If you guys dont know her she is amazing

So brave, I love her, she is true inspiration.

She actually has helped me multiple times with depression/stopping self harm which im so happy ahout.

So quick story (its long lmao)

I started to cut in 4th grade

Uhm everything went to shit

I was not okay

I never hid them

If someone asked I would lie being like "my dog scratched me"

I had to go to the nurse multiple times

I went to the bathrooms to clean my cuts and maybe do more it all depended

And the bathrooms were in the classrooms, not in the hallways.

So if I cried, I was screwed.

My brother found out in my 6th grade year and you know what he said to me?

"Cutters are the best liars, I didn't know for 3 years and damn."

He started to be more... gentle with me.

He knew the fresh new cuts, he new when some scared.

He would help me hide them, which thank the lord, he did.

My other brother still doesn't know, I told him I was bisexual and for a year he callled me "gay fâg". Which, as always, made me more depressed

July 7th is when I go to my doctor

And she is so helpful.

She ask my mom to leave so she can do my physical therapy, where they kinda check you down.

And she checks me, and she ask hows my depression, how many times do I cut.

The last time I went was the last day of school, and I was one year clean. And she was so happy like it made my heart hurt.

Then this summer came.

I literally fucked up my arms, my brother bandaged them and helped me sleep at night. He got me some insomnia teas (which make ya fall asleep better) and everyday we would talk. My entire family does not know what it feels like to not be normal.

Last december shit went down.

My friend ditched me, she found out I was bisexual. she said she didn't "respect" being something your not. She disgraced me and left me to die.

I honestly felt like dying, I felt like killing myself and when I was about to cut on christmas, my mom gave me a tablet.

I was so happy when I found out you can download Wattpad.

Before all of this, I used to put up my "cute and fun" drawings

And underneath them were the not so good ones.

One was a self portrait of me with cuts on my face

One was me with cuts on my legs and arms.

Venting has been wow really helpful for a year. If I felt like cutting, I put a butterfly onmywrist, my ankles, my stomach, everywhere.

And I got Wattpad

Ad I felt happier

I felt happier I can relate to so manh people

I met peole who would change me

Light, Wolf, Dogma, Morton, Rayn, Spnlover, and so much more.

I feel more alive

I feel that im willing to live

Its been a good week since my last panic/anxiety attack, and 4 days since I had insomnia. Tht doesn't seem like an achievement but boy that makes me want to scream "I DID IT ASSHOLES!"

And today wasn't really a good day

My brother calls me a fatass, but he smirks. Implying hes "just kidding your beautiful, darling" he also does it in sign language cause we do it in secret. When im telling him something I do it to him.

Yes we made our own secret language

Smirk- just kidding
Smile- I love you
Hug- help me

Yeah

And my other brother was being a true fatass

He is hunched over the computer

3 empty popcorn bags

And 2 bowls of ice cream

Watching anime.

And he was also watching TV at the same time

I said

"Your gonna waste electricity! Choose one thing to do..."

My dad hears and tells him to get off the computer. He does and glares at me and exactly says

"You think your sweet and innocent? Your a real bitch, your a real asshole. Go die where no one can hear you, go die in a hole. Go fuck yourself."

He clearly scared my heart and I didn't have any motivation. I sobbe all day, until..

Dogma and Wolf updated creation theory (very heartwarming, tydil ftw. But I ship hero and herobrine 4 very gay smol babies)

Emo freak made me a gift

And my brother wanted to binge watch SAO

And I was really really happy

I was literally happy.

And thats rare

I dont need someone telling me "your worthless"

I need myself to say "your worth every penny, and much more"

C:

WOW THAT WAS LONG

Ventish?

Nah it was a story

Teehee

Anyway go check out that girl shes amazing c:

So

Yeah

Bye?