Oops-

⚠️ WARNING THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL MIGHT BE TRIGGERING TO SOME ⚠️

I was cutting myself after a fight with my little brother and my dad came up to...I dunno...try and comfort me or smthng?

Well anyways he said something that really fucking hurt me but I don't really wanna say what or why coz it's kinda just a long story but it was sexist [unintentionally since he grew up in a sorta abusive sexist *boys don't cry so man up* household] and it made me feel really shitty especially coz he knew I was trans but just not fully out yet irl so I'm still called she/her and my dead name which technically isn't dead yet since my fam still calls me it

Basically it turned the pretty mild panic attack [at least for me] I was already having into a super duper ultra horrible panic attack so I took the razor blade I was already cutting with and...well...did the deepest longest-ish [i could do longer if I wanted to] cut I've ever done and I kinda sorta almost bled out on my bedroom floor oops-

My mum had to bandage me up but now there are blood stains all over my carpet and I'll have to get a new one ;-;

Here's a pic of the bandage since I can't take it off for a bit

That's only the end of it but it's har to take a pic with a big iPad and only one hand 😅

I tend to forget trauma as a coping mechanism my brain has developed so I wanted to write down a short summary of what happened so I NEVER forger and NEVER do it again unless I intend to kill myself

Sorry for the overshare