S H I V A A Y

••||••||••

Ever heard the saying, In the blink of an eye- time flew away? Or felt something like a decade passed on without  even knowing? Or ever experienced that?

Well, that's what happened, or more specifically happening these days with me. The time, where it flew away within a blink, more precisely the last few days, it went in a blur that I didn't even much realised. It's like yesterday we were heading for Udaipur, and today, it's eve of my marriage.

Usually a man, who is going to get married, these days might have another reason for this experience, usually that is due to the excitement and eagerness, but for me it's entirely different.

In midst of rituals, customs, functions, and all this social gatherings, one thing that kept me buzy and sane was my work.

More specifically, office work.

It kept me buzy, other than mindlessly socializing or wasting time completely for an week, it's one of the productive activity is keeping me sane these days.

Now more likely, it 'was' keeping me sane. The man, who with a single sign could turn things upside down in this world, who makes people work on their toes, whose only a gaze is enough to make them scatter, is now being banned and ordered not to work. If you didn't get it yet, that's me I was mentioning. Banned and Ordered together!

Want to know how?

This was untill Om Ru, those idiots of my brother became enemy of my peace and bought dadi in the room, without any noise, silent steps, and they simply showed dadi, how her grandson was participating in his own marriage.

Needless to say, she wasn't very proud.

Well, I was just reviewing a presentation. It seems like when Bade papa or me aren't in office, our employees turned out to be lazy and less efficient. To keep them on toe, I was reviewing their work, going through major presentation that we needed in coming week for a big project.

It was than, my laptop turned shut with a force and I, the ice cold lava surged through my body ready to burn that person alive who dared to act like this.

But when I turned to face that person. It turns out, here I was the one burning under that person's glare.

Yes, the truth.

"Billu, tu nahi sudhrega na" She scolded me, with a glare that even today, as in my childhood, still shut me up. Her wrinkles more deepened with a frown now forming on her face and taking my laptop and phone,  she ordered, "abse tumhare sare phone laptop mere pass rahege. Aur Khanna yaa kisi aur se lene ki himakat bhi nahi karna!"

Warning so she started putting my laptop and i phone in a bag and there Om Rudra gladly helped her giving things from drawers, almira and under the table, "ye bhi dadi. Han. aur ye bhi."

These two traitors!

I glared them, who seems hard time to control their laughter and stood beside dadi, with innocent smile.

"Dadi.."

"Kya dadi?"

Even if I thought to negotiate with her, her stern face made me shut all my tries, instead I shook my head lightly at her, she forwarded her hand signing towards my ear, my eyebrow raised but eventually handed her my bluetooth speaker.

It was than and now.

Now it's been, more than three hours and here I am realising how much time, the last few days has went in a flick but now three hours without any work seems like three days!

Even my bodyguard seems to be more loyal to dadi than me. One glare that makes people shiver, one cold glare which makes people scatter, one icy glare that makes them beg, that glare today didn't make Khanna give a ipad or his laptop to me, he would reason helplessly looking down on floor, not meeting my eyes, "sorry sir, it's an order from high authority. Even I'm unable to disobey."

High authority, Dadi.

She has her own fear spread on my bodyguards and secretary.

And here without having anything to do, the surrounding which was till now a blur in conciousness, became more on my awareness and so my head has started aching a little.

All around there were loud noises or in common people words, laughter of happiness, music of joy, everyone socializing, enjoying and on that hammering of decorative accessories was unavoidable.

It wasn't much evident before from the time we are here, but as today it seems to be the day going on much slower note, every single activity seems to be much evident.

The temperature was icily dropping, there wasn't a sign of sunshine in the noon. I was walking towards my room, it seems useless to walk on crowded terrace, where after every minute one or the other relative of mine would enquire about my mood. I don't know why they would be interested in mine? I don't even understand what is the need to invite these all, distant relatives or acquaintance or half of Delhi's population which I even don't recognise? Why would they be here?

To share happiness?

The people who couldn't be happy for themselves, why would they care for us? Moreover these are the people who suddenly started asking us for last few years, with the coincidence last few years we have achieved much success. These are the one who are very good at boot licking, they just worry and care about how expensive our boot is and how long they would be.

It seems useless to spend a penny on them or keep them on our head.

Dadi scolds me, lecturing I should be polite or I should treat them with harmony, or else they would feel bad and would be upset from us, could leave.

I wonder why haven't they left till now?

I understand these people's mind very well.
And dadi also knows these greedy friends of ours very well, but she hasn't still came out of those societal norms, those societal clutches to keep everyone impressed. It is wise to walk with the society, she believes. And I believe that untill you'll not move independently of society or these so called people, you will always be part of a herd and I most specially am not part of a herd.

These days, more than marriage happiness, most of our lovely guests came here seeing an opportunity, to socialize their business interests. As after congratulations, next questions they indicate to introduce to some of my business partner.

A marriage, I would have preferred...No, I wouldn't have ever preferred it in first place, but, now as it is happening, in my opinion it should be a lot better instead of showing off to world, a simple one in presence of your family, close relatives, friends. A peaceful one. A quick one.

On one side I can't wait to rid of all these functions and on another side, I would want to postpone it, as far as possible.

It still feels somewhere hard to believe to accept the fact that a person, that is going to be my wife, would from now on will be around me, with me, would somewhere share my life. My mind find it hard to accept that fact.

But that's the reality and you should accept it!

Shrugging that thought off, my attention diverted towards the voice, calling out my name loudly and stressed.

"Ah Mr Oberoi," a bald, healthy-overweight man, red faced, huffing and trying to control his breath came to me from behind, asking "how are you?"

See, again!

"Mr..?" Giving him a significant look, I tried recalling if I know him. No, most probably not.

"Talvar, Pradeep Talvar" he grinned, forwarding his hand as if we are some old acquaintance. "You may not have recognized me, I am husband of your cousin, Ridhi."

Ridhi?

Ridhi, it sounds familiar.

Ah, Bade dadu's granddaughter, who I think I have talked to her, once on tervi of dadu. Fifteen years back. The one who this once annoyed me to play doll house reluctantly, despite my ignorance all the time.

I eyed his hand, still raised in between us. This man seems to be purely having other intention than to know my well being. Looking in his eyes, I firmly shook my hand. Definitely mean in eyes. Even his grip wasn't strong.

"I'm fine, Mr Talvar. And no, I don't recognise you." And I'm not interested also.

"Oh..." I pulled my hand back, he tried smiling but now seems doubting to say something or not. He said it anyway, after congratulating me, "Well, I am also a businessman, have a small business of local goods in Lucknow. Soon we are going to open in Delhi too, Ridhi suggested."

I nodded.

He looked around us, away from my face "It's good, preparation seems to be going well."

"They are."

Silence, than he looked away from my eyes, looking around us, "Nice weather, isn't it?"

I told him curtly, "I don't think so I would share your view, and call fog, cloudy and chilly winter as a nice weather."

He frowned, and seems to now really notice, his neck and ear turning red and slightly nodded in agreement. "Yeah...oh I forgot Ridhi asked me to bring juice. It was nice meeting you Mr Oberoi."

And with that he scurried away, his steps retreating faster than I think he used to. I looked at my wrist watch, even though I may think my two minutes have been wasted but I really do not have much to utilise.

I turned to walk in direction of my room, coming here on terrace also didn't help me much...bam

Glass, plate, a person crashed into me. "What the..."

I glared, my jaw clenching at the person standing before me and than at my now ruined clothes.

Infront of me was a lanky worker, having now an empty plate and glass. All the liquid, yellow milk splashed on my white shirt. The liquid felt cold on my skin, running down on my abs, leaving a irking feeling of dirt and stickiness. The two things I hate the most.

The man looked up, angry and irritated, about to yell but as recognisation drawn upon him, who he was dealing with, his eyes widened, and he visibly gulped, fumbling on his own words. "Sir, Mr Obeori, sir...you? i am so...sorry. My feet slipped and I accidentally--"

I cut him off, ordering, "Bring me a napkin"

"Sorry sir, please don't fire me....." he repeated than as if he seems to registered my words now, he looked up attentive, "Napkin? Oh yes sir. I'll bring--"

"Yes, yes. Now go and bring it fast"

He scurried away, his step fumbling just as his words, only to be coming back in exact thirty five seconds with bundle of varried napkins.

Taking up one, I cleaned up but this fellow now, why isn't he leaving! He was continuously looking me and down on floor.

"What?" I asked, my voice and gaze, icy cold.

"No... Nothing sir." He shook his head vigorously, looking at my shirt, "Do you want anything else, sir? If you wish, May I bring a clean shirt and get this one cleaned for you immediately, sir."

"No. You may leave now."

Balling the tissue and discarding in a near by dustbin, with long strides, I made my way to room.

There Om Ru discreetly talking something and suddenly went shut seeing me there. It didn't surprised me, these days they both seems to be planning something, secretly. What surprises me more is, how Rudra could keep something for this much time period. He could never hide anything from me, from a new biscuit he would have tried to his result, he would first come to me, recite me everything, even his girlfriend's secrets he couldn't hide from Om and me. And now it's been an week, I presume it's something related to marriage but now the frown and small smile on his face, tells me there is something worrying him.

"Rudra?"

"Ji bhaiya?"

"What are you hiding from me?" Walking towards them, I asked, in a tone I would always use with him to spill out everything.

They both looked at my ruined shirt, Om asking amused, "Now who committed such a big crime?"

The stickiness, dirt and wet clinging to my chest. It still irritated me. "Some lanky worker." Looking back Rudra, "Rudra?"

Rudra howmuchever shook his head, chuckled, "Nothing bhaiya, there's nothing. What would we hide, from you? No Om?"

However, Om looked at Rudra, his smile turning into a murderous glance, his eyes narrowed at Rudra and shaking his head, in disbelief.

"Yeah, there's nothing." Emphasizing on Nothing, Om took his I Pod, half lying on pillow and blankets, he got himself buzy and away from his conversation.

"Are you sure Rudra?" I repeated, clearly they both were lying avoiding to meet my eyes, "There's nothing?"

Rudra nodded, than shook his head and when I looked at him suspiciously he frowned, sighing and finally revealing, "There's something actually."

I nodded awaiting.

"Actually..." Nervously, playing with a pillow borders frail, he left the sentence incomplete.

Possibility of him being making a mistake, I predicted and raised my eyebrows at him, "What have you done now?"

His head snapped up, blinking, "Me? I haven't done anything."

"Come on, now spill it out Rudy"

"Bhaiya, actually..." he frowned than looked up, said it more confidently, in a breath, "I...we want you to attend a party with us."

"A party? That's it?" I exclaimed in disbelief. He was this worked up about a party? Meanwhile he shrugged his shoulders off, walked up to my wardrobe and started going through my suits.

"What party? Rudy, I clearly told you I don't want any bachelor party--"

"Noo" He turned to me, selecting a black suit and handing it over to me. "A simple party. You know it's Christmas so we could celebrate."

"A Christmas party?" Suddenly? "From when have we started celebrating Christmas?"

He try out a shrug. Chuckling. "Oho Bhaiya, I used to go with my friends. And now we all are celebrating a small Christmas party. Here." Hopefully he asked, "You are also free, so why not join us?"

Free

How much does Free and I went along?

"I'm actually buzy. You guys enjoy, I won't be able to come."

Saying so, I went to take a fresh shower. With each passing time the stickiness irritating me so much. Rudra whined, Om gave him a look of all knowing, stating "I told you"

••||••||••

Still sitting in my room, my hands itching to go grab a laptop or cell phone or some file to work upon, I hardly able to pass my last hour. Unintentionally it went on my gaze staring down on my hand. A particular creativity.

With each day, this heena on my hand, that she intentionally made me put, is darkening to brown. Everytime I see it, made me mentally cringe, not only on how bad Ru can, but Om also could be this worst in mehendi creativity. But howmuchever it irks me, my eyes wouldn't stop staring it, staring at a particular name, 'A N I K A' darkening like a particular tattoo.

"Bhaiya, please it's just a small party."

It was afternoon, they were still sitting in our room, Rudra was now trying persuading me for an hour now to join party. Still not revealing the details.

"Rudra, I told you I'm buzy, I have to talk to bade papa."

"Bhaiya but, it'll be fun. Pleaseee"

"No, and moreover you know I don't  like going to parties."

"Bhaiya, you already made us not to organise your bachelor party and now you can't even come to this one!"

"Rudy"

"No, you're coming. I don't know anything. We are going!" He stubbornly storm out of the door, already angry with my decline to bachelor party.

Five minutes later, Om looked above from video chat and putting off the earbuds, his forehead having a crease. These days, he'll talk to Gauri whenever he'll get some free time. More like, whenever he could excuse himself.

Now complaining, "Rudy went to Gauri now!"

I shook my head lightly, my fingers unconsciously roaming on 'Anika' written on my other hand.

"Waise, why aren't you coming to the party?" He asked, keeping his i-pad aside and laying on bed more comfortably.

"Come on, Om. You know me, I don't like parties." He yawned and as there were saying seeing other person yawn you also follow behind. However I stiffle a yawn, it may be the first time in a long time I m feeling this sleepy that too in a afternoon.

Shaking my sleep off, I stood up, I walking towards window, down there bade papa was instructing a group of workers. It would be better to do something than nothing. "It's better I see if bade papa needs my help."

"Let yourself enjoy Shivaay." Om walked to me, holding by my shoulder and turning to him emphasis on, "Stop working and for once enjoy for real!"

Looking outside the window, helpers setting up the lights, I mumbled to him "I'm enjoying myself."

"Yeah, I can see." Sarcastically he said, later on adding, "oh, I forgot to inform you, Dadi asked me to tell you, your clothes has delivered. Try them and let her know." Checking his clock, he gave a sheepish grin, "in about five minutes."

"Not again Om!" Turning away from him I walked with clear aim to be downstairs with bade papa. Yesterday only I tried half a dozen clothes and now, it would be better I exit from here or else...

Our door opened, making both of us attentive. And oh well, there goes my exit plans! Dadi seems to have a such good timing.

She came inside, with a bag in her hand, "Here these are more, try them right now puttar. If fitting is needed, I have to let tailor know."

I looked at Om, he has a smirk and a look saying go, go, now I'll see how you will exit!  My brow cocked up at him and  turning to dadi, I emphasized, "But Dadi, yesterday only I had tried them!"

She nodded. "Those were different. Ab puttar, it's your fault, why didn't you give us time at home? There hand to hand we would know, so now it wouldn't be like to try them all, together now."

And her determined eyes shushed me up, like every other time. I picked up that bag and other bag that Om directed, who is having hard time controlling his chuckle.

Giving him a shut-up look, I went to dressing room, trying ten pairs of clothes right than.

An hour went by, I was talking to Khanna, my bodyguard, when Haider, Om and Rudra came to me, Om and Haider particularly looking off. Telling me there's a big problem, they quickly pulled me with them, out to some building, not so far from here.

"Will somebody tell me, what's the matter?"

"You'll know bhaiya!" Rudy says just that and we walked inside that building.

Walking inside, it seems like a Christmas party going on. My first instinct told me it's Rudra, pulling me forcefully to his party like this, except, there were only girls here, some dancing in a corner and a guy's face peeking up among all of them. Before we even had reached them, Haider's jaw tightened, he went there made music stop.

Meanwhile, I was about to ask Rudy about all this, when my gaze while taking the surroundings in, stopped in between, at a particular person, on her.

Anika

I didn't take notice when Rudra slipped off but my forehead turned into a crease, taking her unusual expression. It wasn't as smiling as they always were, as soft as they always is, as cheerful as they should be.

Stop! Don't Think! Concentrate on Situation.

Ms Trivedi's face was behind some short woman, looking disturbed and irritated, and as music stopped, she went still, surprised along with other women. Only difference is other women whinned for music, Ms Trivedi stood silently there, looking at Haider, surprised.

I still haven't forgotten the last night. The way she pushed me under the bed yesterday night, just to hide from our elders, nobody has dared doing that with me. On that she had audacity to imply indirectly it was fun. I wonder, how am I going to spend a single day, after marriage in the same room, with her?

My eyes narrowed, catching the sight now clearly, at the man standing near her, he was barely clothed, chest flaunting to women around him. The girls around him whined, wanting music to turned on again, wanting to continue their enjoyment. Is it why Ms Trivedi looked irritated right now?

With that single thought, my jaw tightened and a surge of unknown displeasure ran through me.

Haider yelled, gaining all attention Om following behind and than Rudra throwing a table cloth at that man. Turns out, Mallika had called him and Haider seems mad about that.

"Leave"

I ordered that man, finality evident in my tone.

He tried arguing but Mallika came from behind Haider, eyeing with some emotion at her husband and made that lunatic leave.

Everyone stared at us, it didn't mattered much as I have now become habitual to these. The environment was back to normal as Rudy made turned on the music, himself catching up with her friend, Saumya. And Om, Haider, they both went with their respective partners with not so good mood in some peaceful corner. And here it was like I am prey of lustful gazes attacking on my way from all the corners, however, I ignored them, my eyes looking for familiar face among the crowd.

A few seconds later, a figure from behind came to me taking me by surprise, as a cold hand slipped into mine, I was about to retort, yell to back off but heard a very familiar, soft voice saying near my ear, "come with me."

Anika

It was her, making me still in my place as I felt her breath fanned over my ear and so close than it should be.

She backed off, and as I composed myself to face her, I looked up, for the first time noticing today, she looks different. A good different, among all these ladies. Unlike many girls over here, she wasn't wearing those revealing clothes, infact, she was in a classy dress, making her look elegant, looking as preety as she always looks.

A little pressure I felt where she was still holding it, making me come out of my daze. I straighten myself up, scolding myself for thinking like that. I shouldn't think of her in that way. I shouldn't. I looked around, unconsciously holding her hand back and pulled us away from these loud blasting music.

"By the way what are you doing her" when we were out of that loud noise range, she asked me as ever in her soft voice, sounded astonished as well, later adding "at my bachelorette party?"

A bachelorette party?

Oh bravo Rudy! We weren't arranging a bachelor party so you made us attend this! Girl's party! Even the thought made me cringe and here I was now part of it.

We stood at a side of bar, my hand, I felt it lifted up a little in her small and soft one. Hands filled with darkening heena, nails painted metallic silver. I looked at her, slightly narrowing my eyes as she was so suddenly playing with my fingers, with my hand like it's the most normal thing to do for her. And eyeing at her name written on it with mehendi making her lips curling in a smile. An alluring smile.

I lifted our hand, to our chest level in attention, "What are you doing?"

She shrugged off as if it's nothing, it's like normal, still twisting my fingers and palm, "me? Whyever am I doing Mr Oberoi?

Mr Oberoi

Normally, I would prefer to have call me formally. I would like to keep them at a distance, in always a business relationship. First name basis, I rarely have since I had stepped in this world of business. But why would it irk me, when she called me so, why my ears I feel to be awaiting and tongue on edge to correct her, it's beyond my understanding.

Raising an eyebrow up I directed towards our hand, "My hand"

Acting as if realising now, "oh, that. I am playing."

She said so simply, shrugging her shoulders slightly and,  I didn't understand and feeling others gaze I didn't pull it away. However my mind taunted who are you kidding to Shivaay?

She continued saying, with her corner of lips turned upward "I'm actually surprised you didn't pull away."

She seems to be in her thoughts and I thought why am I not pulling away. I should. But I couldn't! It just feel not so bad having her holding my hand. Normally I would hate these things, but as she held it, somewhere my hand seems to find it's own likable place.

"I can't" I muttered, but I can't let her know, Instead, "It would be rude as a fiance, considering every female is staring this way right now."

Her expression told me, she thought so. Rolling her eyes she told me, "Exactly. I am also playing. You know, playing a happy couple role."

Happy couple role? "Does a happy couple waste their energy and time doing this unnecessary activity?"

From one side, her lips turned into a amusing smile hearing me out, her interlocking our fingers and eyeing in front than at me, "Well, if you put in that way. They do waste a lot of time and energy doing that. But if you don't want it, I can stop."

Why do I think as if this sentence has double meaning. Is she insisting...?

As I felt her pulling her hand out, without my mind sending my hand a message, they themselves tightened around hers, stopping. "Continue play.." I spoke slowly, "your happy fiancee role."

And she stopped pulling, her lips curling up in a smile so big, alluring smile "Oh, I am. And I would be soon playing that role really well."

She has that mischievous glint in her, hazel eyes. I feel like she's upto something, I suspiciously narrowed my eyes, "Soon? What are you planning, Ms Trivedi?"

"Oh nothing." Than seeing me still not satisfied with her answer she herself added, "Or moreover you will know in minutes." She quickly changed that topic, asking again with her suspicious gaze, "Now you didn't tell me, what are you doing here?"

"Are we forgetting, it's Obeori's property? I can go anywhere as I wish to."

She smiled, sweetly, sarcastically. "Well, offcourse you can. But you certainly wished to grace your presence in my bachelorette party, that's little... unsettling."

"That more of indicates lika a Christmas party." It was not meant for her to be heard, but she heard that.

"That's just a theme." She cleared to me adding shaking her head in more of displeasure, "Moreover, you people spoilt it now, we were so enjoying. It's I guess now truly turned into a Christmas celebration."

So was she really enjoying that ...jerk's dance? Unknowingly that made me feel lava rushing in my veins. For some reasons, it doesn't fit well me knowing that.

"Enjoying? You were enjoying that lunatic's moves, which is quite a black spot on name of dancing."

She took a moment and meanwhile I composed myself, surprised at my own raging reaction.

She smirked and dared adding, "Well, those more specifically called sexy steps."

Oh she didn't just say that! "You assume that as 'sexy'?" I snapped that normally it would be rare but now seems like something else is taking control of me and that I don't like.

"Why, Mr Oberoi, Not me only, but all the girls here."

"Object and Observer, both here have a quite high intelligence." I looked around us, it seems like I was the only one man here. Haider Om Ru seems to have vanished somewhere.

Hearing my comment, she narrowed her eyes at me and her small nose wrinkling, "your point?"

"Nothing of importance."

She continued in her all knowing tone, "I am getting what you are implying Mr Oberoi. But so that you know, before judging others you should see yourself."

And our conversation went on. It was untill I made a point all here seems pleased with our  boy's presence and something clicked in her, making me pull to her guests.

I felt stuck.

Fifteen minutes talking to them, which I normally wouldn't do but showing us as a happy couple on her insistence. I met them and suffice to say most of them were greedy, trying to flirt with me and mindless.

There was a instance, I heard some of them discreetly talking rubbish about Ms Trivedi and developing their own theory for marriage. And I am well aware she heard them too. But why wasn't she going to there giving an answer? Infact, I myself felt more of facing those characterless ladies. 

When I looked at Ms Trivedi, to confront her I saw a hurt flashing in her honey brown orbs looking around us. I am not good with emotions but the hurt, that clearly was visible in those eyes, that made her smile looking instead of usual cheerful but a weak one, it says she hasn't expected her so called friends to turn like this. She ignored them. And from corner of my eyes, I witnessed Mallika giving them a good insult, that they deserve well.

For an hour, ladies kept coming to us, and she kept introducing me politely. Most of them seems to be fast forwarded, tried clutching my hand tighter, trying flirting to me. Normally I wouldn't even stand with a person like them, but for her and my enraging anger that they dare talk about us in whispers like that, I talked in their own language and it wasn't my fault that they weren't much satisfied after talking to me.

Her smile turned in a amusing one, to my inner self who was implying something else, I concluded, tried it understanding I would have done this if there was some other lady too. But it still validated to a point, the peace my beating organ felt inside, it was unavoidable.

••||••||••

Rudra had set a bet.

A bet that whoever loses the sangeet competition would have to do a little walk, he told me a few seconds before. Ramp walk it was, most specifically.

The time since yesterday is really testing my patience. First there was Ms Trivedi forcefully hiding me under her bed so we wouldn't get caught infront of elders. Secondly, this bachelorette party which I haven't thought would be part of gate crashing here and now, because my dearest brother set a bet, I have to do a ramp walk!

Clearly, I denied. It's their bet, I haven't even set that. Rudy showing his puppy eyes, pleading so much and on that to my disbelief, Om pleaded me reasoning it's about man's word that should be fulfilled no matter what, they had me in thier captive.

I thought, to get it finished quickly. It's really not my choice infront of my brothers happiness. So, I stood there on stage, a spot light falling on me as other lights lit on our supposed runway. And taking a one deep breath I walked.

Keeping up my posture straight, I walked as remembering my past, have observed many modelling shows before that I have attended as a guest. With long strides but slow and controlled posture, looking in front at Christmas tree's star, I walked till the end.

Meanwhile, everyone, every single sound went quite. You could hear a pin drop silence. For almost twenty seconds I felt the burning gazes of ladies, raking all over me. And than there were suddenly a whistle, cheering and clapping. It was all like a real modelling going on.

Stopping there at the end, for once my gaze held on similar figure standing in front, jaw hanging open, wide eyes as if it would be the last thing she expected to witness.

Anika looked at me perplexed, coughing maybe as her cousin rubbed her back. Her eyes leaving a burning sensation up to down, down to up and than those hazel eyes held my gaze, locking there.

My straight expression, disturbed even after my try to keep them neutral. I felt my lips curling up a little. Her honey brown orbs never went away, it kept locked with mine. She visibly swallowed, her tongue wetting her lips and biting her lower lips, also curling up in a smile.

Burning heart. Ignore!

••||••||••

"Dadi"

I called her, making my way to her room. She was sitting with nani, talking about jewellery and accessories. Their attention came on me, smiling so big as they always have these days, "Ary Billu tu, aaja puttar."

Without saying anything, I took out my phone sliding towards her. Seeing that she smiled, taking my phone and keeping it inside her purse "So, you remember."

Shaking my head, on which dhe just chuckled, I asked her, "Dadi, you had your dinner and medicines?"

She kept aside the bag, nodded, "yes."

Turning to nani, who was also smiling looking at us, I asked, "And nani, you?"

Nani had that sorry expression, a second later shook her head, standing up, "I was just going to take."

"Nani" Shaking my head in disbelief I walked to her taking the heavy bags she was about to lift herself. "Let me"

"Ary bete, these arms still have strength to lift these, I'll manage" Nani exclaimed,  tried taking those bags.

"They have." I told her, "But you don't need to when I am here."

She knew I won't let her, so nodded and chuckled, lovingly patted my cheek, like a mother she is to me.

"Dadi, now you also sleep. It's getting late."

Covering her with the blanket, I made my way outside with Nani. The whole way, she talked about the preparation, my marriage and even the grandkids she desire to see right now, if possible.

Kids? I haven't ever thought about that. That slightly made me uncomfortable.

We reached her room, maasi opened the door. Apparently Maasi was staying tonight with nani.  Maasi smiled seeing me, as always did pinched my cheek leaving a red mark I just saw in a mirror, and there I made sure nani had her medicine and made my way to all time favourite place here of mine, to the pool.

Seeing maasi, everytime reminds me of mom. My mom and her, looks so similar, those same black eyes and that same face cut. Her fulfilling all the rituals on mom's part, makes me feel like mom is really here.

Don't go there, Shivaay. Just take a deep breath and don't think.

The night was chilly. Temperature seems to be dropping day by day. Khanna must be coming to give reports in some time.

This pool, the gazebo here is the only place where there is no noise, no people, only silence and peace. Everyday when I'll come here, it would be my laptop or ipad giving me company but due to dadi's strict order and her keeping all my gadgets, I do feel empty. Like there's nothing for me to do. And I can't stay like this.

Whenever I would ask bade papa for any help he needed, he would shrug me off saying, you kid should enjoy this phase, all work will be done on their own.

This phase?

Now that I think of, I didn't even realise how past few days blurred off and day after tomorrow I am going to be a married man. Everyone is so happy, their eyes shining with excitement, especially dadi and nani. To be honest, I haven't seen them this much contented before, in years.  It's like someone has filled them with this new energy. More specifically, Anika makes them so happy. Ms Trivedi. She doesn't even have to do anything, just her presence and being beside me, was all that will make my family all together on her side and positively happy.

Ms Trivedi is one woman, that, I am admitting, she has managed to take me by surprise more than once. Actually on many occasions.

I was surprised when she actually came to my office giving me gifts and apology. I expected she wants to change in our pre-nup, I thought she may be now realising it, but she has just wanted to meet to apologize and actually say thankyou, that too genuinely. I didn't expect that from her. Even I didn't expect she would turn down the money she will be have all her rights on, after our marriage. The genuineness, I see in her makes me irks and at the same time so surprised and doubtful.

Everyday now here that we meet due to ritual, or any other custom or due to any other reason, the more time we spend, or more like pretend to be a happy ideal couple, the more I came to know something new about her, the more I realise how opposite we are.

Around her, she everytime manages to engage people in her talks, she makes them laugh, make them feel happy, makes them genuinely engage to talk with her. Even Om Ru, she has them on her side. And Prinku? My own sister spends more time with her to be bhabhi, than with her own bhaiya.

They had the image of her, a ideal sister in law, too innocent, goodey two shoes. But I know the reality.  Heck, her actions are definitely not of a normal woman.

Which woman does climb up the floor, like a thief? And than my action are surprising myself, even though I saw her she has climbed down properly, there I have rushed that fast, just to check upon her. And today, my uncharacteristic behaviour surprised me more. The one thing I like the most is to control, be it my health, wealth or emotions. It should be in order.

But today's behaviour, around her, the lose of control over my composure, it makes me want to exercise that control more stronger. It makes me want to stay away from her and knowing day after tomorrow is our wedding, the fact didn't help me much.

I would never ever let past to be repeated. Never.

A frown formed on my forehead, as I stare at the heena in my hand. It irks me so much, but at the same time I would stare for more than a moment, just like that.

My thoughts broke, as I heard footsteps growing towards me. Turning around, there Khanna was standing nodding to me, with a file in his hand.

"Sir"

I nodded, curtly "Is everything set?"

"Yes sir, as you ordered, every corner has security guards and new cameras."

••||••||••

"Bhaiya, it's enough now. Tomorrow is your marriage and in one day you won't make any difference!"

Rudra insisted, stopping in between our run and sitting down on the grass, breathing hard. I shook my head at him, and was about to go for my run, when I saw her walking with her cousin and Gauri, chuckling and her hand moved in action as she spoke, stopping me in my track.

It has been for past few days, she will go with them passing from here while I would workout with Rudy. But today, she changed her way, instead or here, she went from other side.
Maybe because of haldi and we were told not to see each other.

Ignore. Run. Concentrate on your excercise.

Shrugging my thoughts off, I offered my hand to Rudy who in return shows how tired he is and put his whole weight on my arm. As he is as more muscular than me, he pulled me with him, making us both sit there on grass,  against my all the protests and said sleepily, "Let's sleep now."

The day seems to be buzy, everyone rushing here and there. The place decorated like it had never before. Bade papa and I made sure security to be tight. There will be hundreds of people and we wouldn't want to take any chance.

Dadi organised a pooja, as tomorrow it's wedding, she held it for good fortune. Prinku, unlike previous days she would spend her day with her bhabhi, she gave me company today as neither of my family member let me work.

She was sitting down on a sofa quitely lost in her thoughts, while I was having my black coffee beside her, the absence of cellphone intact to my hands.

"Prinku?"

She looked up, blinking. "Hm?"

"Atleast let me watch some tv."

She shook her head, smiling. "News? Not a chance, bhaiya. And  you know you should rest now. Dadi gave me strict instructions to see you rest properly."

A tired sigh exit my lips, "you know, I can't rest like this without doing anything."

She chuckled, "acha okay. But I'll choose the channel."

Better than nothing.

Leaning to her side, she picked up the remote. A few seconds of rummaging through channels, she stopped on UTV Action. "No. No Jodhaa Akbar!"

Her smile falter, frowning at me, "but bhaiya, it's my favorite"

"You have watched for hundred time!" I emphasized, which clearly went ignored as she leaned towards my hand, giving a coy smile and watched Jodha Akbar talking about some marriage conditions.

With the last sip of my coffee, and nothing else to do I watched the movie. In between, unconsciously Prinku started twisting her fingers and pressing her palm with other hand. A sign indicates she is too nervous about something.

"Prinku?"

No answer and still her eyes digged on television but her concentration was on something else.

Picking up remote, I switched off the tv. Her hand, I held them, which were cold and sweaty. I frowned, and as she looked at me with parted mouth and not arguing for switching her fav movie off, I knew for sure she was lost and worried about something.

"What happened?" She asked, taking her hand back and looking again at tv and now noticing that was closed.

"I should be the one asking you." As I spoke, she looked this side shrugging her shoulder off, "I have been watching you for a long time Prinku,  what has happened? Why are you so tensed huh?"

With a slight frown, she shook her head, "It's nothing--"

"Don't lie to me Prinku." Raising my hand, I caress her hair gently. A thing, which since childhood I do and she always get relaxed, so as she dis now. "What happened, someone said something to you?"

Her eyes, as if ashamed of something, went down looking at floor and silently she shook her head. "No one said anything to me."

"So?"

Her expression  turned into of mortify and she took her hand out of mine,  covered her face, hiding her emotions in small palms of her.

Worried, her name escaped my lips, "Prinku"

"I'm just ashamed bhaiya." She said angry and my hand caressed back of my little sister. With gulp of deep breaths, she practice whenever anxiety runs through her, she continued while I let her say it out loud without interupting. "Ashamed of me getting nervous everytime and not even able to mingle with anyone eazily. And it's your marriage tomorrow, I can't even dance alone like everyone, without having some fits...what kind of sister am I?" She said in a low tired tone, muffled in her hand.

"Acha shh, you have said enough." It did made my heart ache, hearing her out.  However rich I am and not even able help my sister out did make me feel helpless every time.  I made her sit straight, looking at me. "What nonsense are you talking about my sister? She is the best sister and one of the  good person in this world."

"Bhaiya" She exclaimed, not believing me and with her own fingertips rubbed her eyes and forehead.

"Don't you trust your bhaiya?" With seriousness that I ask made her look at me, and at once she nodded.

"Offcourse, I trust you the most."

"Than trust my words." I commanded, caressed her hair and with a small smile, "Prinku, everyone has some problem and no one has born perfect. Don't be ashamed being yourself. You haven't done any crime. And moreover be proud of yourself Prinku, who you are and how much have you come forward in your life. Remember earlier you wouldn't even step out of house?"

She nodded her head, "It was like I never wanted to."

"And now?"

"Now, I don't want to stay in house, want to explore outside."

"You see, how much you have come far in your life."

Her lips curled up in a light smile. "Yeah."

"Socializing with people, it isn't necessary Prinku. Do as you wish to. I have previously also stated, don't have that need to keep others happy. You don't have to live life on others parameters. Live life as you desire, on your own conditions."

Again, she nodded, her gaze zoned out to a spot near table. "But bhaiya," she started saying quitely, "I want to."

Looking up she said with a helpless sigh, "I want to know people, make friends. I want to be as confident as bhabhi."

Pausing in between my moments, I repeated slowly, "Bhabhi?"

She nodded, a proud smile forming on her face, "Anika Bhabhi. Like she is so perfect, confident, bold and fearless. She easily mingled with people and talk effortlessly."

Prinku proudly state out, her eyes sparked with a thought of her being having all these qualities. I would be lying to say these all characteristics didn't fit with Anika because they all describe her so well. The fearless glow of confidence in her hazel orbs that always burns, radiating the boldness and what's amusing is, despite that fierceness in her hazel orbs, when she speak with kindness and compassion, it do attract people's attention.

Ignoring to comment on her last statement, I asked her determined, "You want to be more confident?"

She nodded lightly, unsure of what I'm going to say. "Than believe in yourself and stop comparing."

"Huh"

"Accept yourself, held yourself up and if someone else is judging you, it's their problem, not yours. And in a situation, think what the best and worst could happen. Like you mentioned, you want to dance," I nodded in asking and she nodded back in positive response, listening carefully, "than think what worst could happen with your dancing, at most your steps could go wrong or you can slip down in a rare case, but that's okay, you can stand up again and dance like you never had, be contend with yourself because you are doing for your own self. That's how you learn and that's how facing the reality makes you stronger."

Gaining new perception, she smiled, nodding. Meanwhile I caressed her hair, "And my Prinku is the?"

"Strongest of all." Like always completed the sentence, and suddenly encircling her arms around me and resting her head against my chest, she hugged me making me stiff for a second.

"If I talk or dance, what worst could happen? At most people won't like it. But I want to do it and I'll prepare for the worst could happen. They are no one to judge me. They are here today and tomorrow somewhere else."

Encircling my arm around her shoulder, "That's like my Princess."

"Bhaiya" she called me out while parting from hug.

"Hm?"

With a sad smile she spoke it out, "I really wish mom dad were here, they would be happiest of all, aren't they?"

And suddenly hearing her, nade my brain flash some old memory buried deep inside my heart.

"Billu! What is this? You didn't ate your lunch, again?"

"Mom you know na, I don't like bhindi. Why would you give it for lunch"

"But it's good for health, and moreover which vegetable you do like? Mom, i hate bhindi, mom i don't like capsicum mom not this, mom don't want this...bete, your mom can withstand with your tantrums, but your wife?"

"Now what my wife will have to do with this all?"

"Nothing, i just pity my future bahu, how hard time she is going to have because of you."

"Mom! I won't ever get married."

"Ary, why wouldn't you? Everyone gets married."

"Because I heard you have to share your room and everything with her and I won't!"

"Now where would you heard that?"

"Stop laughing momma, I know everything."

"My ten year old Shivaay, you are too young to worrying about that. With timing your thinking will change and you know I eagerly await that day when my bahu will come to this house and  take over all the responsibility and even handle you badmaash."

"Bhaiya?"

Chains of my thought broke, while I took a deep calming breath nodding to Prinku. She was already on her way to resume Jodhaa akbar.

Two hours later, Prinku had already fallen sleeping on sofa only, in background Jodhaa Akbar movie ending song playing. Tucking her in a blanket and without making any noise I was about to go outside when Om-Rudra barge in talking loudly.

"Shh...Prinku is sleeping here. Lower down your volume you two."

And they did lowered thier voices, looked at Prinku, smiling affectionately.

"Still Bored, Bhaiya?" Rudra asked lowering his voice. I gave him a look, letting him know, which made him shook his head in disbelief.

We trio settled down on bed, Rudra telling about his day, the preparation, his friends and girls and Om giving him philosophical reply, advice on love relationship. Rudra is still unaware of Gauri being his life partner, so Om does speak carefully in front of him and as usual they both talked, mostly teased me about my married life. Rudra more of worried, his freedom regarding me going to snatched away from him.

An hour later, badi maa came to us, holding few bags, looking tired and still had she worn her beautiful motherly smile.  She looked at Prinku's sleeping figure than at us, "She slept here?"

I nodded, "while watching Jodhaa Akbar, she slept here."

"Again?" Badi maa shook her head in disbelief.

"Jodhaa Akbar, her jaan" Rudra grinned while Om made space for badi maa to sit.

After some snickering of Rudy and Badi maa scolding him for not doing her work, Badi maa looker at me, passing me the bags, "here, your wedding clothes."

"Finally Bhaiya" Rudra took the bags peeking inside, and showing to us "woah, these look great."

A few moment of silence later. Badi maa looked up at Rudy, and Om than at me.

"Rudra, I think I forgot shoes in my room. You and  Om bring them for me." Badi maa asked them, while nodding to Om.

"But Mom, it's I think in that bag." Rudra took a bag, showing all of us jutis I'll be wearing tomorrow, at this time. "Here they are."

There was some understanding went on as badi maa called "Om" in a meaningful tone. And Om nodded taking Rudra out of room with an excuse, forcefully.

After the door went shut and there was only silence, I out of curiosity asked her, " Badi maa, you want to say something?"

Badi maa looked at me, nodded and than picking up a small bag and taking out a old worn out jewellery box, she passed it to me.

"This?" I asked confused, holding it in my hand.

"Shivaay" she gave me a small smile and I felt something unpleasant about the topic of our conversation. "This is our khandani kangan."

I opened the red velvet box, indeed there were two gold bangles, designed with Ruby and diamond stones. A moment later realisation hit me, and I just knew why these are so familiar,  my neck snapped at badi maa, "this is mom's..."

Badi maa nodded with a small sad smile. "This is Pinky's Kangan. And since your birth she had wished to make her bahu wear these herself."

Silently, I nodded, still a question roaming in my mind. "So why are you giving me these?"

"So you yourself could make your wife wear them."

Giving mom's bangle, a thing so precious to her and me, to a person which I have known for hardly a month didn't quite felt well. However, I accepted the box and kept it safely back in the bag.

"Shivaay, you know" Badi maa spoke, looking at me with warm eyes, "for me, you four you, Om Ru, Prinku have always been the same. For me you are my eldest son."

I looked up at her, the environment somehow turning into a heavy one. Somehow I'm not good at emotional talks and this time not knowing what else to say I nodded silently and badi maa smiled, giving me that motherly smile, indicating she knows me too well.

She patted my shoulder, asking, "Will you listened to one thing your badi maa asking you now?"

"Offcourse Badi maa, " I nodded positively, promising her "whatever you say."

There was silence as I awaited badi maa to speak, a moment later she said "Give yourself and your new relationship a chance."

It was unexpected.

I blinked, and my forehead furrowed out of tension. Did badi maa know about us, the reality or Anika and mine relationship terms? No. It can't be.

"Shivaay,  you know, when a girl leaves her own house and goes to live with her new family, new relations, different place, she is like reborn in a new place," a pause, she truthfully said, "she has so many wishes, expectations and fear within herself."

"And one thing that make her overcome this new challange of life, and gives her strength is support of her husband. A husband's support and affection could to wonders to her."

Badi maa smiled and patted my hand, " I know it's not easy for you to let someone in. Since your childhood I have known you, and especially after that ..."

Badi maa left it incomplete, we both know what she was about to say and it did only made my hold tighter on box with forehead creased more.

"Anika is a good hearted girl Shivaay, give her a chance and you never know you get your peace striving for."

"Badi maa, I--" I tried explaining, but there was no words I could utter to her.

She stood up, shaking her head and caressed my cheek, with motherly affection. "Just think about it Shivaay."

Silently, I nodded and she left me alone with ragging loud thoughts.

It was later, at night, when I was lying on my bed, pulled out an old photograph from my purse, wishing if mom was there today, she would be the happiest of all. Maybe she would have said the same as Badi maa did.

••||••||••

"Khanna, make sure cards will be checked and not a single  media person should enter inside."

"Yes sir"

"Shivaay," bade papa patted my back, "leave all this tension and enjoy this time. I'll handle everything here."

Khanna was reporting to us. It was finally twenty seventh, in a few hours it's my marriage. I was about to reply bade papa, when I felt a gaze on me and as my eyes raised, it was her standing a distance away looking here. At me.

Anika

She was wearing a suit and cardigan, her hand held her purse. It seems like she was in a rush, going somewhere out of this place. Our eyes got locked, her warm honey brown orbs looking in mine, and she smiled nodding in acknowledgement.

Bade papa called me, "Shivaay, pandit ji is calling me. You go and don't worry about all this. Okay? "

As a reflex, I nodded at her in acknowledgement, while replying to bade papa "ji bade papa."

She went away, rushing to gate, out of door. It was than Khanna was about to go, I ordered him, "Khanna"

"Yes sir"

"Drop Ms Trivedi wherever she wants, safely."

Just for her safety.

Khanna nodded, "sure sir."

An hour later, I was in my room when Haider came to me, followed by Om Ru. Trio were smiling oddly, their hands hiding something behind thier back.

I narrowed my eyes at them, "What are you guys upto now?"

They grinned, Haider forcefully made me settled down on a chair and Rudra held a bowl and Om he took out some light green looking powder from behind him.

"A very important work we are going to do. Now don't interrupt us." Haider commanded, and they put some rose water, some more ingredients and that powder. "Now it's time."

"Wait" I stood up, backing away from them, "look if you are going to use them on me--"

"That we are" Rudra nodded, grinning.

I raised my eyebrows, "Noway I'm going to.put that sticky thing!"

"Yes you will!" Haider said and Om supported him, "Come on Shivaay, it's your marriage man. You have to shine and bright tonight."

"I don't need this!" I exclaimed as they came and made me forcefully sit, "you three! Get off me!"

"Noo"

They exclaimed and than that sticky thing they applied on my cheek. Ew! Yelling, punching, pushing. Nothing worked on them and forcefully they applied on my face and their own too reasoning I should look good as thier Bhabhi will tonight.

It felt awkward, as after fifteen minutes we four sat down their with face masks on our face. Or more like they forcefully held me there. So masculine!

Suddenly I felt the door opened and there, Prinku my little sister was still in her place before, laughing her face off, with her camera ready and clicking multiple pictures. It couldn't be more embarassing than this! Glowering at three of them who now trying to make Prinku delete pictures, I washed that face pack off.

"Bhaiya"

Prinku called me out loud. When I came out of bathroom they were clicking some funny selfies now. I motioned my head at her, questioningly.

She smiled brightly, came to me, showing the camera in front. Getting what she was going to do, "Prinku! I don't like clicking selfies."

She pouted, giving me her innocent looks, "Bhaiya only one selfie, please?"

And she knows, I can't deny her request. I haven't even nodded for approval when she has already started clicking several selfies. Om Rudra, even they after washing there faces came and joined us, meanwhile Haider looked outside the window talking on phone. "Bhiya, O  say cheese"

Two hours laters, my room was filled with dadi, nani, bua, maasi, badi maa, Prinku and basically all our house ladies plus Om Ru. It was five of evening, I was sitting in middle dressed in sherwani and pajami, beneath a pair of juti I have wore after a long time in my life. Whole room filled with murmurings of ladies, their chuckle and talkings. It smelt of various perfumes mixed together.

As per ritual, some kohl was applied to my eyes and now handling me a talvar, a sehra is being tied on my head.

"Haye, puttar. You are looking like Prince today." Dadi complimented, smiling while roaming money around my head.

Nani said something similar, while Prinku agreed and gave me a side hug. Badi maa, came there, happy seeing me, she forwarded a brochure to me. A peacock feather brooch for my pagadi. She pinned it and with motherly love rested her palm on my cheek. "Always stay happy."

I nodded at her slowly, touching her feet in respect. She stopped me with a smile, gave her blessings.

The five minutes walk from my room to just a floor below, in the hall, took almost half an hour. With every step, the photographer was flashing his camera, and on that Om Ru, Prinku. These three posed for hundredth time, along with our all elders.  Even though Prinku was nervous, I'm proud of my sister how well she is handling now.

Dadi, finally warned everyone as the auspicious time started. A small pooja, evening pooja was done downstairs, followed by coconut breaking for a good luck before I was made to sit on a ... Horse?

"Didn't I tell you I'll go in a car! " I hissed at Om, due to noise surrounding us, Om raised his eyebrows confused, so I repeated again.

"Dadi said it's a ritual." He would reasoned and again Dadi, badi maa, bade papa all ushered me and I had to sit on that.

"Billu dulha banega, billu ghodi chadega, billu ki shadi hogi." And Rudra started singing that while dancing and Om he laughed his ass off, special seeing me glaring at Rudra. Dadi badi, maa, maasi everyone who heard started chuckling too.

I haven't even  sat on the horse and there already, the dhol, shehnai, trumpet every instrument started blaring out loud. Everyone cheering. The lights shining brightly, Om Rudra, my distant cousins started bhangra on dhol beats, even they pulled dadi, nani, badi maa bade papa.

They danced, as they had never before. Thier steps screamed happiness, their laugh screamed the joy they were feeling. There was Prinku, who is shy and avoid herself to be in eyes of people, today she danced heartfully in happiness of her bhaiya getting married.

You are doing well. Your family is happy. It's okay. Just few more minutes.

The horse walked slowly as all my family, relatives, friends kept dancing energetically, dhol beat as raised more on Rudy's request their all steps actively increased on rhythm. It was so loud to even hear out the next person saying something.

An hour of round around this palace, and dancing enthusiastically, with many stops taking in between for dancing on dhol, we finally reached on other side of enterance.

It was like, reaching there filled everyone once more with new energy and they started dancing again for another twenty minutes. Meanwhile I looked above, the venue decorated with lights and many prompts, looked surreal palace.

Soon, many crackers were fired, Trivedi's garlanded our side of man and hugged each other in joy.

As I was asked to stepped down and finally to enter inside, I was taken by surprise, when Avantika aunty held my nose. I stepped back and dadi and everyone chuckled, informing me it's a part of ritual and I had to do it.

Behind Avantika Aunty, it seems like everyone of their family, thier relatives and guest were standing and smiling excitedly looking at us.  Avantika aunty did my aarti, I immediately put my hand on my head as she applied tilak.

She stepped aside, behind her everyone else too stepped aside making space in between for us to enter, with flowers in their hand. As I went inside, all my family beside me following, the petals started showering on us, giving us a grand welcome.

It was Ryan and Haider who lead us inside, who may I add a few minutes before were dancing in my baraat. They lead us to a stage where a grand, special sofa seat was kept, in background all decorated with flowers.

"Aur bhaiya, how are you feeling? Nervous?" Rudra asked grinning, while Om chuckled beside me claiming, "Even if he is nervous, you think he will admit that?"

Rudra snickered at that.

"I feel like normal." I said, while they both shook their head in disbelief. Prinku who was standing between them chuckled at their expression.

We were talking on stage, guests coming to meet us and mainly Om- Ru pulling my leg. It was than I saw  Rudra froze in his place looking at other side before he nudged my shoulder, smiling mischievously, signing with his eyes to other side.  I noticed the music in background changed to some soft one, everyone went silent and as I turned, it was the moment my mind registered  and my body was still for a moment.

It was for the first time, instead of normal and composed, I felt lost, my eyes not in control  and it was just her, walking down the aisle.

••||••||••