Dead Poet Society
••• American Blood •••

and i'm so scared

that all of my worst fears

have followed me out here, i'm mad at myself

•••••

Fanart!!

Artist: Salix

Artist: Anima A!

Artist: Al

Artist: mittensketchycotte

Artist: moonlightwolf15

Artist: ღ 『𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡』❥

I wrote this chapter while being fucking blasted by covid so I apologise if it's not up to standard 🫠

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TW: depictions of self-harm (anxiety), implication of suicide

  Bonnie must've let it slip to the girls that Freddy and I were going through a 'rough patch,' as I hadn't taken five steps into the lobby when I was whisked away by Roxy and Chica.

  I enjoyed company with Roxy and Chica. They made pleasant conversation and Chica's infectious sweetness perfectly balanced Roxy's sourpuss nature. We sat in Roxy's room while the wolf played stylist (it was the only way to make her take a break from complaining about the racetrack still being under construction), making up extravagant 'dos with Chica's wavy hair and applying coloured polish to my nails with perfect precision.

  Chica carried the conversation, changing topics so fast that I could barely keep up and reducing me to noncommittal replies while my head spun. At least Roxy was able to keep up with her. As much as I didn't really need to be distracted, it was still nice to hang out with them and forget about my day-to-day stresses. It felt like I was back in high school.

  As the night dragged on and Roxy had grown tired of applying and reapplying different colours of polish to my nails, I found myself edging on the line of weary from their constant energy. The rate at which they spoke was incredible, really.

  But they kept looking at me weirdly between sentences; long stares, precise and calculating, either sizing me up or trying to puzzle something together. I felt like a frog on a student's science table, being thoroughly dissected by their gaze alone. The short silences weren't subtle, either; I could tell that they were talking together over their direct link about something they didn't want me to hear. I pretended not to notice them as I admired my mauve-painted nails.

  I could feel the need for a mental break and a coffee growing stronger with each blink.

  "I'm gonna get an energy boost," I said after another half-hour of Chica chatting my ear off. I loved her, I really did, but by god could she yammer on and on and on. I was no Roxy; I didn't have the means to sit and listen to her forever. Chica nodded, mid-ramble, before continuing her bubbly word vomit to Roxy. I turned on my heel and sighed in yearning at the thought of a hot coffee between my hands.

  "Wait, Y/n." Roxy's large paw grabbed my shoulder before I could slip out of the wolf's green room. I glanced back with a tilt of my head. She looked agitated, ears flickering back and forth as though listening for sounds my human hearing couldn't pick up. Her restless, yellow eyes fell to me. "There's something going on around here."

  My brows furrowed, perplexed. "What?"

  "I don't know what it is, exactly," Roxy confided. Chica leant over from where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes wide in curiosity. "But it's been hanging around whenever you're not on shift. It... it looks like Bonnie, but... smaller. I can see it through the walls."

  A chill travelled down my spine despite me not even really knowing what the animatronic was talking about. The seeing-through-the-walls thing wasn't the issue (though it did raise an awkward question from me to her after the whole... Fazerblast incident. She was none the wiser and equally confused as I fumbled over my words).

  No. That wasn't the issue. The issue were her words; 'it looks like Bonnie.'

  My scalp prickled, my spine crackled with electricity; a feeling of trepidation had settled over me as I stared up at her with wide, blank eyes. A bud of something, a pip of an idea, it bloomed within my head. No.

  "What are you talking about?" I cautiously asked with a worried frown. I wasn't a fan of the way Roxy was eyeing her surroundings, perhaps trying to find what it was that she was just talking about. It made me uneasy, looking as though she were prey and was trying to spot a vicious predator. If Roxy was prey, then what was I? She glanced back at me again.

  "It's a rabbit," she said gravely, "like Bonnie, but not. I don't know how to explain it. It keeps hiding."

  No. No, please.

  My breath grew short and curdled within my lungs. "Where?"

  Roxy shook her head. "I can't see that far. But it seems to know our charging schedules." Her paw tightened just slightly over my shoulder. "It's... freaky, Y/n. I don't like it."

  A dreaded feeling of déjà vu cracked at me in full force. What else had known the in's and out's of Freddy Fazbear's? What else had been shaped like a rabbit? What else was like Bonnie but not? Nausea twisted my gut in a grip like ice - I had an answer, and I hated every single part of it. My hand found Roxy's wrist with fear.

  "Have you told anyone else about this?" I asked lowly, frightened. My voice had a tremor to it that I couldn't hope to control and my heart was fluttering like a bird's. Roxy, briefly shocked by my severe reaction, shook her head. "Don't- don't tell anyone, I'm- I'll-"

  I'll what? Fix this? Chase after him? What could I hope to achieve that Michael couldn't before he disappeared? I couldn't even turn to Matt for help - he didn't know I was working at the Pizzaplex.

  I swallowed sharply. "Is it here tonight?"

  "No," she said quietly. "No, it's not."

  "Okay," I breathed. My gaze drifted down as I began to disconnect from my buzzing vision. My stomach was twisting and bulging and gooping - I intensely wanted to throw up and then hide in my bed with my cat. And Michael, fuck, Michael. What I wouldn't give to get his advice on this, at the very least. "Okay. Let's... let's talk about this later, yeah?"

  Roxy released my shoulder and hesitantly nodded.

  "What are you guys talking about?" Chica piped up unsurely. She was pouting, blue eyes glancing between us worriedly. "It doesn't look like fun!"

  "It's fine, Cheeks," I reassured from around Roxy's tall frame, but my voice fooled no one. "Don't worry about it. Why don't you tell Rocks here about Drake's idea for new recipes?"

  Chica, bless her short attention span, nodded exuberantly and chirped for Roxy to join her, patting at the cushions on the floor with glittery vigour. Roxy gave me one last, concerned look, before returning to Chica. Her tail swished in worry.

  Feeling like I'd need an Advil or ten instead of a coffee now, I began for the atrium to pick up a bottle of water from the vending machine and hydrate my worries away. I was suddenly glad that I insisted on buying a pack of painkillers to keep in my office. It was sorely needed.

  The door to Roxy's room shut behind me, pushing me out into the shrouded darkness of Rockstar Row. I detested how echoey the cavernous area got after night, footsteps bouncing off each wall, each piece of preserved Fazbear history, each photo of a past that seemed to never be able to let go. Why couldn't it just let go?

  I suppose that was ironic, coming from me. 

  The shadows stretched from every direction, scratching my shoes, gripping my clothes, yanking my hair. The robot cutouts looked menacing. The trinkets held bloody gristle. Every little detail was twisted in my fear-addled brain; what if he was just around the corner? Was that another set of footsteps echoing? What would I do if he stepped out of the shadows and I was faced with a monster? Would I even have time to scream?

  My pace quickened. I was almost fleeing across the marble floor, heart on the precipice of giving out. The darkness seemed to only grow darker, a vile blackness that kept pulling and pulling and pulling, urging for me to join, calling for me to surrender, wanting my death on its lips.

  It can't be him, it can't be him, please don't let it be him. I can't do this alone, I can't do this without Michael. If William was truly here, if he was in this building, if he was around the corner, then what chance did I have? Kids would keep going missing, kids would keep dying, and I wouldn't be able to stop a single thing. And if I got close to it, then I was sure to join the miserable, lost souls that roamed the bowels of this miserable, lost place.

  I was right. The missing kids are linked to Fazbears. It's not a copycat. It's him.

  I kept seeing him in the shadows, though I never really did see him before. All I had to go off of was Michael's reluctant descriptions; a golden Spring Bonnie suit, tattered and faded and oozing goopy, repulsive fluid. An animated corpse within, the chiseled white of bone and metal, the brown of rotting meat, the stench, god, the stench of a walking dead body. And the eyes - glowing, white, piercing. Like his eyes would murder you just by a throwaway glance.

  I could see him, but not really, just the idea of him, I supposed. Cornered in the shadows, watching, waiting for the time to strike. Stood in the doorways. Hiding around blind corners. His eyes were on me, I could feel it, assessing each way he could kill me before I could even realise what was happening. He was everywhere, but nowhere, but everywhere - this place was him, Fazbear's was his, his kingdom of death and blood, his monarchy of horrors.

  I swiftly turned a corner at an angle that almost had me slipping over myself and collided with a metal body and I screamed; something bloodcurdling and shriek and full of fear. I could see him, golden hand reaching out, sharpened tips glinting with blood, corpses piled behind him. I was just another number, just an added bulk to the pile, just another subject of his sick perversion. My life would ebb from my body, flowing from me just like my blood that was sure to spill over the marble floor-

  "Jesus, darl, would ya stop shriekin' like that?!"

  The gruff, throaty yell of a familiar gator pulled me from my waking nightmare. I found myself on the floor, cowering, arms over my head as though that would stop a knife's descent. My teary eyes peeked up and I found Monty standing with a pissed-expression and a hand to his forehead.

  It's not him. I felt my body slowly, slowly, begin the process of relaxing. It's not William. It's Monty. It's just Monty.

  "Oh my god," I breathed. Roxy's warning really did make my imagination fester into something horrid. "Oh my god."

  "Yer, fuckin' hell, 'oh my god,'" Monty mocked with a snarl of his sharp teeth. He slid his star-shaped glasses up, resting them in the thick coils of his red hair. "Th' hell ya screamin' like that for? Ya wanna give everyone in this place a heart attack or somethin'?"

  "I-" and then I burst into exhausted tears. Monty, with his eyes comically widening, took a step back in fear. He stared at me as though I were an alien.

  "Th' fuck you crying for?" he asked, voice thin with panic.

  "I don't know!" I sobbed from the floor.

  "Wh' do y'mean you don't know?!" Monty snapped. His hands hovered unsurely as he glanced around the darkened Row and tried to find a solution. I shakily got to my feet with an arsenal of sniffles and whimpers. "Hell- stop cryin'!"

  "I can't!" I cried. I hadn't realised just how spooked Roxy's warning made me. Shock had me entirely rattled, but I wiped at my eyes with my sleeves and attempted to sniffle myself back into composure. I sent the gator a pitiful look. "Do you know where Freddy is?"

  Monty's joints hissed as he stiffly crossed his arms. An indifferent look crossed over him - pressed in the displeased creases of his expression.

  "'He's at Bonnie Bowl with th' rabbit," he gruffly replied, voice sharp and scathing. I rubbed at my nose. "They're doin' one of their 'deep philosophical talks' 'gain. Boring-ass shit."

  "You're still unhappy with him?" I asked. Monty's tail thumped against the floor in frustration. "You guys gonna tell me why yet, or am I still not allowed to know?"

  Monty grunted. His gaze, narrowed and seething, drifted to the side. His entire body language screamed 'hate.'

  "Somethin' like that," he muttered. I sighed in defeat. Monty glanced back at me and must've found me still to be uneasy, as he piped up with an offer I never thought I'd hear from him in a million years; "we can do some paintin'. Calms me down."

  I gave him a startled look. "Really?"

  "Don't look so shocked," he spat, instantly on the defence again. Monty turned on his heel so fast that his tail almost clobbered me across the room and he stormed off down the Row. I watched him go, taken aback and glued to my spot, until he gave a frustrated huff and glare over his shoulder. "You comin' or what?"

  I jumped back into gear and gave a stunted nod. "Uh- yeah! Yeah, sure!"

  A brief flash of a pleased smile crossed over his sharp teeth before it was smothered with a grunt. I jogged to catch up with his long pace, briefly and thoroughly thrown that he'd suggested such a thing.

  He eyed me as I made it to his side and I smiled up at him, touched that he cared. But his expression was something unexpected - solemn and sorrowful, before it was abruptly wiped away and he turned to stomp towards the rehearsal room for our impromptu painting session.

  I faltered, once again shocked by the uncharacteristic look his face had adopted. Was that pity? What was with the animatronics and looking at me so weirdly all of a sudden?

  "So many questions at this damned place, and never any fucking answers," I grumbled to myself before running to catch up.

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  "What do we say when daddy asks what you did all day?" I asked as I pulled into the employee parking lot of the complex.

  "I sat in your office and played legos!" my niece chirped from the back seat.

  It was the school holidays, and with school holidays came a staggering influx of guests and party bookings. And, also, with school holidays came my duty to babysit Amelia when Matt and Alice got too caught up at work. Which... landed me in a pretty displeasing position.

  I glanced at the rearview mirror and found the little blonde girl's reflection beaming back at me from her booster seat. My smile in response was weak. Teaching Amelia to lie was an evil I feared I would never recover from.

  "Good girl," I replied as I turned off the car and unbuckled myself from my seat. Amelia watched as I opened her door and began undoing the attachments of her car seat. "You're gonna meet a new friend called Sun today, okay? He can be a bit loud and excited, but he's lovely! And you'll meet Moon, too, he's a bit more mellow. Does that sound fun?"

  Amelia bopped her head in excitement as I undid the belts. My smile turned genuine and I kissed her forehead, making her squeal with giggles. I slung both my bag and hers over my shoulder and picked the four-year-old up from her spot. She settled above the familiar dip of my hip and watched with wide eyes as we approached the overzealously decorated building that had yet to open to the public for the day.

  I used to take Amelia for a couple of days over the school holidays to let her parents catch their breaths between being swamped with work and running after their daughter. My old accounting firm used to have an area where employees could leave their kids for the day - a smaller scale of an official daycare - where Amelia would play with the other kids while I worked. It worked perfectly.

  Unfortunately, I didn't work there anymore. So.

  While I wasn't pleased that I'd have to leave Amelia in a daycare with a robot of which she'd probably most likely yammer about to her parents when she got back home, I didn't have any other choice. To decline would arouse suspicion immediately (I'd spent the past four years looking after her without fail, after all) but if I could convince Amelia to talk about anything other than Fazbear's, then maybe I stood a chance of survival - but my hopes were low. They were buried-six-feet-under-the-dirt low.

  I should've just told Matt that I started working at the complex months ago - but I wouldn't have been able handle the pitiful look he'd give me, the crushed expression he'd make when he realised I'd begun regressing in the worst of ways. And the longer I worked at Fazbears, the more I stalled.

  Either way, I was probably fucked.

  Amelia's eyes widened when she met Freddy's as we entered the complex and I felt a small smile pull at my lips. This was risky, but at least she'd have fun.

  Freddy's eyes were just as wide as the little girl's as they caught sight of one another. It was adorable, really, the kind that made my chest squeeze and for unmentionable feelings to rise to my cheeks. His bewilderment and Amelia's fascination had the same emotional nuclear recipe as a pack of puppies.

  "Y/n," Freddy began in surprise as he glanced between the little girl on my hip and I. His voice box glitched and he almost dropped the coffee in his grasp. "Is- is she-?"

  "Don't blow up, buddy," I snickered as I approached. Amelia dug her head into my neck as she stared warily at the massive bear. "She's my brother's, not mine. This is Amelia. Amelia, this is Freddy."

  "Oh." Freddy's tense shoulders dropped and he took a proper look at Amelia. His look of shock faded into something more warm and paternal as he crouched to be closer to our height. He offered a hand. "Hello, Amelia. It's grand to meet you."

  Amelia quietly nodded in response. Freddy slowly put his hand back down with an amused, small smile, polite and gentle as always.

  "Why're you being all shy now, hm?" I hummed against her pigtails. She hid her face into my collarbone instead of replying. Freddy's gaze softened, watching as I set the girl on her feet and straightened out her jersey. I poked her little nose and blew a raspberry. Amelia gave a breathless, shy laugh, big blue eyes peeking from behind her lashes.

  "You're not scared of Freddy, are you?" I asked. Amelia hesitantly glanced at the bot, who quietly watched on. "Look what his nose does."

  Freddy's eyes widened. "W- wait, Y/n, I'm holding-"

  But I was committed the role of making my shy niece laugh, and I impulsively launched, heavy bags and all, at Freddy's nose.

  He gave a deep yelp as I collided, slamming my fingers against his rubbery nose and emitting a loud honk that echoed throughout the lobby. Freddy raised his hand with the coffee in a desperate attempt to keep it from jostling which, to his credit, didn't spill a single drop. His free hand instinctively caught me around the waist.

  "Ruthless woman," Freddy admonished as he recovered with bulging, shocked eyes while Amelia's delighted little laughs was filling the lobby. We turned our attention to the little girl as she giggled, cheeks pink in joy. I guess seeing her aunt throw themselves at a eight-foot tall robot was enough to boost her confidence.

  "I suppose you want to have a go now, too," Freddy huffed, though absolutely enthralled by Amelia's quick elation. She giddily nodded and approached with her arms outstretched, beelining it to the kneeling robot after he gave me my drink. She placed her small hands on his nose and each honk drove her deeper into a giggle fest.

  The scene made me take pause as I watched Amelia overcome her worry in record time while Freddy readily succumbed to her childish wants. A garland of emotions had begun to awaken within me, gathering and growing into a ferocious, tropical thunderstorm.

  Maybe it was the way he was watching her snicker, all doe-eyed and genial like a gentle giant. Maybe it was simply my maternal instincts that reared its head and decked me in the face when I least expected it.

  "You're just like your aunt," Freddy mused to the little girl. They both glanced at me then, two pairs of blue eyes looking up at me, and I felt my breath crumple within my chest. It took everything in me to keep myself from staggering.

  Freddy's head shifted just so as he watched me internally fumble. My grip on the bags' straps and my coffee tightened with a swallow. His gaze was heavy and curious; the sweet weight of it shuffling over me like a heavy blanket. I cleared my throat and turned my eyes away.

  "We should get going," I said, so Freddy swept Amelia up into the air, making her shrieks pierce though the lobby before catching her again. She deliriously giggled as she sat in his arms, perched like she belonged there.

  "Shall we?" Freddy asked when I didn't move from my spot. His eyes held a look that told me he knew exactly what I was going through. My face went hot.

  "Yes. Yeah." I turned on a dime and began stiffly making my way towards the elevators. A long drag from my coffee did nothing to settle my flurry of feelings. Freddy walked beside me, perfectly in step, as he and Amelia engaged in effortless conversation. I stared at my drink with a furrowed brow the whole way to the daycare.

  Amelia was in the middle of listing off the names of her stuffed animals at home for Freddy when we reached the daycare. Tilly opened the door after Freddy gave a knock and brightened at seeing Amelia.

  "Hello!" Tilly coed as Freddy set Amelia down on her feet. "I love your pigtails!"

  Amelia beamed up at the handler. "Thank you!" she chirped.

  Over the top of Tilly's head appeared Sun, who'd wandered over upon hearing the fuss. He grabbed his grinning cheeks and gave a gasp of delight upon seeing the little girl.

  "New friend, new friend!" Sun gushed before dropping to his knees so he wouldn't tower over the little girl. His sun spikes wiggled with joy. "My name's Sun! What's your name, friend? And what's your favourite colour of puppy?"

  Amelia glanced up at me. I gave an encouraging smile, so she turned back to Sun and answered.

  "I like pink puppies, too!" Sun exclaimed. "We should draw them!! With sparkles and glitter glue and sequins!!! What do you say, friend Amelia?"

  Amelia eagerly nodded. She took the Attendant's outstretched hand and happily followed him inside the daycare, pausing only to wave goodbye to Freddy and I.

  "Uh... Tilly..." I began nervously.

  "Don't worry," Tilly reassured. The handler glanced back inside, where the two had taken a seat and begun drawing at a table that was comically far too small for Sun. "She's in good hands."

  That's not exactly why I'm nervous. I was nervous of what could possibly be hiding in the underbelly of the Pizzaplex - the not-Bonnie, the ghostly voices, the blood-thirsty endos. I was nervous of the history of Fazbear Entertainment and the corpses of its past that it tried so hard to hide. I was nervous for the safety of my niece.

  Freddy placed his hand on my shoulder and set me with a calm smile. He didn't pry into why I was anxious; simply just accepting that I felt it, and rubbed a circle with his thumb.

  "Amelia will be okay," he soothed. "We can pay some visits during the day."

  My tense shoulders relaxed slightly under his confidence. If Freddy thought that Amelia would be okay, then she'd be okay. I gave a small nod.

  Tilly was watching us with a knowing smirk when I tore my gaze from Freddy and turned back to her. Embarrassment skyrocketed through me - were we that easy to read? We must've been, because the glint in her eye was unmistakable. With a tick her of lips and a wink my way, she closed the doors to the daycare.

  Freddy's eyes dropped to me which I expertly avoided (not really). His smile was irritating - not in the way to be purposeful, but in the way that made me annoyed at how easy I was to read.

  "Would you like me to carry the bags?" he asked, like a gentlemen.

  "Yep," I managed to croak out, like a fool.

  If Freddy noticed my intended silence on the way to my office, he didn't try to break it. He remained quiet, sailing beside me with my bags which looked hilariously minuscule on his bulky form. He let me have my thoughts as we worked our way through the complex to the Row.

  But the silence was allowing my imagination to get away on me. The darkened corners were eerie and each closed maintenance door felt as though it'd open to a cemetery. I dreaded just the thought of walking through the labyrinth-like tunnels to get to backstage.

  My hand found the locket hanging from my neck. I was growing restless, unnerved; I shouldn't have left Amelia at the daycare, anything could happen to her, I should've just kept her at my side for the entire day. But I get busy, and with that comes carelessness and - god, I couldn't handle it if my little Amelia was hurt because of me.

  What on earth possessed me, saying yes? I should've just told Matt that I couldn't, I should've just told Matt the truth-

  " Y/n."

  "What?" I gasped. Freddy was staring at me with alarm.

  "You have been staring at the card reader to your office for quite some time," he carefully said. I glanced at it in surprised before fumbling to press my ID against the reader. The door clicked open. "Are you okay?"

  "Yes," I said quickly as I shoved my way inside. The door shut behind Freddy as he placed the bags on the couch. "Why wouldn't I be?"

  I could feel the displeased look he was sending as it prickled against my neck. I was fooling nobody, not even myself. I heard an intake of air, a creak of metal: he was going to speak, berate me possibly, on pretending to be okay when I clearly wasn't. I beat him to the punch.

  "Did you really think Amelia was mine?" I asked. He faltered at my sudden topic of conversation before frowning the moment he realised it was a diversion tactic. "Is that why you looked so shocked?"

  He regarded me as I sat in my desk chair and kept my arms coiled tightly to my lap. He was using an expression I hadn't seen often - if at all - face turned tight as though a fire spoke had stabbed him in the middle and had been viciously twisted. And he stared at me with that worried, frustrated, distraught expression and I stared back at him, with a face that no doubt showed every single lick of turmoil I was feeling. He conceded to my desperate whims with a sigh.

  "Do not mistake me, Y/n, please," Freddy said as a small smile replaced his frown. "If you think that I was jealous of who her potential father could've been, then you pinned me wrong."

  "Really?" I said with a raised brow. My grin was jesting, amused, but it was oh-so-fake: nothing more than a mask to hide the fears that had taken me hostage. What a thin mask it was. "What was it then, hm?"

  Freddy hesitated. His expression tightened again, but this time in what seemed to be embarrassment. I leant forward, prompting.

  "I suppose... I was simply taken aback by the resemblance," he murmured. His eyes found a spot on the floor and remained there, stationary. "She looks just like you."

  My amusement faded as I sat up straight. The implication wasn't lost on me - or, at least, I hoped it was his implication and not something I made up on my own; Amelia as my daughter... with him? What, as a step-father? Did Freddy want to be a father?

  I suppose he must've had at least a hint of paternal instinct in his programming given his position around children. It shouldn't come as a surprise, and yet I felt floored all the same. Why did this heartbreakingly adorable robot have to crave a domestic lifestyle when his fate was sealed to the stage? It was something he could never have, and yet forced to see it in the families that he performed for every single day.

  "Oh..." I breathed, just as I felt a stifling feeling settle in my chest. "I..."

  I couldn't say anything. What else was there to say? He seemed to understand, at least, that there was nothing I could hope to do that would unseal him from this fate. His look of reluctant acceptance told me as much.

  "You are very good at deflecting," Freddy spoke up when my hunt for words dragged on too long. My eyes jumped to his, amused, sad. "A pro, I must say."

  "I don't know what you're talking about," I murmured. I turned my chair back to my desk only to have it whirled back around to face Freddy. I gasped and grabbed at the armrests instinctively, and my fingers brushed against his. He had me caged to the seat.

  "I know that you do," Freddy countered with a dip of his head. My heart jumped in my chest. "Y/n, if something's the matter, you know you can tell me."

  And I would probably have a better time speaking if he wasn't leaning in so damn close. My heart was all but leaping out of my chest as I stared at Freddy's face, only inches away from my own. The armrests protested under the weight of the robot. My hands retreated to my chest, fiddling anxiously.

  The endoskeletons, the sinkhole, the ghosts, the missing children, the not-Bonnie. Kids were dying and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt useless, hopeless; what if it was Amelia who was taken next? Nobody was doing anything and I felt so lonely, it felt as though only I knew the truth.

  The only people who ever did know the truth were the four of us; Henry, Charlie, Michael and I. But Henry was dead, Charlie was off halfway across the world and Michael was god knows where.

  It was only me. All these potential victims had was me. And I was in no way qualified but I was the only one who really knew what dark secret this place held. I was the only one who knew what the monster living in its sinkhole was - and that thought terrified me. I didn't have Michael to help me. I can't do it alone.

  "Y/n?" Freddy gently called. My distorted gaze focused on him.

  I'm not alone.

  "Freddy," I breathed as I grabbed his hands. His blue eyes blinked at me in surprise. "I need your help."

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  "What's got you so jittery, L/n?" Joey asked as I chewed on my nails. "You drink too much caffeine again?"

  I tore the end of my thumbnail off and winced at the slight throb it left. The taste of the nail polish Roxy used had me grimacing, but I couldn't stop the habit.

  "Yeah," I replied distractedly.

  I was watching the morning performance from the VIP box instead of catching up on my emails and scheduling for once. To anyone, it would've looked like Freddy was having an absolutely normal day. He was singing well, hitting his cues, chatting cheerfully with the crowd. His banter with Monty even felt seamless, despite the tension between them.

  I, on the other hand, showed enough anxiety for the both of us. I watched the performance but I didn't, not really. I was too caught up in our conversation that we had just prior to the show;

  "Anything," Freddy had instantly replied upon my request. His hands cradled mine. "Whatever you need."  

  My eyes searched the lightning bolt on his chest as I tried to find the right words to accurately describe what the everloving hellfest was going on in his own basement. I couldn't afford to distract him by stumbling over words, or freak him right out of cooperation. I needed him, so I needed to word this perfectly.

  "That night..." I swallowed back my fear and pushed on. My scars itched. "When I went exploring..."

  Freddy's expression steeled. "I remember."

  "First off, those endos, they weren't... normal," I said as my eyes flickered to assess his reaction. "They were tampered with, right?"

  Freddy released a sigh. "I hate to accept it, but yes, I agree."

  "Yeah. Okay, I- I came across this room," I managed. My brow furrowed deeply as I paused and tried to figure out a way to explain this without coming off as being completely bonkers. Freddy waited patiently. "There... there was a girl."

  "There was a girl down there?" Freddy echoed, puzzled.

  "No, kinda, I- ugh-" I pulled my hands from his and buried my face into my palms. There was so much I wanted to say but everything that came out of my mouth sounded incoherent and unconnected. I knew how it all tied together perfectly but I just couldn't word it out. "It wasn't..."

  Freddy's expression deepened in confusion as he watched me drag my hands down my face in agitation. Everything was perfectly lined out on the tip of my tongue, but it entered the air as a jumble.

  "I should've written bloody cue cards or something," I dryly sobbed. "It was a ghost- a ghost, Freddy- and I know-"

  He stilled.

  "- I know that you must think I'm going crazy, and I sometimes think I'm going crazy," I stressed, "but there was a little girl's voice down there and-"

  "I believe you."

  I stopped dead and found Freddy's face. He didn't hold a hint of doubt as he stared me dead in the eyes and relief careened through me so fast that I saw white.

  "You do?" I asked in breathy disbelief. When he gave a solemn nod I fell into a liberating laugh and leant back in my seat. "Oh, thank god."

  "Is this what's been stressing you out?" Freddy asked as he reclaimed my hands. "That happened months ago."

  "Not exactly," I sighed. My brow furrowed as a wayward thought popped up and inputted itself into the conversation. "Did you ever speak to Vanessa about that night? You know, about the sinkhole?"

  "I did," Freddy replied with a slow nod. "I told Officer Vanessa on her next shift, though she did seem a bit... distracted."

"Yeah..." I hummed in thought. "She was off when I spoke to her about it, too."

  "How so?"

  "She caught me on the cameras going down there and blew up in my face about it - threatened signing me up for misconduct or something," I replied with a bewildered shake of my head. Freddy hummed in contemplation while his thumbs mindlessly rubbed circles on the backs of my hands. "Then she got real defensive when I brought up the missing children-"

  I flinched into the backrest of my seat when Freddy suddenly stood up. My hands recoiled against my chest from where his hands had so quickly slipped from mine.

  "Missing children?" he echoed in alarm. My fingers grabbed at my shirt.

  "Y- yeah, that's what I was... getting to," I quietly replied. Freddy's tortured expression darkened in horror as I continued, "there's been a string of missing children over the past couple of months-"

  "No- no, no." Freddy shook his head. He backed up until he hit the couch, which was sent back into the wall with a loud thud. I jumped. "No, that's- that's impossible, that can't happen-"

  "Hey, I- I know it's scary, but-"

  "No, that's not what I'm-" Freddy sat down onto the couch with a shaky breath and cradled his head. I watched on in shock. Was he spiralling into a panic attack? Freddy could have panic attacks?

  "It was for nothing," he whispered. "It was all for nothing."

  My face crumpled the more Freddy mumbled to himself. He really was going off the deep end, and I recognised myself in his incoherent, incomprehensible panic.

  "Freddy..." I pulled myself from my chair and slowly approached the trembling animatronic. My hand found the place just beneath his ear and I winced when I felt his shell to be overheating. I really fucked that one up. "I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have..."

  "No, no," he forlornly sighed, but his voice was dubious and barely audible through static. "You were right to tell me." His hand reached up to hold mine over his cheek. "Knowing this, alone... it must've been scary."

  My expression fell as I choked up. Yes, it was vividly terrifying, and he recognised that, he understood me immediately. He always managed to and it astounded me every single time.

  "I'm sorry," I said when my eyes began to well. I was overwhelmed and stressed and tired and scared. Freddy's brows folded in sympathy and he pulled me into his space, where he could gently wipe away my tears. "I don't want to bring you into this but I- I can't do this by myself."

  "Y/n, sweetheart," Freddy said gently. His hands turned to hold my face. "You won't have to. I'm with you."

  My knees went weak under his reassurance. A debilitating weight had been removed from my shoulders and I staggered beneath the freedom.

  "Y/n."

  "Yeah?" I sniffled.

  "I need you to tell me everything that you know," Freddy requested. His hands fell to my shoulders, steadying me, and I used the solidness of him to keep me grounded. I wiped at my face and nodded.

  "Yeah. Right, of course," I mumbled. My eyes glanced back at my desk's drawer, where a sticky note had sat for the past few months. It burnt me just to think about but it was damning evidence for what case I was about to unload onto Freddy. It had to be William who drew it. Who else could it have been?

  "I-" I paused to give a hoarse chuckle as I pulled away from Freddy to retrieve the sticky note. "I've had prior experience with this bullshit, if you'd believe it. I..."

  My eyes landed on the crude drawing of the little boy, sketched heavily and inarticulately onto the yellow paper. Every time I saw it, it made me take pause. Oh, how much I cared for a little boy I never got the chance to meet. 

  "Y/n?"

  I was startled back into reality by Freddy's soft call. I picked up the sticky note.

  "Yeah-"

  I was cut off by my watch beeping and gave a sigh. That was the ten minute warning before a show. I placed the sticky note back into the drawer and turned around to face Freddy, who was already standing up from the couch. His face seemed to be set in stone.

  "We'll finish this discussion later," he said. I nodded.

  The nails on my left hand suffered the wrath of my teeth for the most part. Joey rested his cheek on the top of my head in silent comfort, which I appreciated for when Freddy would look up to the VIP box and look as though he found me within its glass walls. We were both equally frightened and each glance reminded me exactly that.

  Freddy was an impeccable performer. Whether he was just as shaken as me, or not, or even more, then he didn't let on. He entertained with enchanting grace and entertained with undeniable skill that far surpassed just his coding. I found myself thinking that I should watch the performances in person more often.

  After the show ended, the other handlers and I waited below for the platform to bring the bots down from the stage. My right hand suffered the same fate as my left and I wrung them as they ached. Freddy made immediate eye contact as the platform lowered, bright smile fading to his grim frown. I watched with an unfaltering gaze as he approached.

  "We just have to get through the meet and greet," I murmured. He nodded and followed as I walked a little faster than usual towards the Row. Lines were already starting to form outside the rockstars' rooms.

  The meet and greet session seemed to drag. Each minute ticked on an hour, making me grow more and more restless. The line looked as though it was only growing, not shrinking, and I felt disheartened each time I looked out the door and saw the crowd of families cramming to get their five minutes with the star.

  "Y/n," Freddy called during a brief interlude between guests. I glanced back at him as I stood at the door, arms raw from where I'd been rubbing at them with anxious impatience. "It's okay."

  "I know, I just-" I had to stop myself as twins with a father entered the room, but Freddy caught my meaningful look. He gave a nod of understanding - he wanted to get this over with, too. He loved the kids, and I enjoyed seeing the way their faces lit up, but there were more pressing matters we wanted to focus on.

  "Say 'Fazbears,'" the staff bot photographer said in its monotone voice.

  "Fazbears!" the twins happily chorused from Freddy's lap.

  "I know that you are impatient," Freddy said after they left the room. He motioned down at my raw arms. "But please, love, you are hurting yourself."

  I dug my hands into my pockets as I stared out at the line. "Sorry."

  Freddy's head tilted in my peripherals. He looked as though he wanted to say something, probably along the lines of 'stop apologising,' but he didn't get a chance to. A small group of kids and a gaggle of parents entered the room for their group photo. Freddy's blue eyes reluctantly pulled from me.

   "Say 'Fazbears,'" the staff bot photographer said.

  "Fazbears!" the group sang.

  "There are kids dying," I whispered in desperation as I watched the line go at a snails pace from the door. "And we're stuck here."

  Freddy didn't respond. The next guests entered.

  "Say 'Fazbears.'"

  "Fazbears!"

  "Perhaps try not watching the line," Freddy suggested as we waited for the next guest during this eternal torment. "It might make it go faster."

  I hesitantly nodded and retreated to his oversized vanity. I tried to be productive with my time, I tried to catch up on my emails and sorted leave for Gabby, but it was useless. My brain kept wandering, my hands kept stilling over my tablet's keyboard. I kept thinking about the ghost stuck in the underbelly and dreaded to think about how many has joined her since then.

  Rubbing my eyes, I internally groaned as I watched the clock at the top of the screen. How could it go by so slow? I was sure it'd been an hour already, but only twenty minutes had passed. I stomped down the urge to take a peek outside.

  The only thing I could do was try to whittle the time away and do my work. I did still have to get paid, after all, so I did. I forced myself not to watch the time as guests entered and left. I'd catch Freddy's gaze on the occasion and he'd offer me an attempt of a reassuring smile, but they didn't work.

  I just wanted to tell him everything. I just wanted to get started on a game plan.

  Instead, I continued adjusting the scheduling of the next month's parties. I tweaked Arty's hours like how he requested. I gave Dennis my weekly report. I replied to Elsa about the upcoming advertisement shoot. I did my work and it was grating.

  "Y/n."

  I almost dropped my tablet at the sound of the harrowed voice leaving Freddy's mouth. I checked the time - oh, thank god - before my eyes shot to the bear. He was staring at the person that had just entered the room with a wide, disbelieving gaze.

  "Freddy!" I heard Amelia's voice sing in joy before leaping into his arms. He caught her effortlessly, but his shocked gaze remained solely on the man at the door, our last guest. My heart stammered in fright. What was Amelia doing out of the daycare?

  My eyes followed Freddy's.

  "Oh, shit," I breathed as I stumbled from the chair and stood painfully straight. It was Matt. Matt. And he stared right back at me with a sorely betrayed look.

  "It was funny, you know," Matt began as the door slid shut behind him. "I went to drop off Amelia's night bag at your work, except you weren't there. You know what they told me?"

  Freddy glanced at me but I couldn't meet his gaze. I was frozen under Matt's disappointment.

  "They said you put in your resignation eight months ago," Matt finished with a pique of his brows. "And I thought 'no, that can't be right. My sister would tell me if they changed jobs,' and then I remembered you telling me about the interview at Fazbear's that you said you wouldn't go to."

  I was numb and in shock and I didn't even know what to feel. Wait, no, I did. Guilt. And a debilitating amount of it.

  How could I have kept this from Matt for so long after all that he sacrificed for me after Michael left? How could I have been so much of a coward? I should've told him from the start but I didn't, and now I was standing in the middle of my own mess. I deserved every bit of shame I felt.

  Matt approached and pulled me to the side of the room, out of Amelia's ear shot. He was livid, but his grip was gentle on my arm. I think that hurt more.

  "Please pose for the photo," the staff bot photographer said. I met Freddy's stunned gaze - I should've told him about this, too. About Michael, about how troubled I was, about how I couldn't tell my brother that I worked at the Pizzaplex. My guilt doubled - I'd let them both down.

  "How could you come back to this place?" Matt whispered furiously. Freddy's ear twitched as he and Amelia posed. "How could you have kept this from me? I spent years terrified that I'd find you dead after what that prick did to you, and you're back here again?"

  "Matt-" I choked out. "Matt, I'm so sorry."

  Matt took a step back and held his hands over his face. His ragged inhale told me he was close to crying and I felt it stab me through my chest a thousand times over.

  "When we lost dad, you became my responsibility," he grounded out through a thick throat. "Mom couldn't handle it after he died, you remember that? How do you think she'll take it if you hurt yourself? What about me? Alice? Amelia?"

  "I'm not-" I was struggling for breath. I could feel Freddy's gaze pinned on me. "I would never-"

  "But you almost did!" Matt whispered ferociously. He was crying, now, and my own tears matched his. "And being here- god, Y/n, it's like you don't want to let him go."

  "Matt, there are kids going missing again," I whispered. He took pause.

  "And you brought my daughter here?!" he cried. "Y/n! What if- oh my god-!"

  "I trust Tilly," I said, desperate for him to understand at least this. "And I trust Sun-"

  "You mean the robot?" Matt asked in disbelief. "You trust the robots that were trying to kill Michael?"

  "They're different now," I insisted. "Freddy is different now, look at him."

  "That doesn't matter," Matt hissed. "You shouldn't even be here-"

  "You can't control what I do," I weakly argued.

  "I wish I could!" Matt gave a wet laugh. "Do you understand how heartbreaking it is to see you in misery like this? You're not even trying to help yourself!" He paused to wipe away his tears with a shattered exhale. "It's as if you're still in love with him-"

"I am still in love with him!" I burst. "I am, and it's killing me!"

  Matt's hands dropped from his face as he stared at me. My ears seemed to ring after my admittance and the words hung in the room, unmissable and arresting. My expression crumpled as I realised that I had finally admitted to him the one thing I vowed to keep secret and I could feel it, I could feel the weight of Freddy's gaze on me as my body trembled with agony. Even Amelia had finally noticed the commotion.

  "Oh, squirt," Matt murmured. He gathered me in his arms and I fell into his shoulder with a sob.

  "I don't know how to let him go," I cried.

  "I wish I knew what to do," Matt spoke into my hair. "I'm so sorry."

  His shirt soaked under my tears, but I noticed that there was a sense of relief in my crying. I'd kept this from Matt for so long, told him that I was okay and that I'd moved on when I hadn't. I tried to protect him from my truth, but all it did was hurt me more and more. I should've just told him.

  My eyes peeled open from behind my watery lashes and found Freddy watching with a pained expression of his own, ears folded. I wished he didn't have to see me like this. I wished he didn't have to learn about Michael like this.

  His gaze was pulled from me then when, in his arms, Amelia asked a question I couldn't hear. Freddy gave another distraught glance my way before focusing his attention on the little girl.

  "He is different," Matt noted quietly. He must've seen Freddy's expression, too.

  "Yeah," I said with a small smile and a sniffle. "He is."

  "The meet and greet session is over. Please vacate the room," the staff bot said. "Please vacate the room."

  "Fuckin' thing," Matt muttered. I sniffled a giggle into his shirt before pulling back. Matt gave me a weak, lopsided grin. "Hey, when do you go on lunch?"

  "'Bout half an hour," I replied. He swiped some of my hair back into place before wiping his cheeks.

  "Why don't we meet in the food court?" he suggested with a small smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes. "We can talk more."

  "That sounds good," I said quietly.

  "Please vacate the room," the staff bot said.

  "Okay, we get it," Matt grumbled. Amelia struggled from Freddy's arms and dashed to her dad, where she abruptly dug her face into his pants' leg. Matt patted the top of her head. "Text me when you're off."

  "Okay," I murmured, nodding. He gave me a sympathetic smile, kissed my forehead, and finally left the room under the staff bot's insistence. I waved goodbye to Amelia.

  It was just Freddy and I.

  I reluctantly caught his gaze. He was holding mine and I couldn't even begin to pick apart the amount of emotions turning behind his eyes. I swallowed awkwardly and dropped my chin. I regretted that he had to witness such weakness.

  "Y/n," Freddy murmured as he began to approach. My eyes closed briefly at his voice, lashes cold and wet, but I forced them open. He almost seemed to grow in size the closer he came and his size towered over me as it usually did, but this time it felt smaller than usual. His hands were gentle as he pried my arms apart. "Please, stop hurting yourself."

  I glanced down at my skin, rubbed to irritation. My hands went slack in his grip.

  "I didn't even realise," I murmured. My eyes widened as he deftly leant down to pull me into a firm hug. His head slotted into the space beside mine. I blinked in surprise.

  "I'm so sorry," Freddy whispered.

  I was stunned still for a short while before I gave a strangled laugh. Tears fell down my cheeks again as I returned his hug.

  "What are you sorry for, big guy?" I asked. "All you've done is be a sweetheart."

"He was an idiot for leaving you the way he did," Freddy said quietly. "And I bet he spends every single day regretting what he did."

  That hit a bullseye I didn't even know I had. I sunk into him in misery, hid myself in his arms. He tightened his arms around me when I began to shake.

  "He left me," I whispered through shivering lips. "He must've found someone else. Someone better."

  Freddy pulled back and sent me a genuinely baffled look. My watery gaze found his as he tenderly brushed some hair from my face.

  "No," Freddy murmured. "No, he didn't."

  I scoffed a disheartened laugh. "How would you know?"

  "Because who could be better than you?" he asked in gentle disbelief. "You can't do better than what's already perfect."

  I sucked in a sharp breath as my eyes widened. I wanted to laugh, but the way Freddy was staring at me in such seriousness proved that he wasn't making a throwaway comment. He genuinely believed what he said.

  I gave an incredulous shake of my head (how did I deserve such sweetness after hiding so much from my loved ones?) and buried my head into the shell of his shoulder. Hugging a giant robot was no longer uncomfortable. It felt right, in some odd way. And it was all I really needed.

"You're too good for me," I whispered.

  "No," Freddy murmured into my neck. "No, I'm not."