I came home one afternoon to find Lolo and Dad in the living room talking to a bald man in a suit.

Judging from my grandfather's narrowed eyes and angry expression, I sensed that whatever it was they were discussing was not according to his liking.

"What's going on?" I stood in front of them.

Dad motioned for me to sit down.

"This is Attorney Silva, our lawyer."

He stood up and shook my hand with a firm grip.

Lolo straightened in his seat.

"He's here to discuss your Lola's will."

"What?" I looked at him then at my dad.

"Mrs. Gomez gave me specific orders in case something should happen to her." The lawyer explained.

"But she's still alive."

"Yes she is hence the word in case." Atty. Silva air quoted the last two words.

"She was very clear that I speak to your family about what she wants."

"This is ridiculous. My wife is in a coma. She's not dead!" Lolo yelled.

"Dad," My father gave him a stern look.

Lolo's face was red obviously upset that talks about death are on the table.

"What does she want?" I spoke, surprising Lolo.

The lawyer opened his briefcase and took out a thick folder.

He gave it to Lolo who waved it away so the lawyer gave it to my father who opened the contents.

"Everything is in there." He said.

"I understand this is not a good time that's why she met with me to make sure that her affairs are in order." He looked at Lolo who scowled at him.

"Mrs. Gomez wanted to be buried at the memorial park where her family was buried." He looked at my grandfather.

"She mentioned that the two of you talked about it years ago."

Lolo didn't answer.

"She bequeaths her share of the house to Arizona with the intention that you need a place to stay if you need a break from writing or if you choose to stay in Manila permanently."

I was puzzled at that statement.

Does Lola know something I don't?

"Her jewelry collection will be divided between you," He gestured towards my father "and her daughter Stella if she's still alive but the 2-karat diamond engagement ring is being given to Arizona when she marries or commits to the one she truly loves."

Again, I am amused at the conditions that had something to do with my love life.

The lawyer took a deep breath before addressing my grandfather.

"She also mentioned that if ever you find someone else, she's perfectly okay with it." He addressed Lolo.
"That's ridiculous!" My grandfather hollered.

"Have a look at the will. If you have any questions, my number is in there."

He stood up and Dad did the same.

Atty. Silva looked at Lolo.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gomez but I am following your wife's order." He bowed and Dad walked him to the door.

When he was gone, Dad took a seat.

"Do you want to look at this?" He pointed to the folder on the table.

Lolo didn't answer.

Instead, he stood up and went upstairs.

When he left, Dad looked at me with the same expression of sadness.

     Death is hard to talk about.

We all know it's going to happen but somehow no one wants to talk about it.

It is not something we want to deal with so I admire Lola for having the foresight to make arrangements while she was still okay.

I also understand why Lolo was upset.

He loved my grandmother and they've been together for more than fifty years.

That's half a century of sharing their hopes, frustrations and happiness.

When I came back to the hospital that night, I heard Julia singing Here Comes The Sun, the same song she sang to me when we used to hang out at their place.

I stood at the door and listened.

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

She brought her guitar and her singing made me teary-eyed.

Pushing the door gently, I went in.

"Hi." She put the red guitar on the chair and stood up to kiss me on the cheek.

The faint whiff of Chanel No. 5 clung to her skin.

"Did you eat?" I showed her the plastic bag with the food containers.

I asked the maids to make something, thinking that Julia hasn't eaten or was binging on chips.

Bringing the bag to a small table, I took the containers out one-by-one.

I was still thinking of the lawyer's visit that I dropped the Zip Lock bag with the plastic utensils.

"I got it." Julia bent down to pick it up.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

My hands shook and she held it.

I told her about the will and how Lolo was very upset he refused to eat dinner.

Julia looked at the still figure of my grandmother.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded.

She led me to the chair where she sat on the armrest.

"I understand it's hard to talk about it but," she glanced at Lola, "She's smart to do that."

"I know that. Maybe that's why she did it in secret because she knew Lolo won't agree to it."

"I've seen it so many times, Ari." Her voice turned serious.

"The first time it happened to me, I cried."

Her brown eyes were soft, the memory of the incident fresh.

"I don't know her personally but after the surgery, I feel like she was a part of me because she died during the operation."

"Jessica was an athlete and she passed out in school during a basketball game. She was in her late teens, very active and outgoing. Her parents have no idea what happened because according to them, she was healthy and never complained about chest pains or any injury. When I was called to the OR, her BP was low and I spent most of my time trying to resuscitate her." She paused.

"For more than half an hour, I was doing chest compressions until one of the residents stepped up and told me to stop. I got mad but I knew she was right. When it was time to tell the parents what happened, the mother's scream would haunt me for months. She kept repeating her daughter's name as if doing so would bring her back. They kept asking me why but the only thing I could tell them was her heart stopped during the surgery. She lost so much blood and kept bleeding no matter how much we tried to add more in. It was as if Jessica accepted her fate while we were all trying to prevent that from happening."

Julia looked at me.

"No one knows why things happened. But if we were to learn from Lola Paula, it doesn't mean we can't prepare for the inevitable."

"But I don't want her to die, Jules. I love her." My voice quivered.

She put her hand on top of mine.

"I love her too, Ari. I'm sure she did it because she loves all of you. She didn't want anyone to worry if something should happen to her. To me, it speaks of how much she cares."

I looked at my grandmother.

She was selfless.

Her devotion to Lolo was incomparable.

He wasn't an easy man to get along with.

He was stubborn.

His word was the law.

When I stayed with them, Lola stood up for me in her own way.

She fed me, cooking my favorite chicken adobo.

When I visited, she wouldn't allow the maids to cook for me. It was always her.

She asked about the novel I'm working on, what's it about and the names of my characters.

She teased me if I drew my characters from people I know.

After my mother died, Lola loved me in the same vein as my own mother.

When I told her I'm in love with Julia, she accepted me for who I am.

I don't want to think that I will lose her.

The tears fell again.

Julia stood up and put her arms around me.

"I am here for you, Ari."

I looked up and saw love in her eyes.

"Promise me you won't leave?"

She shook her head.

"I never did."

We looked at Lola.

The monitor beeped steadily, her chest rising and falling in rhythm.

I closed my eyes and I did something I haven't done in a long time—I prayed.

I asked God to wake her up.

In return, I promised to be a better Arizona.

The one who won't run away when things get difficult.

I told Him it may take a while but I will surely make an effort.

When I opened my eyes again, I felt relieved.

A low sound came from the bed and Julia rushed to Lola's side.

"Ari, call the nurse!" The sound turned to a groan and I quickly stood up to press the call button.

My grandmother was struggling to open her eyes.

I didn't let go of the button until the doctor and the nurses came rushing to the room.