(Nic's POV)

I opened up to him; he was once my best friend. Even if he looks very different now, he was still Tonic, wasn't he? Maybe now more so than when I knew him. He had that familiar air to him, that friendliness, the gentleness that I missed before he took Verando's place and went off to war. 

I watch those mechanical limbs as they shift and clink with his body's movement. The cool metal touches my leg, and I want to shy away from it. "Tonic, do you think I was wrong?"

He ponders this, mulling it over as he watches our legs as if there were some hidden answers in the way they brush against each other. "I think..." He tries, almost looking as if he's deciding against answering. 

When will I learn that sharing with these people is bad for my health? The longer I sit here, the more I dwell on that night together in Marisol's bar, and the more I begin to think about Tonic's ulterior motives, who knew very well that Marisol was alive. 

"I think asking him to go through being drawn on and revived is unfair. It's painful; it has to be. You know his tendencies, Verando is not necessarily fond of being, well, alive. Sometimes I think he's just waiting for an excuse. I know he'd never do it, but... That is not a life I would play with." 

Little does Tonic know just how close Verando has come to taking his own life. I run a hand through my hair, tilting my head back into the wall. It wasn't the answer I thought he'd throw at me, but I can tell he's guarding, as he puts his father into an odd light, as if that would sway me to throw in the towel. 

That hopeful tone, the glint in his eyes, we are here for two different reasons.

How could I ask Verando to do something, multiple times over again, for my benefit when I knew it was something he struggled with? 

"Damn it..." I sigh. 

It's so easy to forget the looming darkness, to fade out of the dream creature and focus on the man in front of me. Oftentimes, it took me completely off guard to think that he was on the brink at times. 

"Your father is a very complicated man." 

Tonic laughs in response, eyeing me with a look of endearment that makes me squirm, uncomfortable with being watched. I touch his leg, squeezing the thigh above the mechanical portion. "Tonic..." Stop. 

I changed the subject. I don't need to give him any more reason to raise his hopes.

 "Do they hurt?"

"Oh, my leg and arm? No, not at all. See these?" He holds out his hand, spreading his fingers so I can see the glittering green veins that run under the metallic slats. "They are artificial nerves, just like skin does. I can touch and feel, not so much the textures, but the pressure and weight. No pain, but it's quite realistic. They make skin that goes over it, but I do like it like this." 

He smirks, shrugging. Leave it to Tonic to find the positive in having fake limbs, to appreciate the silver lining in such a loss. "I feel stronger than I did when I had all my limbs, I guess. It happens, the war was tough, but we won in the end, that's all that matters." 

I turn his hand over, inspecting the near-perfect replica of a human hand and forearm.

"It's attached to your bone?" 

He nods. "Right at the shoulder." Technology sure has come a long way. "I want Verando to let Tonya take a look at his shoulder. I bet they could replace it." 

The thought makes me hesitant. Replace an entire shoulder blade? It seemed like a lot of muscle to cut through and risk for what might be a minimal reward.

 It would put him out of commission for some time, I'd imagine; people die in surgery all the time- in our time, at least. My warlord was rubbing off on me, raising my suspicions. 

"It seems silly to me to just be in pain; they could fix all his ailments, they could medicate his depression-"

I don't feel comfortable discussing Verando when he isn't here, especially not with Tonic. This isn't a concern; this is pointing out someone's shortcomings, and I find it upsetting that Tonic offers it up so willingly.

"He wouldn't be your father if they did that, it's as if you're suggesting they can just remove a person from their very being," I tell him quietly, slowly climbing to my feet. "Some people are brilliant because of their struggles, while I don't like to think about him being in pain and how it limits him, I think it's what makes him who he is.

Marisol said he was more reckless in his youth, but I think I'm learning to appreciate how cautious he is. If nothing else, I know he thinks through everything he does. It makes me trust him, trust his judgment." 

Tonic falls silent, and he stands as well, looking reluctant to allow the conversation to end. I picked the wrong person to vent to; I see that now.

It makes me shift uncomfortably as I rub my bicep with the opposite hand, scanning the room in the awkward air. I part my lips to dismiss him, turning my attention to the door. 

"Is that why you like him more than me?" He finally tries.

I shake my head and take quick steps away from him to get some distance, room to breathe.

"I don't like him more than you, I love him, Tonic. What is this? What is the sudden interest in me?!"

He pursues me, and I turn on him to warn him with my eyes-- I don't need Tonic ruining this already fragile friendship. "I've always had some interest in you, you were the first person who believed in me, and you've been a good friend, I just hate to see you trapped in the same childish games-" 

 I laugh in disbelief because the assessment couldn't be further from the truth.

"Why can't you just try? What does he have that I don't? I'm older than him, I'm more compassionate, is it sex? I can learn to give you what you want." 

I want to put my hands over my ears, flushing at the complete embarrassment of this conversation. 

Sex with Tonic? Try? Why were these options?

"Oh my god, Tonic. Please. For both of our sakes, can we not forget this? I'm not going to explain why I love your father to you; I'm not going to explain my sex life to you! Stop! I'm ordering you, as your King, to stop!"

 He reaches for my hand, and I snatch it away from him, on the defensive. 

"Do not touch me." 

My mind flashes back to Sherian, to my time as a tortured soul. He looks enough like his uncle to spark that fear in me, to throw my defenses up.

"Nic, you're being insane. Just talk to me about this; hear me out."

I set my jaw; a whisper from my past tells me not to be difficult, to hear him out. I would have felt it necessary to sit with him, to let him wear me down, perhaps he could have convinced me to try, but that is not who I'm anymore. That is not what I feel inclined to do anymore.

 I'm not weak; I'm a King, I have worth, and I have value beyond my body. "I don't wish to discuss this any longer. If you won't leave, then I will." 

To my horror, Tonic grabs hold of my wrist as I pass by. I yank the knife out of the holster on my hip, swinging at him, only to have him hold the blade with his metal hand. "Let go of me."

"You're overreacting!" He snaps through his teeth, glaring down at me. "I just want to talk, and you've pulled a knife on me!"

"Maybe you shouldn't grab an armed man!" I hiss, twisting out of his grasp to quickly rush for the door. 

As it opens, I slam into a broad chest, and my body jerks in response. I shove at the person in front of me as arms grasp my elbows and try to restrain me. I twist, contemplating shouting for help when that familiar warmth seeps through the large, nimble hands. Look up, I've finally spotted the light eyes who regard me with such concern. 

"Randy." I breathe, throwing my arms around him in relief.

He hugs me firmly, bewildered by my desperation, only to glower at Tonic with the weight of his disapproval. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I tell him shortly, a clear warning to the rejected progeny that his time here was over. "Tonic was just leaving." Glaring at the man, he drops the knife and holds his hands up as if he were innocent. "Good night, Tonic." 

A rumble rolls in my warlord's chest as he steps out of the way of the door, positioning himself between me and the other man. His hearing was good; there was no way he hadn't gotten at least a glimpse of what Tonic had proposed to me. 

Reluctant but accepting that there would be no room for any more negotiation, he nods. "Good night, Nicolas." Meeting his father's gaze as if the thought of challenging the male had crossed his mind, he bumps the larger man with his shoulder on the way out, earning a patented eye roll.

  Verando abruptly smacks the button on the wall to close it, then presses the hold button to lock it. 

I hug him from behind, a slow embrace that curls my arms under his to lock my hands over his broad shoulders. My cheek presses into his back as I take in his warmth and absorb the tension his body holds. His hackles are up, his rigid body ready to defend me.

"Care to explain?" He glances over his shoulder at me, "Tonic needs to be taught a lesson if he thinks he can walk in here so boldly."

"A misunderstanding." I squeeze him a little tighter. "Nothing happened, I promise. I... he looks like Sherian; I had a bit of a flashback."

There was only one man who I wanted to look at me in such a way, and he was before me, now. 

"I am so sorry, Randy." He turns in my arms, and I cling to him, burying my face in his chest. "I want to do this so badly; I want to fix this... for Tyler and Helen, for all of them. I got carried away, I spoke without thinking, and I don't ever want you to feel as though I don't care what happens to you."

"I understood what you meant, that you didn't mean it the way that I took it." Verando sighs, wrapping his arms around me, holding me so carefully, enveloping me in his warmth. "I don't want to be a power source, Nic. We have to find another way. It's a hard limit for me."

I tilt my head to look at him, only to find he's not looking at me. His face is clouded with concern, the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"It was wrong to ask that of you." I try, wanting to erase the tension.

"Inexperienced." The retort is final. "This is a handful of inexperienced people, and we will die with them if we play this game. Nic, this does not end well for us. They are too emotional and too invested. I fear we are wasting what little time we have left on this hope that we can pull it off one last time. When I spoke with Mother, she called it the end of days, and I truly believe her. 

Is this truly how you want to spend our time together?" Catching my hands in his, he brings them to his lips, kissing my knuckles, holding my hands so tightly as if I had the world in them. "Can we not be selfish? For once? Can it not be someone else's problem?"

 He makes a good case.

 It makes my pulse quicken to think about it, but as much as my body is ready to do as he commands, I'm stuck here. I can't let go, not when we've come so far.

Lowering our entangled hands, holding them between us as I watch the glint of the stone in my ring, I will him to see things differently. 

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. There was a time when you had a vision that no one else believed in, that we would march on the cities of Man because they would come for us. When Taryek took you, I followed that vision because I trusted you, and you were right. When the ship left to take us to disperse the book, you went to return and take your men home. 

You found Reid, Tomas, saved my life more times than I can count, and you gave up this-" I gesture around us. "Living to see this, for me. In all of that, I trusted you. I might not have agreed, but I trusted you. I am asking you to trust me and trust that you have trained me well enough to handle this. This is my time to lead; I can't keep relying on you to dig me out of the trenches I fall into, but I can ask you to follow me as I did you. 

I can do this alone, but I would love to do it with you. I won't ever ask you to lay down your life for me again, not in that way, but I'm hoping that you will side with me?"

It wasn't the speech I had planned in my head, but it was what I needed to say to him. I needed him to know where I stood, and that with or without him, I had to follow this path. Verando straightens, and for a moment, I wonder if he's going to leave, but the corner of his mouth turns up, and I see a small dimple forming. 

"Trust you, hmm?"

I nod, chuckling nervously. "It's the best I've got."

He considers this, inspecting me thoughtfully as his hand slides up to cup my cheek, brushing over my cheekbone with his thumb. "You'd like me to fall into line, just like that, at your request?" My favorite look flashes, and I shrug, half heartedly as I kiss his palm. "A few pretty words and all of a sudden, I'm at your mercy?"

"If history foreshadows the future, I'd say you're inclined to bend to my will in a case such as this. You're a fickle creature." I tell him in response, wetting my lips, my libido climbing to the surface after such an awkward interaction with Tonic. "Or perhaps you need me to convince you through a trade agreement? Do you come bearing good news?"

 "Well, you did admit that I was right, must have been painful for you to admit that, hmm?"

I reach to tangle my hands in his hair, yanking him down to me to crush my lips to his. His hand hooks my thigh, lifting me onto his body as I deepen the kiss. 

"Ask and I shall do my best to ensure that you receive it. I've acquired your aid, Marisol will provide support for your 'Building project'." He exhales against my lips, making me smirk as he moves to my neck, earning a breathless gasp from my lips as I cling to his warmth. 

Yet suddenly, I pause.

Breaking from him, I touch my lips and pull my eyebrows together. "What the hell?" I feel the sticky substance, almost greasy in texture. Smearing my hand over his mouth, he allows me to slide down his body as I watch my fingers rubbing together to analyze the substance. 

I tried to comprehend what was on his mouth; it appeared to be a gloss of some sort.

"What is this?" The calculations start, and I know he's trying to decide what to tell me. I take a step back, slowly closing my hand. "Did you sleep with her? I told you to do whatever you needed to do, so you fucked her?"

"Oh, for Christ's sake, no! I didn't sleep with her. She kissed me."

"Kissed you?" I raise my eyebrows, showing him my glistening fingers. "With this mess, it would appear she swallowed you!"

"She was drunk-" 

I slap him, and he tongues his cheek as his temper simmers under the surface. 

"Are you done?"

 I retort with a pointed attempt to knee him in the crotch, which he skillfully blocks and angles himself away for protection. 

"I didn't kiss her back, Nic. I stopped her, she kissed me."

"You're a fucking lycan, you are built to maim and destroy, your reflexes are beyond comprehension, and you're telling me you couldn't prevent a drunk woman from kissing you? You expect me to believe that?" 

His expression darkens, "We were married for a long time. Seeing her again isn't easy for me either. I didn't want to kiss her; it just happened. I was going to tell you, but when I came in here and saw Tonic-"

 She asked me if he cheated on me. I inhale sharply, turning to look at him as I set my jaw, preparing myself. "Verando Xaiver Mercer. Have you ever cheated on me?"

We stand in silence for what feels like an eternity, regarding each other, my life dangling on a thread that was the answer I could foresee coming. "Yes." He doesn't hesitate. 

I stumble back and away from him, clutching my throat, my stomach in knots.

"The night before I was sentenced to death, Anuetta was my charge, a final act to repay my debt to Mother. She said if I slept with her, she would take her own life. Unfortunately, I left my sword in her chambers."