[ chapter 35 ]
he likes me, he likes me not

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

HE cannot concentrate, at least not without the burn of secure fingers encircled against his hips, ruby lips tinted bloody crimson at the curve of his neck. kim taehyung, in short, is an absolute mess.

once he'd managed to harness the flurry of bemusement and intrusive pleasure that had swarmed across his veins and fluttered at his chest, he'd unpeeled himself from the cement wall of the dingy alleyway and stumbled drunkenly into the streets that'd swept him home, his mind a roaring blue that plummeted against his eyes and hissed at his bitten lips.

he was so utterly bewildered.

did jeongguk's actions hit at a chance of some oddly strung relationship between them? was there perhaps a meagre repayment of his affection towards the younger male?

growling, he tugs at the silver of his locks, dismissing the offended glare yeontan throws him as he throws himself upon the couch.

"he said he's not gay," he mutters irritatedly, before mocking the man's ridiculous smirk with a raised pitch, "'ooh but preferences change.' ugh, so bipolar."

when he tells jimin this the next day, the small man had shrieked with what could be called relieved joy, sobbing at the prospect of his baby finally slipping on a ring.

"he definitely has the hots for you tae," the man had grinned from the other side of the line, "go get your man!"

the idea relieved him, his feelings were reciprocated despite his constant doubts. but, regardless of jimin's resolute statement of their two-sided relationship that promised a bright path, taehyung can't help the inkling of lack of affection in jeongguk's emotions.

if anything, jeongguk would probably only like him for his physical appearance. the prospect isn't anything too new him, a great handful of his relationships - or as jimin would call them, 'flings' - had been primarily based off his striking looks. and as much the thought the pleased him, his confidence stood rooted between gravel, unwavering at the onslaught of pearled compliments and gushing smiles.

no one had ever adored his personality.

no one had ever clapped him across the back for the scores that he'd scribbled across his sunken cheekbones and darkened eyes. no one had ever held him proud as he marched into a pound and offered to pay for a month's worth of feed.

sure, jimin would throw his arms across his hips and press a smile to his cheeks, lips strung tight with pride for his friend that had achieved so much. maybe he should be content with that, he supposes. he had a best friend who supported him through hell and back, wasn't that enough?

no. he wants someone who would love him for his soul, not the skin that rests across his bones.

and jeongguk does not. he's almost certain that there was no sentimental adoration within the ceo's chest for him. it was based on his looks, and that was all.

so pursing his lips and swallowing his feelings, taehyung grits defiantly, jimin was enough.

─── ·𖥸· ───

now, despite his unwavering purpose of not igniting what would be a fruitless relationship between him and the young ceo, there is no denying taehyung's swelling emotions for him.

because when kim taehyung loved, he loved hard.

which isn't entirely beneficial, he supposes bitterly, because when he fell, he plummeted to the ground in a spiralling, sweaty mess of tears and snot until thwack, his battered bones and feeble heart would seep within the soil, another grave to be dug.

mind you, taehyung doesn't love jeongguk just yet. but his feelings harboured at the lip of eternal affection, so it was only a matter of time until he'd fall, head over heels.

so when he slumps across his couch that afternoon, remote slipping precariously in his fingers, the bold red wrapped taught across the scene thunders against his chest.

"it's truly so exciting." a woman gushes, blond highlights bouncing across her shoulders as she slaps her tinted-lips, "i'm sure both their families are thrilled, more on the jeon side of course."

blinking, taehyung presses the back of his knuckles to his eyelids, sitting up on his couch, unconsciously raising the volume until yeontan glowers and nips at his knee.

a man this time, dressed modestly in a pine-stripped suit tucked against his throat, laughs nodding, "reasonably. mr.jeon doesn't have the best reputation for relationships, they'd be relieved to know that he'll be finally knotted down."

"even so," another woman pipes up curtly, spectacles eyes raised sceptically, "who says they're to last? like you said, mr.jeon isn't one to commit, i mean how many partners has he had over the course of last year? like five?"

blondie, taehyung notes, throws the woman a rather distasteful glare, huffing as she swings her locks behind her shoulders and snaps crudely.

"flings. not partners. he never confirmed any dating rumours, i'm betting their just one-night stands he was caught walking out of a club with."

"well, that further grounds my point of commitment."

this seems to zip the woman up, cranberry lips thinned beneath her teeth as she bristles silently in her seat. the man coughs, a strained smile stringing at his cheeks as he laughs, in hope of averting the tension, gesturing towards the screen where a picture of a strikingly familiar female is presented.

"well if i say so myself, that dress miss kim's flaunting for us here isn't something that you'd see in an ordinary shop, am i right?"

the mere mention of clothes seems to fire the blonde woman up again, cheeks widening as she batts her lashes and gestures lovingly towards the projector.

"you're right! the dress's designed by our one and only hyejin lee, one of korea's most renowned designers. i have a feeling that she'll also be whipping up something for her dear friend on her wedding day as well!"

glasses now raises an eyebrow at the woman's excitement, rolling her eyes in distaste, "now don't get too excited. this could always be another 'choi hanuel' saga."

"oh don't put a damper on everything," blondie snaps, a forceful smile etched across her skin, "we all knew that mr.jeon and miss.choi weren't the ones for each other. they had different paths to follow."

"well," she drawls, clicking her tongue, "go say that your squealing self two years ago when they announced their relationship."

lips curling menacingly, blondie moves to dart from her seat, acrylic nails unfurled, halted in her movement by the pointed glare the male presenter shoots her.

"tell us about hyejin lee, she's an exceptional designer..."

whatever the man says next seems to flatten against his ears, a thin line of wiring that lay mute across his mind. jeon jeongguk and kim jiyeon officially announce their wedding for later this year!

the words seem stubbled and contoured, singular letters scrambled close to morph some strange, strange sentence that pounds against his head and nips at the turns of his lashes.

so, merely two nights after pinning him to the walk of some dingy alleyway and peppering smirked promises across his skin, the very man whom he'd unknowingly handed his heart to, flings it to the curb for some bitch who couldn't tell the difference between scrambled or poached eggs.

taehyung scoffs bitterly, swiping briefly at his eyes as he suppresses the swelling ball lodged at his throat. despite knowing well of the jeongguk's antics, it didn't cease the fact that it truly hurt. they were all the same when it came to the hollowed end. simple-minded jerks who wished only for his lips across their own.

fuck him. he thinks, blinking rapidly as he digs his thumb into the red button of his remote and flings it to the other end of the couch. and fuck his stupid celebrity-statues.

fuck you jeon jeongguk.

~

[a/n]

so in that beginning part of the chapter i want you guys to take note of how insecure taehyung is, but no in the stereotypical way you would think. he knows he looks fine but it's what inside that he isn't confident about. i wonder why?

but regardless, he makes himself beleive that he doesn't anyone because no one had ever loved him for who he was, not who for how he looked,  but jimin.and we've got more jiyeon drama, ahh she's like a fly that never goes away. :((

most importantly, i wanted to get this chapter out asap for our bby jungoo's birthday! although he'll never see this, i hope he knows how much we truly love him for who he is and that'll we'll support through any choice he makes (provide it be appropriate lmao). thank you for sharing your talent and joy with the world, we all love you so much! ♥️

but not a lot in this chapter, sorry for the long wait, i'll try to be more consistent!