It still hurts...to think about her..

I just still can't believe shes gone

I know I've delt with this pain more than once. The pain of loosing of a pet. And it took while to finally have the courage to say goodbye. But this.. Loosing her. My dog. My friend. My daughter. She wasn't just a animal. She just wasn't a pet to me.

She was more than that...

She was my child....all of them are..

But puppet. Ive had her ever since I was 11, I still remember how we got her...

Its just...I never thought that...she'd be buried. It was..to soon. For me. It was to early. To soon.

And even after this. All the moments, memories, days,. Nights. And years.

I feared for her leaving me...

And the worse part is...When she had her last moments..and we buried her...'every one' said they loved her.. But me...

I was stuck in a fight I didn't want to believe this. I didn't want this to be real. I didn't want to even look what was right Infront of me..which was....reality.......and after every moment we had. Every memory. It hurts like hell. It hurts even worse than hell.

And even now..I cry every time. Even when I look into the room where she used to be..I picture her there...

I could still hear her barks. I can still see her Face. even sometimes.. I see her...

And the dreams I have. They don't help. They make it worse....even the memories..

Especially since I know how she died...and when....All the memories we had they just replay.......

Just......why? Why couldn't she stay longer?.

She left to early.

To soon.......I didn't even get to say goodbye...

All I could see. And hear.

Is me..just repeating the exact same words. Of when she took her last breathe

'She's not blinking.'