Chapter 28
Worthy

"I'm gonna miss you so bad, Za..."

Monique gave me a tight embrace, while Saddie stared at me with her teary eyes.

Inilahad ko naman ang aking kamay sa kanya at tuluyan nang bumagsak ang kanyang luha bago lumapit sa amin ni Monique upang makiyakap.

"I hate you for leaving New York, Za..." Saddie sobbed. "I know you're very happy here, but please, do come back to visit us once in a while..."

I nodded and hugged both of my close friends tighter. "I will... I promise."

I can't believe how fast a week had gone by. It felt like they had just arrived from New York yesterday, but now, they are already on their way back.

Monique and Saddie were both emotional that I was going to be away from them again.

"Guys, we need to board already." I heard Easton announced.

Unti-unti naman akong pinakawalan ng dalawa na hanggang ngayon ay may tumatakas pa ring luha mula sa kanilang mga mata. Lumapit naman si Wendell sa akin upang mabilis akong yakapin habang si Easton naman ay ginulo lang aking buhok.

Nilingon ko si Austin na pirming nakatitig sa akin. Lumapit naman sa kanya si Easton at itinulak papalapit sa akin upang makapagpaalam na rin.

I smiled at him, and he sighed before pulling me for a hug. Mas lalo naman akong napangiti at yumakap pabalik sa kanya. Masaya ako dahil kahit nasaktan ko siya ay ganoon pa rin ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. He was still the caring Austin I've known.

"I'm gonna miss you again..." he whispered. "Don't hesitate to send a message on our group chat if you feel like missing us, okay?"

I nodded, and he quickly kissed me on my forehead before pulling away from our hug.

Kapag bumalik ako ng New York upang bisitahin sila ay isasama ko si Jace. I wanted him to see where I lived when I was still in New York. But I think it would take a while for us to travel because we needed to finish a lot of things first.

My friends were actually kinda sad because Jace wasn't able to come with me in dropping them off at the airport. They weren't able to express their gratitude to him. They had no choice but to let me relay the message to him.

From: Jace
Sorry if I can't come. I'm here at the office. I fell asleep yesterday when I got home, so I wasn't able to work.

I decided to just visit him at his firm in order to cheer him up this day even just for a short time. It was very unfortunate that he still had to work during Saturday. I never knew that he can be this busy because of his job. He must've been bombarded of projects from different high end clients. Idagdag mo pa ang proyekto niya sa aming kompanya.

Pagkapasok ko ng aking sasakyan ay nagdesisyon akong itext muna siya bago ako dumiretso sa kanyang opisina. Baka mamaya ay lumabas siya at wala akong maabutan doon.

To: Jace
Are you still in your office?

I pursed my lips and leaned back on my seat while waiting for his reply that didn't fail me.

From: Jace
Yes. Done sending them off?

Napangiti naman ako at muling nagtipa ng mensahe para sa kanya.

To: Jace
Yup. Sayang nga at hindi ka nakasama sa paghatid. Gusto nilang magthank you sa'yo. Matagal ka pa riyan sa office?

While waiting for his next reply, I inserted the key into the ignition and started the car's engine.

From: Jace
I might stay here the whole day. I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow at the party?

Napangiti naman ako dahil tuloy na tuloy ang aking plano na bisitahin siya ngayon sa kanyang opisina. Hindi na ako nagreply sa kanya at pinatakbo na ang sasakyan.

I stopped for a few minutes at a fast food drive thru in order to buy him some food. It was past lunch already. I didn't know if he had already eaten, but I followed my instincts to buy foods for him. He can eat this if ever he gets hungry.

The firm was unsually quiet because there were only about three to five people who were working on Saturdays. Paniguradong sila ang mga may tinatapos na deadline. Tinungo ko ang opisina ni Jace at nakitang maging ang sekretarya niya ay hindi pumasok ngayon.

Slowly, I opened the door of his office and fortunately, it wasn't locked.

Agad namang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Jace mula sa kanyang ginagawa. Mabilis niyang napansin ang aking presensya dahil sa sobrang tahimik.

I can see that he wasn't expecting me to visit him. His eyes were expressing shock even though weariness was also very visible. Napatayo pa siya sa kanyang swivel chair upang lumapit sa akin.

I smiled and showed him the foods I bought for him.

"Surprise!" I slightly exclaimed.

He immediately pulled me into a hug when he got closer to me. Kahit na gustong-gusto ko siyang yakapin pabalik ay hindi ko magawa dahil sa aking hawak-hawak na mga supot.

"I missed you..." he whispered, and I felt his lips lightly brushed against my ear.

Mas lalo naman akong napangiti at bahagyang natawa. "Nagkita naman tayo kahapon bago ka umuwi, ah?"

I felt him shook his head. "It's not enough..." he said. "I want more of your presence in my every day life."

Bahagya naman akong lumayo sa kanya upang tingnan siya ng maayos. Even when he was looking tired, he was still exceptionally handsome.

"Kumain ka na ba ng lunch?" tanong ko sa kanya. "Dinalhan kita ng pagkain dahil baka hindi ka pa kumakain."

Naglakad ako patungo sa kanyang coffee table at doon ipinatong ang dala-dala kong pagkain. Sinimulan ko na rin itong ayusin para sa kanya.

"I haven't eaten yet..." he answered. "I was busy designing."

I got that he was very busy but he shouldn't push himself too much. Hindi niya dapat pinapabayaan ang kanyang sarili kahit na gaano pa siya kawalang oras. Dapat ay lagi naging binibigyan ng panahon ang ating sarili. He should be concern about his health.

Hinaharap ko naman siya pagkatapos kong ayusin ang pagkain sa lamesa bago ako humalukipkip. Mataman ko siyang tiningnan at hindi ako papayag na hindi siya kakain nitong dinala ko.

"Kumain ka na," mariin kong sabi.

His lisp twitched like he found me funny. Naiinis ako dahil natatawa pa siya sa akin.

"Kumain ka na, Jace." Mas ma-awtoridad na ang aking boses ngayon.

"Okay po..." he obediently said and sat at the couch.

Inilapit ko naman sa kanya ang pagkain bago umupo sa kanyang tabi. Pinanood ko lamang siyang kumain at kahit na inaalok niya ako ay tumatanggi ako. Kailangan niyang kainin ang lahat ng binili ko para sa kanya.

"You sure you don't want to eat?" he asked me for the tenth time.

I quietly shook my head and leaned on the backrest of the couch while I watched him eat.

"You bought too much food," he cutely whined. "I don't think I can finish it all."

"You can!" I encouraged him and grabbed the burger he wanted to share with me. "You need to eat more if you don't want to die working."

"Don't worry..." he assured me. "I can't die yet. I'm still gonna marry you."

I pursed my lips, didn't know what I have to say. This is the second time he told me that he's going to marry me. I can still remember when he told me that he wasn't planning to end our relationship. His only plan was to take it to the next level.

"And if I'm gonna die right now, it's not because of work. Mamamatay ako sa dami ng pinapakain mo," reklamo niya.

Inirapan ko naman siya bago inilapit ang burger sa kanya at wala siyang nagawa kundi ang kumagat dito. I continued feeding him because he wouldn't complain eating the foods that way. Naging kuntento lamang ako at hinayaan siyang bumalik sa trabaho nang maubos niya na ang binili kong pagkain sa kanya.

Nang matapos siyang kumain ay pinanood ko na lamang siyang magsketch ng design habang ako'y nakaupo sa couch.

I can't help but to admire how serious and focus he was while doing what he loves to do. The way his fingers held the pencil was fascinating. Para bang kakaiba ito sa normal na paghawak ng ibang tao. Kita kong binubuhos niya ang lahat sa pag-guguhit. Kaya ko ata siyang panoorin araw-araw na nagd-drawing lamang. I wouldn't get bored seeing him happy while he draws. Hinding-hindi ako magsasawang makita siyang masaya.

I was too immersed in watching him do his craft when my phone suddenly chimed. Jace raised his gaze when he also heard my phone. Nginitian ko na lamang siya at saka tiningnan ang aking cellphone na mayroong mensahe mula kay Isha.

From: Engr. Isha Horan
Good afternoon, Zarina! Can I talk to you later? Let's have dinner.

Lumabi ako habang iniisip kung ano ang posible naming pag-usap. Hindi ko rin alam kung dapat ko ba itong sabihin kay Jace. I feel like it was something I shouldn't tell him.

To: Engr. Isha Horan
Sure! Can we meet at Golden Bay, then? 7PM.

I took note of the current time and it was only five in the afternoon. I still have two hours left, and it was an hour ride from Jace's firm without traffic.

From: Engr. Isha Horan
No problem. See you later.

Muli naman akong nag-angat ng tingin kay Jace. Bahagya akong nagulat nang makitang kanina pa siya nakatitig sa akin.

"Who texted you?" he curiously asked me.

I was thankful that my mind was able to produce a very flawless lie in a matter of milliseconds in order to answer Jace without him getting suspicious.

"My mom," I answered and stood up from sitting at the couch. "She told me to get myself pampered for tomorrow night. Kagabi niya pa ako sinabihan no'n."

Lumapit naman ako sa kanya. Inikot niya ang kanyang swivel chair upang maharap ako ng maayos bago niya hinapit ang akking abiwang papalpit sa kanya. He rested his forehead on my tummy.

"You're gonna leave now?" pabulong niyang tanong sa akin.

I didn't want to leave him, but I feel like Isha had something important to tell that we needed to talk about it in person. Gusto kong malaman kung ano ang gusto niyang pag-usapan naming dalawa. Malakas din ang pakiramdam ko na tungkol ito kay Jace.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave you now..." I told him.

He heaved and exhaled a deep breath before looking at me. Ang kanyang braso ay nakapalupot pa rin sa aking baiwang.

"It's okay..." he assured me. "Thank you for visiting me today. It means a lot."

Tumango naman ako at yumuko upang halikan siya sa kanyang noo gaya ng kanyang madalas na ginagawa sa akin tuwing siya ay magpapaalam na aalis.

"Sa Monday, bibisitahin ulit kita," sabi ko naman. "Hanggang busy ka, ako ang bibisita sa'yo."

He chuckled. "You don't have to," he said. "I wouldn't be that busy next week. Hanggang ngayon na lang 'to."

"Sure ba 'yan?" paninigurado ko sa kanya.

He nodded and smiled at me. "See you tomorrow night?"

Tumango rin ako sa kanya at muling humalik sa kanyang pisngi bago tuluyang umalis sa kanyang opisina. Baka kapag nagtagal pa ako ay hindi ko na gustuhin ang umalis dahil gusto ko'y kasama ko lang siya.

I thought I'd be able to arrive in Golden Bay within an hour, but the traffic made it worse. It was a good thing that I decided to leave the firm early.

Pagkapasok ko sa loob ay agad kong namataan si Isha sa hindi kalayuan. Hindi na ako nahirapan ang hanapin siya sa gitna ng maraming taong kumakain.

"Any table reservation, Ma'am?" The receptionist politely asked me.

Umiling naman ako sa kanya at ngumiti. "I'm with her..." Sabay turo ko kay Isha. "Salamat na lang..."

Agad na akong naglakad patungo sa table kung nasaan si Isha. She was able to sense my presence right away as she raised her gaze at me. Ngumiti siya at tumayo upang salubungin ako.

"Thank you for meeting me tonight, Za..." she said and kissed me on my cheek.

"Walang problema," sabi ko naman. "Ano ba ang dapat nating pag-usapan?"

"Hmm..." nag-aalangan naman siyang magsalita. "Let's eat dinner first. Naka-order na pala ako habang wala ka. I took the initiative to order for us while I'm waiting. Sana ay okay lang sa'yo ang mga inorder ko."

Ibinaba ko naman ang tingin ko sa lamesa at nakita ang apat na iba't ibang putahe. I'm not a picky eater so whatever's on the table, I can eat it.

"Thank you." I smiled at her.

I can feel Isha's hesitation to tell me what she has to say. I didn't know what was holding her back, but it just made me curious. I wanted so badly to hear the words she ought to say.

Pakiramdam ko'y hindi niya dapat sabihin ang kung ano man ang sasabihin niya ngayon pero hindi niya kayang pigilan ang sarili niya na manahimik lamang.

In order to let Isha collect her thoughts and gather up courage, I started eating dinner while waiting for her to speak.

"Kumain ka na rin," sabi ko sa kanya dahil pinapanood niya lang akong kumain.

Nag-aalangan siyang ngumiti sa akin at tumango bago nagsimulang maglagay ng pagkain sa kanyang pinggan pero agad din siyang natigil upang tumingin sa akin.

Ngumiti naman ako sa kanya.

"May problema ba?" tanong ko at sana ay sabihin niya na ang kung ano man ang nais niyang sabihin.

She shook her head, but didn't cut her stare off of me. "I just realized how much Jace loves you..."

Agad nang kumalabog ang aking dibdib. Parang alam ko na ang gusto niyang sabihin. Ayoko nga lang magkatotoo ang iniisip ko dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko.

"I'm not in the right position to tell you this, but I just couldn't help it," sabi niya. "Naisip kong mabuti nang malaman mo ito ngayong gabi at maging handa para sa mangyayari bukas."

Kumunot ang aking noo. "Para sa mangyayari bukas?"

Tumango naman siya. "Your family's invited, right?" paninigurado niya. "Doon sa party ng kompanya ng pamilya ni Jace."

I bit my lower lip and slightly nodded. "Yes..." I said. "What's the party about, by the way? Jace just told me about it when we were on our trip. Sinabi rin ito sa akin ni mommy kahapon pagkauwi namin ngunit hindi ko alam kung para saan 'yon."

Huminga naman siya ng malalim at binitawan ang kubyertos na kanyang hawak.

"Gaya nga ng sabi ko kanina, wala ako sa tamang posisyon na sabihin ito sa'yo pero sasabihin ko pa rin sa'yo," panimula niya. "Nalaman ko lang ito kay Liana kaninang umaga nang imbitahin niya rin ako. She told me what the party is about. And because you're Jace girlfriend, I strongly believe that you should know about this as soon as possible. Sa lagay mo ngayon, sigurado akong wala kang alam sa mga nangyayari ngayon. Tama ang hinala kong wala siyang sinasabi sa'yo."

"I'm sorry, Isha but you can please get straight to the point?" I cut her off. "I don't understand anything..."

It felt like my mind was about to explode. The way she spoke was like a riddle to me that I still need to solve.

"Talavera Corporations will announce the new president of their company tomorrow night. I thought it will be Liana beause she's bound to be its heiress but..." she trailed and sighed before she spoke again. "Jace will be the one to take over the company. He will be the president, while Liana will step down as the vice president."

My lips slightly parted. Hindi ko man lang alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin.

"Sinabi sa akin ni Liana na para sa iyo raw ang desisyon ni Jace na patakbuhin ang kompanya nila. Iyon daw kasi ang gusto ng mommy mo para matanggap ang relasyon ninyong dalawa... para matanggap siya," sunod niyang sabi sa akin. "Zarina, you know how much Jace hates to rule their company. You know how much he loves his current profession. Nasasaktan ako bilang best friend niya dahil alam kong hindi naman talaga 'yon ang gusto niyang gawin. He doesn't want to be a part of his family's legacy. He wants to make his own, but it will not happen anymore."

Wala na akong pakialam kung gaanong karaming tao ang nasa paligid naming ngayon. My tears shamelessly rolled down my cheeks. I feel so guilty.

Is that why he suddenly became so busy these past few days? Halos mawalan na siya ng oras sa sarili niya dahil naghahanda siya sa pamamahala ng kanilang kompanya. Kaya tinatapos na niya ang mga pending projects niya bilang isang arkitekto ay dahil hindi na niya 'yon magagawa.

And it was all because that's what my mother wants...

Ito ang dahilan kung bakit bigla na lang naging ayos ang lahat para kay mommy. She suddenly liked Jace because of it. She already knew what was gonna happen.

"Zarina, I can see how much Jace loves you just by giving up what he loves for you..." she told me. "I can also see that you love him equally or even more than that but... I know you already understand what I want to say. I've been with Jace for years. This is his dream. This is his passion. This is what he loves. He's giving it all up just to look worthy in the eyes of your mother when he's already greater than that."

Napatitig na lang ako sa baso ng tubig na nasa aking harapan. Tiningnan ko ang aking repleksyon na aking nakikita roon. Sino nga ba ako?

Am I a person worthy enough for him to give up his dreams for me?

"Za, you're the only one who can change his mind. Please... help him..." she begged me for Jace's sake.

She didn't have to worry about Jace.

Hindi ko hahayaang isuko niya ang kanyang pangarap para sa akin. Hindi ko kayang makitang nahihirapan siya dahil sa akin. 'Di bale na ang ako ang maghirap. 'Di bale na kung ang pangarap ko na lang ang aking isusuko.

I'd rather let my dreams fail just to make his come true.