The sky is a dull haze as we step out of the compound onto the dusty terrain. The wind whips, kicking up dusty tornadoes that whirl around and catch on my clothes. I encourage myself not to think about it, not to think about our circumstances, and focus on the task at hand just as Penelope did with me. 

I'm taken aback by the vacant land that surrounded the hidden entrance to our new home, dirt and skeletal weeds are all there are for miles. I try and breathe in the air but it almost chokes me, Marcello reaches over to lift my breathing apparatus, a slender dark mask that goes over the lower half of my face. 

"It'll help with the transition. We need you to be strong." Once more, I'm the untested youth. Tonic and Reid know of my ability but the remainder of the group had yet to see me do anything remarkable, save for boss around an angry Alpha male. 

With a resounding thunk, the doors slam behind us and I tug at my lycra bodysuit and its various shades of gray. I feel as though I've been crammed into it and it doesn't leave much for the imagination though I find the funniest part of it, truthfully, is the belt and makeshift vest that go along with it. 

A hilarious bastardized version of our clothes if I had to imagine, providing plenty of room for movement while still protecting us from the elements. I fiddle with the tab on a small circular object only to have the dark hand cover my own. 

"Them apples make a pretty big boom." He comments, raising a brow suspiciously. I quickly retract my hand and Tonic reminds me that it's called a grenade. I'm afraid I paid little attention in my briefing, how could I when I was so consumed with the thought of going outside for the first time in weeks? "What's this?"

I'm yanked out of my musings. "Erm- a flashlight."

"This is your flashlight." He points to a long stick, pressing the button that blinds me with a beam as bright as a morning star. I shield my eyes as he turns it off. 

"To blind my enemies," I grumble.

"No. To light your path. Just pisses people off if you flash that in their faces, go for the grenade if that's the case. Actually.. give me that." he yanks it off my belt, attaching it to his. "I don't want to die because of your fiddling." 

I almost take offense but I find that I'm smiling, smiling because it's witty banter like this that reminds me so much of the family that I left behind. "Probably a good idea, don't want to blow us up on the first day."

"I could put you back together," Tonya says casually, flipping her hand across a scanner she's clutching as if it were our very lifeblood. "so you said we need water?"

I nod. "There's nothing here to conjure from, it's too dry. Even the air is dry." 

"Well not much for water out here, unfortunately. Might need to transfer to the city limits." A low snarl makes my skin crawl and my eyes rapidly search for its source. It's as if no one else hears it, they carry on about their day as I wheel around like a madman searching for the thing that's about to attack us. 

A massive, metal carriage appears under its own power from the depths of a crevice and I note that Marcello opens the door. The creature, only it appears to not be a creature at all, growls ideally as our small group beings to climb inside. "Come along, then, Nic." She motions to me, her eyes avoiding my hesitation as if an acknowledgment of my fear would only validate it. I steal a glance back toward the doors. "We are better off without him. You know that."

Did I? Making the conscious decision to head for the vehicle, I climb in and shut the heavy door with a jarring slam. The hum of the motor feels as though it wishes to make my teeth chatter and we're whisked off at an alarming speed as the jungle cat vehicle obediently heads toward the coordinates Tonya inputted.

 A cold chill runs down my spine as I remind myself this object is not alive, it can't hurt us. "Buckle up." Tonic offers, reaching across me to pull the straps to my five-point harness to the resting point between my thighs. I snatch the clasps out of his hands, giving him an odd look as I snap them shut. "Worried about leaving him behind?"

"What if he runs away?" Do other people worry about such things with their husbands? 

"We've got you. He's not going anywhere." The verbiage hits my ears all wrong and I decide to glare out the foggy window instead. Leaving Verando behind was not something that I did lightly, after his outburst in the meeting he, unfortunately, had left my hands quite tied. His opinions were set, formed in the way that a man of great stubbornness sets his jaw and his mind. 

No amount of convincing would right the situation, bring him around to our side, or convince him to try. His main objective was to keep me alive and it was decided that that was dangerous from a group standpoint. While I felt it was sound thinking, the others seemed to believe they were only sacrificial lambs to flawed judgment and outdated thinking. 

The toughest part was coming to the conclusion that he was no longer the biggest and strongest thing out here, he was not the expert in this field, and he seemed unwilling to let that logic slide. His boldness, his intensity, one wrong move, and we would be goners and the mission would be lost. So, as the sun rose, I did what any self-respecting spouse would do and I slipped out before he woke up, leaving him a note that he was not well enough to attend this excursion. 

Cowardly, we left Reid behind along with Helen and Rhea to deal with the outrage, leaving strict instructions to lock him down if they must until I returned. I feel eyes boring into my body and I plead with whatever deity would listen that it was not Tonic. As I glance over my shoulder, relief washes over me when I note it's Tyler. 

"Must be hard to leave your... husband? I much appreciate the sacrifices your makin' for our cause."

"It is. But it's for the best. Wolves are emotional." I steal a pointed look towards Tonic. "They think with their heart, when it comes to magic, we need to be focused on our minds. I trained with a fire mage and she taught me how dangerous it is to allow the heart to distract the mind." It makes me miss Penelope. 

"She was a wild spirit." Tonic sighs. My thoughts drift to Rowan and I wonder how much use I will truly be, how could I focus when I'm grieving all over again? "If it helps to think they are still alive, you know they exist in the same time frame as you do. So, in a way, everyone you know is living as history intended. Think of this as an extended vacation."

 I stiffen at his words, I can't help but think the phrase is poorly worded. You return from a vacation, Fergus had already confirmed there would be no return for me. 

I try and wipe the dust from the glass with my sleeve to no avail, instead, I can only squint through the particles to see small hints of greenery beginning to spring up. 

"Feel that?" I offer to Tyler, wishing I was closer to him instead of Tonic. "Moisture." I press my hand to the glass, willing the condensation to build up but we must be going too fast. Coming to a rolling halt, I must be one of the first ones out of the car with the way everyone scrambles to get to me. 

I eye them curiously, figuring they must have assumed I would run but, as I take it all in, I see nowhere for me to go. They don't trust me but who can blame them for my hostile companion?

Tonya circles like a dog looking for a bed with her device, grumbling about water, but I need no help. I motion to Tyler and take a slow breath. "Feel it. Can you tell there's water nearby?" He gives me an awkward look and it almost produces a laugh for I know the look so well. Disbelief at the ability to feel something so distant, something you can't touch or see, taste or smell. It's a deep, internal, knowing that the element is close by. 

"Well.. start with the clouds. Do you see any?"

His green eyes search, pulling his eyebrows together. "Nah, can't say I do, sir."

"They're covered up by this dust. It's a blocker, nothing can rise up, and nothing can come down. A heavy enough rain would wash it away but not with the clouds we have to work with." His expression is skeptical, I roll my eyes and take a deep breath. "Watch my hands." 

The muffle on my voice from my respirator is so alien to me, so much deeper than what I'm used to. I go through the motions slowly, guiding what I want with my fingers as my hands swirl. "Then think of the words. You talk to the wind like you know it, and ask it to come to you. My teacher used to always say the wind was shy, I find that very true." 

As the small swirl begins to form around us, I adjust my stance. "Show it where you want it to go and then send it." I easily send a gust skyward and then direct it with my body to sweep across the sky. The dust billows in all directions, covering the vehicle and us but clearing a small space of open air. The blue sky peers through at us, revealing one lonely cloud. 

Tyler gapes, scratching his head and coughing as he smacks the dust cloud off himself. "You make it look so easy."

"For us, it is, if you can 'use'. It will drain you at first, there's only so much you can do, but after time goes on you'll get stronger and it'll start to feel good, like a drug. About the time you write your own book." I snag my book out from under his arm and easily keep it from him as he tries to take it back only to muse at his thunderous laughter. 

If we are related, he got the giant gene for he's much bigger than me. On par with Verando in size. 

"Fair enough, I reckon I did take it from ya." He grins a broad, full-toothed grin. "Show me that dealy-do with your fingers again."

Working with Tyler is harder than I imagined but unenjoyable, where I find he lacks etiquette he makes up for it with charm and grit, and he tries harder than I ever did even if the raw talent is lacking. It's one of the few times I wished for Loan, he was better at this than I ever was. I slept my way through school, that didn't work here.

"Again." I encourage, watching the lumbering man struggle with the delicate maneuvers that kept the wind from sweeping his feet out from under him or bowling over his friends. I flinch, hiding my face as Marcello dives out of the way of an unsuspected slice. He curses, kicking the sand and swearing to damn the gods as he stomps around. 

Maybe I'm not good at this? Maybe I can't teach anyone? 

"You're conjuring, be happy with that." I attempt.

"Were you happy with that?"

I sigh. "It came much differently to me. The school was harsh, it was do or die, my methods were unorthodox and I was naturally gifted. This is a much more relaxed setting, it'll take longer."

He purses his lips as we scan our surroundings. I note that Tonya is taking pictures of the sky and Marcello is on edge with Tonic, watching us for the next botched attempt that could kill them. I shift awkwardly, rubbing my forearm with my free hand. 

What would Randy do? Make him run laps, I suppose, or shame him. I stop myself, shutting my eyes. He wouldn't yell. He would tell him to try harder and get it done. He would push him just as he pushed me. "Do you want to learn faster?"

Marcello perks and gives me a hard look. 

"of course." Tyler sounds almost offended, showing his youth.

"Well, the way Penelope taught me was through combat. Maybe you're the type who learns better under pressure?"

"Now Nic, don't get my man hurt."

"He's twice my size!" I complain to the overly worried man. Tyler waves him off. 

"I'm listening." He encourages.

We move towards the water source and I wade into the murky water with my tall boots, grimacing at the silt that swirls around my feet. I motion for him to join me and find my center, showing him to back up as far away as the pool allowed. "So you've been reading the book, right?" 

He nods, suddenly looking uncertain. 

"Well, I'm going to freeze the pond." He takes a sharp step back and I hold up my hands. 

"Keep the water around you warm and it won't touch you. Think about warmth, think about putting it in your feet and feeling the water around you."

 Tonya joins our companions at the edge of the water, concern clouding their faces. 

"He'll be fine." I encourage them. "Ready?" Slowly, he nods.

As I exhale, the frost leaves my feet, spreading quickly across the small expanse like a plague searching for a host. The water shivers and pops, cracking and groaning as it freezes and Tyler shuts his eyes, gritting his teeth as if the effort would make the warmth come. 

"Warmth comes from the intensity. Don't grit your teeth, put it into your energy." I instruct him, pulling back at the ice that was quickly gaining. I test the water, reaching out past the climbing ice shelf and feeling nothing if anything the water felt colder. I frown, he just needs more time. "Warm it up," I tell him firmly. 

"I'm trying!" Tyler tells me quickly, peeking through his lashes. 

"Don't look at the ice, look at your feet! Make it warm!"

"I can't!" He takes a step back as the Closter phobia sets in and I inhale sharply.

"Jump!" I command him as the fingers of ice threaten to reach his legs. He's unmoving, frozen in shock at his circumstances. I quickly punch down onto the ice and crack it, splitting across from me to him, sending the crawling shelf into a ten-foot-high rooster tail behind him of solid matter where the direct flow diverted the freeze. He looks around himself in shock and I can see the tremble in his legs. "You can't just freeze up! Do you want to die?! That's how you die!"

"I'm sorry! I got nervous! It was happening so quick-"

"You can not freeze up. If you were in school, you'd be dragon bait! Dead! Gone! Eaten to become excrement! Understand? Do anything other than that." My fear climbs into my throat, throwing my back into my school days like a white-hot inferno to my brain. Suddenly, we are no longer in the pond, we are in the schoolyard as we gaze upon the icy shattered remains of one of our friends. 

My mind's eyes remind me vividly, of the contours of a person forced into solid ice and the way the pieces were so oddly colored, frostbitten and vibrant all in one. I recall my boot kicking through red slush as we were forced to pick up the remains and toss them over the cliff, as the dragon man sucking on a limb as if it were a frozen treat. 

We felt like preserved meals, waiting to be taken. We felt like prisoners, killing our friends for them. I take a step back, touching my temple as I force myself out of my memories and back into the now. "We're done for today."

"What the heck was that?" Marcello commands me as I walk off the ice, I glance to observe Tyler slipping and sliding to make it off the thin sheet. 

"That was someone eluding death. He's practically an infant."

"He's young." He corrects me.

"So am I." Technically, right? I'm not even thirty. "Yet here we are. Do you know who doesn't care about age and excuses? The enemy."

Tonya crosses her arms over her chest. "There is no enemy, Nic. We're not fighting anyone. We're just trying to heal the planet. Aren't solomonari peaceful monks...? Can you not teach Tyler that?" 

I stiffen, overcome with the harsh realization that I am broken. I'm war-torn, just as my companion is, I've fought and scraped and endured for too long. 

I'm just as suspicious as he is, on the inside, that is. Would I even know those ways anymore, well enough to replicate them? How could I reproduce something that left me weak in instead of something that made me so powerful? My fists ball at my sides and I try to keep the possession of the wolf out of my mind, feeling the fingers of rage curling into me. 

"You wanted a teacher, this is what I am. The peaceful Solomonari are dead, someone always comes for us. It's best he is ready for that or you get to watch him die, just as I watched my friends." I take him in as he finally makes it to solid ground and sighs in relief. "The universe likes to trial Solomonari, it's not often that we survive it, considering I apparently did not survive mine. Rethink what you're asking, I don't want to waste my time." 

My body is riddled with tension that I can't explain, racked with a fear that I can not escape. Panic clawed its way through my very veins. It's not the same as the one that plagued me after my torture, it's a low, gnawing grumble in the back of my mind that tells me to protect myself.

 It's reliving past trauma over and over, stuck in a wind tunnel of screams and pleas, seeing vivid shadows that drift on the edge of my vision. Was it fair to pass this on to someone else? I vaguely remember wishing I had had a choice, I would not have chosen it.  Walking over to the water, I kneel down and dip my hand in the murky depths, calling the ice away to return it to its fluid state. 

Taking a deep breath, when I exhale, the water shivers and shudders, pushing the silt up and out of its body, to the edges of the pond. When I look up, I see a small group of people across from us, watching us with large eyes. 

A unison of clicks sounds behind me as I slowly stand but they don't look aggressive, more so scared. "Let's just go," I tell my companions.

"How did you do that?" Tyler murmurs as we head back to the car. I frown, snag his water bottle and run back to the water's edge, bending down to scoop up half a bottle and dump some silt in. 

"Here." I screw the cap back on with some difficulty. "Practice-" I'm cut short, for I have been shot.