Love is a lot of work.

When Julia told me that she was planning to move to the US, I was touched but the burden of her decision weighed heavily on my mind.

Everything and everyone she cared for is here.

I know how much she loves her family and her work.

For her to move countries spoke of how much she loves me.

But a part of me was not okay with her decision.

Sure, I was happy that she was willing to do that.

It was a decision she made on her own.

I didn't even know about it until she mentioned it that day.

I thought of her family.

Am I being selfish by taking her away from them?

Except for me, she doesn't have anyone else there.

If she gets approved, what is she going to do in the US?

Is she qualified to be a doctor?

I doubt that.

Her qualifications here will not be honored so she has to find another job.

Julia has a lot to lose by being with me.

What if she regrets her decision?

What if she was unhappy there?

What's going to happen to us then?

#

I was standing in the porch one evening when Dad joined me.

He said he knocked but didn't hear me answer.

"What's on your mind?" He stood beside me.

It was a cool night and I listened to the sound of the leaves bristling against the breeze.

I told him about Julia's plan.

"She would do that?"

I nodded.

"Shouldn't you be happy about it?"

"I should but I'm not."

"Why?"

I told him about the pros and cons of her moving to another country.

"I want this relationship to work this time." I admitted.

"What's the other option?"

He had a serious look on his face.

I knew the answer but I was afraid of saying it out loud.

"Arizona, sometimes the answers we are looking for are right in front of us."

"Will you be okay if I stay here?"

Dad smiled.

"I want you to be happy." He placed a hand on my shoulder.

That night, I laid in bed thinking.

It wouldn't be so bad if I stay.

I'd be here to help my grandparents who clearly needed assistance.

Lolo was too overprotective of Lola resulting in disagreements with the nurse.

Without his wife to keep him in line, he just says whatever comes to mind without thinking of the consequences.

I'm going to miss my family but I could always visit.

Or they could visit me.

Dad and Regina seemed to know something I don't but they are not going to stop me if I decide to stay here for good.

Luke will be sad but he travels a lot.

He also has school and won't be at home the rest of the time.

All roads point towards me staying but am I okay with living here?

Weather wise, it's basically the same.

Maybe except for the humidity and the pollution.

It is cheaper to live here and my money will go a long way.

There is no health care which is just like the US.

I could get insurance and that would take care of everything.

I know people so it's not like I'm starting from scratch.

Most of all, I get to be with Julia.

She doesn't have to do a complete overhaul and she gets to be with her family and a heart surgeon.

I smiled.

The prospect of living here doesn't sound so bad.

So why am I so scared?

#

     A few days before my family was scheduled to go back to California, I called for a family meeting.

Lola was asleep and I let her rest.

"Are you sure about this, hija?" Lolo asked.

"Yes."
"Does Julia know about your plan?" It was my Dad's turn to ask.

"I haven't told her yet."

"What about the movie you're making?" Luke reminded me.

"I had Liz take care of it before we left. I'm not a screenwriter and those are better left with the experts."

"Are you sure about this?" Regina looked both concern and excited.

"I am."

"Hija, you don't have to do this. We have a nurse and if I need more people to help, I can always find someone."

Dad, Regina and I all looked at each other.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" Lolo looked puzzled.

"Pa, don't take this the wrong way but you are not the easiest person to get along with."

"What do you mean by that?"

Dad looked at Regina before answering.

"I know you care for Mama but you have to let others help you. They're qualified and capable but if you keep meddling with how they do their procedure, they may not stay long."

My grandfather scowled.

"Is it wrong that I wanted to make sure they do things right?" He raised his voice.

"Pa, it's not wrong. But how do you like it when others show you how to do your job?

Lolo didn't answer.

"Lolo, I'm not just doing this because I want to be with Julia but you could use my help."

"Well, it's up to you, hija. I just don't want you to make the wrong decision." His expression softened.

"I won't know until I do it, right?" I replied.