I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me

Nate was use to being alone, now. He was use to the empty house that he had once shared with the love of his life. He wasn't really all that bothered by the rain that so often beat on the roof.

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me

Nate had always been pretty in tune with his emotions. He wasn't like other guys. Crying did not threaten his masculinity what so ever.

So, whenever he felt the need to, he just let it out. Living without Amaya was hard. Letting her go back to her own time period was even harder. He'd wanted them to stay together forever, even though he knew that wouldn't be possible. He knew from the start.

Ray tried to tell him. He told him she had a destiny. Nate knew she'd have to go at some point, but moving on was hard. It still upset him that he'd have to keep going on without her, even if he had been preparing for this for a while...

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

Most days Nate walked around the Waverider, saving the time line and stopping annacranisms and abberations with the rest of the team, just pretending he was okay.

He thought that, maybe, if he could convince himself he was fine without Amaya onboard, he might actually be okay some day. But not even that was the hardest part.

What hurts the most was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

The hardest part was walking away from her. He had so much to say.  It hurt that he'd never get to tell her just how much he actually loved her. It hurt, watching her walk away from the jump ship.

And never knowin' what could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurt the most was never being able to know what could have been. What would have happened if they'd found some way around her destiny, if she had stayed?

Would they have gotten married? Had kids? Grandkids? Would they have grown old together? Died together? But now they'd never know if they could have any of that. She was gone forever. All he ever wanted, all he ever tried to do was to love her. And now she was gone.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it

No matter where she went or what she did, Amaya felt the sting of pain her heart. She couldn't escape it. She missed Nathaniel. The pain was unbearable.

But she delt with it. It was hard to move on. Everything reminded her of him and the time they spent together. But she did move on.

Because she had to. She had yo move on a fulfil her destiny. Time was more important than love, anyway, wasn't it?  

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

When she met with her old friends and family, Amaya usually had to force a smile on her face. She couldn't let them see how much pain she was really in. She had to pretend she was happy. Maybe someday she really would be.

But the truth was, she felt so terribly alone without the Legends. Especially Nathaniel. It was hard to believe there was a time when she loathed them all.

Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

It was so hard to even get up in the morning, to get dressed. The only reason Amaya bothered to wake up in the morning was because she had to take care of her family. If it wasn't for them she probably would have just laid in bed forever, until she perished. She regretted leaving the Waverider, leaving the Legends...leaving him.

If Amaya could do it over now, she wouldn't have left. She didn't care about her destiny. The importance time line paled in comparison to the way she felt about Nathaniel. And if she were to do it over again she would have made sure he knew that....But now it was too late.

What hurts the most was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

The most painful thing was remembering when he left her there at Zambesi, when he was walking back to the jump ship to leave.

She remembered trying not to cry and failing. She remembered wanting to run after him, wrap her arms around him, and kiss him one last time. She remembered wanting to beg him not to leave her, insist he could stay with her. But she didn't. She knew he couldn't.

Amaya had so much to say to him. She couldn't even remember if she had properly told him she loved him. Now, she'd never get the chance.

And never knowin' what could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do, oh

Amaya had seen many battles. She had gotten many wounds, including gun shots, stab wounds, and burns from fire. None of that hurt has much as leaving Nathaniel.

She wished she knew what could have been. Would she have been happier, had she stayed onboard the Waverider? Or were she and Nathaniel just destined to fall apart to begin with? After all, it seemed that fate was a cruel thing that always wanted to drag her down. Maybe she would have experienced this heart break no matter what precautions she took to avoid them.

She had first loved Rex Tyler. Then, he died. Amaya didn't think she could ever move on from that. Not until she met Nathaniel. He showed her the light in the darkness. He made her happy once more, when she was absolutely certain she'd never find happiness again.

Now, here she was...alone once again. Love, it would seem, was something Amaya wasn't allowed to have. But she had tried anyway. She had tried and all she got was nothing but pain and suffering.

What hurts the most was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

They had been so close. They were so close to being together properly.  They still had so much to say, things that could never be spoken now. All they had was that last memory, watching the other walk away. There was nothing else left.

And never knowin' what could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was trying to do

They'd never know what could have been. They'd never grow old together. They'd never have children together. They'd never be able to love each other. They were destined for pain and loneliness; they were only trying to love each other... 

That's what I was trying to do, ooh