••||••||••

His lips brushed.....Just his cupid bow  grazed with mines. Barely.

Our breathing mingled.  For a moment. And that moment, my insides felt like exploding the whole of inside me.

His moustache lightly tickled tip of my nose. And I was so numb and lost and too attentive. I didn't care my arms were setting limp now, I didn't know exactly I was in a party. I didn't know what am I doing infront of hundred people. I didn't dare move, not just because he asked.

But what I know was.  I was laying in Mr Oberoi's arm, helpless. His arms holding me in a steel grip, I was completely at his mercy and the fact his lip accidentally brushed mine, in a almost, almost kiss, is the only fact occupying my dizzy mind.

My trance broken as the crowd cheered up loudly.

"Woohoo"

"Happy New Year"

Everyone shouted. Here while I may have lose myself in moment, he was is full control now backed away instantly and helped me too, to stand up.

I blinked, unfocused eyes and I'm not understanding, what's just happened?

I'm breathing hard.

Even if nothing happened.

And he was...he was looking at me. Just me. I quickly took my hand back from his holding, tucking my hairs away.

What the hell is going on today?

And why, in the world he was looking at me, like... almost adoring way. Not so cold, but intently. I looked away, and after sometimes  I didn't feel his gaze upon me.

It was some moments later I understood, how cleverly he fooled everyone else.

I was confused if nothing happened  than  why everyone was cheering for us. It got to me that with hand he was acting to caress my cheek, he actually covered up from crowd. He hold like that for seconds, fooling them we were kissing.

My eyes widened realising what he had done! And more than that I was surprised with myself, why am I not getting back at him for this already.

Although the brushing of our cupid bow, part of lips, which was just for mili second and maybe now doubtful. But that tingling feeling over those part of skin was assuring me it did happen. They were the most sensitive, heated part of body this moment.

Although, down there I felt it's clenching. Awoken in many sense.

I still can't believe this!

Mr Oberoi, my husband almost, almost kissed me. That too in public.

And I'm hell embarassed.

But my heart was going crazy. My curled up fist, tightened.

I don't know how am I going to face my own people. There were Om Ru Prinku Gauri Saumya Mallika. And zizu. How am I supposed to talk to him now. I have no ending tease from them!

This Shivaay he has crossed his limit tonight... Without making me feel all tingly and blushing and embarassed. I don't know what all!

Around me, it's messing with my mood seeing everyone now  jumping, dancing and some were even blasting the balloons. And here Shivaay, was looking all coolly, far from interested, shoulders still held high, buzy on his phone. Just like nothing happen.

Does he felt nothing? Or is this the way of avoiding me! Oh no Mister, you are going to--

And before I could question him, a girl  which earlier I remember was eyeing Shivaay different from other, in almost creepy way, now pulled Shivaay by his arm. Forcefully.

Hell, who is she now?

And Shivaay, he just looked calm and composed, staring the woman. This much I understood, he expected this and know this woman.

She hissed, "So, it's real."

Shivaay whom I thought is ever so cold, rude but he used different tone with her. A calm one, "yes, it is."

"Why, Shivaay, why?" She had in her eyes, the pain of betrayal and face changing into broken one.

Shivaay looked at her, tried saying something but seeing her accusing him he stepped back and stood a step away from her. Here I interrupted them, "Excuse me? Who are you?"

The woman, looked at me. Not with hatred but just simple gaze. Her gaze return back to Shivaay. The questions in them raising.

The woman looks sophisticated, classy and beautiful just like goddess. It was her natural features so attractive. Her breakdown surprised me, when an hour ago, she was smilingly congratulating to me.

"Anika, she is Naina Rai, my...my--" Shivaay, for first time didn't seem sure. I suspiciously looked at them both. His ex girlfriend or what?

"Friend. An old friend." Naina softly spoke. Her eyes rimmed red, and a smile that almost looked real formed on her preety face. " I'm sorry for interrupting like this, Mrs Oberoi. I should leave now."

And she turned on her heels, before I could say anything and  went away. Here Shivaay gazed at her retreating figure, a worried expression in his eyes but hardened soon, before looking at me and simply turned around.

It just made me more angry. What is going on. The almost kiss, than this girl and now he is showing his back to me. Instead of answering.

I walked to him snatched his phone up. His gaze snapped at me, glaring. "What the hel.."

He didn't able to complete as I gave him a serious look. "We need to talk!"

And  holding his wrist, pulled him away from all, at secluded area, in privacy.

"Who was she?" I asked him, looking in his eyes, raising my brows,  "your ex?"

He averted his gaze, jaw hardened. Before he looked at me with oceanic orbs, intensely, "She told you, she is an old friend."

"Doesn't look like." I narrowed my eyes at him. " I'm not an idiot Shivaay. If you are with her, cheating on---"

He instantly held my arms, in a vice grip, as if a string I had pulled inside him, he looked at me and snapped "I'm not having an extramarital affair," than slowly added, "nor will ever stoop that low ."

I tried to take my hand back. He back up, looking at me than other side. I asked him, "Is she just an old friend to you?"

"Why are you so interested in knowing?" He got back, politely. Than blamed, "eh, or are you jealous?"

I frowned, shaking my head in disbelief, "Noo! Why would I be?" Added with assurance, "Just curious to know our guest."

He analysed me, "it's sufficient to know that she is an old friend of mine."

"Who will accuse you," I added deliberately, with a smile, "and question you, and have betrayal in her eyes reflecting because of you."

He warned me than, straightening up, with his eyes went ice cold. "Don't interefere in my life, Anika. You have no rights to ask me such questions."

I glared him. The nerves of him. It was on my tongue to retaliate I'm your wife, I have every right. But we both know, what our agreement was.

And this moment, it seems like a touchy topic. He reacted like he never had and than....

Letting that girl topic go, I asked him another thing, burning my mind.

"Fair enough. Now, explain" I deadpanned. "Explain the stunt you just pulled out there and kissed me, publicly."

How ironical. This time instead of him cornering me, I was cornering him with my glare.

"I didn't kiss you" he said that, looking in my eyes and his gaze went down on my face before he looked away.

"But you made everyone thinking like... you passionately kissed me. Why would you give into stupid demand of them?"

What's this clenching feeling around my stomach. Am I hurt he didn't actually do that? No... I mentally frowned at myself.
I'm just angry. He left me embarassed. He may not feel anything. But I'm feeling the burning sensation of... unknown.

He glanced at me, questioning, "So why are you upset? You're upset about that I  kissed you or more upset about I kissed you, publicly."

"You.." I snarled. "Both. I'm upset because you and I agreed to certain terms and well, today doesn't seem like you keep your end of bargain well."

"It's what their demand. And we agreed to act happy infront of all. A happy couple act, as you call." He shot back my words.

My fist tightened, "that's different. You-.. you know how embarassed am I feeling right now? Do you have any idea."

He snapped,  "kissing me, was a embarassment to you?"

I got flushed.  "No-..not that, it's..." I groaned, glanced upward, sideways and chose my words carefully, looking at him.  "I'm not comfortable with all this extreme pda stuff. Even for showing off," I added, "you may not care about the world. I care what they think or... I'm just not comfortable at all Shivaay."

I looked away, "I don't know how am I going to face our family. I'm sure the newspaper would have it tomorrow at front page. It's just..."

I stopped, as he cut me off telling me, "It won't be published."

"Doesn't matter, our cousins already witnessed. Their mouth are enough." I sighed. "I don't understand how you would really gave into public demand like this. I assumed you of a very reserved person."

I looked down, backing away.  He didn't leave. Moment of silence passed.

"That you assumed right," He started, I looked up, who was already looking at me, "I am a reserved person." He this time, looked at side while confessing, "It's Haider tricked me into it."

Zizu?

"Zizu?" I asked surprised.

"The woman you met," he seems like he isn't used to talk like this. Or explaining himself. But he tried, and confessed, "had certain feelings for me, for years and I didn't expect her to be here today. I wasn't aware she is still waiting... she was sure this marriage is just a show off."

Naina loves Shivaay?  Oh. As if it wasn't quite clear tha.

"She knows you well than." I concluded.

He looked other side in answer. His angular jaw in my view.

"Do you... Like feel for her too?" I asked almost in whisper. And for some reason, I felt my back was burning and every breath of mine I could count.

"Not like that." His eyebrows scrunched up than told me irritably, "She is... was just a friend."

I got the idea he doesn't want to talk about it.  I licked my dried bottom lip and thought about them for a moment before asking him, "zizu? How zizu tricked you in all this."

"Haider, he was sure, we aren't for real. We have a deal. It's hard to make him understand. He suggested to prove we're in love so Naina could leave. And well, after this he'll also believe in us."

I frowned, now curiousity arising. "And why is that? How are you so sure, with just a kiss he would think of us real?"

Mr Oberoi looked intently at me, "because..." Silence, a few moments.

"Because?" I streched, "Go on."

"Because I haven't been involved with a girl like this" he confessed, hesitantly. And here my mind thought throughout his every word. Does he mean, he didn't ever kiss? Or he haven't been with any girl? Before I could ponder more, he added "and he knows very well. If I am involving and he himself saw it, he trust completely on our relationship. And his trust was important, or else," he narrowed his eyes making me look at him questioningly, "he swear, for you he would fight me down too."

Zizu will fight for me

A warm tug at my heart.

Mr Oberoi gave me a plain look, I ignored his every other line. And asked him curiously "By involve did you mean, you haven't kissed any girl?"

I spoke  fast and awaited.

"With my whole explanation, you catched upon this?"

"Oh, no." I shook my head, straightening up "I mean, yeah zizu can be over protective for me sometime. But that doesn't approve your way of proving him to be right."

Did Mr Oberoi had not involved in physical relationship ever....

Oh shut up Ani. Bad! Bad thoughts you are getting! Shoo away! Remember you need to warn him!

I showed him a finger, narrowed my eyes "Never ever repeat that stunt ever. Got it?"

He with his finger held mine, downing that and glowered, clearly stating,"Trust me, I'm not interested also."

And with that, he went away, leaving me alone with the hurt for some unknown reasons staging at my heart.

••||••||••

"Finally, I got you" I exclaimed, making zizu's eyes widened in surprise.

"You aren't going to leave me, are you?" He sip his coffee.

I shook my head, "you know me. Now tell me."

"What?"

"Zizu?"

"Hm"

"Enough of aloofness. Now spit it out. What are you hiding? You and Shivaay being friends, and we never knew about it. And now you are acting all secretive. What's so big deal in this?"

He signed, "I don't want to say. But I think you should know this." Rather he added "but before that you need to tell me something."

I got attentive. "What?"

"About you and Shivaay?"

"What about us?" I asked knowingly. I have an idea where he might be going but I acted all clueless.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, I know both of you. I know him like back of my hand. He is unpredictable  many of times but about relationships, his thinking none can know better than me."

"What's his thinking about relationships?" I frowned.

Zizu said "that..." He cut himself off and shut his mouth before shaking his head and rather ask me. "Leave that. You tell me, so you have accepted this new relationship, Shivaay?"

"Yeah, offcourse."

"Pardon?"

He carefully analyzed me, I averted my gaze finally. "It's a new relationship, I'm trying."

"Trying what?" He challanged.

I said, calmly "understanding everything. "

"Understanding Shivaay?"

"Offcourse, he is my husband. I'm trying to understand him as well."

Zizu chuckled on this, finished his coffee and pointed towards the seat. We settled down, he than concluded "you are lying."

"And why would I be?" I challenged. Even though, I am aware zizu was one among when Mallika and Ryan couldn't even realise what am I hiding or its my sadness or when I am hurt but zizu, he is Sherlock Holmes, as I used to call him. As he was the one to detect my lie instantly. He care about me as his real sister and well, he is over protective so much that, even Mallika is dating him or Ryan could flirt with any girl but in his eyes not a boy was highly suitable enough for me, for his sister. In college times, I remember after my own mistakes I am not proud of, he was the one, so serious, so much protective, to not let a man around me, to not let me get hurt ever again.

He instead of answering looked at his watch. It's  one am,  he told me "Mallika and I are leaving in approximately half an hour. And I don't know when we'll meet again like this. I suppose I have only this time to tell you all."

I nodded. "So you tell me, whatever you are hiding."

He this time shook his head on my stubbornness. "You remember our college time?"

"You asked the same yesterday and I asked you the specifics you are referring."

"Okay" he exhaled, "you knew at that time I had lot of friends?"

"Oh, yes. How can I forget that... half of University were your friends, including all girls, and Mallika's jealousy." I remember the time, although he was in different University, but his popularity was all over. He himself became popular in our college with his regular meeting with Mallika.

He chuckled, "and you remember my roommate? I always talked about."

"Oh yeah, I didn't remember his name. But that loner, nerd?"

He blinked and frowned, "he wasn't that."

I scoffed, "oh please zizu, I remember that person very well." I didn't even try to sugarcoat my dislike. "who was too egoistic to even come and meet us for once. Well, Mallika always hated him, and you considered him as your good friend." I shook my head at those memories. He was such a person, who wouldn't attend party, who would always be engrossed in his studies, who would disrespect girls, but for zizu, he was best. Screw his intelligence. "Oh I remember, Mr buzybee, we used call him."

Zizu hesitated before asking, "And you remember what I used to call him?"

I looked up, thought hard than shook my head. "naa, not really. How does he matter now?"

"It does." Zizu said, courageously than "Singh. I referred him as Singh, since we met in hostel."

"Singh?"

"Yeah," He nodded, biting his cheek, trying to prevent his blooming laughter. "Singh"

"Singh" I breath the name.  Mind initially confused, as in hundred years couldn't expect this thing and now shakingly, it connected everything.

Singh

Singh Oberoi.

"Wait. Wait." I blinked, my body freezing and this time not because of cold. "You mean..."

Zizu nodded hesitantly, before everything hitting me up.

So where's buzybee? This time also refused and meet us, huh? How can you take his side Haider, that boy didn't even respected our invitation. It's fine he didn't want to meet us, we aren't also interested! That girl, I heard faced the wrath of busybee. Poor buzybee, any girl who will marry him will be the unluckiest. Again that buzybee topped, why ain't I surprised?

"Noooo" I disbelievingly uttered. Slowly, glaringly I asked zizu, "Are you saying, Mr buzybee, your Singh, is same as Shivaay Singh Oberoi?"

"Yes" He carefully shifted back, as if afraid I'll explode.

"How can--" I was shocked. Utterly, bitterly shocked to my core. Never in my wild imagination I have thought that Buzybee one day would be my husband. "Does Mallika know?"

Mallika has different hatred reason towards him. He hadn't attended their wedding and she saw Haider zizu upset like that for first time. Zizu has full expectations, but his best friend had ruined that.

Zizu shook his head "noo. I don't want her to know also. She is happy with the things is right now, I don't want to ruin it."

I covered my face with my palm, groaned tiredly. My mind still trying to wrap around the fact, that one man I pity all my life for the girl he would have, now suddenly turned out to be my husband? Our time University topper, Mr perfectionist in all fields, the nerd, the rude boy of all.

Karma. Truly realising it's power.

"It's hard to believe." I said, looking at zizu.

He nodded. "I understand. I'm well aware what you used to think about him, and now that you know I don't know what all you might be setting parameters to judge him."

"What's there to judge? He is same as old times. I now believe invented the right name buzybee! Still egoistic, silent, workaholic and moreover no zeal to enjoy life."

"Well, that's preety rude of you to say." I gave him a look, my life altering truth I just realised. He added after a sigh, looking at me, "don't think like that. Time changes, people changes."

"Yeah, normal people."

"Anika, I swear I'm not taking anyone of your side but I have noticed the changes in both of you. I have noticed him before this, and noticed after you came into his life. And same with you."

I looked at him, uninterested said "really?"

"You both push each other buttons. You affect him and he affects you. Haven't you noticed yourself?"

The last interaction with him, about an hour sgo I remember and the anger returns back.

"The thing I noticed is only, he makes me angry like no one else. And he gets affected by me? From where you got this?"

And a second later after saying this I realised what am I saying about my husband. Zizu doesn't really know truth about our relationship.

"Someone is having a hot temper, I see." He asked than, "Did you guys fight?"

Offcourse, he'll know.

"Not really." I sighed, not wanting to give him any idea. "About what you said  it's just our starting, aren't you already making big assumptions."

"I'm making the truth point out." He said and I rubbed my palms over my arm.  A few moments of silence later. "Trust me, when I say all my life I haven't seen a single girl getting his attention but you, he care about you."

I looked at him. Suddenly the confession of Shivaay I remember, when he declared he doesn't care about me. And few moments before he only said 'trust me I'm not interested also'.  I just shrugged my shoulders off, exhaling. How to tell zizu, what's the truth?

But he continued, chuckling. "You still don't believe me." He declared and himself said, "you'll but. One day, you'll see yourself. For now you tell me," he looked at me concerned, the serious look, " have you accepted this marriage by heart?"

I didn't look away. He is aware of my relationship traumas. The way I think about it. I should have seen this coming.

"We are already married, zizu? What more acceptance do I have to give?"

"Seriously? You're asking me this?" He stared me, like a brother does to reveal the truth.

"I'm trying. Okay. Jeez. I'm trying to understand myself and everything. I'm trying to adjust for now. Now don't give me that look."

"Good, atleast you accepted that." He inhaled, sitting straight. We both were silent, he was sipping his coffee and I'm still wrapping my mind around the new facts. Around us, people were eating, dancing. I couldn't see any familiar face for now.  Than he started saying, "you know why I did always used to take side for Shivaay when ever everything he does had annoyed you both?"

I ponder over this question, not the first time but most of it since college time. I chuckled lightly, unhappily. "I didn't ever understand that. Even when you were upset sometimes, you always did take his side."

Zizu gave me a small smile, it was like he was going to talk about something he never did. "I didn't ever need to prove my best friend in my life, like I'm going to now." He added plainly, "Truthfully, he doesn't really cared about you both at University time, but me."

"Oh, wow." Added later,  "We haven't even done something to offend him. As far as I remember."

Zizu pressed his lips tight, nodding but a frown forming on his forehead.

"No you haven't, or Mallika hadn't." He confirmed, and he told me as if explaining me a maths complicated theory. "That's the thing, that man doesn't care about the world. In University time, may be he never did something special that a best friend task we all expect. But he always took care, that I never lag behind in my studies, or project work that I wasn't ever serious about." He became serious as he say. "It was his sort of way, to make sure or you call care. Today also he wouldn't admit he care about me, but when you see his actions. When you see today also the best of deals, he gave no one but reserve for me. It just shows he care. Words, Anika, Don't go on words. See the person Actions. We men, specially unlike you girls, I admit lack in that sense."

"Won't say against this."

"Hey, not all man are same." He added further, "Clearly if I tell you, you might have trust issues for now. Whatever happened with you in past, it's just a trust hurdle you're facing." He chose his words carefully. I felt myself straightening up.  "it's just a trust hurdle you're facing.And I, I assure you as your brother, Shivaay won't ever do that kind of thing. I know this much of  him, to take guarantee."

I always have hesitated to talk about this. I always had my doubts if Shivaay will ever disrespect me or force himself upon me. But whenever I saw him how much he respect his own family and than how he treats maa, I see a person he can't be of my nightmares.  So I clearly told zizu, "I know, I trust him enough to not..." The sentence itself left in whispers.

Zizu nodded in understanding, "So, I was saying, it's just trust hurdle you are facing, a step away to give this relationship a chance. But for him..." He bite his lip, before exhaling. "How should I explain it?" He contemplated, like it's very thing he wants me to know, he wants me to understand this. "You see, you may believe you just had to find a key for this relationship to work, but for him the door doesn't even exist."

I may believe in key, but for him door doesn't even exist? "What a twisted way to explain, zizu!"

He smiled, "there's no other way I can make you explain. I felt this conversation is much needed for you. He may not understand, but I believe you'll and give this relationship a go, with all your heart." He looked at his watch, exhaling tiredly "and here its my time now."

"This soon?" I commented but my inner thought were in a mess. "Zizu?"

"Hm?"

"Why would you say like I may find the key and he doesn't even believe in the door?"

He opened his mouth, than shut it.

Than clearly I lay down, "He doesn't believe in relationships, at all?"

His silence was only thing I got in answer. But he said later, "I wouldn't deny, he is a.. difficult person to understand, to go with, to have a relationship at all." Zizu looked at me, his brown eyes saying the truth. "He has this strong veil, he never let it down to anyone. Not even me, who has seen everything and lived meaningful time with him than anyone else." A smile tug on his lip, "but I see a change with you, and I'm sure you'll surpass all the challanges."

He said with so much confidence, that for once he left me in thoughts. Can I really make this relationship work? I dunno. I really don't.

The key, I understand the trust and that only grows with time. I can't just do it with closed eyes. But it doesn't mean I distrust him. But he? He has already made this clear, he wouldn't expect anything out of me, out of this marriage. It doesn't even mean anything to him. And now zizu clearly indicated, he doesn't believe in that door. In this relationship. In marriage.

"Remember actions, not words." Zizu emphasized once more before standing up and calling Mallika.

I stood up, leaning to table and all those people around me blurred out. The sound, the loud music, everything didn't matter.

First of all I couldn't believe he is that same Mr Buzybee, all my life had been on as criticism on my tongue.

"Come, they are all outside." Zizu guided me. The garden area here at backside of hall that I didn't see earlier. Just noticed it decorated, among the party people here, from one corner I saw Mallika Gauri and Saumya are coming and from other side, Shivaay Om-Ru Prinku. The last hour, of all the teasings and my burning face I remember, specially Mallika. I glared her now, but she came and cooed me like a baby, making others laugh.

"It's getting already late, Shouldn't we all also head home." Om suggested, everyone instantly agreeing.

But Rudra, "my friends are still here, I can't leave. I'll come in morning. Sumo, you staying?"

"I also should get going Rudra." Saumya gave him a apologetic smile, "Aai already called me twice."

"Don't worry, Saumya. I'll drop you" and looking at Gauri adorably "and Gauri."

"But bhaiya.."

Even Saumya tried arguing, Shivaay said in his no argue back tone. "No Saumya, Om is right. It's already so late. He'll drop you. Om?"

Om nodded, with last goodbyes and happy new year wishes to Mallika and zizu, went on his way with Gauri and Saumya.

Mallika and zizu walked ahead, as Shivaay and I walked few steps behind.

Now I couldn't look at him without thinking I knew him since University time. That to not in a good way. And than our almost kiss. The scene was so intimate for me, those moment I just couldn't able to take my mind off. 

I rubbed my palm over arm, contemplating to say it to Shivaayor not. I looked at him, "Shivaay?"

He looked back, in answer. Awaiting.

"I want to go drop Mallika, zizu to airport. Can we, please?" I asked politely, looking in his eyes. 

Most chances are he may dismiss or argue it's already late or I should say my goodbyes now only.

However, to my surprise, he slightly moved his head, up and down. A nod. A approval.

I smiled, happy.

When Mallika thought she was leaving, and hugged me  with face all sullen. I tightly embraced her, meanwhile telling in her ears, we are coming to drop them. And the smile that came on her face, was something priceless.

Zizu side hugged her, as both were happy and surprised with our decision. The suitcases and their bags were already in one of Oberoi's car. Shivaay took the keys from driver, himself on driver seat. Mallika and Haider snuggled at back. And there goes my plan to spend some time with my sister. I exhaled sitting in passenger seat, carefully handling saree.

The car zoomed, in darkness, on lone road. Surprisingly none of us talked. It was all quite. In between, my gaze went to mirror, to see Zizu and Mallika sitting closely, hands clasped and her head resting on his shoulder while he held her protectively. I averted my gaze to side, only see Shivaay's eyes flicking to mirror before it averted to front. Once again I saw them, before looking outside and thinking about three days before, when unexpectedly I was snuggling next to Shivaay, felt all comfortable. And I just deep down wish to have that more. Seeing Mallika Haider, I wish to have that sort of relationship. That closeness. That understanding.

And surprisingly my mind only seem to show one face, I'm willing to see myself with.

Shivaay.

My own husband.

"Where are you lost, we have already reached.  Don't you want to see them off now?" Shivaay asked.

I looked at him and than noticed Mallika and zizu taking their bags out. I quickly came out of car, saw zizu and Shivaay now talking and here I hugged Mallika tightly.

"Promise me you'll reply me on time."

I chuckled, only Mallika could say that sort of thing.

"Promise me, you'll talk to me, whenever needed."

She doesn't need to specifically say it's in zizu's case. The tension they were having this week.

She nodded, "I promise."

We parted from hug, she went to Shivaay. Her banter of jiju jiju started and here zizu and I met.

He grinned, "Lost in thoughts?"

I playfully hit him on arm, "Don't even ask."

"Atleast you'll think about it and maybe, genuinely, with heart, think about it, giving it a go, will you?"

I chuckled, at his drama and nodded. "I'm thinking. But I have so many things I want to ask you. I want to know." I hesitantly added, "About him."

He nodded, "you can talk to me, anytime you want. But," he added, "if it's 'why' related I'll say, let time give you your answers."

I already assumed that much. Why is he like this? was my question. And I guess, I myself had to search answers for that.

"Why do you so hell bent to make me understand, I mean whatever you told me today, have you ever said to anyone..."

He cut me off, "Naa, if you intending to ask, if he had any girl and I told her all this. Than No."

I quietly asked, "and Naina?"

Zizu looked than said, "so you met?"

I nodded.

"Don't worry about that." He assured me, like a brother and nodded at me.

We walked ahead at enterance of airport, " I already told you, you are first one I see the change in him. Chances of this relationship to work. And offcourse, I am wellwisher for both of you. So, I want you two genuinely come together, inspite of whatever deal you two had."

Why am I not surprised, he know about the deal? However I was tongue tied. And zizu noticed it, only saying, smirking, "Shivaay and deal, goes everywhere."

"It's not like that" I tried denying, but who am I kidding.

"I trust you" He said, meanwhile turned on his heel, called Mallika, who was certainly buzy, giving tips to Shivaay. "Come on, it's time!"

With last hug, they waved their hand and get lost among the crowd. I kept standing seeing the last bit, rubbing both my arms.

"Come on. It's already late. We shall also get going." Shivaay said, and started walking to car.

Suddenly, it may be because of talk with zizu, I am noticing each and everything about him. How he switched on the heater as we settled inside, the direction were on already my side set. Maybe while sitting earlier he did this and I didn't even notice.

Actions, not words!

Zizu's words echoed in my mind like some mantra.

I shook my head. Maybe I'm thinking a lot. The silence here was killing me. Why is he always so silent? Can't he ever talk randomly?

"By the way, Happy New Year." I said out loud, "I didn't wish you earlier..." due to our almost kissing stunt.

He, as cold he is ever, just nodded and said, "same to you."

Sadu

A little tea stall, I saw from this far away at corner of road.

"Stop, stop, stop"

"Why?" He asked.

"Ary stop." I  exaggerated.

He finally stopped at safe corner.

"Come, let's go." I said on my back as I stepped outside.

"Now where are you going at this hour?" He asked, even though stepped down with me. "Anika?"

I looked back at him, than pointed at stall, "Don't you think it's too cold and a cup of tea would be nice?"

"You want tea, Now?" He gave me a look as if I have lost my mind to Nigeria fall. " No, we're going home. Have it there. It's not safe at this time. Come on." He started going back.

"Noo" I deadpanned. "It's not too dangerous and than..." I stated, "who could hit me, when you are with me. Can they?"

For a moment he just looked at me, the eyes had similar expressions when I told him earlier whatever I said to media was truth. However,  taking it as a challange, he asked me "Why to take a risk?"

I started walking, and I heard a sound coming from back of his throat, before I saw him coming, beside me.

That made me grin. But I didn't dare utter a word and risked changing his decision.

This was some old tea stall, however it was clean. The old man, making the tea, wearing the monkey cap and shawl. While the little teenage boy in this cold serving it to a guest there, reading newspaper.

There were only two benches, one occupied by newspaper man and snacks hanging above. Other was clean, still the fog made it wet with little droplets.

"Mam sahab, sir ji, welcome, welcome." The old man,  greeted and than ordered little boy, "chotu, clean the bench. Quick."

It seems like here is lack of customer, and this old man, seems excited and needy to have one. However they kept looking at our expensive clothes.

On the other hand Shivaay, unsurprisingly was against it. "We're not sitting here. Take your tea and come on we are going to car."

The old man heard it, instantly his face fell down. I passed him a soothing smile, "uncle ji, do adrak wali chai please."

And ordering so, I sat down.  However, Shivaay kept standing and looked around himself attentive.  He ordered the old man, "Only one tea and pack it. We'll take away."

The old man, looked confused, "sir ji, take away? We don't pack."

I pulled Shivaay's hand, making him forcefully sit with me, who glared at me hard but lastly sat down close to me due to small space on this wooden bench.

"Don't worry, uncle ji. You prepare two teas, we'll have it here. And yes, one Cheetos also."

"I don't drink tea." He coldly told me. Looking at me, and hands juggling his phone.  He was sitting too straight and tensed.

I shook my head, put my hand on his, stopping him in between. "Relax,"I said softly, "One day if you would have tea, it won't kill you. And moreover, it's New Year. Let's celebrate tonight!"

He visibly calmed down. Not much but his stance relaxed and as our sides were touching, I felt him exhaling a deep breath. "Like this?"

I grinned, "it's Anika's style."

"It's very cheap."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh just shut up and enjoy the moment."

I took my hand back, as chotu bought the teas. It was a very small cup, glass cup. I took both of them, and he went back to take a packet of Cheetos.

"Hm" I forwarded one to Shivaay. "Mm, it smells so good, no?"

He didn't accept it. He eyed that glass and than at me. Clearly his face said, like he would never really go for this in his life.

"Ah Shivaay, my hand is burning! It's too hot. Come on, hold it."

And he instantly held the cup and when about to take mine also, I grinned backing my hand away "No, that isn't so hot."

He frowned, "you tricked me?"

I smiled widely, "well, that worked."

I was about to take a sip when remembered, "oh"

And I cheered our cup, happily saying "to 2021, happy new year!"

He didn't say it back. Shook his head lightly, and about to put his cup beside the bench. When I held his hand, "na-ah! You can't waste it. Come on it's getting cold, drink it while it's hot. Or else, it won't be that tasty."

"I am not going to have it." He deadpanned.

"Yes, you are. It's a new year peg for us. I know you don't drink alcohol but let's celebrate with it. Or at least for that kid, working there with all his hard work."

His gaze moved to that kid, who in deed was working hard. He may look little but his age I assume to be fifteen or around that.

I took a sip. Yum it was so tasty. In this cold, it's best. But Shivaay, he eyed me like I'm having world's dirtiest thing. When he is eyeing me like this, I can't imagine him having by himself.

He didn't had it, offcourse and if I pressurized one more time, he warned me, "you enjoy here, I'm going in car than."

And I shut my mouth, not forcing him anymore.  Chotu fired up a small bonfire in between, I scurried more towards it, warming my hands up and enjoying the tea.  But all the time in this quietness the things kept sprinting than and there back and now.

Shivaay's sudden honeymoon gesture. The media talk. The dance and almost kiss stunt. Naina, the love is clearly witnessed in her eyes. Zizu's talk. Former one mostly ran through my mind. The confession, Shivaay is someone I knew from before personally, just shook my mind. And than the key, door, action, word, all the twisted way zizu told me, made me understand, made me conflicted to take a decision.

"Do you know, we knew each other already, before even meeting for this alliance?" I asked my gaze burning with fire.

I didn't look at him but heard his reply, "I knew."

I tilted my face, awaited for more.

"The moment I saw Mallika, at your place just before engagement. I knew you were the same Ani, Haider talked about."

"What would he talked about?" I asked surprised.

"During University time, general things." And he detailed me.

I nodded, still a question burning inside me to spit out and know the answer. "Can I ask you something?"

He raised an eyebrow, "you already are."

"It's personal" I warned him.

"Than it depends, you'll get an answer or not." He awaited.

"All our college life," I started slowly, cautiously. "We knew zizu. He often came to meet Mallika. And you were his best friends, he would talk about." I put my now empty  cup beside me, continuing  "But whenever there were some occasion, or party, or we would plan an outing, you never joined us. You ignored us. Even when once we invited you, you just said no without giving any reasons. Why?"

He didn't answer. Not right away. He looked at me than at fire before starting speaking.

"I wasn't and I am not a party person." A pause. "When students were buzy wasting there time, I prefer to make it useful and use it to study. I had courses to attain and  responsibilities to fulfil, and making friends or interacting was last thing on my to do list." He explained, like it still isn't a big deal for him.

"You didn't even had a day, like for normal day out?" I asked  raising both my eyebrows.

"I had just four hours to sleep. Hardly a day in a year to meet my own family."

I blinked, surprised " Why?"

"How do you think the Oberoi Industries, is here on top, is possible? It's smart  hard work, discipline, give up on pleasure of life at that time, made me where I am." Shivaay told me, and for once there wasn't his ego speaking. It's the much deserved right, he has gained with which he is speaking.

I don't know what to say, except. "That's a hard life."

"You have no idea." He quietly said and looked other way.

I didn't ask him more. Knowing if told me this much, it's enough than pushing him more. Though curiousity about Naina was killing me. Who is she or how much they know or are they in relationship, maybe cheating. But Shivaay doesn't look like that kind of guy. And if I asked these questions, he would I know shut me up like earlier. And well that's right also, I shouldn't interfere in his life. That was deal we had. No expectations, no interference.

I looked at uncle ji, asking him "One more chai please, uncle ji. It was tasty."

Uncle ji nodded, passing me a satisfied smile. Meanwhile I opened up the packet, which I almost forgot earlier.

"You just had tea, you want more?" Shivaay's brow pulled together.

I left the packet, with my thumb and finger planed out the crease between his forehead. He instantly held my hand, bringing it back, and asking "what are you doing?"

"The crease!" I pointed towards his forehead, "it didn't look nice, honestly. So I was sorting it out."

Instead he asked, "it's already two, we should be get going."

"But why?" I asked amused, "it's New year, the world is still up. We don't have offices and family know all were enjoying the party. Why can't  we just be here, stop worrying and enjoy this moment?"

"We have much enjoyed already and who said we don't have office tomorrow. I have work."

I rolled my eyes. "That you always have. Nothing new in this."

"Anika?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up and pick your things, we're going back. It's already past two."

"Atleast, let me have my tea. And here," I opened the packet, picked out the Cheetos myself and put in his mouth.

He glared at me, chewing that snack with distaste as if I had given him some poison. This man! If he had poison, he would than also consider it in much healthy and richi rich dish! "Don't ever do this to me!"

"Isn't it tasty?" I had one Cheetos myself. The cheesy snake reminding me of my childhood days.

"It's disgusting, and so unhealthy,  infact you shouldn't eat these things."

"Shut up, it's so so tasty that kind of reminds me of my childhood days." I shook my head, smiling. "Mallika, Ryan and I would always fight over this snack. It was our all time favourite."

On the contrary, Shivaay had that emotionless face and looked at fire again in front of us. He doesn't seem much happy to talk about childhood. Or it can be even about Ryan. He doesn't like him either.

To change the topic, I started, "You know what name we had for you in college time?"

"Noo" he said, still looking in front.

"Mr Buzybee." I chuckled, "You were always so buzy, and always so angry.  Zizu used to tell us you always had your anger on top whenever people mess with you."

"People had this wierd habbit to poke in others business. And I certainly hate this thing." He said it coolly, before looking at me. Or was it a indirect warning. And zizu says he care. He just threatens, not care.

Chotu came with tea, his hand shaking a lot with this dropping temperature. I gripped the cup myself, but the snacks oil I had on my hand made it sliperry.

"Careful!"

Shivaay warned, before cup slipped from chotu's hand and mine hand and tea almost slipped on me. Before a hand interrupted, took the hot boiling tea on himself, saving me from burning.

"Shivaay!"

I panicked.

"Bring some cold water. Quick!" I ordered chotu, who nearly cried and ran  to grab some water.

Shivaay's hand, was turning red. I held it carefully, glaring him, scolding "what had you done? Your hand, it must be burning." I shouted agian to other side, "Chotu, Quick!"

"I'm alright, Anika. Let it be." Shivaay said, still composed. He hasn't even flinched.

I didn't listen to him, kept blowing on his hand. He tried taking his hand back, but I glared him hard, "Be quiet. Let me handle this."

He didn't try again.

Chotu brought the water in a bowl. I held Shivaay's hand and put it in it, as well as mine. The water was ice cold. It was my instinct to put my hand out but against it, I tried soothing Shivaay's burn.

"It's alright. You don't have to be concerned about this." Shivaay tried again.

Not listening to him, I took my hanky out, dry his hand up and than walked to uncle ji. Paying him a generous amount in name of new year even though he argued, I walked back to Shivaay.

We silently walked to car. I stopped at driver's seat, "Gimme the keys"

"No, I'm driving."

"Shivaay, don't argue with me, your hand must be burning up. Just gimme the keys."

I forwarded my hand.

"It's alright-" he tried arguing.

"I can drive. Trust me. I drive daily. Now give me the keys or else--"

He cocked his eyebrow challanging, "or else?"

I crossed my hand, "I won't be coming with you."

"Really? And that would threaten me?"

"It must, you know how stubborn I can be."

"Don't challange me, in seconds I can make you sit in car."

Remember his hand! If you don't sit, he will undoubtedly pick you up. Calmly handle this. Be calm!

"Shivaay, it's already because of me your hand is in this condition and it will worry me if you strain that hand. Please give me the keys." I softly said and forwarded my hand. My eyes, lost all sense of humour, he may see in there I'm serious right now.

"Just this one time." He muttered and gave me his keys.

I drove silently, my eyes wondering to his hand than and now as he examined himself. It was whole red. I fear, this may cause him ulcers till morning.

We reached home, everything was utterly  quite. The gatekeeper, was surprised to see me on driving seat. I gave him the keys, and without waiting, I went upstairs, searching for burning spray or any tube.

I don't have any.

He came after few minutes. I asked him, "Do you have a burning spray or any ointment?"

He looked at me surprised, the medicine box all spattered around on bed. Even though he was about to comment on that, he simply said, "No. It's in kitchen."

I nodded, about to go kitchen but he called me out saying, "Don't. It's late and with noise everyone might get up."

I looked at his hand, it's turning more red.  It just left me with one solution so I went to washroom and brought the home remedy out.

"Sit down" I asked him patting on bed.

He obliged, looking at me with a insignificant frown. I took his hand, carefully.

He didn't take it back. But just said in a low voice, "it's alright. You're worried for nothing."

I glared him, took the toothpaste out but Shivaay argued, "I'm not applying that."

I deadpanned, "oh, but I am."

"Anika, seriously. You had your enough wishes fulfilled today." He took his hand back but I kept in place. "Leave it."

"It's the best home remedy. It'll instantly sooth out the burn. Just trust me."

However he made me work hard for it, I applied the paste on his hand.

"No one is going to know. Now stop behaving like a baby and co-operate!"

I tried opening the sleeves cufflinks, but it won't be helpful as his coat cause the hurdle. I stood up on my feet.

"Take off your coat." I told him. And already held the coat sleeve carefully not to get it spoiled by paste on his back of hand.

Without argument, he took his coat off. I helped him. Folding his sleeves I saw his wrist and gasped.

It was bad. So bad.

That part hadn't even cooled off with water earlier. It must be burning so much. His fair skin, is all deep red.

"You shouldn't have done this." I said, a regret inside me crawling.

"It's not your fault" he voiced out, and I felt his intense gaze following every move, silently.

"Offcourse, it is. And I'm sorry also." I said quietly, putting the paste carefully around his wrist. For once I felt him flinch, like pulling his hand back. I blowed  the cool breath over his burning area, the mint in toothpaste must be soothing more.

"It was just an accident. And leave this, it's alright. Don't..." He added, "just worry about it."

I looked up, first time meeting his gaze. The words he said, were cool. Emotionless and plain. But his eyes, they have uncertainty. They had emotions brewing in them. He was affected as I took care of his wound. He didn't like it, but he was touched I felt.

He averted his gaze and stood up, and took out his clothes before going in the bathroom. Meanwhile, I had my makeup removed, lost in thoughts. Had my pajama and top, in trance.

I was lost and I didn't even realise when we two were laid in our own blankets. 

  Light was off but a loud debate was going on in my mind.

Today the tea incident wasn't some mere accident for me. No, it wasn't. It was more than that. It was actually the moment of realisation. The answers, the confusions, the dillema I'm having till now. It was a clearity for me. Shivaay could have easily let that burning tea spill all over me. He could have easily be safe and be away, but he came and stood as a shield taking all the pain to himself. He didn't let me hurt.  He protected me.

Just like a shield.

And What was I afraid of in this marriage? He would hurt me, like any other man. He is one of those man. A past of betrayal and embarassment I have lived. I have never been in a official relationship. The thought enough how was I used for mere pleasure and fun gives me bitterness towards relationships.  But clearly Shivaay isn't. He has his principles, his class, matured enough. He could have taken advantage of me at any moment, in this room we are alone, but he never looked at me with those gaze.  He could have kissed me today, but in pretence also he respected my choice. He respect my people, my maa.

He says he never care me for me. But his actions, they say something else, everytime. Zizu was right! Now that I think from starting, the night where he made sure I go inside house after Om's exibition. Than the mall incident, he opened my hairs to protect me from those dirty gaze of workers. He accepted he shouldn't misbehaved during argument, shouldn't' manhandled me. He gifted me those books, series I selected but didn't take because I couldn't pay for it. He took care or me that drunken night. Even during marriage, he made sure of our protection. He made sure at sangeet, to cure my feet. Suddenly the worried look of his when I jumped of the balcony, came infront my eyes.

He shows, he is arrogant, he is egoistic, his tongue is bitter,  but his actions. They say something else, every damn time.

Why would he doesn't let his best come in front of everyone? Why does he pretend he doesn't care at all, but does something and not even take the credit?  Why is he so cold, and so closed that he doesn't even believe in the door of relationship, as zizu indicated? Why wouldn't he let anyone in?

Why is he so against everything.

The questions ran in my mind. The curiousity to know him arise in me. The dillema to accept this marriage and give it a real chance or let it go as it's going, ate my mind.

Was there any best in staying aloof and always ignore this relationship we are tied in? Can I live like that, ever? No. No, I can't. I have always had my trust in marriage. The one and only concept. I have always believed in marriage and previously whatever decision I might have taken, not to expect anything or not to see him ever as my husband but practically that's impossible. To be honest with myself, I want this marriage to work.  I want to give my best. Even though my husband has issues, I want to take baby steps and want to know him. Understand him and than take it to forward.  I want this relationship. Because we are married now.

"Anika?" He called me out, and I just realised the heavy frown I was having on my forehead.

"Hm?"

"Are you..still thinking about my hand?"

Instead I asked, "How is it now? Is it itching?"

"You shouldn't worry about this. It's alright." Later added.  "None of your concern also."

I kept looking at him, than a moment later asked, "why would you do it?"

Tongue tied, he was but than quickly answered back, coolly "I saved you, isn't that enough?"

"More than enough." I said, my voice raspy suddenly. "But I wanted to know the reason."

He turned the table on me, "you yourself explained to me, about your natural instinct to care about everyone. It's my natural instinct."

I looked at him intently, "Would you have done it for anyone?"

He looked at ceiling, "Maybe, yes"

Liar

"Anyway, what's your resolution for this year?" He asked me out of nowhere.

I thought about it. The only thing came to my mind, to make this marriage work. To understand you. To be your friend.

"Um, to adjust with my new family," his face turned to me. "To be less of messy, travel more and few official development goals." I clicked my tongue than asked him, "What's your goal this year?"

He started with, "work on few projects, reach on new heights, have higher investments, have our industry grow on western side."

"All official goals? Nothing personal?"  I asked yawning.

"What personal goal? I'm already health concious. Languages, sports I have learnt and in practice so far." He stifle the yawn.

"Not that!" I said irritated, "your family, like more of time spending with them or work on your hobby. Or places you want to tour."

"That's time wasting. Already I spend time with them. On business trips, I have already traveled half of world."

"Buzybee. Yes, that's correct name for you. You wait, I'll surely teach you how you live your life in real."

"I'm not interested." He said with bored expression.

"We'll see." I said yawning.

He turned on his back, I said to him lastly, "keep your hand outside, in open. Don't cover it."

"For last time Anika, I'm alright. My hand is perfectly fine."

"Good night"

And with the thought, of my new resolution and how much hard work I have to put on, I lose to my peaceful sleep.

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