Arnav settled into the seat, reclining backwards with a sigh. Looking around, he realised that he was one of the first people to have boarded the plane along with a couple more passengers with special needs who were still getting settled into their places with the help of the air hostesses. He let his eyes close, as he moved into a more comfortable position in the chair. 

For a few minutes, he tried to stop thinking. Thinking made most of the things a lot more difficult for him than they had to be. Thoughts, about his family, about his sister, about his father and the reason that brought him here, made him vulnerable and Arnav hated being vulnerable. 

The take off was yet to take another fifteen minutes and he had been sitting here for more than twenty minutes already. Arnav groaned.

What did you think when you came and boarded a flight forty f**ng minutes early. He could all but curse himself.

After what felt like an eternity, he felt the seat next to him dipping as his fellow passenger for the journey arrived, the girl sitting next to him was busy fiddling with her hand bag. Arnav sighed and began to tie the seatbelt.

"Hello. I'm Khushi." The girl chirped, flashing a big smile to him minutes after the plane had taken off 

"Arnav." He replied disinterested, yet for the sake of courtesy. 

"I know, I've read a lot about you. It definitely sounds crazy, but I never thought I'd ever get to see you like.. this close." Khushi confessed cutely, Arnav smirked slightly, leaning against the seat, closing his eyes. 

"So you're a fan." He stated. 

"The biggest fan." She said proudly.

Arnav chuckled. "You're really cute." He told her 

"So, are you going to The USA?" Khushi asked curiously.

"Wasn't it obvious? It's a direct flight." Arnav informed her.

Khushi blushed, embarrassed. "I.. I didn't mean- I.." She tried to form a coherent response.

"Yeah. I'm going to The USA for a week. To Manhattan." Arnav said, smirking at her flustered expression, amused.

"My grandparents live in Manhattan too! I'm going to visit them." Khushi exclaimed, causing Arnav to let out a small smile at her excitement.

Khushi smiled brightly, and continued to chat the other man's ears off receiving mostly non-verbal or one worded responses from him. Arnav had never been one for a conversation. He didn't even know how to start one, or keep one going. Sure, there were exceptions. His sister, his cousins and his father were the only ones who were exempted from his awkwardness or dislike for lengthy conversations, most commonly because they knew how to hold one with him and when to stop. No one apart from his family had ever had the pleasure of holding a conversation with him that had lasted more than 4 minutes. But here, on a plane journey which was to last for a whole day, he had found another exception to his rule. 

Even though it was mostly one sided, Khushi was talking to him for the last forty five minutes and weirdly enough, he was enjoying her endless chattering. Arnav smiled as he answered another one of Khushi's endless questions, while trying to stifle a yawn.

"Are you tired?" Khushi asked softly. Arnav nodded, "It was a long day." 

Khushi's eyes shone with concern, "I'm sorry, I didn't know.. you should have told me. Mein toh hoon hi aisi.. dus minute se zyaada chup nahi reh sakti. Bahut badi chatterbox hoon.. I'm sorry.. aap please aaram se.. (I'm like this only.. I can't stay quiet for more than ten minutes at a time.. I'm a big chatterbox.. I'm sorry.. You please rest..)" Khushi spoke frantically making Arnav laugh out loud.

"Do you ever stop talking Khushi?" Arnav asked in fond amusement. 

"Sorry. You can take a nap, I'll be quiet." Khushi said innocently, putting a finger on her lips.

Arnav chuckled. "My mom always said, the people who talk so much are the owners of the purest of hearts because they have nothing to hide." He told her. 

Khushi smiled. "You really love your mom a lot, don't you?" She asked.

"How do you know?" Arnav asked curiously.

"When you talk about her, your eyes begin to shine." Khushi informed him.

"She's my best friend. My biggest support." Arnav said truthfully. 

Khushi nodded and smiled at him. "Mothers are like that."

***

A few hours later, Arnav woke up from his nap to find Khushi sleeping peacefully with her head on his shoulder. She held a book loosely to her chest. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, with a few tendrils falling carelessly on her face. She looked so innocently beautiful while sleeping that Arnav found himself staring at her for a moment too long. He reached for her face, tucking the strand of her hair behind her ear, took the book from her hand as gently as he could and kept it in a compartment in front of them. 

Unwillingly, he tore his gaze away from her face and decided to distract himself by watching a movie as long as she slept. He carefully moved into a more comfortable position, trying not to disturb her sleep, and chose a movie to watch. 

Halfway through the movie, he felt Khushi moving. Arnav smiled to himself, keeping his gaze fixed on the screen in front of him.

"Morning sleeping beauty." Arnav said softly.

"Morning. I didn't even realize when I fell asleep." Khushi confessed cutely. "I was reading my book."

Arnav gestured to the compartment in front of her, "Your book is safe. Anyway, it's a good thing that you're awake. It's almost time for dinner." Arnav said.

Khushi nodded. "Now that you've mentioned dinner, I suddenly realize that I'm starving." She confessed.

Arnav chuckled, "So is there something special about your visit to Manhattan?" Khushi asked.

"Not really. I just wanted a few days off from being ASR. A little vacation of sorts." Arnav lied effortlessly. Khushi nodded slightly, "Now you've had your turn with questions. You practically know everything about myself that is worth knowing." 

"Bataaya tha na.. fan hoon aapki. Jo information internet se nahi mil sakti.. woh sab poochne ka rare mauka kaise jaane deti? (I've told you right.. that I'm your fan. I couldn't have left the rare chance of getting some exclusive questions answered about your life that aren't available on the internet.)" Khushi explained to him, making him laugh at her response.

"You're mad. You know that?" Arnav asked with an amused smile. "I'm this way from my childhood itself. Crazy." 

Khushi was looking at him with a goofy smile on her face. Arnav shook his head, "I'm going to miss this, on my way back." Arnav confessed. "I mean.. how are you able to talk like this? Non-Stop." 

"Don't worry, I'll make it a point to see you while your trip lasts. After all, we're going to be in the same city for at least a few days." Khushi said softly.

"I'll be looking forward to seeing you again then." Arnav said.

***

Arnav sat in the balcony of his penthouse with a mug of black coffee nestled between his palms. The property in Manhattan was one of the first things that Arnav had brought with his own hard earned money. Arvind, his father, had offered to help but Arnav had very politely refused him, saying that he wanted to do this on his own. This house had since then been a kind of retreat for Arnav that he took shelter in whenever the world began to overwhelm him. 

The house overlooked an extremely beautiful part of the city and was one of the best places to enjoy a beautiful sunset view from. Arnav sighed, looking at the sky turning a light shade of orange-red. "Another year passed Mumma.." Arnav thought to himself, a sad smile formed on his lips. "I know you're angry." 

Arnav sipped his coffee, the bitter taste of the beverage caused him to flinch slightly. "I know I'm hurting everyone with this behavior of mine. Dad is absolutely right, I'm being a child, but I can't stop mumma. I can't stop being a child. This is the only day that I get to be a child. You are the only one who can explain to me and get me to listen. Get me to stop being a child, but you're not here mumma and I don't want to understand from anyone else. I know that I'm being stubborn but.." A tear escaped his eyes "It's my birthday. It's our day Mumma and I can't just.. You understand right?" 

A gust of wind caressed his face, ruffling his hair. 

Arnav smiled. "I love you Mumma." 

He was just about to go inside, when his phone rang. Arnav took the video call without seeing the Caller-ID.

"Hello?" 

"Are you alright, chotte?" Anjali asked from the other side of the earth (literally)

"Yeah. I reached yesterday. Slept the whole day." Arnav informed her. She hummed in response.

"Dad okay?" Arnav asked softly.

"He's fine. You'll stay the whole week then?" Anjali enquired.

Arnav nodded. "Yeah. Like always." 

Anjali sighed. "Chotte.." 

"Di. I feel bad enough already. I know how much I hurt everyone of you every single year. Please.." Arnav pleaded with Anjali earnestly.

Anjali nodded.  "Take care, chotte." She said softly.

The call disconnected, leaving Arnav surrounded with silence and the company of his thoughts. 

***

It was the morning of the worst day of the year in Arnav's opinion. His birthday, in the past years, he had spent this day engrossed neck-deep in work and this was exactly what he was hoping to do this year as well. He had just freshened up and was about to take his coffee and laptop to the quietest corner of the house when he heard the doorbell from the kitchen. He wiped his hands on the hand towel and went to answer the door.

"Yes? How may I-" Arnav opened the door slightly and was greeted with the sight of a smiling Khushi standing at the doorstep with two boxes in her hand.

"Khushi?" Arnav's eyes widened. "What are you doing here?" 

Khushi flashed him the best of her smiles. "I came here to wish you on your birthday." She said cheerfully. "Look. I brought a cake too."

Arnav staggered a few steps back, "What?-" Arnav stared at her bewildered. "Who the hell told you that it's my birthday?"

"Internet." She supplied helpfully. "I know you're surprised but at least let me come in." 

Khushi looked hopefully at Arnav, and tried to enter the house. "What the hell! How dare you?!" Arnav looked at her incredulously. "What do you think of yourself? I agree we talked on the plane and I.. I got along with you but who the hell do you think you are to come to my house unannounced and that too with a bloody cake?" 

Khushi looked surprised. "I.. thought I-" 

"Did I tell you that I wanted to celebrate my birthday? Did I ask you to come?" Arnav asked her, staring at her coldly.

Khushi stepped back, "I'm.. I'm sorry." She whimpered, a tear slid down her cheeks. "I.. just thought that you would.. appreciate the s..surprise." 

Arnav squeezed his eyes shut. He had terrified her. "Dammit!" 

"I'll.. just- I'll leave. I'm sorry." Khushi said quietly, and turned to leave when Arnav held her arm, freezing her in her place. "Wait. Khushi stop!" 

Khushi stopped, but didn't turn to face him. Arnav sighed, and turned her gently by her arm. Khushi looked down, not meeting his eyes. Arnav took the boxes from her and kept them on a side table. 

"Khushi.. I'm very sorry." He apologized, "Please look at me once." 

Khushi sobbed. "I didn't.."

"Shh.. it's not your fault." Arnav said softly, placed his fingers below her chin and made her look at him. "The problem is with me." 

Arnav gulped audibly, held her gently by her hand and led her inside the penthouse. He made Khushi sit on the couch and sat next to her. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have screamed at you like that." Arnav apologized to her. Khushi looked at him innocently. "I just thought.. a small surprise." She tried futilely to explain.

Arnav nodded. "I know. I reacted very badly. Will you listen to me once, let me explain myself? I didn't mean to hurt you." Arnav asked.

Khushi nodded. 

"My mother died in an accident sixteen years ago, she was out.. shopping for my birthday. I had given her a long list of gifts to get me. A bunch of toys, books and.. everything. Mumma had promised me that she'd get me everything. She was returning.. after the shopping trip.. I  don't know what happened exactly but.. at some point.. her car lost control.. she.. her car.. it fell off a cliff and caught fire.. blasted." Arnav relayed the events in a small voice. "I was ten." 

"Mumma always.. went out of her way to make this day special for me. For as long as I can remember, she was the first person to wish me on my birthday. She'd make a cake, sweets, my favorite dinner. Mom and Dad would get me all kinds of gifts. She was getting me gifts when she.." Arnav added "It was my fault. All of it!"

Khushi held his hand, "Arnav.." 

"I never celebrated my birthday again. I can't.. can't Khushi." Arnav said sadly. "So.. I leave. Every year on my birthday. When I was a kid I used to lock myself up in my room. Away from my family. Now I come here. Every year."

Khushi looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry I barged in like that. I shouldn't have. I didn't know that your mother died.. today" Khushi said apologetically. "I'm really.. really sorry to have..- I knew that your mom died when you were really young, but not that she died on your birthday."

Arnav nodded. The next few minutes, both of them sat in silence. 

"My mother died two hours after my birth, you know. She never really saw me." Khushi said after a long moment of silence. "My father brought me up." 

Arnav looked at her surprised. Khushi smiled.

"She knew that she was dying long before she actually did. Her doctor had warned her that her pregnancy will most likely end in her death." Khushi said. "I ask dad, sometimes why they didn't just abort." 

Arnav listened to her attentively. "What did he say?" 

"He said that mumma couldn't kill me." Khushi whispered.

"So she decided to kill herself?" Arnav whispered incredulously. 

"Dad says, he always knew that she'd do it. The only thing she asked for, from my father when she got to know about her negligible chances of survival, was that he ensures that he never holds me responsible for what happened to her. He kept his promise. Dad always told me that Mom never even thought of terminating the pregnancy even though it could save her life. She'd talk to me for hours, tell me everything about herself in naive hope that I'd know.. I'd remember.. I'd retain." Khushi said with a small smile. "Silly isn't it?:"

Arnav smiled too, "Very silly indeed."

"Dad mourned her for years. He mourns her even today. I mourn her too. I remember her every year on my birthday. Sometimes, I even blame myself for.. what happened. I know she doesn't hold me responsible for what happened but I also know that she understands that this is how I express my grief. I know what you go through every year because I go through the same thing." Khushi said 

"Grief is personal to everyone. You blame yourself for what happened all those years ago. I do too. The thing is, that somewhere deep down, we both know that it's not our fault. If we could control what happened, we'd never let it happen. I'd undo my existence without a second thought if it meant my mother would get to live her life. You'd reverse everything that happened, that led to your mother's death in a heartbeat if that meant your mother will get to live. The truth however is that we can't do that Arnav. We can only live our lives happily now and in future for our family and ourselves." Khushi explained. "That is what our mothers want more than anything else in the world." 

Arnav looked down at his lap, Khushi sighed. "Your father.. and family, what do they say?" She asked

"That I should move on. Like you said." Arnav answered quietly. 

Khushi took one of his hands in hers  "I didn't say that you should forget what happened. I'd never dare suggest something like that. I am only saying that your mother wasn't only related to you. She was related to a whole lot of other people too and they loved her just like you dp. I understand that you are sad.. distraught about her death, but have you ever stopped to think of your father? He lost his wife too didn't he? Now.. the only way he can feel closer to his wife is through his children. You and your sister are the last remembrance of your mother to your father. Do you think he likes it when you blame yourself for something that you couldn't even control? Do you think he's happy seeing you beating yourself up for something that isn't your fault? My situation is different, but you're spent ten years worth of life with your mother. When you were born, the day must've been such a happy day for both your parents. Both of them would have been on cloud nine. Right?" Khushi asked softly.

Arnav nodded. 

"You have all the right to mourn your mother on her death anniversary, but in the twenty four hours of that day, can you not take out twenty four minutes and smile with your family and be a part of their happiness because even though they lost someone precious on this day, they had gained someone equally precious on this very day too. Am I not right?" Khushi asked. "Can you not be happy for the sake of the memories of those ten years. Those ten birthdays that you spent with your mother." 

Arnav looked at Khushi, tightening his hold on her hand. "I can't.. without her." He shook his head. "I.. just-"

Khushi sighed, "I know what you feel right now." Khushi whispered soothingly. "I promise that I do."

Arnav looked sadly down at his feet. "Please leave, Khushi. I want to be alone." 

Khushi nodded. "Just answer one last question of mine and I'll leave you alone." 

Arnav grunted in displeasure but nodded. "Do you think she's happy today?" Khushi asked 

Arnav frowned, "What do you mean?" 

Khushi closed her eyes, composing her thoughts. "Your mother, in her very last moments, was trying to make you happy. Do you think, do you honestly think that your mother is happy today, seeing her son like this, sad, distraught, guilty?" Khushi asked 

Arnav didn't reply. Khushi waited for him to respond, but when no response came, she spoke.

"I'm not saying that she'll be unhappy because you're grieving for her, as I've said before, grieving is your right but the way you're grieving her, is not healthy.  You're here, thousands of miles away from home, away from the people who are just as much a part of your suffering as you are of theirs. You are here in a different part of the world, suppressing your emotions, hiding your grief, your pain, your anguish from the people who can genuinely help you get through this. I know it's not easy to let go, but holding on is going to do nothing but hurt you." Khushi explained patiently.

Arnav took a shuddering intake of breath, Khushi bit her lip painfully, as she watched the tough exterior of ASR crack into pieces, revealing the broken Arnav hiding behind. "You need to cry Arnav." Khushi said "You need to express your pain and let it out." 

Arnav shivered, involuntarily. His breathing was turning slightly laborious. "Khushi." He breathed out her name, as if begging for her to do something, anything to make it stop hurting so damn much. 

"I'm right here." Khushi assured him, cupping his right in her soft hands. "You're not alone. I promise you that." 

Arnav let out a sob, tears started to run down his face- "Mu-maah" He sobbed, his cold and unaffected facade crumbling to pieces as he cried, cried for what he had lost all those years ago, for what he had disregarded all those years after. After years of holding back his tears, hiding his pain, suppressing his emotions he finally let it all out. He cried, screamed and wailed remembering his mother's smiling face and also his family's sad, distraught and helpless faces as they tried, unsuccessfully, to get him to open up about his emotions. 

They had tried to help him all those years ago, they were still trying, but were failing miserably every year because Arnav didn't want them to know..

After what felt like an eternity, Arnav's loud wails were slowly turning into soft, inaudible sobs. Khushi still sat right next to him, he was holding on to the fabric of her dress tightly, as if letting go would make her vanish. Khushi's hands were locked securely in the messy locks of his hair that she was caressing gently as he cried in her arms. 

"Are you feeling better now?" Khushi asked softly, still running her fingers through his hair comfortingly. 

Arnav looked up, his eyes were red and swollen, his face drenched in tears. Khushi's eyes were slightly moist too, but she smiled in his direction as soon as he looked up at her. 

"Never-"

"You've never cried. I know. That is why I wanted and encouraged you to cry today. When we're younger, we don't understand the concepts of life and death or what they represent, so the pain is not expressed the way it should be. It turns into anger, stubborn anger and stays buried deep inside you when it should've just left you making you lighter. When we're kids, our parents stop us from crying, although they have their reasons for that and they're most commonly right too, but sometimes, in order to stop hurting, you just need to cry. When the grief doesn't find an escape, it accumulates and at times becomes a part of us in such a way that you forget that it's not actually a part of your existence. You didn't completely realise what exactly was happening when your mumma died all those years ago, so you didn't cry because you didn't know. Later, when you understood, when you realized, when you acknowledged, you couldn't cry because you thought that if you will, then it'll hurt your family so you didn't because it's better to go through this alone than to drag all of them in this unending well of agony with me." Khushi said, causing Arnav to look at her bewildered. Khushi smiled. 

"You could only cry today because.. maybe you know me the least of all the people who've tried to get you to open about all of this and you can't be worried about hurting me if you showed your true feelings and emotions to me."

"How?" 

Khushi sighed. "I am a psychiatrist's daughter and a future psychologist myself." She told him "I thought I had mentioned about my father being a psychiatrist at some point in the flight." 

"It.. must have slipped my mind." Arnav confessed. 

"Besides, I've had to deal with something similar and had to get help." Khushi added, almost quietly.

Arnav smiled sadly. Khushi shook her head. "But that's not important right now. What's important is that it's your birthday." Khushi said cheerfully. "And I've brought a cake and a gift." 

Arnav chuckled. "You're crazy!" 

Khushi nodded. "I know."

Arnav closed his eyes. "Mumma will be happy if.. I celebrate, won't she?" He asked 

"She'll be ecstatic and more than that, she'd be proud of you." Khushi assured him. 

"Thank you Khushi. Maybe if you hadn't shown up today.." Arnav sighed. Khushi smiled. "Don't thank me. We're friends and friends do stuff like that for each other." 

Arnav smiled, cupped her face and kissed her forehead. "You're different. Thank you." 

Khushi smiled. "Go and wash your face. I think its high time that Arnav Singh Raizada finally celebrates his birthday with his family." She said. "I'll take the cake out of it's box, get some candles.." 

Arnav nodded. "The kitchen is that way, you'll find matches in the drawer in the right compartment next to the stove." Arnav guided her towards the kitchen and rushed towards the bathroom to make himself a little presentable.

***

Half an hour later, Arnav was chatting with his family over a skype call, Khushi was sitting next to him, answering the numerous questions of the family about how this change came to be. Khushi laughed, calling him a Laad-Governor and mock scolding him for his stubbornness. They talked for a while, Arnav cut the cake with the family and Khushi singing the HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG. The Raizadas had taken a quick liking of the girl who had managed to convince their son to celebrate his birthday after years.

"God bless you darling. You've done something that seemed impossible for us to do." Arvind said gratefully. "You're an amazing person and my son is more than blessed to have found a friend in a person like you." 

Khushi blushed. "I've done nothing special sir." She said 

"You have Khushi. The fact that you're not even taking credit for what you've done is a proof of your pure heart. Thank you Khushi." Arvind spoke softly. "May god fulfill all of your wishes my dear." 

Khushi nodded, smiling. 

Arnav gave her a small smile too, mouthing a quiet Thank you to her.

***

Family is a very important part of everyone's life but sometimes, strangers or friends end up helping you out of a situation that family couldn't. Sometimes, we end up expressing ourselves better in front of a practical stranger than we do in front of family. 

Khushi came in his life as a stranger and understood him, helped him like no one had ever managed before. Arnav could never have done this with his family for he was too protective of them, too scared to hurt them with his pain but with Khushi, there was a strange ease. 

Sometimes, all we need is a little push, another chance, just one more assurance and we can brave the world. Sometimes, we don't need a bunch of people with us, we just need that one friend who'd understand, who'd care. Who'd come to our aid. Sometimes, one meeting with a person turns out to be the starting of a lifelong relationship, an unbreakable bond, sometimes a total stranger would know just what to do to make you a little happier and he'd do it.. just for the hell of it!

Just like Khushi did. She knew, she understood and she acted on her instinct. She did what she had to in order to ensure that her 'friend' would be a little happier. She made him see things from another perspective, a wider perspective,  a brighter perspective and made him realize how his grief was affecting his family's and his own life and made him realize that things needed to change and helped him do it, not because she was getting something out of it but because she knew why the change was important. 

This is not a story of romance. (Maybe it is but not visibly) It's about friendship. About selfless, unconditional care. Maybe, in future there'll be an ArShi where these two are in love and happy but for now they're just ArShi. Two friends. There's Khushi and there's Arnav and there's mutual respect, care and support between them. There's a budding relationship that's yet to take its full form but is off to a great start. 

After almost nine months I've written a one shot. I don't know what has gotten into me, but yeah. So this OS is to celebrate a very important person in my life. Mitu di, this one is for you!

Happy birthday Mitu di. I'm hoping that even though there's not a lot to do, but you're able to celebrate your special day in some way or the other. I hope that you're safe and happy with your family. May god bless you with the happiness in the world, may have all the things that are best for you. May this year be the best one that you've had so far. (2020 is cursed but not for you?) I hope you're smiling when you read the shot and.. hope you're able to enjoy it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ❤ Mitalchauhan8

I hope that you'll enjoy this story.

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