A/N:

Happy Canada Day!

@lostcomet005, heto na yung request mo.

Enjoy!

LCC

***

"Are you okay, Julia?"

I offered Shay a seat on the couch after Jax left us alone to talk.

We haven't discussed the incident at the restaurant.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"You haven't been answering my calls or my messages."

I knew she was going to say that.

"I don't know where my phone is." I lied.

"Didn't you have it when you left with Arizona?"

"I did."

"Where was the last time you've seen it?"

"I don't know."

Shay studied my face.

I tried not to show too much concern lest she suspects something.

"Why are you here?" I changed the subject.

The more she asked about the phone, the more I will get myself in trouble.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened the last time."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not." She shook her head.

"I thought about what you said."

"What did I say?"

"About me lying to my parents."
I swallowed.

"I'm looking for the right moment to tell them about us." She looked away. I sensed that there was more to it.

"But I'm running out of time."

"What do you mean?"

Shay took a deep breath.

"My mother wants me to meet this guy, someone's son from church."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her I didn't want to and we got into another argument. She brought up my age and the fact that they want to see their grandkids. To get her off my back, I agreed to see him."

I remained quiet.

Shay took my hand in hers.

"Please say something."

"What do you want me to say? Good luck? Have fun?"

"This is not easy for me."

"Nothing is easy, Shay."

"Is that why you came here to apologize so you can tell me you're going out with someone else?"
"Of course not!"

"Where does this leave us?"

I was already feeling a lot of emotions before she got here.

The guilt after I kissed Arizona, the panic of leaving my phone at her place and the thought of how to tell Shay about what happened.

Now, I have to think about this situation too.

I care for her a lot.

Before Ari's return, I was happy with our relationship despite the argument brought on by her mother's nagging that she goes out on dates with men and not go out as much with me.

"I'm just going out for coffee with this guy to satisfy my mother's request. It's not like I will start dating him."

"Shay, you're with me. We are in a relationship." It was hard to say that after what I did but this situation is hurting us both.

"I know that. That's why I'm doing this."
"What?"

"Don't you understand? My mother suspects something about us. If she finds out that I'm with you, I don't know what she's going to do."
"She won't do anything if you tell her what you really want."

I paused.

"Unless you don't know what you want."

She didn't answer.

"I can't believe this." I stood up but she grabbed my hand.

"Julia, please try to understand."
"What do you want me to understand? That my girlfriend is out there seeing another guy while I wait somewhere else for her return? Is that what you want me to do?"

She let go of my hand.

"How long do you have to keep doing this to appease your mother?"

"Until I find the courage to tell them about us." She reasoned.

I sat down again.

"You will never find it, Shay. You have to do it."

"I am so pressured right now both from you and my mother. I feel like I am being pulled in two directions that I don't even have time to think."

"What do you want to do? Do you want us to break up?"

Shay looked me in the eyes.

"You know I don't want that."

"I don't know how to help you.

"Thanks. That's what I need to hear." She stood up, grabbing her purse on the couch.

"Shay," I followed her to the door but she already walked away.

Jax came out of his office and came in.

"Who died?" He sat on the couch.

"More trouble is lesbian paradise?"

I nodded.

"Shay looked like she lost a lot of money in a casino. What happened?"

I told him the story.

"That sucks, JP."

"So she's using this guy as a cover-up so her mom doesn't suspect your relationship?"

"She's already suspicious." I took a notepad from my desk and wrote down Mr. Gomez's phone number.

"Did Shay ask about your phone?"

"Yes."

"What did you tell her?"

"I said I don't know where it is."

Jax smiled, impressed at my lying skills.

"You're good at this, JP. Where is this talent coming from?" He laughed. I didn't.

"Maybe I always had it in me, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"I had it in me to lie and to cheat. God knows I'm not perfect."

"You didn't lie or cheat to Arizona when you were still together?"

"No."
"She's always been special." Jax remarked.

Aside from Rose, he knew how much Arizona meant to me.

Jax supported me during the break-up.

When Rose couldn't get me out of bed, Jax would come by and drag me out of the room.

The first time we went out, he took me to an ice cream shop.

I cried while holding the vanilla and caramel ice cream he ordered.

It reminded me of all the times Arizona and I went out for a treat or when I'm craving for it which was often.

The cashier looked at me as if I lost my mind.

"Tears of joy." Jax said to her as we were leaving.

"What happens now, JP?"

"Maybe get my phone first?"

"That sounds like a good idea. After that, what's next?"

"I don't know." I sat beside him.

"Have you heard about this thing called honesty?"

I looked at Jax and this time, he wasn't smiling.

"You know, JP, I may not be in a serious relationship but the women I go out with knows I'm not looking for one. It makes things easy and fun."

He tapped my knee and stood up, leaving me to think of what I have to do to sort things out.