A/N: Hey! So, no update on any big stories yet, but we've got a two parter one shot/song fic here so...that's something. The first part here we have Sara's point of view and Monster by Skillet. Part two will be Thea's point of view and Animal I have Become by Three Days Grace. Enjoy!

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it

Sara Lance had always been a strong, independent woman, even before nearly dying on the Queen's Gambet and getting stuck with the League of Assassins. But she had a lot of baggage. Things that she would never let anyone see, not even Oliver or Laurel. Most days she was able to hide it, but sometimes -- especially after coming back from the dead -- it was impossible to hide. And now that her sister was dead...She just couldn't control the blood lust anymore.

So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

She really wanted to be normal, fall in love, have kids. Whatever normal women her age did. But that was never going to happen. Not if she was always fighting to keep herself in check, struggling not to kill. It was just better that she kept everyone at arms length. For their safety.

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it

The best way Sara could describe was a monster. It lived inside her, right along with her own soul...assuming she even had one at this point. Had she really gotten it back?

When the monster took over Sara couldn't control it, no matter how hard she tried. The monster woke up, and Sara blanked. She wasn't in charge of her body. All she could feel was pain and anger, and the monster took over. It scratched on the walls of her sanity, tour through her closet of secrets, and stormed through the halls of her regrets.

Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head

No matter where she went, she could never escape it. The monster followed her every where. At night, she swore -- if it had been a real figure rather than just her imagination​ that is -- that it was hiding under her bed, just waiting for the next chance to take over her body.

It was all in her mind, she knew. But still. She couldn't escape it. The need to kill, to urge to take a life. It was a constant weight on her shoulder that she'd never be able to get rid of.

Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

Sometimes, Sara wished someone would just appear with some magical answer to solve all her problems. She just wanted it all to end.

But she knew that would never happen. She wasn't a princess locked in a tower. There was no knight in shinning coming to her aid. Besides, even if that was the case, she would be far too much for the poor knight to handle.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Just beneath the skin, the blood list was there. Deep within. It was a constant nagging, Sara never really got use to. Especially when she was face to face with Damien Darhk.

Most days she could handle it. She could pretend it wasn't bothering her all that much, but as soon as she was left alone to contemplate her life...Well, in all honesty she just felt like a monster.

I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

She was naive. She knew this was only the beginning of the nightmare that she called her life....And she hated it.

It wasn't that she wasn't grateful to her sister for bringing her back or anything. It was just...the blood lust. It had turned her into a monster. And she hated it, what she had become.

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Then again, maybe it wasn't the Lazerus Pit that had turned her into a monster. Maybe she had always been one. She just didn't know it, until the bit had awoken it.

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it

It was a secret. Sara would have liked to keep it under lock and key for as long as possible. But that was impossible, because it seemed like one way or another team was bond to find out. And they had. Because she couldn't control it. No cage of denial would be strong enough.

'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

Sara sighed. She wished with all she had that she could get better at hiding it. Because every time she let the monster out, every time her blood lust took over, it tour her up inside. She'd never admit it to anyone, but it broke her down.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Now, Sara was with Ava, and she still felt the pull of the blood lust. Getting trapped in the demon world due to the death totem only reminded her of that. It was still just beneath her skin. And it always would be. She was a monster. And she hated it.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Sara wondered if she'd ever get rid of the feeling. It didn't really matter how many lives she saved, how many times she saved the time line. It was always there. Sara Lance felt like a monster.

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart

She thought about the little girl who's father she had killed all those years ago, when she was still in the League of Assassins. At the time she hadn't felt guilty but now...

Then, there was that time she and Rip went on their solo mission together. She had completely lost it, killing all those men...

Rip had called her an animal, but she knew she was much worse. She was a monster. With razer sharp teeth and claws. A monster that would give no mercy, no matter how one begged.

Putting on the death totem had scared Sara shitless. She'd never exactly admitted, but somehow she got the feeling her team knew that too. She had nearly killed them all. And she probably would have if Ava and Constantine hadn't showed up. The blood lust monster was taking over her soul, crushing her heart.

No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

While she knew her team cared, she didn't exactly think they understood what she was going through. They all bought the cool, confident act. They believed she had everything under control. That she knew exactly what she was doing.

She did not.

In fact, many nights she found herself hoping against all hope that this was all just some big, stupid dream her subconscious cooked up to piss her off. She'd wake up tomorrow, and everything would be fine. Perfectly fine. She wouldn't have this struggle anymore.

But she knew that was only wishful thinking. This blood lust -- this monster -- it was inside of her. A part of her. And it always would be. No one could stop it, no matter how badly she wanted them too.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

So, Sara did the only thing she could. She broke up with Ava, packed up her shit, and left the Waverider. Of course, Ray -- being the innocent child man that he was -- had tried his hardest to convince her to stay.

But he didn't know what it was like. Sara found herself - almost - praying that he never found out. Not someone like him. He wouldn't be able to bare it. He was too pure of heart.

As it stood, there was only one person who could even remotely understand what Sara was going through. Thea Queen. Sara was hoping she wasn't too busy with whatever bullshit Team Arrow was dealing with these days.

Thea had also been through the Lazerus Pit. And while her side effects weren't as sever, she too had felt the blood lust. It was the reason she had joined her brothers team of vigilantes. (It was also the reason she had left.) If anyone understood how it felt to be a monster, it would be Thea.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, here's something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Sara met her old friend just on the outskirts of Star City. On a roof top, in spite of Thea's discomfort. (Since being tricked into murdering Sara, Thea had always been uneasy when standing on roof tops.)

"Hey," Thea smiled wryly, when she spotted the blonde woman. The two women embraced. "You okay? You sounded pretty upset, when you called."

Sara nodded, when they pulled apart. She sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "It's just...The blood lust. I still..." She trailed off, unable to finish. The assassin had faced many threats, many difficulties. But none were quite as hard as this.

"I feel like a monster Thea..." she admitted finally.

The brunette nodded slowly. "I get that," she said. The young girl leaned against the railing of the roof. "Not a lot now, but when I first joined Team Arrow, before I knew there was something wrong with me. I enjoyed the rush of taking some bastards down. But I always got so out of hand..." She paused for a moment. "I felt like a monster too..."

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

A/N: And there we go! Hope you liked it. Also, just wanted to remind those of you who want to partake in the LK competition whilst you wait for the next chapter, you have two weeks to come up with something, starting now! Don't forget!

And for those of you who don't know about that, the details are in the very last part on my story Legend Kids. It's titled Competition. Can't miss it. (I urge you to do it. The more the merrier!)

That's all for now. I might have part two up later tonight or tomorrow. Depending. I have some summer school stuff to do, so...we'll see.

Toodles!

~ Elsie