One Month Later..

Khushi had avoided coming to this house till now , this place held memories of Arnav and she wasn't ready to revisit them . Yet her sister  happy news meant the Gupta family had to visit in person .

Today morning , her papa got a call from her sister and told their parents the good news , Khushi was going to be an aunt soon and her mind should be focused on the said happiness instead she was nervous and worries to meet Arnav again .

Her parents understood her hesitance and said it was okay if Khushi didn't come with them, but kind of sister she would be if she failed to be absent for everything important in her sister's life , so she made her way into the house and was so fortunate to have Arnav's family treat her just the same.

No one , not even Payal's mother in law said a word against Khushi because just like her they were all happy about the new baby. Her sister was practically glowing and her brother in law was constantly hovering beside her, inspite of the teasing he earned from everyone.

And then everyone laughter faded and she knew he was here , first she had been relieved to know he was still at work but  the time out was over and Khushi was relived to see her parents and aunt greet him warmly as well.

They were family bound by marriage of her sister and her brother in law , Khushi refused to let her broken heart make things hard for their family. And no one said a word about the silence between them.

After few minutes of polite greeting , he walked back to his room and everyone slowly got back to their cheerful mind set and Khushi hated that he had to leave for her sake. And yet made herself focus on anything except him.

" How are you Khushi beta? " Arnav's Nani words were the first question about her broken engagement even if it was an indirect way of asking and Khushi didn't know how to answer the question. So remained silent instead.

" Marriage scares him and I thought pushing him to do so by my sheer adamancy will make him accept it, I never expected him to be happy about it because this is like getting a kid into the bicycle for the first time to teach how to ride. I had hoped once he had realized he was nothing like his father and if married to a patient wife , he will learn to be less scared of it and with time , he will even realize I did it all for his good.

That was why I choose Payal beta for him , then my match making plans went awry and he met you.  Because human make mistakes , I never thought about any other outcome then the one I wanted , like getting my grandson married had been my goal , it was out of concern for him ,that I don't want him to be alone .

But I failed to see how it would affect you , to marry someone who doesn't want to get married . I was happy and hopeful when Arnav agreed to marry you , delighted when he was in love with you and yet if my grandson can't get over his fears and chase after you until you take him back , then it will be his loss and you got no blame in it " Nani finished speaking and Khushi realized it was her way of saying she understood Khushi and was on her side.

And yet Khushi realized that Nani had accepted his fears as it is and believed it will go away with time , but why didn't Khushi ever think like that why did she wanted him to be over it just because he wants to marry her.

Yes , she never wanted Arnav to marry her because there was no other way but she had also expected him to trust them  enough to believe their marriage would be happy and was affronted that he still had doubts.

Yet Khushi failed to see that he had been willing to meet half way with her , he was willing to give the Marriage a try in spite of his fear but Khushi had asked for more than he was ready to give and maybe they could find a middle ground .

Because years may go on , but Khushi knew her heart will always love him . So it was upto her to fight for their happiness and so did he , she wasn't going to allow him to give up on them as well. 

So when Anjali di was trying to get dinner to Arnav's room , Khushi volunteered to go instead , everyone in the family looked concerned but none voiced out a complaint , so she carried the tray to his room wondering the tiny seed of hope she held now will take root and she could make their relationship work.

                ******************

Arnav shouldn't have come home tonight , his office room seemed Mich better solution than standing in his room while he knew she was in his house , this was supposed to have been their room.

Arnav had never thought about Marriage after his parents death ,his mother died because his father broke her heart and betrayed his marriage vows and so he had been sure that letting anyone into his life would break their heart.

Yet he laid down the rules to all of his casual girlfriends and if they seemed to want more , he would break up with them .And similarly they would break up with him too if they realized he was not going to change the rules.

And he was okay with it , because  he never wanted to cause anyone the same pain , his father caused his mother but for all his well plan rules, he had hurt her and she had hurt him , standing few feet's beside her and unable to talk with her was like a nightmare.

He broke almost all of his rules once he met her, he had been willing to marry her even if he had been scared and yet he can't blame her either. She wanted more from him as well , and in spite of how much he wanted to get over his fears , he had been unable to do so either .

A pair of footsteps caught his attention , as he turned around to see her walking inside his room . He was going to have a word with his family , they should never forced her to walk into his room, it all started because of their match making plans and yet even now they were sending her to his room hoping for reconciliation and it wasn't fair for her.

" Keep the tray and Leave Khushi " Arnav answered back , because he did want her inside this room .

He had spent the last few weeks dreaming about all he lost as well , before Khushi , he never thought of sharing his life with anyone. But after he lost her , those tiny glimpse of life with her always flashed before him .

When he see Payal greeting Akash after work , he inadvertently imagined Khushi greeting him , when he wake up , he had imagined how it would feel to wake up to see Khushi face right beside him , and most of those tiny glimpse centered around in this room.

And so her in this room was a bad idea , because it was too much like his dreams . But she wasn't leaving and when he turned to look at her , she seemed angry at him as well.

" We need to talk " She spoke up and he expected it must be something along the lines of how he need to act better around his family or how he should tell their family no more match making , but what she said instead left him shocked.

" Tell me why it scares you ,Marriage I mean , I know you said about it several times but just tell me one more time , I need to know and well honestly I deserve to know what fears kept us from being happy " Khushi spoke up as she sat down on his bed as if she had all the time in the world.

At the moment seeing her in his room and his bed , nothing scared him about having her as his wife but it was never really about him .

" My Parents were a love Marriage , child hood friends turned to be lovers , I remember how my mother used to tell us their stories , she build my father like a hero and when she learnt about his betrayal , it had been too much for her . And I and my sister lost our parents because of it.  I don't trust myself Khushi , I earned the name  ASR by being ruthless in business and some day that part of me will appear in our life and you will be hurt , My Dadi used to say I am too much like my father after all . " Arnav spoke up , while he had been happy to live with his Nani and uncle family after his parents death .

He and Anjali di visited their Dadi often in her home town, and she had always seen her son in him , his nani used to say it was his grandmother way of grieving for his son , to find Arnav and liken him to her son , kept him alive in her memories but to Arnav it was like a cruel reminder that he may hurt those who love him.

" You are not like your father, and also I know humans are capable of learning from experience ,you know what happened because of your father actions , so no you will never do as he did Arnav and I know what it means to lose my parents at an early age and I will not do the same to our kids if we had them  .

I get your fears , don't think I am over ruling them , future will always remain uncertain but you equating us  with your parents is not how it will work either . It was wrong of me to expect you to over come all your fears just because you love me " Khushi answered back as if she was willing to be Patient with him all over again .

And he couldn't love more than at this moment when she was accepting him with all his fears and yet he had learned something during this months as well that he had been wrong to give anything less than how he felt about their marriage.

He had only let her see the fears he held and never the hope or happiness , he felt at the prospect of being married to her . So in a way she had been right to worry his heart wasn't in it because he let those fears rule him but not anymore , not when he could see her fighting for them even now.

His Khushi took the first step and walked inside his life again , even when he had broken her heart once , she was right that she wasn't like her mother , he had hurt her once and yet she was willing to give him another try because she was strong enough to believe in them .

When all he believed till now was the inadvertently one day he will fail her ,but in truth it already happened , he let her down once and yet she was willing to work it out .

" Marriage isn't set once you tied the knot Arnav , it a journey of life time . Each day you will learn something new about your partner which you may like or not, but it was loving them and willing to work out their differences . And it was all worth it " his sister told him years back when she had been angry on her husband for something and forgave him the moment he said sorry and Arnav was upset on her behalf.

And Arnav realized it was time , Khushi  saw more than just his fears as well , he always told her only about his fears and hatred for marriage because it kept them safe or so he imagined only to realize by keeping a part of him hidden , he had her kept her out of his happiness as well .

                    *****************

When Khushi marched inside his room , she expected a talk , she expected talking about it again would somehow bring the clarity and somehow after months they will find a way and yet all it did was nothing.

She asked him , what he was afraid of and he told her and as she told him , she understood his fears and may be accept that it will always be part of him . Because as his Nani said , those fears were rooted from a childhood horror at seeing his mother die in front of him . It would always be part of him , his parents death .

And understanding better didn't help either , because she was at loss on what do next . And his silence was confusing her as well , life wasn't a movie   that suddenly everything become clear, her mind was still confused and their future remained uncertain as ever.

Then he spoke up and just like that her attention were diverted back to him , he shared the brief glimpses of his dream about her . The moments he dreamed of her in this room with him . 

" I wanted to add a bookshelf to this wall because I know you have more books , and I wanted to upgrade our kitchen ,so you can cook to your hearts content and always each changes I imagined in the house , it comes with a glimpse of you and me on that part of the house smiling at each other ,just being with each other and some of them were rather naughty moment between us .

Everywhere I looked in this house , I saw you Khushi , that I thought it was symptom of heart break , a symptom that since I lost you , I have been imagining your everywhere . The truth was different, I had imagined those moments , dreamed those moment because it is what I want with you .

I already dreamed up our future and when you said No to the proposal , I allowed it to sweep into my life because I dared to dream again . Since imagining those moment won't hurt you in reality , Marrying you scared me because I was worried I would hurt you , but even after breaking up with you , I allowed myself to dream those moment because that is what I want , a lifetime with you . 

When you walked inside this room carrying the tray , for a brief moment I had assumed it was a dream as well because that is how much I have envisioned in this room , and in my life " Arnav finished speaking up and Khushi could only stare back at him

This was what she had been waiting for so long , to see the excitement and happiness in his face at the prospect of married to her and she had failed to see it behind his fear and for the first time , he had let her glimpse into it with his words , their future.

" When Payal di was sharing the news with our family , I dreamed too , a glimpse of a moment in the future when it would be you and me telling our family the good news . It was so easy to dream it Arnav and when you walked away from the living room without a word to me , it felt like the dream was slipping away from my hands and I didn't want it too " Khushi answered him back , and she saw the moment , her words registered in his mind and he dreamed the same as her and a brief smile flickered across his face as if he wanted the same  future as well .

That night there had been no proposal from Arnav , that night there had been no answer expected from Khushi , that night both of them just spend talking about the future they wanted with each other , the more they talked , the more real it became between them .

They had few disagreement in the dream where Khushi honeymoon vacation was on Paris while Arnav had been on  Hawaii, Khushi movie date was Salman movie , while Arnav wanted to watch no movies . Khushi wanted the room walls to be painted yellow and he said No,  But it only made both of them smile , because those are factors they can work it out because the future suddenly seemed brighter and filled with happiness .

And through out it all , she never saw a hint of fear in his face at their future together . Just happiness and it had been enough to make Khushi , happy as well.

P.S :" That it for now . Let me know your thoughts and feedbacks. Hit the votes if you liked it "

Juanita Reid