(Art of T0ni above is not mine. This masterpiece has been drawn by PinkFox567)

A/N: That was fast, right? Well, I was excited to write the crack so yeah-

N: Look, AN0na, if you don't have much to say, then let's just get this thing started, okay?

A/N: ...Okay...but other than comments and these notes, I don't get to talk a lot in the story, so...could I-

N: You're a part of the AN0na family, right?

A/N: Well yes-

N: Then technically you are apart of this crack too. 

A/N: Yaaay!!!!!!!

N: Okay. Now. Here's the deal guys. 'N' means me, N0na. 'N0' means my little ball of sunshine N0ri, 'Ar' means my Ari, 'A' means An0n...she's around here somewhere...'T' means Tetro, and 'A/N' means AN0na.

A/N: Hol' up. Did you say my Ari???

N: Heck no. You're imagining things. Go find N0ri before I punt you to the other side of this wall. I think she's playing with Canada, America, and Drunk Russia in her room.

A/N: ...Should we be worried that she is hanging around with a drunk person?

N: Nah. Drunk Russia wouldn't hurt her. He's basically a big teddy bear when he's drunk.

A/N: ...Kay... *leaves to go to N0ri's room*

N: ARI!!!! GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!

Ar: *Stumbles around a corner, hits a wall and ends up faceplanting on the ground in front of N0na.* Yes?

N: Stay here, the crack chapter just started.

Ar: Yes ma'am-

N: *Punches him in the face*

Ar: YeS n0nA...

N: I'm going to go find An-

A: Here... *walks into the  room*

N: ...Why is there  knife in your back?

A: Foxy stabbed me when I mentioned I was writing back to back again...

N: Good for her, you need to take a break.

A: NOT YOU TOO!!!!!

Ar: Where's Tetris guy?

A: His NAME is TETRO. He's around here somewhere. I'll go look for him. *walks off*

A/N: *walks into the room with N0ri on her shoulders*

N: Honey!!! *grabs N0ri*

N0: Mommy!!!

*A sudden high pitched screech is heard*

A: FOR THE LOVE OF WATTPAD PUT SOME GOSH DARN PANTS ON TETRO!!!!!!

T: I DON'T WANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*An0n and Tetro come running into view, Tetro is only wearing boxers and An0n is chasing him with a t-shirt and shorts, blood coming out of her nose*

A: *Stops suddenly and snaps, using AuThOr MaGiC to teleport the clothes onto a now grumpy Tetro*

T: >:T

A: Oh hush you big baby- HEY!!!

T: *grabbed An0n and pulled her on the couch to cuddle*

A: *screeching and thrashing madly, face redder than a cherry*

T: >:3

N0: Mommy!! Daddy!! *jumps out of N0na's arms and throws herself on An0n and Tetro*

*the room goes silent*

N: 0.o

A: ಠ_ಠ

T: (Ō_Ŏ)

Ar: ≖_≖

A/N: 8T

N0: :3

*the laughter of the Readers can be heard through the half-wall that separates the Reader Realm from the Real World*

N: Honey...why did you call them your parents...?

N0: Miss 'n0n is you, right?

N: Well, yes but-

N0: So you BOTH mommy!!! ^w^

A: *having an existential crisis*

T: ...I'm a daddy?

*PF teleports quickly into the story*

PF: To An0n you are~

*teleports out again back to watching the crack (with CC)*

A: *banshee screeches*

N0: You sound wike a fiwe twuck!!! :0

A: *buries red face in hands* thanks N0ri...

N0: You'we welcome!!! ^w^

A: Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

N0: Hey, I know how you can pay me back!!

A: ...And what would that be?

N0: I WANT A SISSTY OR BROVVER!!

A: *goes back to screeching*

*Exclamations of 'YES!!!' can be heard from the Readers*

*As well as laughter that this chapter seems to be guessing their reactions perfectly*

*And now slightly nervous noises that the chapter continues to do so*

*Foxy is still laughing though*

*Now the other Readers have rolled their eyes and said 'of course she is'*

*And now-*

N: AN0na, stop. That's freaky.

A/N: :,(

Ar: People have asked you before if you knew them in real life or stalked them, this is just even creepier.

A/N: Hush you, something's about to happen.

*A loud crack is heard, and a bright light fills the room. When the light dies down, a smol bean is left behind, in the center of the room.*

*The bean has shortish blonde hair that fades into black. She has big eyes, the right one light blue and the other a golden yellow, although it is covered because her hair hides the left side of her face. Right now she is scared, so her pupils are dilated a lot, making it seem as if her eyes are black. Her skin is as dark as Tetro's and she has small colorful lines adorning her skin, yellow ones around her eyes, purple around her mouth, mostly green around her body. She is wearing a smol purple hoodie and a smol pink skirt*

A: Is that-

T: BABBIE!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs and scoops up the bean, who hugs Tetro nervously*

A: Wh-

*ANOTHER crack is heard, yet another bright light. When it fades, there is another bean sitting on the ground looking very confused.*

*This one has skin the color of An0n's and light blonde hair that fades to white. She has huge white-blonde cat ears, and a fluffy yellow-white tail. Her right eye is golden yellow, and her left is light blue. She is wearing an aqua colored hoodie with a white skirt.*

A: ANOTHER???

*the newer child looks at An0n and squeals happily*

A: *scoops her up* What'll we call them?

T: Hmmm. This one is T0ni...

A: Okay, and this one...T0ria? 

T0n: Daddy!!

T0r: Mommy!!

A: I'm not sure what to feel about this!!

N: Just accept it. It's easier that way.

N0: *squeals and runs up to An0n and Tetro, bouncing up and down happily* SISSTIES!!!!

*An0n and Tetro set down T0ni and T0ria. T0ni grabs onto An0n's pant leg, burying her face in it, while T0ria runs to N0ri, bouncing excitedly with her.*

N: Cute... hey where's Ari?

*With Ari...*

Ar: *Hums and opens the refrigerator*

Can: *is inside the refrigerator* HISSSSSS

Ar: *blinks a few times before shutting the fridge and walking away with wide eyes* 8T

Ar: Well, that just happened... *walks back into the room with the others*

N: Oh there you are.

*The three kids yawn tiredly*

A: I'll go put them to bed, naptime guys!!!

T: YAAY!!!

A: Not you Tetro...

T: Awww :(

A: ...*sighs* Maybe later 'tro.

Ar: So. There's a person in the fridge.

*everyone more or less ignores him*

N: I'm bored...

A: Hi bored, I'm An0n!!!

N: I swear An0n I'm going to punch you into next year.

A: YES PLEASE. 2020 SUCKS. *runs out of the room with the three sleepy beans to go put them in bed.*

Ar: C'mon Tetro, let's go have some male bonding time. I don't know you all that well.

T: Mmkay. What's a male?

Ar: *nevermind about that...*

*Ari drags him outside and into the woods.*

T: Are you going to murder me out here or something?

Ar: ...yes I totally am Tetro... *rolls his eyes*

T: *punches Ari in the face, knocking him down, and gets into a defensive position* YOU'LL NEVER-

Ar: IT WAS SARCASM. I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!!!

T: WHAT'S THAT? SOME KIND OF SICK CULTISH RITUAL OR SOMETHING??

Ar: *forgets that Tetro doesn't know what sarcasm is* YES it's TOTALLY a RITUAL for my INSANE-

T: *punches him in the face again*

Ar: OWWW!!! DUDE!!! IT WAS SARCASM-

T: *kicks him in the nuts*

Ar: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TETROISWEAR-!!!

T: *watches coldly while Ari rolls on the ground in agony*

Ar: *finally catches his breath.* Tetro. Sarcasm is the use of irony-

T: What's irony?

Ar: SARCASM IS LIKE A JOKE. IT WAS A JOKE. I WAS JOKING.

T: Oh. Sorry.

Ar: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*with the girls...*

(PRESS THE NUMBER 6 ON YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU START TO PLAY THIS, OR SKIP TO 1 minute 37 seconds FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE)

(OH AND KINDA READ SORTA FAST AT THE BEGINNING, BUT SLOW IT DOWN LATER ON)

https://youtu.be/kLp_Hh6DKWc

A: *Sitting on the couch with N0na and AN0na* What would happen if Putin died of corona...

6

N: ... ಠ_ಠ

N: ಠoಠ

N: ಠ~ಠ

A/N: (u ⚆_⚆)

A: (･д･)

N: ( ﾟдﾟ)

A/N: (　ﾟдﾟ)

A: WOULD RUSSIA LIKE, COLLAPSE??

N: (οдО;)

A/N: Σ(ﾟДﾟ;≡｀ﾟдﾟ)

A: ⊂(⊙д⊙)つ

N: ヾ(((;ꈡ▱ꈡ;)))ﾉ

A/N: ヽ(▣﹏▣＼*≡*／▣﹏▣)ﾉ

A: /~＼o=(;ﾟﾛﾟ)=o/~＼

N: ヽ(｀Д')ノ　(д'ノ)　ヽ(　　　)ノ　(ヽ'△) ヽ('△')ﾉ

A/N: (((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))

A:  ε=ε=┏(,,'◐д◑)┛  

N: ₍₍ ᕕ('◓⌓◔)ᕗ⁾⁾

A/N: Σ('◉⌓◉')

A: ଽ ૮( ⁰▱๋⁰ )ა

N: (๑⊙ﾛ⊙๑)

A/N: ((((｡('°Α°｀)｡))))

A: ʿʿ⁽⁽((⁰ⅈ⁰))⁾⁾ʾʾ

N: ヾ(((;ꈡ▱ꈡ;)))ﾉ

A/N: (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

A: !!!!!!(ﾟﾛﾟ屮)屮

N:◝₍ᴑ̑ДO͝₎◞

A/N: Σ(+Oдo;艸;)

A: (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

*back with the boys*

Ar: So, how much of a 'man' are you?

T: Uh... *looks down to check but Ari stops him*

Ar: Not what I meant dude. I mean, how manly are you? Are you strong? Brave? Handsome? Are you like me? *strikes a pose*

T: You just contradicted yourself.

Ar: >:'(

T: *chuckles*

Ar: ANYWAY, do you have what it takes? Can you stare death in the eye and laugh in the face of danger? Can you-

*A mouse runs out of the bushes and over Ari's foot*

Ar: *Shrilly screeches and jumps into Tetro's arms*

T: What was that you were saying...?

Ar: SHUT UP DID YOU SEE THAT MONSTER??? THAT WAS BIGGER THAN THE RATS IN THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!! IT TRIED TO KILL ME!!! I BARELY ESCAPED WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

T: *rolls eyes and drops Ari on the ground*

Ar: *tears up* Owie!!!

T: ...Can we go back now?

A: NO!!! You still have to prove-

T: Okay okay, what do I have to do...

Ar: Uh................................

T: Any moment now.

Ar: SHUT UP YOU'RE BREAKING MY CONCENTRATION!! Uh, you have to...*looks around for something heavy*

*spots a boulder around the size of a small dog*

Ar: Pick that rock up!!!

T: I fail to see how this makes me a man...

Ar: JUST DO IT!

T: *sighs and walks up to the rock, lifting it easily*

Ar: Give me that!!! Must be hollow or-

T: *Hands the rock to Ari, who collapses under it's weight, squashing his foot*

*A loud scream of agony upsets a flock of birds, who take to the sky.*

*deer pause their foraging to look up in fear*

*a squirrel falls out of a tree in fright*

Ar: -AAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhgggg......

T: *has been leaning against a tree and patiently waiting for Ari to stop screaming* Are you about done now?

Ar: HHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

T: *sighs and straightens up* I'm going back home-

Ar: *clings onto Tetro's leg* CaaaRRrRryy MmeeeEeeEee...!

T: No. *starts to walk back to the house, dragging a whining and complaining Ari behind him*

Later...

A: Oh there you two are. Come and join us, we are having a tea party with the girls!

T: *shrugs and walks to the pink frilly table, Ari still clamped on his leg. Tetro shakes him off and Ari springs up, winking at N0na who rolls her eyes*

T0n: Would you like some tea and cake? 

T: Yes please!

(image not mine)

T0r: And what about you Mr. Ari?

Ar: Hmmmmm... *pokes at a scone* Sure. *He takes a fork and knife and starts sawing at a scone*

T: *triggered* Stop it.

Ar: Stop what?

T: You're not supposed to eat scones with silverware.

Ar: I can do whatever I want to! *Picks up a bite with his fork and eats it, staring at Tetro the whole time*

T: *struggling to stay calm*

Ar: *burps*

T: AAAAAAAAAA *Leaps across the table, screaming madly, and grabs Ari by the throat, knocking him to the ground and overturning their chairs*

*The two men start to wrestle and fight on the ground*

A: Tetro better be careful, Ari doesn't stand a chance!

N: What do you mean he doesn't stand a chance???

A: Tetro's stronger.

N: Ari's a better fighter! *smacks An0n's arm*

A: So? He's a twig! Without a weapon he's helpless!!! *punches N0na's shoulder*

N: He still caught you!!! *slaps An0n*

A: THAT WAS A DIFFERENT ARI!!! *Kicks out her chair from under her.*

*The two girls start a cat fight, hissing and clawing and scratching each other*

A/N: May I have some tea?

T0n: Sure!

N0: *pours AN0na some tea*

T0r: One lump or two?

1875 words

Hope you liked it!