Warning! When an asterisk is involved, that suggests that there may be some form of swearing in the content. As the author doesn't want you to be forced to read that kinda stuff, it's okay if you skip this.

Honestly, I just needed to let it out somewhere.

I feel trapped. Because of a mistake I made, a simple mistake. A mistake I regret, but cannot change. That seems to be my fate.

Anyways, today was just very...difficult to deal with. Now look, I try to my best to keep my personal life issues out and away from Wattpad. But...I can't. Or at least, not right now. You see, I have so many issues in my freaking life, I can't explain to you.

I try to keep this side away from here. It's here now. I'll admit it. I've spent countless times crying myself to sleep, but I don't cry often, because I'm stronger than that. I try to be stronger, at least.

My life is shit right now.

So much is wrong, it just...I could fix this. If I were out in the same position as the people who've condemned me to this, slowly turning me away, turning me into a sad, pathetic, screwed up person.

I don't want to be like that.

I'm bubnly, and positife...as much as I can be. No matter how much I want to cry and scream and die, I'll put up a facade and a smile. I think you guys deserve that. But sometimes, I can't stop it. It's like a damn flood of emotions, problems, demented little demons gouging into my soul till I can't breathe or speak and all I wanna do is scream.

That is my life.

This is a very personal thing. I haven't been this open about my home life with anyone else. I trust you guys, because at least here, no one judges, no one hurts, no one tries to help me and instead hurts me.

I'm a freaking screwed up person. And it's not exactly my fault.

But it is theirs.

With that said, it was a really shitty day today. Know that I'm not censoring anything right now. These are my pure and honest thoughts, straight to the page. Mother's Day.

It was freaking hell.

The reason I wasn't on, was because a family second-cousin, same age, same gender, related. She was nice and all, nd it want her fault, but her family...whenever I see them, I get better perspective of how twisted and dysfunctional my family is.

So, I'm sorry I was offline today. That was why. Excuse me while I go and curl up into a ball and try to regain my strength.

Wolf.