••||••||••

"No no no, not like that. She is my bride and I want her to wear white dress, just like in that movie."

"Princess! But we don't wear white, it's always red. Bride wears red lehenga in our culture. Just like you'll wear one day."

"I'll be a bride too?"

"Yes, offcourse. And my princess will be the most beautiful bride of this world."

"Just like this doll?"

"More than this doll."

"But bride goes to their groom's house after marriage."

He nodded. "They do."

"Why?"

"Because that's how it is"

I frowned, keeping all my toys, aside, "but I won't leave you anywhere, papa. I won't marry never ever."

Papa laughed.  I didn't crack a joke. But he kept laughing. And picked me up on his lap. I looked at him confused. "I wouldn't let my princess leave anywhere. You'll always be here, with me."

"Okay." Seeing my prince in other hand, "but what about him?"

Papa chuckled, "we'll bring him here, with us."

I grinned. "Oh yeah!"

And I hugged him tightly. He hugged me tightly. "You'll always be my princess"

"Hey Anika, see, Baraat has come! Oh my god, jiju really had come on a white horse. Aww he looks like your knight in  shining armour!"

One of my cousin announced, half of her body inclined out of window, than turning to us, her eyes sparkling with excitement and suprise, she than quickly corrected herself, "No no don't look here, dadi says it's bad for bride to see her baraat."

Mallika, Gauri and few of my cousins were with me, some sitting beside me, beside my dressing table and some excitedly running to the window describing the view.

"Look at them!" Other cousin voiced out, "Rudra, Om, both your devar doing nagin dance and there even your dadi saas is dancing so energetically, today."

"Oh gosh! It's look so grand Anika, trust me I have been to so many weddings" says my cousin, who is  a rich film producer in Mumbai, "but I haven't seen this much big and grand baraat till date!"

They all went on, describing the Royal band, and that Royal horse decorated well, than the groom's side dancing madly, bade papa hugging many of his old friends, than my chacha tau mama, basically all male side of my family doing tilak.

"You okay?"

Mallika looked at me concerned, taking my bangle and ring bracelet and mehendi filled hands in hers, and for thousandth time today, placing my already set dupatta, correctly.

I nodded, my gaze moving to her than again settling on a bride's reflection as was for past forty five minutes, which is a stranger to me, my brain still trying to recognise her.

The woman in front was from head to toe were filled with red and gold. Hair tied in a bun surrounded by a thick gajra. Head filled with a grand golden maantika, forehead filled with designer mehroom  and golden bindi.

Ears felt heavier with big golden earings and left side was even connected to my big curtain ring sized nose ring she has been wearing. Her neck filled with number of gold jewelleries, her mother's own marriage jewellery, her father's gifted pendant. Her hand filled with red bangles, ring bracelets, arms with baju band and waist with a thin silver kamarband. Beneath her lehenga, her mehendi filled feet had thick silver khandani anklets.

And her face, in all today looked, instead of a girl's, instead of her papa's princess or maa's Ani, looked more of womanly. Unrecognisable woman.

How should I recognise her, and connect to me? I don't know.

"Say something Ani, are you okay?"

Mallika called me out, again herself walking towards me. It was than I noticed the room was empty, leaving only us. More like it seems, she has send away everyone.

"I.." I realised now, my dried throat as a result I hadn't spoke for an hour. Clearing my throat, I nodded at her, "I am okay."

"You are so quite."

She said quitely, worry lines evident on her forehead. I really don't know what to say. Marriage is something so big I have perceived till date and now, when I am getting married in another hour, I really don't know my feelings. Else my feet felt a lot colder and my hand sweaty in this dropping temperature.

"You are okay right? Do you want to have something?" She asked me again, watching me carefully.

"I'm okay. Just the wedding nervousness." Hearing me she nodded, in understanding. However I made a request, "keep telling me what's going on there? Please."

She nodded, walking towards the window and leaning towards the edge, "it's seriously, looking grand. Everyone are still dancing and now Om Ru are helping Shivaay coming down...and see there, haww! your zizu, he is there dancing with baratis. I told him he'll be on our side and see, how mazze mein he is now dancing!"

I chuckled, "it's okay, besides your husband, he is his friend also."

"Yeah I guess you're right. Anyways now... Lol Ani, maasi actually held Shivaay's nose, and he looks awkward, Dadi and all are chuckling on him." She laughed.

I remember the same ritual when happened with zizu. Imagining Mr Oberoi there, made me smile slightly.

"Now, there Maasi is doing his tilak. He do have some talvaar in his hand, and now finally all ladkewale entering inside." She told me than coming towards me, she gave me a small smile, "it's not visible now Ani, but anytime you will be called there. Be ready."

It was my one of the hard habit I had left long ago of tapping my foot, whenever I got nervous. And right now, my left feet is continuously tapping against the floor, a sign of impatience and nervousness, I haven't felt in a decade.

I'll be called down sooon.shh calm. Calm. Be calm.

The thought itself made my stomach churn, my heartbeat raising to another lever and my breath becoming much heavier to take with each passing second.

Mallika tried cheering me, but I couldn't. And it only seems getting worse. Thoughts from going to be a wife, a married woman or going to leave my maa or going to entirely new family, the richest family  were ranging to, what if my heels get me slipped while walking to stage or what if  I fall down suddenly or those thousands of gaze only on me...

"Don't. Don't chew your lip. You are going to ruin your lipstick like this."

I stopped, feeling even more nervous, "yaar, I don't know. I think I can't do this. I mean I can but it just seems too much."

Mallika gave me a sympathetic look. Rubbing my shoulder slightly.  "I understand. But you need to relax. It'll be all fine, don't worry."

And again  next fifteen minutes went out of her trying to calm me down.

But truth to be told it didn't help me.

Our door knocked, before it opened,  two girls came inside, giggling and announcing the dreadful moment,  "it's time Anika didi."

It's time. It's time. It's time.

A moment latter, my gaze fall upon the source of my strength and peace. I looked at her, swallowing down the forming lump and with a pleading look I looked at her hopefully .

Maa.

Seeing her, made me want to hug her tightly, hide under her pallu just like I used to do in my childhood and want me to leave everything and walk far away from here, with her.

The weight of shadi's lehenga I felt when I stood up to go infront of maa, she like everytime these days, passed me a small motherly smile and from corner or her eyes she had a little kohl and applied behind my ear. Taking all the balaye.

It was enough for me to, engulf her in a tight hug, and close my eyes feel all her love and warmth that I always feel. That I need the most, now and forever.  She lovingly patted me, her hand roam on my head and there we parted and she looked at me admiringly, just as a mother did when her child was born.

"Meri bachi aaj itni badi hogayi hai, samey kaha beet gaya pata hi nahi chala." She exclaimed, making everyone chuckle and later smiled a little, asking the dreadful question, "chalein? Ab samey hogya hai Ani, jaane ka."

I shook my head hard.

Maa chuckled, and lightly squeezed my hand in assurance just like I do with her everytime. "Chalo ab, you know I'm there with you."

••||••||••

The music from being on heavy bass turned a lot softer, the noise around now turned into small whispering and many flashes flashed on every side of mine.

My feet felt heavy. As I walked under the auspicious cloth, from each side held by Ryan, zizu, chachu and mamaji, with every step making me take in sight of thousands of people, towards the stage, my feet, steps felt heavier.

Calm your nerves!

My gaze remained on this red carpet I was walking on, beside me, I made sure Maa was there. And as a cameraman asked me to look in front I slowly raised my gaze, and I just felt my breath caught at the sight surrounding me.

Both of my side at a little distance were people, some known, some unknown awaiting for me. The beautiful decoration didn't even matter to me, as much as walking without falling mattered this moment.  As I looked in front, my eyes settled on unknown man standing on the stage. Like me in all dulhan dress, he looked unrecognisable in light golden colour sherwani and sehra covering his head.

As I moved forward slowly, carefully, at every step I felt I am being drank through someone's particular eyes. And when for second time I raised my shy eyes up, they stuck there in someone particulars, forgetting a way out of it.

His blue green eyes were on me, only on me.  He was looking with neutral expression on his face but his eyes, they held something unrecognisable. He was looking at me, like admiring the beauty of nature. He was looking like I was the only thing he could see, I was the one only visible to him.  And during our passionate eyelock, he didn't even looked away feeling caught or anything and  I, on my part, felt it was the only thing, calming my nerves that moment. His calm oceanic orbs.

What the hell is going on, I have no idea. But this is something else!

When did I reached this much close to stage, I didn't realise. It was than when Rudra nudged his shoulder with Mr Oberoi's, whispering something in his ear, that seems like made Mr Oberoi came out of his trance and composed himself back, expressions changed back to guarded one. His eyes snapped out of mine and mine back to ground.

One more step, and before I could step on this two stairs stage,  I saw a fair hand, palm with funny scenery mehendi dark brown design,  my name shining  in its glory, being forwarded to me. And despite the tension, the nervousness, the camera, the flashlights and hundreds of gazes on me, seeing his hand made my lips curved upward in a small smile, relaxing my nerves, calming me a bit.

Ever so slowly, I left my grip on lehenga and forwarded my own mehendi,  ring and bracelet filled right hand in his. And oh, his ever so warm hand held mine, the cold ones, firmly. My gaze curious to see, raised up, only to know his own eyes were on me, like they were stuck, like they didn't know a way out of mine.

I moved up, with help of his support, to the first stair without fumbling my feet. But on second stair I felt my heel stuck with my own lehenga and in fear of getting stumbled, my heartbeat raised, I gasped and as my eyes widened seeing his blue one, he ever so swiftly gripped me carefully, securely  by my forearm.

Oh thank goodness!

"Thanks" Silently I said on our way nearby our special sofa seats.

Before Om Ru could come in hearing distance, he  replied for my ears only, "Be careful."

Was it me, or I heard a little warmth in his tone that's always as cold as iceberg, now was that iceberg melting?

Oberoi Ladies soon came by my side, smiling, eyes glittering in happiness,  complimenting me, taking the evil eye off with money roaming over my head and than Mr Oberoi's head too.  Om, Ru, Mallika, Zizu, Ryan as always did playfully argued   over Mr Oberoi and me.

Today, it was weird. All my winters, I had always wear atleast two layers of cloth and today when my waist, back and arms are exposed bare to winters,  I am not even feeling cold in this lehenga. People are saying, talking things and it was like robotic, and not only for me, I feel Mr Oberoi too feels the same, we were robotically replying 'yeah' 'thankyou' 'you too'.

It was than, Maa and badi maa shushed all of us, both of them indicating towards a big silver coloured plate, containing beautiful flowery garlands. Thereafter, Mr Oberoi and I faced each other, our both families and relatives behind and beside us.  The people down there watching us, went silent awaiting for Jaimala. In background, even the music went low, only the laughter of playfulness of our cousins and friends topping the noise.

Forwarding the plate, first I was handed over the heavy red roses and white flowery garland and than Mr Oberoi. His hand, looked hesitant yet he took it in a swift without any further  delay in both hands, Om Ru standing on both his side, patting over his shoulder and encouraging.

"Now who will going to put garland first?" a cousin of his asked.

"Offcourse our Ani" Mallika cheekily said.

Rudra snickered, "why not our Bhaiya first?"

Dadi came forward, patting Rudra's arm,  nodding at my side, smilingly "pehle Anika puttar pehnayegi mala."

My own dadi agreed with her.

"Chal Ani," Maa directed me, her voice was enough supported needed at this moment, "put on the garland."

I swallowed the forming lump, keeping my eyes down at his feet. With much needed strength I raised my gaze, directly stopping in his blue green stormy orbs. A deep breath was all I needed. And I did take, forwarding a step near him, closing the remaining distance and raised the garland to put around his neck.

It's okay. I can do it.

And I raised to finally put around his neck, only to be immediately backed away with garland still in my hands, as he, suddenly was raised by Om Ru, on their shoulder. They both howling at us, Prinku and his Nani, Dadi and almost all the Oberoi Family chuckling. Needless to say, this time Mr Oberoi, himself was taken by surprise. His eyes which had kohl tonight, widened slightly in surprise and mouth agape.

Here I gasped as now I'm suddenly being raised in air, looking at my sides, zizu and Ryan are holding me. Mallika Gauri booed at groom side, praising us that we aren't any less.

However as my attempt to make him wear garland didn't succeed, I saw Mr Oberoi patting Om Ru shoulders and standing up straight, here I was also left on my feet.

He looked at my side, this time stepped closer towards me. From my side, I stepped towards him. Looking at me, ever so slowly he did something, taking not only me but others too in surprise.

For real, he himself, voluntarily,  tilted his neck forward in front of me.

Surprised by his action, for a moment I didn't do anything. As everyone awed, and flashes flashed upon us, my trance broke and I quickly raised my hand and put the garland around his neck.

The petals showered on us, the surrounding filled with encouragement and clapping. Soon before I could realise anything, similar garland was put around my neck.

My head snapped to him, who was looking at me and damn he knows he took me by surprise. Both our head snapped at our families, congratulating us, hugging us and expressing their happiness.

"Dadi" Rudra called out near us, curiously asking, "why varmala ceremony takes place?" 

Dadi smiled at him, lovingly held Mr Oberoi's and mine cheek, explaining to Rudy, "the exchange of garlands gives out the message that both the bride and groom have accepted each other as their life partner,  they have agreed to remain with each other for the whole life."

"And why bride had to do first?" This time Om asked, curious.

My nani than adds chuckling, "bete, the bride offers the first garland, declaring that she has chosen the groom on her own free will."

Badi maa than adds up, her corner of eyes looking at bade papa for a moment than to us, "The groom will then return the compliment by offering her a garland welcoming her to a new life together and promising to look after her. Now you did understand or not?"

Seeing the garlands around our neck, did my soul asked this question to heart, seeing in his eyes, is he the one, who'll look after me for whole life?

••|••|••

Flashes. Lights. Poses. Relatives. Smiles.

"Hello, congratulations to both of you"

"Thankyou"

"How stunning you are looking!"

"Thankyou"

" you both look beautiful, together."

"Thankyou"

"Thank-you for joining us tonight."

"Oh, we wouldn't have miss it for the world."

Not knowing the exact time but for almost two hours went by, people keep coming to stage, congratulating us, complimenting us and posing for the record smilingly and going back down. Formality!

The relative, half of them that came here, I don't even know their names. I was more than happy when my office staff came, congratulated, and their face lit up like a diwali night, seeing me in their designed lehenga. Some of big personalities from business and known tv actors also came. Actually I didn't expect less. But political leaders of national party, it did took me by little surprise. Mr Oberoi, did introduce me to them calmly, smiles exchanged, gifts and wishes given, they went back, before we both went silent again untill some new guest come.

Just now, his some distant cousin Ridhi went by, for once I felt Mr Oberoi do despise her presence for some reason than any other guest. Well, he did despise every single person.

As we were standing alone, infront all over people having handful of snacks or icecream, my stomach growled embarassing me internally. Thank god to loud dj, or otherwise, if Mr Obeori would have heard, that would have damn embarassing. Anyway, now that we are actually left alone, I don't know I should talk or not, what to talk or how to talk. The passionate eyelock we shared before, makes me shut and enjoy our silence very much.

"You hungry?" a cool voice from beside asked me, leaning his head little close to my side.

Well, there goes my relief and the heat of embarassment reddened my already blushed cheeks more.

Looking in front, and than at him I truthfully told him, "well, the fact I am having a fast and people eating all around isn't supportive at all."

"A fast?" He repeated, and as I looked at him, he was looking around us too. "For what?"

"Our marriage." I informed adding, "On our side, bride keeps fast on their wedding day."

His blue eyes looked at my face, I hopped he would mock our custom or call it ridiculous, instead he asked "and what meal did you had last?"

I shrugged, than remember it's heavy lehenga and even shrugging cause irritation. "Um...some fruits in the morning."

"And this fast is untill?" He asked with a slight frown.

"I don't know actually" I shook my head lightly but than smiled seeing him looking me with a crease forming on his forehead, assuring him, "don't worry about me, It's I think until you...baraat came here, I mean until jaimala. I think we will soon be called out for dinner."

Clearing his throat, "I'm not worried about you." He informed, a slight frown forming on his forehead, making my own eyebrows raised. He was not looking at me, but forward, at our guests, he cleared out,  "if you faint down or anything, it would uselessly cause a scene."

Offcourse! What else would you expect from him? Concerned about the image!

"Really?" Sarcastically I told him, "thank god you cleared out, you know  otherwise for a moment I was really worried, that you Mr Oberoi have that beating organ in your body."

"That, Ms Trivedi, everyone has." Like a fact he told me, making me roll my eyes.

Could anyone tell, we both are getting married tonight? Offcourse to each other, for the consideration.

It was now did I take in how devilishly handsome he was looking in sherwani. A golden  sehra on his head, and kohl in eyes makes his face looked a lot different. A good different. His expression, his clothes and posture, everything about him, makes him looking extremely handsome man in this whole place.

When I felt he was about to look this way, I diverted my gaze, otherside. It was now, I had the time to take in all my surroundings, all the feature of this big fat wedding.

I looked in front, searched at least for ending, but it seems it was so vastly spread,  like it's never ending.  I can't even see where it ends. Small, figure of people were visible all over the place. 
At very last which I could see was  a big fountain, circular shaped,  in front, at enterance, colourful effect making it looking a sight of attraction.

On its extreme left  was variety of colourful exotic drinks and on extreme right were starters that waiters now serving everyone here.

Beneath our stage was sofa kept lining up and behind it was different group of ten to twelve chairs with single circular big table, all over. Right now on it, people were sitting enjoying thier ice cream, drinks, starter, coffee in this cold. Mingling with each other.

On one hand was dj, so big that I might think just now hundred of people dancing there. Some voluntarily and other forced up. Our families, that today looked at their best, most handsome and  beautiful here, were dancing with all their energy, expressing happiness in every step.

The ceiling above were filled with lights and in the mid were so big and beautiful chandelier, it adds up to the feature of this royal looking wedding. The walls decorated with minute details. Everything clean and everything thoughtfully creative.

At the back, the see through transparent glass wall showed huge, giant mickey mouse rubbery plaything. Kids were jumping on it, along with there was balloon separately countered, kids are taking as much as they want. Beside this, there were few big swings and slides. The smile and happiness shining over kids face, making the environment twice the happier.

The things I couldn't see  was on other side, a separate passage to enter. I think there was food being served as people were going and coming out from there, with their hands holding  plates filled with dinner.

Still, as much I have known, this is only the half visible to me.

How funny it is, you can't even eat as you desire in your own wedding. And you can't even explore it on your own!

A moment beside me gained my attention. I looked at Mr Oberoi curiously, as with his hands he signed towards someone, at the dj side, where both our families were dancing heartfully and pulling each other for dance, punjabi bhangra, high base songs blaring out of dj. Even though our stage is so far away, the volume and bass of dj is still making my heart up and down.

   A few seconds later, it was Rudy coming running towards us, followed by Om and Prinku. Sweating so much and breathing fast due to dancing.

"For how long will we have to stand here?" Mr Oberoi shooted the question, with bored tone.

"Well you can sit also" Rudy replied playfully, making Om and me chuckle.

Meanwhile Prinku stood  beside me and looking nervously down the stage, at our guest  than at me. She smiled, saying quitely, "Congratulations bhabhi. You look so beautiful."

"Thankyou Prinku." I smiled. "And you yourself look so adorable, saree definitely suits you."

She blushed, looking down and nodding.

"Few more minutes. Our families photo is remaining, Dadi mom, massi everyone is coming." Om informed.

A moment later, Mr Oberoi asked, "and what about dinner?"

"From now only you are hungry bhaiya" Rudra chuckled, and here I looked anywhere but them and I felt Mr Oberoi gaze upon me. "Well, you don't have to wait long, after your photoshoot. It's dinner time."

"And bhabhi," Rudra called, "wow, you look stunning ."

Rudra complimented me for the tenth time tonight with a playful smile. I smiled back, mumbling a silent thankyou.

As Om Ru left, leaving Prinku with us, the photographer asked us to pose. She stood, in between us, looking down mostly. And I  guess Prinku being a camera shy, became so nervous that she held her both hand tightly and balling them, rubbing vigorously.

To comfort her, I moved my hand to held hers, at the same time feeling another hand coming over, brushing with mine. Looking up, my eyes met Mr Oberoi's and I immediately backed away my hand, and straighten up.

Mr Obeori, held Prinku's hand and even tried to reassure her, saying something in her ear, she nodded but still looked tensed.
Meanwhile to make her loosen up a bit, I asked her, only for her ears to hear "hey Prinku"

She looked up at me, "ji bhabhi"

"Have you watched that movie, there were four guys finding some money, in Goa. There was some W as a clue?"

"Huh?" She looked at me confused, now thinking over my words.

"Uh, I just can't remember it's name."

She thought, and than her face lighten up, "I guess...it's dhamaal."

"Oh yeah" I exclaimed, " you know that guy, dim witted one."

"Yep, the funniest one." She said with a smile.

I than making her look in front at the photographer, "Don't you think, that looks just him."

"Bhabhi" Prinku emphasized on my name,  looking at me in disbelief.

I chuckled, "no, just think about it. Even his clothes  looks like him. No?"

Prinku observed closely, than chuckled, nodding  "I think so."

The photographer looked at us confused, nonetheless saying loudly, "Madam, sir pose, please."

And that very moment he sounded like the character we were just talking about. Prinku looked at me, and I at her. Both thinking alike. And we both laughed together, loudly. This time she ignored if someone making video or not, or many flashes over us. I smiled, looking at her relaxed, happy that I could divert her mind.

From corner of my eyes I saw, Mr Oberoi's eyes looking at Prinku with certain affection, a very small rare smile forming on his pink lips. A look of relief and contentment on his face, which actually shows how much he is happy for his sister. How much he loves her.

It made me think, maybe,  Mr Oberoi did have that beating organ in his body.

••||••||••

Our close by families, had already posed and had a photoshoot with us, for another hour. That also includes, photographer making us having all the weird poses, some solo and some together of just us, bride and groom. Needless to say, that was little awkward, when we were asked to put hand around his neck or his on my bare waist. It was Mr Oberoi, with finality and authority in his tone shooed him away.

However, that is over and now everyone is seated around for dinner. All the guest of ours, had actually ate and some of them even left as it's almost about to twelve o'clock. I was actually surprised, didn't even know where the time went away. But my legs did say something else, they were tired of standing up and posing and now wanting rest.

So, now Mr Oberoi and I was seated together on a long dining table. On our both sides were whole family, happily chattering and around us was camera man, camera glued to his eyes. Like seriously? They even want to shoot us now eating?

Everyone talked around, and I little by little felt my nerves of getting married actually calming down with going with the flow. Truth be told, I don't feel like eating, but my stomach churning inside either because of my fast or Mr Obeori sitting close, did told me to eat and calm tummy down if I really do want to sit down for Phere.

Phere

Ah! Don't shoot my heartbeat right now. Don't.

Mallika, zizu, Om prepared our plates, filling it with all kind of food.

Wait.

A correction.

One plate only?

They prepared a large plate, filled with variety of food, kept it in between Mr Oberoi and me. When I looked at Mallika, she just smiled and gave a wink before saying it loud, "maasi"

Maa looked up, who was talking to his dadi, "hm?"

"It was Anika's fast, so shouldn't Shivaay jiju break it with some sweet dish?"

Shivaay jiju?

"Puttar, Anika had fast?" Dadi asked maa, looking confused.

Maa nodded, "ji maaji, our side, bride keeps fast."

"Haye, Anika it's your fast and we didn't even know." Badi maa said, her smile faded. She than ordered, "chlo Shivaay, bechari ko bhuk lagi hogi, jaldi se ye gulab jamun se fast khol do."

Mr Oberoi frowned but calmly nodded at his badi maa. The chattering of our family suddenly minimised, and their gaze fixed on us, as if we are going to perform some magic.

Not going to lie, but all my calmness had jumped out of window and this much people only watching us, made me again swallowed in the lump forming in my dry throat.

Mr Oberoi, picked up a bowl filled with two big gulab jamuns. His eyes, concentrated on cutting it's piece and than tilting his body towards me, he looked up and ever so slowly raised the spoonful.

Infront of everyone, he did that and he didn't even hesitated. Forwarding the spoon to my mouth while with his index finger he kept  my curtain sized nose ring aside.

My mouth automatically opened in a trance, and once he fed me inside my mouth, the spoon in a jiffy was kept back on plate and around us, everyone cheered for him, making it hard for that even small morsel to swallowed down the throat.

"Now Ani, your turn. Come on." Mallika cheered up. With having no option and everyone so excited, I quickly searched for some other spoon. "What are you looking for? Feed him fast, our jiju must be starving."

Thinking it was my used spoon, I went for a tandoori roti morsel, and dipped it in shahi paneer making my tips of finger also messed. Turning to him, I forwarded the morsel, slowly towards his mouth.

His eyes on me, while his mouth opened a little, taking in the morsel with his tongue and in process I felt the warmth of his mouth, tongue touched along my tips of fingers, making me jolt and taking back my hand immediately.

His mouth touched my finger. Oh my gosh. Shit!

The Dinner went on a enthusiastic note. Atleast for our family.  Cheerfully eating dinner, even Mallika and Gauri personally made sure their to-be-jiju have stomach filled food. It was funny actually, Mallika, Gauri every time insisted, "haw jiju, you haven't even touched chole. Have some. And this dahi bhale, they are so tasty. Here, try some. "

And than when he would open his mouth to deny, they would themselve feed him, sometime made me feed, not letting him even complaint.

It still felt weird when he was called jiju for the first time tonight. Was it only me? Naa. Mr Obeori's blank face with raised brows indicates, he feels weird too with this newness.

And the most heartfelt thing? After me feeding him the morsel, he himself picked up my used spoon and ate the rest of his dinner with it.

••||••||••

The muhrat has already started for our phere. I was with my family for now about an hour, in dressing room, they made me changed into our traditional saree, given by my nani for phere.  It was actually a relief I got, though this saree is not so light but definitely comfortable than that heavy lehenga, which I think I'll be wearing again in the morning as per Mallika's order.

Around me everything was a mess,  maa panicked, so did Mallika searching for a particular jewellery needed, our khandani one for me to wear. 

Outside, my dadi scolded us, for being late and irresponsible. However my nani did try to calm her down and eventually taking her out with excuse for seeing other preparations.

Ten minutes later, the jewellery was found out in one of our bag, deep inside it was hidden. Mallika quickly made me wear that, turning me to mirror and doing a last minute touch up. The yellow and red saree, some less jewelry made me sign in relief, but nevertheless I'm decorated like a bride from head to toe.

Wait, I'm the bride, actually.

As I have no real brother, or mamaji, maa's distant brother came, stood beside me. I might have not met him more often but he actually is a good man. Not having his own real sister, did made him so close to maa, that he fills all the brotherly responsibilities. During papa's time, he was the one supported us the most, financially and emotionally.

Mallika, Gauri,  maa, maasi, nani, dadi, Ryan, even zizu stood behind and beside us. Mama ji smiled at me, with  much affection caressed my pallu covered head, and led me outside.  "Are you nervous, bete?"

"A little, mama ji."

"Don't be, I won't let you fall. These arms still have strength to hold you protectively." He promised, making me having a tiny smile in this stressful situation too.

We walked, outside, the temperature dropping the most at this time of night. From a good distance, the chatter and glimpse of people I saw right in the middle of ground. Above, in the sky,  the moon was shining brightly, with his million of star friends. Normally, they wouldn't shine this brightly or in such large number present every night, but today it seems like even they have come out of their shall to witness our marriage.

As we entered, people seeing us, quieten down and made our way clear. It gave me the sight in front, the decorated mandap shining the most in night, among all other decoration. My eyes take in the view, pandit ji sitting across, the havan still isn't lightened up, our families sitting on front sofa, now the elderly women having shawls and some having a light warm blanket.

And than there was my husband to-be-in-few-minutes, who was talking to bade papa a second ago, hearing the quietness around us,  looked in my way, at me.

He was sitting straight, across pandit ji, still in same clothes. Actually all other than me here are in same clothes. The yellow bright lights around the mandap, falling upon his face. For a moment it was like it was only him shining and others went into the blur. 

Mamaji made me sit beside him, on his right hand side, only a little space between us. Pandit ji sprinkled holy water on me and in the meanwhile, badi maa made me wear thier own red chunri, informing me, from now on for a year, I had to wear it on every festival. I nodded silently, my eyes fixed on the fire of havan kund that pandit ji just lit it.

"Sarvpratham, kanya ki behan aage aakar Granthi Bandhan karegi."

Panditji asked out loud, Mallika who was in first row sitting with zizu, already on her way, coming to me with  a soft smile. His masi forwarded Mr Obeori's end of long pink stall he was wearing on one shoulder to Malli, who in return quickly tied it with the end of dupatta, just given to me by badi maa.

"Beta, knot it tightly. It shouldn't be lose, or untie in between the ceremony." His maasi said.

"Don't worry aunty, dekhna, abb ye chahakar bhi nahi khulega" she chuckled, while with all her strength tieing it tightly, twice.

It was started. Pandit ji  after blowing up the shank, started chanting to Lord Shiva, Goddess Parvati, Lord Narayan and Goddess Laxmi, praying a strong marriage like theirs for us.

For once, my blank mind thought his name is after Lord Shiva and mine after Goddess durga. Shiva-Durga. Shivaay-Anika. A deep connection between our names.

Stop. Just concentrate here.

For long, unknown how much time have passed, but Pandit ji kept chanting mantras, offering rice, ghee and flowers to fire. The surrounding was quite now. Mr Oberoi and I perform offering to fire, whenever we were asked. We both didn't say anything, not uttering a single word and I felt  his own eyes were also fixed on fire before us, just like mine.

An hour went by. When Panditji asked out loud, "Kanya ke mata pita, ab kanyadaan ke liye aage aa jaye."

Maa hastily came forward, informing panditji about papa. Pandit ji sympathized, nevertheless guided her for ceremony.

I felt my hold tightened over my saree.

For as long as I remember, I never let my mother touch my feet, but today seeing her washing my feet with milk and water, didn't fit well with me. Here I wasn't alone feeling awkward, as much after Mr Obeori's decline to this idea, he has to in the end silently  let maa wash his feet. 

A moment later she came from behind, squatting down, a step behind us, in between Mr Oberoi and I, her hand came and she took mine and gave  it in Mr Oberoi's right hand. Repeating after pandit ji, and praying to Mr Oberoi, to look after her daughter.

Mr Oberoi repeated as Pandit ji asked him to. But all this while when my hand was like this and given away to him, I am suddenly understanding that literally meaning of kanya daan. An offering.  I am understanding in real sense, given away by my own mother to this very man, with so much trust and honesty,  a feeling of reality hitting me in this very moment.

My own eyes I felt burning up, they welled up at that very thought but I did control my tears, not let them falling down but just letting them burn taking in this holy fire.

Maa went back, from corner of my eyes I saw her rubbing her own tears. Here, for some long moment Mr Oberoi and I were asked to keep our hand together, mine upon his to complete some more offerings.

Shortly after we both were asked to perform mangal fera. So we stood up, Gauri and Mallika helped me here in standing up and around fire, with him leading me in three rounds, and last one in which I was leading, we took four rounds. Praying and exchanging vows of duty, love, fidelity and respect.

For a moment, I thought this was it. This is the seven vows we are taking. And our marriage will be sealed. But no, this was different. And after this, our family was called upon to perform offerings, went on about next ten minutes.

"Ab aap dono," Pandit ji, pointed towards us, himself shifting little backward, "saat phero ke liye khade ho jaye."

Saat pehere

This was it.

Mallika, Gauri came to me, again, helping me to stand while my mind was totally blank but also at the same time fully aware of my surroundings.  Mr Oberoi was already standing, nodding to whatever panditji was saying.

The sacred fire, mango wood and cowdung burnt, aroma of purity and positiveness all around. The light and warmth. The mantras in my ears.

This was all I was very aware of this moment, and also the firm grip over my hand holding, his.

Mr Oberoi has held my hand, I don't know if he himself had or Panditji asked, but as soon as I saw he was forwarding his to me, I held it without thinking anything.

Pandit ji chanted mantra, and with his one hand gestured.

Mr Oberoi...Shivaay turned, walking slowly, leading me for the first round, around the fire. Slowly. The motion felt so slow.

Suddenly the flowers, petals started showering over us, everyone around us standing and people at back peeking over front ones to witness this very moment.

Pandit ji asked us to repeat after him, the vows we are taking.

“Om esha ekapadi bhava iti prathaman,” Shivaay said.
“Dhanam dhanyam pade vadet,” I complied.

His voice as he vowed was firm and confident, while mine felt emotionless, just as robotic. Only concerned that words I am saying should come out carefully.

We paused for a moment, listening to Panditji.

In the first vow, Panditji explained, his voice carefully heard by all. "groom says to bride,  I will provide welfare and happiness for you and the children that we bear and you shall offer me food and help whenever it is required." A pause. " In response to this, the bride promises to be responsible for the complete household management.

Promise of our respective roles fulfilment. Vow 1.

We started walking, for the  second round around this sacred fire, the petals still showering over us, he leading me and again we repeated as we were asked.

“Om oorje jara dastayaha,” Shivaay said.

“Kutumbum rakshayishyammi sa aravindharam,” I replied.

Pandit ji explained, "The second vow,  groom says that together, we will protect our children and home," Panditji pointed towards me, "and the bride in return promises to stand with her husband as his strength and courage. She pledges to rejoice in his happiness and in return, demands him to be loyal to her."

Additionally he told us, "The second vow is where the couple seeks union on emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. Since they will be partners, they seek strength for protecting each other through all phases of life."

Promise of union and protection. 2nd Vow.

Third round of sacred fire, beneath our feet now felt the soft petals. Panditji said the lines and again as straight we both could, we repeated clearly.

"Om rayas santu joradastayaha,” he said.
“Rava bhakti as vadedvachacha,” I  assured.

"In the third vow, the groom hopes for a wealthy and prosperous future for both of them and their children. The bride responses by giving an assurance of staying loyal to her husband and putting every other man in her life as secondary." Panditji explained.

Promise of future and loyalty. 3rd Vow.

"Om mayo bhavyas jaradastaya ha,” Shivaay repeated.

“Lalayami cha pade vadet,” I responded.

"In the fourth vow, the groom declares to the bride that she has made his life complete and promises to respect her. He hopes for their children to be obedient and noble. He also hopes for a long life of their children and expresses interest in striving for their education. The bride promises her husband to shower with joy and happiness and do everything possible to please him."

Promise of responsibility, children and respect. 4th Vow.

"Now, beti you come forward for remaining parikarma. You will now lead." Panditji asked us.

We halted for a moment on our places, our hand clasped together, and carefully not to let our dupatta or his stall fall down, we exchanged places.

In our fifth round, I lead him on. My eyes stuck on fire, and his I felt on behind my head.

Om prajabhyaha santu jaradastayaha,” Shivaay said.

“Arte arba sapade vadet,” I replied as pandit ji asked us.

"In the fifth vow, the groom calls the bride his best friend and a well-wisher. He thanks her, and asks God to bless her. To this, the bride promises to love and cherish him all her life. She says that his happiness and sorrows are now her happiness and sorrows. The bride promises to the groom to honour him and strive to fulfill his wishes."

Promise of friendship, love and care. 5th Vow.

I swallowed the forming lump, not for once looking up, my head held a tightness in centre, as we went for sixth round. 

"Rutubhyah shat padi bhava,” the Shivaay says.

“Yajna hom shashthe vacho vadet,” I promised.

"In the sixth vow, the groom says to the bride ,'now that you have taken six steps with me and I am delighted. Would you promise to fill my heart with the same happiness for the lifetime?' To this, the bride promises to be by her husband all her life. Together they pray to seek the blessings of God to bestow them with a long and healthy life that is replete with peace and prosperity."

Promise of happiness, peace and a lifetime. 6th Vow.

Before even our last round started. The doubts, the confusion, the unbelievable thoughts I was having before, it was all now replaced with the sense of responsibility and now the fact being married. The feeling of responsibility and feeling of leaving my own house and the feeling of my new life I'm going to have. All these thoughts and feelings, my inner self have accepted. Something magical happened, or something different that now, I feel my own house I was living for my whole existence, is not mine anymore. I felt at this moment my home, my everything really going to be now on what's his.

"Om sakhi jaradastayahga,” the groom says.
“Attramshe sakshino vadet pade,” the bride replies.

"In the seventh and last vow, the groom declares that we are now husband and wife, and now we will stay together for eternity. In its reply, the bride says that with God being the witness, she is now his wife and says that both of them will cherish and honour each other forever."

Panditji added, "the final vow that beckons the completion of the holy union is sealed with a pledge of being companions for life. The couple promises to stand by each other and be true in their relationship always. "

The promise of marriage, togetherness and husband-wife. 7th Vow.

As we halted on our place, the cheerful sound, happiness  started around us. However it was soon, Panditji asked us to take our places and asked bade papa for the sindur and mangalsutra.

In seconds, badi maa forwarded a plate, the sindur was covered and a gold mangalsutra with black beads was kept on petals. And a silver coin also was kept there.

It was than, as Pandit ji asked, mama ji made me wear pair of silver toe rings, that felt uncomfortable but the following moment did surpress all my feeling of uncomfortable with anticipation.

Final moment.

Mr Oberoi...Shivaay took the red silver coloured small box, and as badi maa guided, he with that silver coin took some sindur on it.

Behind me, Mallika came, and I felt my mangtika and dupatta, was slightly moved aside by her. It was the moment or the fact that this man, sitting beside me is now my husband. Or it was the fact, he was richest of our country, and most respectable and powerful man. Or it was because I heard Mallika sniffling, and Maa sobbing.

It was the just the moment, Shivaay's hand came above my forehead and as softly as he can, he filled my partition of hair with his name of sindur, that moment the sindur slightly fell on my nose along with a tear that I kept at bay all this night, followed it's trail.

I felt so powerful. The moment so much delicate and yet powerful. I had no strength to look up, at my husband. Ah...the husband, I should really get used to that fact.  I had no courage to face this purity of our relation. It was that heavy.

Soon, I felt my husband's hand coming in contact with my neck. The hands which I have always felt so warm, and comforting. They were so cold and numb themselves. For few seconds they were there, on my neck, trying to tie down the mangalsutra. My heart felt heavy and beats so fast that I had to look up, and what I saw skipped a beat.

He was looking at me, for the first time with the softness in his gaze. Not that cold, or emotionless. But there were now some emotions brewing inside. He visibly swallowed when my eyes met his blue green orbs. His eyes that more than his face expression, always expresses the  most, today instead of the storm, the hardness or any coldness, held some unfamiliar softness, peace and thoughtfulness.

I think, in this moment we both felt, we are tied in a sacred bond, we are now no more strangers, we are both sealed in this holy union.

We are both now,  Husband and Wife.

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