Good Kid
••• Tell Me You Know •••

tell me it's okay

that i dropped right off the map

and i'm falling every day

tell tell tell tell tell tell me you know

tell me it's okay

'cause you'll find me anyway

•••••

sobbing crying throwing up hitting the ground doing the macarena paying my bills having a shower
look at this wonderful fanart *breaks down*

Artist: alter--sky

Artist: sleepii.x

Artist: Clow

  I slowly woke to obnoxious neon-red lighting with an equally obnoxious headache.

  My eyes squinted against the harsh colour, bringing the throbbing behind my skull to a resounding and swift crescendo. I willed the pain away, which of course it didn't, and pulled the soft blanket up towards my chin in grumpy defiance.
  Tucking my head under the blanket and digging deeper into the pillow, I tried my best to return to the allure of sleep.
  My brow furrowed. That doesn't smell like my detergent.
  Eyes shooting open, I focused past the painful lighting and took in my red-coated surroundings. The vanity. The door. The wall of children's drawings.
  I was in Freddy's room. I was on Freddy's couch.
  I was on Freddy?
  Stiffening in surprise, I noticed with deep alarm that my pillow was tucked up against the robot's massive metal thigh and that I was curled up like a cat against him. His arm was placed just ever so gently over my shoulder, his paw lying in front of my face.
  I felt my stomach seize in embarrassment as my eyes jumped up to scout Freddy's reaction to me basically using him as a headrest. His head was slumped, small ears dropping forward. His blue eyes were closed.
He looked like he was sleeping.

  I felt myself slightly relax. I wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of whatever this was yet. Hopefully for a while.
  I eyed his slumbering face as I laid there, head partially on his lap and covered by an arm. Freddy's cheek had a couple of scratches, probably from where kids clambered over him like a really expensive piece of playground equipment. His silicone muzzle could do with a bit of a scrub. 
  He was... surprisingly warm.
  Relaxing further, my eyes drifted back down to where his hand laid dormant in front of me. It was so big, and the beige paw pads all but yelled for me to squeeze. The silicone was the same as his muzzle and I imagined it to be just as giving for when he had to handle kids.
  I never got a chance to explore his paw beans. I didn't want to give him ammunition to tease me with.
  But he didn't seem to be online, so I took the opportunity to push a finger against one of his paw beans and I found, with great delight, that they were even softer than they looked. My finger sunk slightly into the silicone at its give before it popped back out upon release. A burst of serotonin shot me straight in the face - cat Mike never let me play with his paw beans.
  I pushed against the bear's pad again experimentally, and then more in quiet amusement.

"Good morning."

"Christ!" I cursed and glanced up at him, blue eyes now open and regarding me with subtle interest. My cheeks burst aflame as my hands swiftly recoiled from his. "I thought you were asleep."
Freddy blinked. "I... cannot sleep."
  I stared at him. He watched me back.
"Right," I nodded as I quickly sat up and gathered the blanket in my lap. Idiot. "Of course."
  His eyes followed me, unwilling to depart from my form. I avoided his gaze with a blazing face. Did I, in my sleep, manoeuvre myself onto his lap? Or did he? The mystery of it was hovering above my head and plucking at the back of my neck, but I didn't have the balls to ask.
  I wanted to bury myself in my hands and wither away in misery. I really did just decide to fall asleep in Freddy's room, huh? He must've thought I was mental.
"Moon brought over the blanket and pillow from the daycare's supply," Freddy said when he saw me staring at the soft blanket with a confounded expression. "I hope you do not mind him entering my room while you were asleep."
"No, that's... that's fine, thank you," I murmured. I ran a hand down my face. "I'm... sorry. God, my head hurts."

  Freddy leant forward to catch my eyes. I reluctantly found his concerned gaze.
  "Do you require painkiller?" he asked. "I can fetch you something to eat, too. You must be hungry."
I frowned at his insistence, but admittedly, my stomach did growl as soon he mentioned food. I held my tummy with a strained grin.
"That actually sounds pretty good," I confessed.
"Okay." Freddy nodded, sounding pleased. He paused for a second to stare into space before turning his gaze back to me with a content smile. "I have ordered your usual through the staff bot delivery system. It should arrive shortly."
I raised a brow. "My usual?" I didn't even realise that I had a usual. Freddy blinked.
"... yes," he answered with a cute little tilt of his head. "A burrito with no beans. Your usual."
I frowned, still lost, before realising that actually, yeah, I probably did go to El Chips more than the other food joints in the complex.
But that meant that Freddy either scanned my staff purchases on the complex's system, or-
"Freddy, have you been watching me?" I asked incredulously. He paused, dumbfounded, before floundering at my accusation and holding his squishy palms up in defence.
"No! No, I have not been watching nor following you," Freddy vehemently denied with a shake of his head. His voice dipped with panicked static. "I only- I have simply noticed that you frequent El Chips more than the others whenever I pass the food court on my way to Fazerblast from the green rooms."

I narrowed my eyes in doubt. Freddy's ears pinned back as he avoided my scrutinising stare. He quickly leapt to his feet.
"I will go retrieve some painkiller and a beverage," Freddy stiffly announced before quickly vacating his room with a slide of the massive door. I watched him leave with raised brows.
"'Oh, yeah, Y/n, have you been on any dates?'" I spoke aloud in the empty room as I goofily mimicked my brother's question from a few months prior. My head dropped back onto the pillow Moon brought for me with a loud grunt. "No, Matt, who needs to go on dates when a giant fucking robot has a massive bazonker crush on you?"
My groan bounced in the silent room. I stared at the LED star light that hung from the ceiling with a scowl.
"My head hurts," I whimpered aloud, because I was alone and I could.
Freddy returned a few minutes later, armed with a packet of painkillers and a bottle of water. Both looked comically small in his hands.
"Thanks, big guy," I hummed and popped open two tablets. He hovered at the vanity, nervously flicking his claws against one another while I swallowed back the pills with some water and recapped the bottle. A thought had me sending a puzzled look towards the bear. "What time is it?"
"Nearly five," Freddy answered.

I frowned and recalled him resting (or his version of it) while I slept on his thigh. It must've been some kind of low-power mode or something to conserve battery.
  "Have you charged?" I already knew the answer.
"... no."
"God, you silly." I rolled my eyes. He could've just moved me off and not risk an entire battery shut down, but I guess not. I pointed at his charging chamber. "Charge. Go. Now."
Freddy hesitated. His blue eyes found me, bounced away, and returned to my face once again.
"I'm not going anywhere," I sighed. "There's no point in me going home. I've got food on the way, I've had my water and painkiller. I'm just going to eat and probably try to go back to sleep, okay?"
Freddy hovered for a few seconds more, ears swivelling as he assessed his options. At my pointed look, he released an exhale and stepped into the unit.
His blue eyes, resembling so much of that of a puppy, watched me until the chamber door clanged shut and he powered off for the recharge.
  I stared at him through the chamber window and sighed. The crush wasn't fading away as I had hoped. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it got far worse.
  The door to Freddy's room slid open mid-emotional crisis and a staff bot rolled in with a tray. I thanked the robot and began unpeeling the burrito's foil so my empty stomach could finally find some relief.
  No beans, just the way I liked. The way Michael used to order for me after long days at uni or at my old job. The way Michael used to homemake for me whenever my mood was down.

  Don't cry over a stupid burrito.
  I cried over a stupid burrito.

  After my breakfast was finished and the trash was in the bin, I curled back into the corner of the couch with my blanket. My eyes kept glancing over to Freddy in the charging chamber, waiting for his return.
I didn't like the silence. The silence reminded me too much of home.
My stomach was pleased and my headache had reduced, so while waiting, I fell asleep. I groggily woke twenty minutes later when voices at the door pierced my consciousness awake.
"Keep your voice down, Monty," Freddy quietly ordered. My bleary eyes found him standing in front of the entrance to his room with his back to me, blocking the gator from entering.
"You fuckin' sneaky bitch," Monty roared with laughter. "D'ya get yer stick wet?"
Holy what in the fuck?
"You are being very disrespectful!" Freddy shrilled as hushed as he could. "Voice down."
  "It's just a question, y'overgrown teddy bear."
  "Monty."
  "Yeah, yeah, whatever," the gator grunted. The sound of his tail thwacking against the ground betrayed his irritation. "Y'better get yer lil' girlfriend presentable before the other humans arrive. Doubt'cha want them getting' suspicious 'bout yer plaything."
  My eyes snapped open when the sound of cracking plaster started erupting from the hand on the doorframe. Freddy had dug his claws into the wall as easy as poking warm butter, plaster dusting to the floor like thin snow. Monty took a step back in bafflement. We both watched the bear in shock.
  "She is not my 'plaything,' Montgomery. Have some decorum," Freddy demanded in a low, rumbling gnarl of a voice. There was an edge to his words that had my spine shivering. "Treat them with respect."

  "Respect?" Monty snarled as he recovered from his surprise. He squared up to the bear with a dangerous look in his red eyes. I watched the squabble from where I was frozen to my spot. "Ya think following after 'er like some lovesick puppy dog with y'tail waggin' is treatin' them with respect? It was funny ta start with but now ya just look pathetic, Fazbear, and Roxy agrees."
  A sharp, animalistic growl ripped from Freddy's throat and Monty began to fiercely snarl in tandem. Suddenly, the cracked wall was the least of my worries.
  "Hey!" I called as I stood and immediately got my legs tangled in the blanket. I went down to the floor with an 'oof!' and an "ow, shit" before scrambling free and planting myself between the two towering, furious robots whose maws were equally curled over their frighteningly realistic teeth. "Hey, now. Let's tone it down, fellas."
  Monty stared down at me, expression impassive.
  "Yer face looks like shit," he grumbled. Another piercing gnarl thundered from Freddy. I pulled a disgruntled look at the gator's insult.
  "Uh, ouch, uncalled for," I said shortly. Monty grunted as his eyes rolled to the side. "And you-" I turned to slap the back of my hand at Freddy's chest with a metallic clang. "Stop growling, for Christ's sake. You're not a dog."
  His snarl subsided. When I called his name again to snap him out of whatever twisted his undies, Freddy finally ripped his eyes from Monty's and his sharp glare softened upon landing on me.
  "You're fucked, Fazbear," Monty sneered. Our eyes jumped back to his. "And as soon as the star's programming starts actin' out and they need to start scavenging for parts, who d'ya think they'll axe first? Not the originals, thats fer' fuckin' sure."

Freddy's scowl eased just a tad, and my heart sunk when I recognised the fear behind Monty's hurtful words. He wasn't being awful just to be awful - he was genuinely afraid.
  "Monty, you're not going to be decommissioned," I assured. He flinched when I rested my hand on his arm. "Everything to do with you guys goes through me first. I won't let anyone do anything to you."
  "Yeah, well Ms. Manager, yer doin' a swell job managing this shitass," Monty sneered with a nod Freddy's direction. The bear's metal jaw creaked as it clenched. "Don't forget - ther's people with more jurisdiction than you who can pull the plug on us whenever."
  Monty shrugged my hand from his arm and left, tail swishing against the ground in agitation. I watched him leave in sorrow until the sound of Freddy's claws retracting from their burrows in the wall had me glancing back at him. He was assessing his damaged claws with a worried frown.
  "I am... deeply sorry," he apologised in a low, quiet voice. "I have never lost my temper like that before."
  I decided to stress over the implications of that at a later date.
  "I'm gonna head to the staff showers," I murmured, not knowing how else to respond. Head still tilted down in guilt, Freddy glanced at me with his big, blue eyes. "Monty's right. I need to... somehow make it look like I didn't stay the night. For my own drunk-self's dignity, at least."
  "I see," he murmured.

"And..." I began, shifting awkwardly on my feet. I bit my lip and released it, noticing the way his eyes followed the movement. Fuck's sake, Freddy. "As much as I appreciate the whole 'knight in shining armour' shtick, I'm a big girl, I can handle a little teasing. I can fight my own battles."
His shoulders slumped.
"Ah," he acknowledged as his eyes drifted to the ground.
"You should probably stop... acting weird around me, too," I hesitantly mentioned. Freddy turned his head away at my words, hunched in on himself and ears folded. It felt like I was kicking a damn puppy, holy fuck. This wasn't fair.
A strike of guilt had sliced me up the midsection at Freddy's reaction, but a bigger part of me agreed with Monty; it would be him and Roxy in direct trouble if they suddenly needed to start finding quick fixes to Freddy's processor or programming unit. He would always be the priority.
Whatever Freddy was feeling wasn't only unsafe to his less secure bandmates, but it was also hugely unprofessional. Also impossible, feasibly.
  It's got to end. Nip it in the bud before it becomes a major problem.
"Okay," I said with a stilted nod. I suddenly couldn't look at him - the penitence was swirling a storm in my stomach, even though I knew I was doing the right thing. "Thank you for looking after me. I'll see you later."

I quickly fled before I could wait for a reply, all but speeding over to my office to grab a clean pair of clothes of what I could successfully pull off as semi-professional. I sighed when I realised that I needed to do my laundry again.
When I reached the staff bathroom, I finally realised what Monty was talking about - all of my make up from the night before had smudged horrifically over my face while sleeping.
"Dang," I murmured to myself. "Monty was right. My face does look like shit."
  After showering, scrubbing my face and dressing in clean clothes, I finally felt somewhat decently-human again. There was a brief pass of frustration when I realised that it would be over twenty-four hours since I stepped foot in my own home by the time that my shift was over.
  Cat Mike would be fine. He usually went into other people's homes to eat their cat's food, anyway, like the little asshole he was.
  I balled my used clothing up into a pile to run back to my office before stopping in my tracks upon exiting the staff bathroom.
  Sundrop hovered at the end of the hallway, swaying anxiously. Behind him was the staff entrance to the Superstar Daycare. My heart leapt into my throat.
  "H- hello, frie- erm, hah, fellow staff member," Sundrop choked out from down the long hallway. I watched him in suspense, awaiting his inevitable explosion of upbeat energy. The attendant fiddled with his fingers. "I heard from- from friend Monty that you were around and... I- I wanted to... I wanted to..."

  My head tilted suspiciously as the attendant trailed off with a high-pitched squeal. He dug his hand into his pocket and held out a neatly folded piece of paper.
  "I made this for you!"
  His long, skinny arm stretched out towards me, barely taking up a fraction of the space that was between us. Sundrop remained in his spot, swaying ever-so-slightly as if he couldn't physically stay still, with his free hand hiding his face in a look of either fear or bashfulness.
  After a long, few seconds of neither of us breaching the space, I finally calmed my heart and slowly began stepping forward towards the erratic robot. I tucked my clothes under my arm, gently plucked the paper from his grasp and, after giving him one last narrowed glare, unfolded it.
  It was a drawing of Sundrop and Moondrop with what was vaguely a human shape with my hair colour between them. They were all holding hands while bees and flowers were sketched around in different coloured crayon. 'Best friends!' was scrawled in messy handwriting underneath the three figures.
  My heart burst. Sundrop was watching my reaction from between his fingers.
  "Oh, wow," I gushed as I took in the art. "Is that me?"
  "... y- yes!" Sundrop nodded enthusiastically. He pointed at the robots. "And that's me and my brother, Moon! I... I drew this as an apology for scaring you- for spooking you when you first arrived, heh."

  "It's lovely," I complimented with a smile. Sundrop's face spun in excitement. His swaying increased.
  "Really?!" he squeaked as he held his hands before his chest. "Oh, I'm so glad, so glad, so glad! I felt awful after scaring you, oh yes, I did! I get too excited sometimes, oh yes, I get too excited, that's what friend Vanessa says!"
My god, he sure is a lot. I felt my respect for Tilly rise exponentially for being the handler of such an energetic robot.
  "Consider this an apology accepted," I said with a smile. Sundrop danced around me with a staticky, giddy laugh.
  "I'm so happy, so happy!" he exclaimed as he wrung his hands. "We can be friends, right? We can be friends? Oh, I'd love, love, love to be friends!"
  "We can be friends," I answered with a giggle. This was almost making me forget about emotionally punching Freddy in the Fazballs and then dropkicking him into the sun from before.
Sundrop screeched in joy and I almost had to wince from the shrill pitch.
"Friend Y/n! Friend Y/n! Friend Y/n!" Sundrop chanted gleefully as he circled me once more.
"Hey, Sundrop? I have a question."
The attendant came to an abrupt stop and peered closely. He nodded eagerly.
"Yes, yes?"
I fiddled anxiously with my hands. He noticed the movement and copied with his own gangly limbs, curling his fingers through one another like how I did.
"Have you ever seen Freddy... mad?"

"Freddy mad?" Sun's head spun in thought. "Hmm, hmm. Nope! Nope-nope. Friend Freddy's never been mad, no siree! I don't think he's capable of being mad!"
I hummed in thought, face scrunched. There was no way that he was that riled up just from Monty's teasing. Monty teased Freddy all the time and all that the bear would usually do was simply wave him off or chuckle along.
There had to be something more going on that I wasn't seeing.
"Okay," I murmured. I shot Sundrop a parting smile as I carefully tucked his drawing into my pocket for safekeeping. I had already planned to stick it to my fridge.
"I'll see you around, friend," I bade my farewell.

Sundrop laughed giddily into his hands.
"Bye-bye, friend Y/n!"

⚡️🧸🤖🧸⚡️

Freddy had been avoiding me.

Which, I suppose, wasn't an awful thing, per say. He was just doing what I told him to with a few extra steps. He couldn't act weird around me if he wasn't around me.
But walking into the Pizzaplex Tuesday morning with no Freddy there to greet me with a bright smile and a coffee made me feel... oddly empty.
I hadn't realised just how much of a gap he'd filled until he wasn't there anymore.
Monday maintenance day was a total disaster for the gator and bear. Both ignored me, both seemed to be away with the fairies, Monty was more irritable than usual and Freddy, at times, would hide his face behind his paws when he thought nobody was looking. Mandy and Arty were baffled.
I felt like utter shit.
"Monty's missing!" Arty cried at five minutes before the first performance of the day.
I felt like even more utter shit.
"He hasn't missed a performance ever since I was taken onboard," Arty frantically explained as we raced our way through the utility tunnels in hopes of finding a wayward alligator. "I don't know what to do! This hasn't happened before!"
"Breathe, Arty," I reminded. "It's not the end of the world if Monty misses a show. We can just tell the guests that he was booked in for emergency maintenance."
"But what about Dennis?" Arty asked nervously. "What if he finally decommissions Monty? He was on thin ice for years before I got here!"
"Exactly, and he's not on thin ice now," I reassured. "Let's just focus on finding Monty and worry about Dennis later, okay? Check his green room and any spots he likes to hide in. I'll scout Gator Golf."
Arty nodded and split off from me.

  I cursed the Pizzaplex for making Monty's patron game so dark. Every time I thought I saw a looming silhouette of a robot gator, it would just turn out to be one of those fake trees that dotted the course.
  I eyed the water hazard with a grimace. Please don't tell me he's in there.
  Leaving the water for the last possible thing to search, I continued weaving my way through guests and avoiding wayward golf balls. And then, finally, after nearly fifteen minutes of scouring through the golf course, I noticed the tip of a tail draped over the edge of the catwalks above head.
  Monty was sitting on the metal catwalk, watching guests cycle through the holes below. His arms were crossed on the bar in front of him and his chin rested on his forearms. His legs were crossed. His expression was downcast.
  I walked up the staff-only steps and quietly took a seat next to him. The only notion that he acknowledged my presence was with a flick of his massive tail.
  "Hey," I greeted. A gator cart rattled along the rail below as it passed over the course. "This is a cool spot. You've got a nice view here."
  "Aren't ya gonna tell me off for missin' th'show?"
  "I mean, I could," I agreed as I watched a kid miss their ball by a mile. "But I don't really want to. What kind of friend would I be if I told you off?"
  Monty grunted. His tail swished.
  "Thought 'chu was my manager," he accused.
  "Well, I think I can manage being your friend, too."

  Monty actually snorted at my pun and sent me a side-eye. A tiny grin poked his teeth out.
  "That sucked, darl.'"
  "Still got you to smile, though," I pointed out warmly. Monty quickly mustered his lips back into its usual scowl, making me chuckle. "You gonna tell me what's up?"  
  Monty's face tightened. I backed off.
  "No? That's all good," I shrugged as I childishly swung my legs over the edge. The first thing I learnt from Arty was never to push when it came to his charge.
  The performance from the atrium's stage was pushing through the speakers, replacing the usual Gator Golf background music. Monty's bass solo was successfully replaced by Bonnie shredding it on the drums, and I noticed the way the gator sunk into himself more the longer the song went on.
  "I meant what I said about not letting anyone do anything to you," I said.
"An' I meant what I said about ther' bein' folks with more power than you," Monty muttered and I felt my shoulders weigh down under his words. He sighed through his snout and fixed me with a stare. "M' sorry."
I blinked. "What for?"
"For sayin' those things 'bout ya t'Fazbear."
"Oh," I said in surprise. "Hey, man, it's alright. I know you're just trying to get under Freddy's skin. But... maybe don't do that anymore."
Monty huffed as he returned to watching the guests mill about below. "Or maybe I jus' don't mention you. Never seen 'im like that before."
"Yeah," I sighed as I thought back to the claw gouges in the wall that had left Mandy shocked dumb yesterday morning. "I figured."

  Monty pulled his legs out from under the rails and stood with a sigh. He stretched, or replicated one, and his body clacked as metal joints scraped against one another.
  "Dunno what spell ya put 'im under, but it's startin' t'freak the girls out," Monty mentioned as his arms dropped back down. I stared up at him with a frown. "I know Bunny's always on th' bear's side, but he'd follow him off a damn cliff. Doesn't see what Freddy's lil crush on ya is doin' to th' band."
  "I'm trying," I said. "I've never really had to deal with a robot being attracted to me before, so I'm sorry if I'm being a bit novice."
  Monty grunted through his teeth. A child's laughter floated up from the golf course below and his eyes glanced down at the source of the noise.
  "Ya wanna play a couple a' rounds?"
  "I'll kick your giant, metal ass."
  Monty's eyes jumped back to me with a hearty roar of a laugh. I scowled lightheartedly at his doubt.
  "Yer on, lil' lady," he chuckled. "Lead th' way."
  I did not, in fact, kick Monty's giant metal ass. In fact, he pummelled my own fleshy ass instead. Not that either of us were surprised; his scores were straight holes-in-ones (very reminiscent of Bonnie's clean sweeps each time we bowl) while mine were at varying levels of success.

  "Ya need some more practise," Monty mentioned as he watched me spectacularly fail a shot and sent the ball into the water hazards while nonchalantly leaning on his specially made golf club. I rolled my eyes.
  "Not everybody can be as good as the mighty Monty," I grumbled. He chuckled, only to give a quick, useless shout in warning a split second before my head got thwacked in the back by a wayward golf ball.
  I yelped in pain, as you do when you get hit by a golf ball, and swore that I saw stars dancing across my vision. The headache from the day before had returned with vulgar vengeance, causing tidal waves of pain to go thrashing like a beached fish through my head.
  "Oi!" Monty shouted at who I assumed was the suspect as I dropped my club and cradled my bruise. "No swingin' over ya' knees, y'imbecile! Look what ya did!" He angrily snorted through his nose when the person called back in apology before turning to me. "Dang, lil' lady, that was quite th' hit. Ya good?"
  "That fucking hurt," I hissed under my breath. The tip of Monty's tail tapped my ankle in warning.
  "Watch yer language."
  "Shut the fuck up," I groaned. My eyes peeled open and found my vision to be madly blurry. "I feel dizzy."
  "Ah, shoot." Monty placed his club aside and guided me back through the course. "Are ya gonna die?"
  "What? No? Why would you ask that?" I queried incredulously. He shrugged.
  "I dunno," Monty answered. "But Fazbear's stressing out on the communications link t' high heaven."

  I pulled myself to a stop. Headache be damned, I managed to pull a somewhat stable glare at the towering gator.
  "You told Freddy?" I hissed.
  "I don't have muchova choice," Monty replied with a deadeyed stare. "Every breach of health an' safety gets automatically broadcasted t' th' system."
  "One day." I ran my hands down my face and winced at the throbbing of my head. I could almost already hear Freddy's footsteps. "I just want one day where things are normal here."
  Monty's red eyes slowly drifted to the entrance to Gator Golf and I reluctantly followed his gaze. Low and behold, Freddy was there, anxiously scanning the course before locking eyes with me.
  "Good luck," Monty grunted. I shot him a withering glare.
  "Y/n!" Freddy exclaimed in worry as he rapidly approached, ignoring the golfing children who called out to him in joy. Monty rolled his eyes at the uncharacteristic bear. "I heard what happened. Are you alright?"
  "I'm fine, Freddy," I sighed as I began to make my way to the course's exit. Freddy followed close at my heels. Monty trailed after. "It's just a little bruise."
  "Have you applied ice?" Freddy asked. His hands bobbed at his chest as they fretfully fiddled, as if holding himself back from pushing back my hair to assess the damage himself. I really wasn't in the mood to get coddled. It hadn't even been a day and he was already back to being weird.
  "I'll be fine," I insisted. My tone was sharp and yet Freddy continued to hover beside me as I stormed towards the exit.
  "But Y/n, you must ice-"
  "Stop it," I ordered.
  "But head injuries-" Freddy pressured.
  "I'm fine, my head is fine-"
  "Please, Y/n, just let me-"

  "God, Michael, just leave me alone!"

  Freddy came to a halt just as I did. I staggered, stung by my own Freudian slip, and Freddy watched me with wide eyes. He was completely dead still. 
  Panic seized me quickly, toppling my foundations like the fall of Rome. It grabbed me around the throat as I realised the full duality of my grave mistake.
  One; I had called Freddy Michael.
  Two; I finally figured out that Freddy wasn't just filling the gap. He was slowly becoming an unhealthy replacement for Michael.
  My stomach twisted uneasily. This wasn't good, this was far from good. I didn't need a replacement for Michael; I just needed him forgotten, gone for good, entirely out of my life - as impossible as it may seem.
  What, did the next nice person who brought me coffee and knew that I didn't like beans in my burritos immediately become a new Michael? Was it just an empty Michael Afton shaped slot that he had left behind? Only to be filled, never to be replaced. Nameless faces. All of them somehow compared to him.
  I didn't need him, I can't need him, because if I admitted that I did, then any sense of self worth that I had painstakingly hand-woven back together over the past eight years would be pulled apart by a single tug on a loose thread.

  "... the hell is Michael?" Monty murmured. Freddy was still staring at me. I was glaring holes through the carpet of the entrance.
  "No one," I said quickly, sharply, hurt. I balled my trembling hands into fists. "He's nobody."
  I hated it. I hated this. I hated the control Michael still had over me. I hated that Freddy, who really was just a poor robot with a slight programming error, had somehow started to worm his way into Michael Afton's slot. It wasn't anyone's fault, and yet all I felt at that moment was hurt and rage and disgust at myself.
  And I did what I did best during those first few years after Michael had left.
  I self-destructed.
  I took it out on the first person I saw.
"You're not my boyfriend, so stop hovering over me like one!" I snapped at Freddy. He flinched at my harsh voice, not expecting the cruel bite. I could feel my entire body shivering and the muffled, lost voice in the back of my head telling me to shut up, shut up, shut up. It's not his fault you're hurting. It's not his fault. Don't hurt him, too.
  Monty stared at me in unusual shock. My rage burst tenfold.
  "God- you're just a robot!" I seethed as tears pricked at my eyes. "Stop being so overbearing! It's annoying!"
  I regretted the words as soon as they slipped from my mouth, but I wouldn't fully recognise that regret until after I had calmed down and realised the severity of what I had done.

  (I would later cry in the shower after I got home, because while admittedly being overbearing, Freddy was still the nicest thing to happen to me in a long, long time)

  Freddy was still for a long, frozen while, staring down at me with unimaginable hurt as I heaved in anger like a rabid, hurt dog. The fire in my head was starting to simmer and crushing guilt had begun to suffocate.
"I... understand," he quietly said, hurt colouring his words. I winced at the look his face had curled into. I was a monster.
   Freddy quietly nodded to Monty in acknowledgment and walked away.
  I watched him leave, still battling between guilt and fury. When Freddy's figure fully left my line of sight an intense wave of exhaustion settled heavily over me.
  "What th' hell just happened?" Monty asked after a few beats of silence. He was staring at me incredulously, as if taken aback that some puny human could rival his rumoured anger.
  I stumbled back against one of the fake trees and, panting in shock, held my face as pained and regretful fears began to consume me like fire.
Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Why did I do that?

  "I fucked up big time," I crooned.