi kung ano pa ang pwedeng mangyari sa mga susunod na araw. Ilang araw pa ba? Anim na araw pa, 'di ba?"

"Sa tingin mo ba talaga na basta-basta lamang akong mawawala?"

"Hindi nga... Pero hindi natin masasabi na ganoon sa panig ng mga Hapon. They'll definitely not be too forgiving just because may schedule ka na naka-set. I don't trust them."

"Hmm..."

"Pati ayaw ko naman na maging biyuda kaagad bago pa ang kasal mismo," I continue with a slight pout. The thought of it alone is enough to make my heart squeeze in pain.

He suddenly laughs at that, one that vibrates against his chest so innocently that makes me wish to hear it for a long time. "Paano ka naman magiging biyuda, (Y/N), kung hindi pa tayo kasal?"

Well, he has a point. I can't even consider myself a widow if ever he dies before we even get married. After all, in the eyes of the law and the Lord, we aren't adjoined as one. Perhaps, it is only between us that we can trust the other that we've already promised our future together; and yet... why am I even imagining all of it right now?

I am hating my own brain right now to think of the possibility itself. Why am I thinking of César dying? Is this a subconscious part of my brain that will slowly blend along with this plane, too? Is it because the chances of it happening is a higher one than the chances of him surviving? That my brain is unconsciously assuring me already? Preparing me of that outcome, all just because he himself is ready for that moment? It is surely because of him having that mentality that makes me have this series of thoughts at all...

My eyes start to blur with tears again. I don't know why I've suddenly become so emotional right now, and I thought that I've already cried my eyes out earlier... but then, these tears right now are proving me wrong.

"(Y/N)..." César's hand presses against the small of my back, surely realizing that I am crying by this time. "I'm sorry. I know that it is a bad joke."

Ah, akala niya dahil iyon sa sinabi niya... I think. But then, yeah. It is definitely because of that. Tapos nagsunod-sunod na lang lahat ng iniisip ko...

I brush the tears away at once and slightly push myself up to look at him intently. However, the tears are still coming in a rush, and when I speak, I stutter as I try to stop from crying, "Hindi mo ba naiintindihan, César? I... I can say goodbye to everyone else, but not to you... Hindi ko kayang magpaalam sa iyo, César. Hindi ko kaya."

He reaches out to me, helping me out to brush my tears that flow much more in buckets. He takes a shaky breath and in the blurriness of my own vision, I can't properly see what expression he has right now in the dim glow of the nearby lamp on the bedside table. But when he speaks up, I can audibly hint that he seems to be suppressing himself from crying, too. "I know," he assures me. "I know, (Y/N). Kahit ako rin... Iniisip ko pa lamang din. Kung hindi man ako magpapaalam sa iyo dahil sa digmaan o sa hinaharap, alam kong hindi ko rin kakayanin."

"Nagbago na ba ang tingin mo sa akin kaya mo nasabi 'yon kanina?" I inquire, knowing that I look like a mess right now.

"I'm sorry, my love." Pressing his hands against my cheeks this time, he draws my face closer to his to kiss me lightly—on the forehead, on my eyelids to brush the tears away, on my cheeks, on the tip of my nose, and on my lips. "I'm sorry."

By the time my tears are somehow brush away and my vision clears, I notice the sad smile that César has right now as he stares at me. It might be my own eyes playing tricks for me to see a small trickle of tear down his cheek, and the way he looks at me feels like an assurance that, at this moment, if this will be the last, he is definitely at peace.

"To be honest, I have so many bigger dreams of the future than just this. Sobrang dami pa at higit pa sa pangarap ko na maikasal tayo," he continues. "At gusto kong malaman mo na kahit ano pa man ang mangyari, matagal na akong sa iyo. I am already, and always be yours, (Y/N)."

* * *

Teaser for the next chapter:

"Go back to sleep," he replies. Though he keeps his attention drawn to the ceiling and his fingers continue on with its unconscious drawings on my skin, I know that he is very much attuned with me that his answer had been imminent with barely a whisper of his name. "Maaga pa masyado."
I curl closer to him and sigh heavily. "Kinakabahan ako."

* * *

A/N: Vote, comment and share! Whatever you do means a lot to me, and I am really wishing for some feedback! I'll be in Clark starting tomorrow until Tuesday for the continuation of my instrument rating build-time necessary before the IR check ride. Nothing to worry. The next chapter will still be updated at the same time as usual since my scheduled time for the simulations are all in the morning; thankfully not at a graveyard hour, and not a very late hour. 🥹

A few list of notes to share!
1. Pearl Harbor was bombed at about eight in the morning of December 7, 1941 (Sunday). It was roughly three o'clock in the morning of December 8 in the Philippines. News of it was first received by the American military radio at about that time, but there had been no evidence that it was true. Only an hour later did the news were rallied that it was indeed real.
2. Morning of December 8, 1941, simultaneously after bombing Pearl Harbor, Japanese forces from Formosa (Taiwan) started its attack on the northernmost of Luzon; bombing Aparri, Zambales and Pampanga. Iba and Clark Airfields were the first ones to be bombed.
3. Iba and Clark Airfields were under the command of the American military at the time of the outbreak of World War II. Later on, throughout the course of the war, the Japanese successfully used such airfields as theirs and made it their command outpost. Compared to other airfields, both airfields are extant. Iba Airfield was converted as a community airport, and Clark Airfield was converted to an air base. (Pictures of Iba Airport nowadays could be seen below after the notes. So sorry for the presence of our flight school's planes! T_T)
4. Cavite and Subic Naval Yard were also bombed a few days later. Both naval yards were crucial ports of the Americans at that time. After the war, both naval yards were revived by the Americans before Cavite was turned over to the Philippines and Subic became a freeport zone.
5. Nielson, Nichols and Zablan Airfields, the three airfields in the center of the city district, were also bombed by late evening of December 8, 1941. Bombing continued for days until Manila was announced as an "Open City" on December 24, 1941.

This is the view from above at 5500'. Iba Airport is noted with red arrows, and the short runway of about 900m alone is visible. The nearby town is Iba, Zambales itself; the mountains visible was the long range of Zambales Mountains; and the path of the river turned lahar due to the eruption of Mount Pinatubo, part of Botolan, was a trail to the crater of Pinatubo itself.

This is the view of the field from the ground; just a hangar away from the airport building itself. The two planes were parked on the lone CAAP ramp of the airport, leading to the runway via two taxiways: the south taxiway which is closest to runway 32, and the north taxiway which is about half the length of the runway away to runway 14.

Courtesy of my batchmate for this shot from her position by the hangar. Well, yeah; that's me landing on Runway 32 last 12 November 2021, a year and a half since the last time I've flown before the pandemic. Which I was quite proud of this said flight because I still know how to fly the plane, and even managed to smoothly land it on a short runway as Iba and not encountering a dolphin landing at all. I guess, the saying that the flight instructors often told returning students, "Just the refreshing smell of the fuel, everything about flying returns back." Anyway, this is the view of the north taxiway as mentioned. And yeah, in order to line up on the runway, you'll be needing to taxi on the runway itself and keep your ears open on the radio since Iba Airport has no tower at all! So, everything is basically pilot's discretion.

Chapter title: Point of No Return. Who would have thought that aviation terms could give such a chill or ominous meaning at all? Well, as it is clearly defined, the chapter continues to give an insight of the aftermath of the outbreak of war. Choosing Point of No Return as the title for this chapter is a little bit of my bias choosing; because, compared to the earlier few chapters that denote how heavy the chapters are to become, this is actually the very one I consider to be the ultimate turning point where whatever is to be decided on this will ultimately result to how things are to fare on.

Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates and trivia. ;)
#CFBArtificialHorizon